Part 7
Gone Again
Lips moving down her neck, stopping at the base. Slight, stimulating kisses. Lips moving from her neck, across her collar bone, and down. Hot hands. One softly caressing, matching in pleasure the lips sucking on her other breast; one moving down her belly, across the tender flesh below her navel. Lower. Sweet pain of unfulfillment giving way to new, captivating sensations. Moaning, coming from her, coming from him. Reaching out, feeling warmth, feeling strength, feeling life. Suddenly, pleasure twisting into pain. Hot hands being replaced by cold nothingness, stimulating kisses giving way to the void. Reaching out, feeling cold, feeling absence, feeling hollow. All the while amber eyes—watching.
Brown eyes fluttered open as the dream ended and consciousness came rushing back. Reading the bright red 3:47 of the clock on the nightstand, she slowly stirred and forced herself out of bed. Not bothering to turn on the lights, she lifted the cotton night shirt that read 'take me to your leader,' a birthday present from Kyle, over her head as she made her way to the bathroom. She opened the shower door and turned the water on.
The location might be different but her ritual was the same. She stepped into the shower and placed her hands against the wall, head bent. The warm water poured over her, cleansing her of the remnant of her dream. She tilted her head up and reveled in the sensation of the water as it fell across her face. The water running over her never failed to wash away the familiar impressions left by her dream. Except this time the customary feelings of loss and bitterness were mixed with new feelings of regret and anxiety. Regret that she hadn't found the courage to call Alex back and talk to him, tell him what she so clearly wanted to but didn't know how. Anxiety that tomorrow morning she would have to see those amber eyes watching her once more.
These new feelings were harder to wash away.
When Liz finally crawled back into bed the clock read 4:31. The front desk would be calling her in three hours to welcome her into the new day. Curling up under the covers, she hoped the rest of the night would be dream free. She needed as much sleep as she could get for the day she had ahead of her.
**********
Covering a yawn, Liz leaned back into her chair as she watched the other members of the council that were on the stage. Tukaram was sitting a few chairs down from her, engaged in the papers in front of him rather than conversation. Sero was speaking with Larek while his second was talking with a bleached blonde Liz assumed was Banar in his new host. Apparently aliens didn't mind a little cross-dressing in short pleather skirts and spiked high heels. Banar's new host looked as if she had seen better days. She was probably not much older than Liz but her worn skin and tired eyes made her look considerably more. She thought of the hard life this woman must have led to be so aged and was reminded slightly of Isabel. In case there was ever a doubt, Liz would now definitely not be able to forget the resolution she made to stay last night.
Swallowing another yawn Liz wished she had indulged in more than two shots of espresso on the limo ride over. After Isabel left she was pretty drained and while she knew she needed to talk with Alex, she really didn't have the energy. She had planned to order dinner in, watch some mindless tv, and then crash. About the time she was getting ready for bed, Maria called and all thoughts of an early night were soon forgotten. Maria needed each and every detail about her day, except when it came to the topic of Michael. Liz told her he looked good, a little tired but good, but Maria didn't want any more details beyond whether or not he was still following Max around like 'a lap dog.'
Liz didn't get to bed until after one and lost an hour of sleep to the aftermath of her dream, thus the need for massive amounts of caffeine. The previous afternoon she had asked Whitmore to pick her up a little earlier this morning so she could get to the theater before Max. She wanted to avoid making a big entrance like yesterday. She got her wish but she was currently wondering whether an extra thirty minutes of sleep would have been a wiser approach.
Her brief meeting with Kivar ten minutes ago had already exhausted her. She and Larek had been talking in the left wing when Kivar had approached them. He didn't want much, at least as far as she could tell from the conversation, but making small talk with the alien king or dictator or whatever title you wanted to give him was wearying. It didn't help that thanks to her powers she knew that the entire time they were talking (about something as mundane as the poor transportation systems of Earth) Kivar was anticipating something from her. He was focusing his attention on her as if in any second she was going to do something. What he thought she was going to do, she couldn't tell and it frustrated her. She managed to console herself with the fact that at least this time he didn't try to kiss her hand.
Liz was considering getting up and investigating the caffeine options in the green room when Michael walked onto the stage. Max didn't appear to be with him. He made his way over to her, stopping to stand a few feet away from her chair.
Poor Michael, she thought, noticing his little-boy-lost look that got Maria every time. He still wasn't real sure how to interact with her. Liz had to squelch the urge to give him a hug. Though they had been fairly good friends at one point, Michael really wasn't the hugging type. Unless of course, she qualified in her mind, you were the one who needed the comfort or your name was Maria.
Instead of offering him a hug, she gestured to the chair beside her with a smile.
"Hey," he began as he sat down.
"Hey yourself."
"Isabel shouldn't have burst in on you like that."
Ah, she had missed Michael's bluntness.
"Don't worry about it," she replied. "I'm glad we got to talk. And truthfully it didn't really surprise me. I remember how Isabel gets when her brothers are involved."
Michael nodded in acceptance. "Once she found out where you were staying, I couldn't stop her from going to you."
"How did she know where I was?" She hadn't thought to ask Isabel that last night. Of course, after Isabel's little break down, she didn't ask her much.
"Uh, Max mentioned it before he went out."
Liz raised a brow. "He just happened to mention it?"
"More like 'stay away from the Grand Hyatt' but the result was the same."
"And let me guess, he knew where I was because he followed my limo back to the hotel."
"From what Max said, the limo's not exactly the most inconspicuous vehicle on the road. Besides, I'm sure he didn't mean any harm." His slightly defensive response made Liz reluctant to press the issue.
"I suppose not," she allowed, suppressing her desire to ask just exactly what Max was doing following her. "So, where is the man in question?"
"Kathana waylaid him on our way in. I overheard her mention the granolith."
"I don't envy him then. She seems pretty intent on everyone's favorite magical cone."
"A pitbull comes to mind," he muttered.
"I had a professor like that once. He'd keep asking the same question over and over again, even though no one in class knew the answer. I can't tell you how glad I am I don't have to take another class with him."
"What are you going to do after? I mean, after you finish school, not this little freak show," he qualified with a shake of his head.
"I've applied to several graduate degree programs. I'm hoping to continue at Harvard and stay in Boston. I love the area so much that I've have even become a Soxs fan, much to Kyle's dismay."
"Kyle is a Yankee's fan?" Michael asked with such a disgusted look that Liz couldn't help but laugh a little.
"No, but since he's moved to Chicago he can't imagine people rooting for a team other than the Cubs."
Michael shook his head at that comment. "The Cubs. I suppose they help him practice his patience."
"Oh, I've seen him at a game. All his Buddhist meditation, inner calm stuff is checked at the gate."
Michael replied with a half-smile before he turned the conversation to her again. "Isabel mentioned that life has been treating you well. I'm really glad."
"Thanks Michael. She told me too, about your life. What's been going on, what you've had to face. I'm so sor-"
"No pity please," he cut in, clearly uncomfortable with where she had been going. "It's just what a second-in-command has to deal with."
"Check, no pity," she replied with a disarming smile. "Just, I know how hard it was for you to leave. I want you to know that I admire your strength and courage."
He gave her a full grin at that remark. "Liz Parker admiring Michael Guerin? Are four horsemen going to gallop through here anytime soon?"
"You know," she teased back, "I think the weatherman did mention something about rain of toad."
They kidded each other like the old friends they were for a few minutes, Liz enjoying every moment he smiled, before Michael broached the topic she had wondered if he would mention.
"How is... Uh, how -"
"She's good, busy but good."
"Good, that's good," he quickly replied, clearly trying to sound casual.
"Did Isabel tell you anything?"
"About Maria? No."
"Oh." That meant Michael didn't know about Maria's dating status, or lack there of. She didn't think now was quite the appropriate time and place to mention it. Of course, she wasn't really sure when she could casually drop that into conversation without getting Michael's hopes up. As long as Michael was being the second-in-command first and Michael second, Maria claimed she wouldn't have anything to do with him.
"Is she with you?"
"In New York?" she asked slightly surprised at the question. "Um, no. But she will be. She'll be here two days from now."
"Oh."
"She's finishing up schoolwork. She did a small tour this past month out in California and has lots of stuff to make up for her classes."
"A tour?" He sounded impressed. Maria said she wasn't interested in details but she might make an exception for that little tidbit.
"Yep. You know how she was shopping around some of her songs before you left?"
"Remember?" he snorted. "Half of them were about pig-headed boyfriends. How could I forget?"
"Well she sold a couple and that gave her the confidence and street cred to expand out from the Boston area. She's played here quite a bit and this was her first West Coast gig."
"That's great. She deserves it." Michael's casual tone had transformed into a more pensive one.
"She really does. It looks like that tour may have been the big break, too. She's really excited."
"I'm glad. That she's living her dream." Liz's heart just about broke hearing the way he said that. It was as if he was mourning all of his own dreams, dreams which she was sure included Maria.
"Michael -"
"Michael," Max's voice overpowered her own and drew both of their attention. He was standing at the opposite end of the table, staring at them expectantly and looking just as good as he had yesterday. Not that she noticed.
"Nice conversation, Max?" Michael queried with a caustic tinge to his voice. Liz was glad to see Michael still gave Max at least some attitude.
"The best," he replied coolly, still staring expectantly.
Michael turned to Liz and gave her a defeated expression.
"Maybe sometime while we're both in New York you and I can have coffee or something else as un-alien related as possible."
"That sounds great," she smiled at him as he rose for the chair. He approached Max and the two walked a few steps away from the table, completely out of her earshot.
Watching Michael and Max quietly confer out of the corner of her eye, she wished she knew what they were talking about. Was it about the granolith, Nicholas, her? She would have been tempted to read their lips but she didn't want it to appear like she was staring at them, not when Max was so clearly staring at her. Though he was speaking with Michael, his eyes didn't stray far from her. Oh, whenever she would glance his way he would avert his gaze, but she had enough experience with the Max stare to know what was going on.
"It seems our kingling has himself a little crush," Kivar's taunting voice distracted her from her non-watching of Max. She looked over to see that the well-dressed man had taken his seat and was now leaning over the table, his eyes practically twinkling with delight. He was enjoying her little melodrama way too much.
"Or maybe he's just admiring my sweater," she suggested flippantly.
"Hmm, perhaps," he drawled with a knowing smile.
Liz was getting very annoyed with these alien kings and their cockiness. Kivar may not have been the rightful ruler of Antar, but he had just as much arrogance as Max Evans to pull it off.
She was going to come back with some witty retort when Larek called the meeting to order.
"Good morning," he began as everyone else sat down around the table. "I'm sorry for the disruption yesterday but as we all know inhabiting a host takes a great deal of energy and resources. Hopefully we will be able to meet longer today but we won't try to push our resources too far."
Liz watched the other alien-inhabited bodies nod in agreement. She hadn't really thought of how exactly they managed to take over bodies millions of light years away. She was glad she only had to come down from Boston.
"Having heard Kivar's proposal yesterday, I would like to open this morning with the suggestion that we explore the implications of his plan." Larek looked to Max for a reaction; Max gave him nothing.
"All right then," Larek continued as he heard no objections. "Here's my first concern. You say, Kivar, that if we give you immunity and a 'nice set-up,' you'll give up control. What guarantee do we have that you won't change your mind and make a play for Antar again?"
Kivar nodded as though he had been expecting this question. "I would be willing to allow moderate surveillance. You can watch my comings and goings, make sure I'm not conspiring with anyone to make my way back to the throne."
"And what about your followers?" Sero interjected. "How do we know they won't do the conspiring without you, or you haven't already set up some advanced plan?"
"You don't," Kivar admitted as he leaned back into his chair, clearly enjoying being the center of attention. "But no matter what happens, you won't have a guarantee that my followers won't lay down their arms. With this plan, however, you will have me making the announcement that I have freely chosen to step down and discouraging anyone from rising up against the new government. I think that's about as good as you're going to get."
"And what do you propose we do with your followers? Offer them immunity too?" This question came from Hanar.
"I trust the council to make that decision when they come into control of Antar."
In other words, Kivar didn't care about his followers, Liz observed, only himself. Big surprise.
"So you have no objection with them being charged with war crimes?" Jael asked intently.
The questions and discussion continued in similar vein for several hours. The conversation was intense and intricate and Liz felt out of her league more than once. She was a bio-chem major, not an expert in political negotiations. But she was trying, unlike some people.
Max, supposed King of Antar, hadn't said a word. Michael offered a couple of questions and comments throughout but Max remained silent and seemingly disengaged. As the rest of the council worked, discussed the details of how power would be turned over, the potential make-up of a temporary governing body to rule, Max just sat there looking bored.
He also kept looking her way.
She tried to dismiss it, telling herself that he was really glancing at Larek and it just appeared like he was staring at her. But she was smarter than that and not so heavy in denial. So as she sat there, trying to engage in this complex discussion, asking questions she thought Max should be, addressing concerns she thought he would have if he cared at all, she also had to deal with Max trying to confuse her. At least that's what she decided was his plan. Make her so confused about what was going on with him that she'd get frustrated and just go home. Yep, that's what he was doing.
"Tell yourself that once more with feeling," she mumbled under her breath as she shifted in her chair for the countless time. The lack of sleep was really getting to her; she had to keep moving to keep herself awake. Looking around the table she took small comfort in seeing several other participants struggling to focus on whatever ancient inter-galactic treaty Kathana was currently discussing in excessive detail.
Liz was about to lose the fight with sleep as Kathana droned on when Larek interrupted the other alien.
"I had no idea King Bajson played such an important role in the development of the Ishria Treaty; thank you for such an excellent detailed description, Kathana" he commented with such grace that Liz was truly awed by his diplomatic abilities. "I'm sensing that the energy of this council is waning and we certainly want to give our history and our future our full attention. So, let us take a thirty minute break to stretch our bodies, refuel our hosts if need be, or check on our resources at home."
Liz watched as the other members, Max and Michael included, got up and walked toward the green room where she was sure Whitmore had prepared plenty of refreshments. Larek took a moment to apologize for a certain member's long windedness. She smiled and told him it reminded her of some classes and not to worry about her. Satisfied by her answer, Larek left to join the others, leaving her on her own for a few moments, relishing the quiet. No complicated conversations, no verbose and boring aliens, no ex-boyfriend staring at her, and... no energy whatsoever. Forcing herself out of her chair she headed over to the green room herself. Sleep was going to claim her if she didn't get more caffeine.
Maybe it was fate, maybe it was kismet, maybe it was just dumb luck but as Liz passed by Max's chair her eye caught something on the ground. It was a black wallet. She bent down and picked it up, taking notice of the worn leather curling at the sides. As she stood there looking at the content of her hand, Liz felt Maria standing beside her, whispering in her ear, "there's always the best information in the wallet."
"Hush, inner Maria," she muttered as she continued to stare at the wallet. She didn't need to go looking through Max's things. But her Maria voice did have a point. You could find some good information in a person's wallet. Like, say, who exactly the wallet belonged to. She didn't even really know if the wallet was Max's, afterall. Just because she found it by his chair and because it looked like an older version of the billfold his mom had gotten him when they were in high school didn't mean that it was actually his.
"Yeah, and maybe the big guy in the red suit coming down the chimney at Christmas isn't Santa."
This was Max's wallet and it would be wrong to look through it. She wouldn't want anyone pilfering through her purse. Yes, it would be wrong. But... She was at a complete disadvantage with Max. She had no idea what was going on and her usual means of detectiving didn't work on him. She was here to help Max and she couldn't very well do that if she didn't have any insight into him.
"That's right, Liz," she sighed as stared at the thing, "justify your inappropriate behavior."
A perfectly moral person would put the wallet on the table or in his chair without looking at its contents. But, then again, Liz had never claimed to be perfect. With a quick glance towards the wing and the direction of the green room, she gave into temptation.
Noticing the driver's license Liz had confirmation that this was indeed Max's wallet. Actually, on closer inspection Liz saw that the billfold belonged to a 'Chris Wolfe.' Apparently Max hadn't changed his driver's license back from the last time he needed to be someone else. Did he even bother becoming Max Evans anymore, she wondered, or did he just go from alias to alias?
Along with his driver's license she found a hotel keycard from the Clarion Hotel. She pulled the billfold pocket open and saw some cash and a receipt. It seems Max stopped by Starbucks this morning and if she remembered her cross-streets right, he got it only a block away from her hotel.
As interesting as the receipt was, it wasn't the most surprising thing in his wallet. No, it was what she found in the small pocket behind his driver's license that shocked her. She realized the item she at first thought was a note was actually a folded photo the moment her fingers touched the glossy back. As she pulled the picture out from the pocket, she knew even before she opened it what it was. There, on one side of the folded photo, were the words "I will always..." written in her own familiar script. The lump in her throat grew larger as she slowly unfolded the picture. Staring back at her was her own smiling face, one that used to grace the living room mantle of her aunt's house in Florida.
This was the picture she had sent with the hardest letter she had ever written - the one where she tried to explain to Max why she did what she did at the rocks that day. She hadn't said much about their admission of love for one another in her letter. She didn't think she could address it and then go on to say "but we can't ever be together." But before she sent that letter to him, she grabbed a picture her aunt had, signed it "I will always love you," and mailed the letter and photo before she could talk herself out if it. She didn't want him to think what they shared wasn't real - it was the realist thing she had ever felt.
And even though she had given him more than enough reason to doubt that love, he had kept the picture. Not only had he kept it but he carried it around with him.
"Max Evans is staring at you again," the Maria voice piped up once more as Kivar's comment about Max's crush also came rushing back to her. Why was she always the one in denial? She couldn't hide behind her not-so-rational rationales for his behavior anymore.
"What's going on Max?" she murmured as she slipped the picture back into the pocket.
She had thought he had been staring at her as some sort of intimidating tactic. Maybe he still was. But why would he keep this picture with him? Why had he clearly carried it with him for sometime? If she didn't know their own history she would wonder if maybe he still felt something for her. But she did know their history and it was impossible. But what was truly impossible, she challenged herself, when your ex-boyfriend was a reincarnated alien king? Maybe he did still have some feelings for her. But what, exactly, would those feelings be?
Or maybe he kept the picture as a reminder of promises broken. Maybe, she thought with an increasing certainty, he kept it as a reminder not to trust anyone else, not to let anyone else in.
"Well, that's what you get for snooping," she quietly chastised herself. She wondered if this confusing piece of information was one of those things Alex couldn't tell her about. Maybe this was proof that somehow she was the one who needed to get Max to trust again. Or maybe it meant nothing at all. She wished for the countless time since yesterday that she could sense Max. She hated being this clueless, this out of control.
She had just placed the wallet with its confusing contents on the tablet when an unmistakable voice called out to her.
"Find anything interesting?"
She slowly looked up from the incriminating evidence and found herself staring at an angry Max.
If Isabel got excited about yesterday's confrontation, Liz thought as her heart raced and stomach clenched, she was going to get quite a kick out of this.
