For this chaper, if it's in italics, it's a memory from before Xana ran away. This chapter is based off of the poem below, that I wrote. The chapter starts serious and sort of sad, but it gets funny! Enjoy! R&R!
Curtains thick and sheets of lead,
My hands are stained a bloody red.
The hypocrite I have become,
There is no battle ever won.
Though just and right my actions seem,
The lurking dark at edges teem.
I made you promise not to dye
Your hand so red, but now and I
And aye, my hands have spilled and shed,
A life's own simple, bloody red.
Moonlight. Starlight. Stars of the sky, stars of the city. Burning bright with smoke and torchlight. She sits there, face upward, Xana. Perched in the tree that tonight will play host as her home. Such a life she has, and such a life it is for one so lonely. No thought she has is concrete, no thought is her own, anymore. She shares them with herself, a quiet voice that wonders if it was worth it. She sat there, staring at a simple, red and purple, woven bracelet. It was given to her by her brother, taken away by the warden of the prison, that for so long, kept her unjustly held. When she broke into the warden's office to get the feather that bought her freedom, she spent so long searching for the bracelet. It almost cost her, her freedom. She could only wonder now, it was worth it. But the truth was, she wasn't staring at the bracelet, she was staring at her pants, stained simple, bloody red. Blood of the Agent she had shot. So unjust. How could she say now, that she was better than her captors. Hestia… She has let you down.
The grey, steel walls were silent this time of night. Silent, except for the whispering of two girls, up way past their bedtime. Xana grasped Hestia's hands tightly. It would be, perhaps, that she would never see her again. But now, she had one moment, one brief slice of time for goodbye.
"Hestia…Take care of yourself. Please. I'll return, one day. I promise, I will." Xana assured her.
Hestia looked her in the eyes, solemn at first, then smiled. "I have no doubt in my mine. I'll stay strong for you…" Her smile turned sad, and she grasped Xana in a desperate, final, goodbye hug. "Xana, I never had a family before. But to me, you were like a big sister. And as your little sister, I don't want you to go…"
"Hestia. I have to go. I need to find my brother and sister. I need to know they're OK." Xana whispered.
Hestia put her hands on her hips, and looked at her, sternly. "Xana, if you do get out, how are you going to find them? You have no idea where they are!" Hestia pleaded.
"Jonathan Franks will tell. Hestia, we are trained by these people to do horrible things. Promise me that you will never sink down to their level. Stay true to who you are. You are Hestia." Xana pulled the small girl into another tight hug.
"I promise Xana. Now you gotta promise me something." Hestia said, pushing away from Xana's tight grip. Xana looked at her with quiet confusion. "Promise me that you will do the same. You know who you are, too. You are Xana. Don't do anything that you will regret." Hestia pleaded.
"Hestia, what do mean? Regret?"
"Jonathan Franks blew up your house and most of your family. He shot your brother, and kidnapped your little sister and brother. There is hate in your heart for this man. Of course there is. And because you hate, some part of you wants revenge. Don't do it. To kill someone in cold blood, for revenge, makes you no better than they are. Promise me!"
Xana's eyes met Hestia's. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. There was silence for a long time. Xana's eyes began to tear up. "Oh, I promise, Hestia. I promise. I promise."
Xana felt her eyes well up with tears. What had she done? Shot a man, maybe even killed him, in cold blood. An innocent man, no less. She promised Hestia that she would not do anything that she would regret. Oh Hestia… Oh Hestia… What had she done? What had she done? Spilled innocent blood… Now her hands were stained with simple, bloody red.
"Hestia, I cannot bare to think on what I have done! What have I done? What have I done?" Xana thought bitterly, clenching her teeth.
"Oh Hestia… I hope, I hope that we do not meet again. I could not bare to look into your eyes again, and watch as happiness and joy melts to shame and disappointment as I tell you what I have done. My hands are stained now… no better than those who keep us locked away… Oh Hestia, I broke my promise, I've let you down… Can I even ask forgiveness anymore? Oh Hestia, Oh my little sister, I'm so sorry."
X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.
Hestia sat at the foot of McGee's bed, swinging her legs. It was mid afternoon, and she was feeling antsy. Abby had told her to wait there, with McGee while she finished some forensic stuff. Hestia didn't usually mind waiting, but then again, the last time she was told to wait, was a pain-endurance test, in which, she stood silently in a line with twenty-five other kids, and one by one they were shot and forced to endure the horrible pain that followed.
But still, she was always a patient little girl, so, as to why she was so fidgety today, was anybody's guess. She could usually find plenty of things to do when she had to wait while she was with Agent Gibbs' team, but a hospital was different. There were many fun buttons and tubes and stuff to play with, but the doctors always yelled at you if you played with them. She supposed that she could just talk to someone, but the only person in the room to talk to, at the moment, was Agent McGee. And he was only fun to talk when the doctors put him on pain medication. He also looked sort of asleep.
Hestia hopped off of the bed and stood right next McGee. She got really close to his face, trying to make sure he wasn't pretending. He still didn't move, so she poked his face. "Are you asleep?" She asked in sort of a hushed whisper. No response. So she poked his face again. It was kind of squishy and fun to poke. It would probably be more fun to poke, if she had a stick. She walked around the room, but there was no stick. So she walked into the hall to the reception desk.. She saw a stick in one lady's hand. It had a pink squishy thing on one end, and a black sharp point on the other. She walked up to the desk. She had to hop up and down to be tall enough to talk to the lady.
"My I help you?" The lady asked, smiling.
"Can I use your stick?" Hestia asked pointing to the pencil in her hand.
"This?" She asked then shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I'm using it right now." Upon seeing the disappointed look on Hestia's face, the lady searched around and picked something up. "You can use this!" She smiled. She took the top off, revealing a pointy end, and handed it to Hestia. It looked sort of like the one in her hand, except it was black and white and smelled funny. On the side, in big curvy letters it said: "Sharpie". The lady then handed Hestia a piece of paper, although Hestia didn't know why.
Hestia took the pen and the paper and smiled. "Thank you!" She said and ran back to McGee's room. She stood by his head again. "Are you still asleep?" She asked. Again, no response. So Hestia poked his face with her finger. She smiled. She then poked his face with the Sharpie she got. It left a black dot on his face. She looked at it in awe and giggled. She poked his face again, only to get the same results. Fascinated, she dragged the marker across his face. It left a long, thick line. Happy with the results, she continued to doodle on the poor boy's face, until McGee began to wake up. He yawned a little and looked around. He scratched his face, smearing the most recently drawn doodle. Hestia's eyes widened and she ran over to a chair, giggling. Abby, Ziva, and Tony walked in a moment later.
"Hey guys, did you just get here?" McGee asked, groggily. There was no response. Only three very shocked stares. "What?" McGee asked.
"What happened to your face, Probie?" Tony asked. Hestia's eyes widened, again, and she quickly his the marker behind her back.
"What do you mean?" McGee asked.
"Oh, you'd better see for yourself, Tim." Abby said. She couldn't help but smile. She took our An eye shadow container that had a mirror attached and handed it to McGee.
"Ah! Tony, what did you do?" McGee asked, horrified.
"Hey, I just got here!" Tony argued. All eyes turned to Hestia, who had long since gotten rid of the pen.
Hestia held up her hands, which were smeared with black. "Hey, wasn't me." She shrugged. She looked at her hands and shoved them into her pockets.
McGee rolled his eyes. "Great."
"Don't worry, Timmy! I've got some make-up remover that should do the trick!" Abby beamed, making McGee try to sink down. Trying to move like that, made a fiery pain shoot up his spine, causing him to wince, and make what sounded like a squeaking noise.
"What happened?" Hestia asked. "Every time you move, you make that noise. What happened to you that put you in the hospital, anyways?"
"Agent McGee was shot in the stomach by an horrible little girl, seeking revenge." Abby sort of spat out the words, then immediately wished she could take them back, as Xana was like a hero to Hestia.
"A horrible little girl?" Hestia asked, her attention peaked.
No one said anything. They all knew that Xana was Hestia's close friend. How could they tell her?
"Well, who is it?" Hestia asked. She looked into the dismayed eyes of everyone there, and began to catch on. Her jaw dropped. "No, no, no. Xana wouldn't do something like that! I made her promise! I made her promise…"
Ziva put a hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry. Xana was looking for revenge and got it… But on the wrong person." She said somberly.
Hestia narrowed her eyes. "No… Xana? Xana… she…" Hestia closed her eyes. "Five years? No… She wouldn't…" Xana was not the person Hestia thought she knew… She was no better than El Diablo. She wouldn't let Xana become another El Diablo… She knew she had to turn in her friend- her big sister.
