"Chief, you don't have to go to the morgue. We can handle this. No one is going to think anything's wrong. Agent Howard getting home after being gone what, nearly three months is a pretty darn good reason to take the rest of the day off."
"Just drive David…Please." Brenda stared out the window, feeling detached from everything happening around her. Her phone started ringing but she ignored it.
"Chief is that your phone?"
"Yes."
"Well aren't you going to answer it?"
"No." Brenda recognized the ring, it was Andrew. At the moment that was one problem too many. She recognized she was stretched to the limit and if she attempted to add one more problem she wasn't going to snap she was going to shatter.
/
Dr. Morales was sitting in the corridor when they arrived. His eyes were red and he made no attempt to hide the fact he had been crying. "Chief Johnson, Detective Sergeant Gabriel, if you don't mind I'm going to give you my report from here. Please…. Have a seat." He handed her a file.
"Y'all are done all ready? That was fast." Brenda said as she took the file.
"No mystery as to cause of death Chief Johnson. Both victims had their sculls crushed."
"Were you able to determine a weapon?"
He closed his eyes and nodded. "You are looking for either a very disturbed youth or a small woman. Foot print is very clear."
"You mean someone….?" Gabriel couldn't finish the question.
"Stomped on the back of their heads? Yes that is what I'm saying. Both victims are female. Victim one between six and seven months and victim two appears to be approximately twenty six months old. Sisters, I believe. Hispanic. It's all in the report. I know you always feel you have to see the body, Chief Johnson, but I'm telling you, just this once, don't. The photos alone are enough to give you nightmares."
"Just this once I'll follow your advice. Thank yew doctor." Brenda gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "Thank yew very much."
Gabriel was driving back to the station when her phone began ringing again. "Are you ever going to answer that?"
"Later." As they moved slowly through the heavy down town traffic, Brenda replayed what Fritz had said again and again. Kissing you is like kissing a bottle of wine. Do you ever once think of how difficult you make it for me to stay sober? Kissing you is like kissing a bottle of wine, kissing you is like kissing a bottle of wine….. It was a loop that wouldn't stop.
"Chief you all right? You sure you don't want to go home. I can take the report in."
"No I'm fine. Just thinking."
/
By midnight they had the case wrapped up. It was all too horribly simple. Sanchez and Tao had a confession before ever getting back to the squad. "These two chicks, Gina and Lupe were fighting over some punk ass gang banger named Ricky. He's screwing around with both of them and Gina wants to have him all to herself."
Tao adds, "But Ricky won't dump Lupe because they have two kids."
"Yeah so this crazy ass bitch Gina freaks out and kills the kids. Can you believe it chief? "
"And it looks like we got to her just in time. Ricky was pulling up with a car full of his fellow gang members to deal with her. Not sure if it wouldn't have been better if we were a little less efficient on this one Chief. Talk about your fifty one- fifty." Flynn added.
"Well Lt as we have all learned, allowing some of our more illustrious members of the community to deal with problems as they see fit is not always the best course of action. Good work y'all. Now go on home. I'll see y'all in the morning."
Brenda stalled in her office as long as she could. She had to go home sooner or later and she was ready to drop she was so tired. She came out of her office to find Flynn waiting for her. "I'll walk you down to your car."
She nodded and walked to the elevators. Letting out a heavy sigh she said, "I appreciate that y'all found her and were able to close all this up so….. I… wouldn't have to talk to her Lt."
"Sure chief I for one am glad this is closed. She was one sick bitch." He wanted to talked to her about other things, but he knew he had no right.
Flynn was only able to hold his peace until they were in the elevator. "I hear Agent Howard is home. How did he take the news?"
Brenda stared at the floor. "What news?" lost in thought she really wasn't paying attention to the question.
"What news? The baby, that's what news. So you haven't told him yet? Bren what are you waiting for?"
Blinking rapidly to hold back her tears she answered, "On the way to the morgue to look at dead babies didn't feel like the right time." Kissing you is like kissing a bottle of wine.
The doors slid open and they stepped out passing several officers. Flynn waited until they were outside before speaking. "Please don't cry. I didn't mean to yell. Really. It's just …. This case. Those little kids. I can't help thinking of my kids. And … how I'd feel…. Or… what I'd do if anything ever happened to them." Flynn fought the impulse to put his arm around her as they walked to their cars.
"It's alright Andy I'm not going to cry. And even if I did it wouldn't be because of you. Like you said… this case….." She let her words trail away no need to finish. Brenda was glad Flynn was still there when she was ready to leave. It felt good having him near. That thought almost made her smile, feeling good to have Lt Andy Flynn close.
He held her door as she got in, "See you tomorrow?"
Brenda didn't answer at once. "I'm not sure."
Nodding Flynn closed her door and walked away.
/
Brenda took her time driving home, still hurting badly over Fritz's comments. She walked into the house to find boxes scattered around the living room. He'd spent the day packing. He was going. Whether it was with or without her was up to Brenda, he had made that clear.
Brenda walked into the dining room and dropped her black bag on the table next to Fritz's brief case. It was open and sitting on top of the papers was his airline ticket. His flight was leaving at midnight, she looked at the clock; it was after midnight, tonight.
Sticking out from under his passport and other personal legal papers was a file folder containing documents with her name on them. She reached for them as she sank into the chair. There was no need to read them really, she knew without looking what they said. After his silence over the last few months, taking a job without ever mentioning it to her, the awful things he had said to her this morning, the divorce papers were not a surprise. Brenda had done a lot of thinking since Fritz left. If she were honest she'd have to say Fritz was justified about his feelings and his comments were accurate. He had cut throw the bullshit and scored a direct hit.
He had told her once that he worried her job was more important he was. She had told him it wasn't, but her actions made her words hollow. She ignored the harm she had caused him with the FBI, expected him to swallow his pride and be happy with it. And wash all her feelings away with a glass or more often than not a bottle of Merlo. If he hadn't been assigned the Abu Dhabi case they may have gone on as they had been for months possibly years.
But he had gone to Abu Dhabi and the time away had allowed Fritz an uncluttered view of where he stood with her.
She scanned the papers. He asked for nothing but what he came in with… and Joel. Joel, sweet little Joel. It was fair, Joel was his cat. He had picked him up at a rescue shelter as a gift to her, to help her deal with the loss of Kitty. And how did she repay him for thinking of her? She hadn't wanted sweet little Joel and told Fritz to take him back. The words blurred.
She reached into her bag and pulled out a handkerchief, a plain white square of cloth, and wiped her eyes. It didn't carry his scent anymore, not since she had laundered it. Brenda had fully intended to return it to Flynn but hadn't found the right moment….. Liar! She thought. I don't want to give it back.
Brenda flipped though the papers, placing her initials next to Fritz's and signed the last page as he had done. Setting down her pen she waited, for the pain, the regret, the sorrow that comes with a love dying, a future lost, with failure.
Brenda walked into the kitchen and opened a cupboard. She removed the prescription bottles she tucked away after Flynn and Sanchez had left and dropped them into her black bag. The note she left on top of the signed papers was short and simple. Dear Fritz, I'm sorry. Brenda.
Holding Joel, she picked up her keys and placed her bag on her shoulder. At the door she gave him a hug and scratched under his chin the way he liked, them put his down and closed the door softly behind her.
The sound of the front door opening had awakened Fritz. He lay in bed waiting for Brenda to come in and say …..something. But she didn't. He lay there listening to her cry. He heard the front door close and knew it was over. She wasn't going to fight with him; she wasn't going to fight for him. He walked into the dining room where the divorce papers sat in the middle of the table, signed, along with her five word note.
