Chapter eight
'Soon' turned out to be weeks away. As Emma wiled away her Christmas break almost entirely solo, Regina seemed to be at a never-ending barrage of family events and work conferences, so they hardly spoke. Texts fluttered between them like the last leaves falling off a tree, and by the time the new semester started, Emma was convinced that Regina had gone off her altogether.
Except, on only her second day back in classes, Emma was sitting in the department cafeteria doing some studying when Regina herself plonked down beside her. Emma looked up, her chest almost bursting at the sight of her. "Oh! Hi."
"Happy New Year, Miss Swan," Regina said, beaming back at her. "Did you have a nice break?"
Glancing around them, Emma couldn't help but notice the dozens of empty tables that Regina could have chosen to sit at if she'd wanted to. "It was okay. Nothing special. How was yours?"
"It was hell. I'm very glad to be back," Regina said. She looked like she meant it – her cheeks had an excited flush to them, and she was smiling at Emma so brightly that Emma's heart just about melted.
"Anyway," Regina said, crossing her legs. "I didn't mean to disturb you. I just wanted to ask if you'd be free to discuss your term paper tomorrow."
She was still smiling, and Emma caught the lie immediately: their grades were already being processed. There was no discussion to be had.
"Sure," she said out loud. "What time?"
"Come to my office at six?"
"Sounds good. I'll be there."
"Perfect," Regina said, flashing Emma her most winning smile. She left then, and Emma's entire body went hot and prickly. She could totally wait those 24 hours without going crazy. She could.
When she arrived at Regina's office the next evening, Emma's heart was pounding and her palms were sweating and she had an anxious tic beneath one eye. She'd barely slept again, and it had been virtually impossible to get through the day's classes without having a complete nervous breakdown.
But she'd made it to the promised land nonetheless, and she knocked on the door as casually as possible. Regina called for her to come in, and Emma slipped into the room with her vision swimming.
"Hey," she said. Regina was sitting behind her desk, but as soon as Emma walked inside, she stood up.
"Hi," she replied. She was wearing a white button-down shirt tucked into a high-waisted black skirt, and there was a mischievous glimmer in her eye. "I'm glad you could make it. Would you mind closing the door?"
Emma had already let it fall shut behind her, but she turned to make sure it was firmly clicked into place.
Regina must have moved like water, because Emma didn't notice her approaching until she turned back to find her inches away, her gaze fixed unashamedly on Emma's slightly open mouth.
"I missed you over the break," she said, and Emma immediately felt her body start to disintegrate.
"Me too."
Emma had a single second to notice that the blinds were shut and the lights were slightly dimmed, and then Regina was stepping forward, closing the gap between them and forcing Emma up against the door. Emma dropped her bag and wound her arms around Regina's neck, pulling her close against her so she could feel the contours of their bodies moulding together.
Emma had reminisced about every second of their first kiss a hundred times over during the winter break, and somehow this one already seemed even better. Regina felt looser, more certain, and her hands weren't afraid to stray from Emma's jaw down to her shoulders and then further down to her hips. She moaned softly against Emma's lips and pushed her harder, pinning her against the wood with the full weight of her body. Emma wriggled happily, feeling the delicious pressure of Regina's hips forced up against her own, and slid her fingers through Regina's hair. It was soft and glossy and so utterly grabbable, and when Emma clenched a fist in it, Regina whimpered.
"Too much?" Emma whispered, but Regina was already shaking her head.
"Do it again."
Emma complied, gripping a handful of hair and using it to tilt Regina's head back. Once her throat was exposed, Emma leaned in and gently kissed it, not daring to leave any marks in case someone saw them later but nibbling at the skin with her tongue occasionally flicking out against her pulse point in a way that made Regina's entire body tremble.
Eventually releasing her hair once more, Emma slid her hands down the front of Regina's body and settled them on the high waist of her skirt. Her stomach was toned and so deliciously warm that Emma had a hard time resisting the urge to drop to her knees and nuzzle her face against it. Instead, she settled for easing the bottom of Regina's blouse out of the waistband and slipping her hand beneath it. As she stroked her abdomen with her thumb, she felt Regina sigh against her. A second later, Regina was diving forward and capturing Emma's mouth once more.
There was something about the way that Regina kissed that made Emma's knees go weak. She managed to be fierce and tender and demanding and soft all at once, and whenever her tongue flicked through Emma's mouth, she swore she could see stars. Sliding her hand further round Regina's body, she pulled hard on her lower back until they were rearing up against the door once more, Regina's leg thrust between Emma's thighs and her hands pinning her hips to the wood. Emma caught Regina's bottom lip between her teeth just so she could hear her moan again, and then let her hands drop from Regina's waist down to where her skirt ended just above her knees.
"Emma," Regina panted when she felt the fabric being pulled up. "We shouldn't."
Emma paused, her lips still hovering over Regina's. "You don't want…?"
"No. I do," Regina insisted, resting a hand momentarily on the flat space just above Emma's chest, where Emma knew she would be able to feel exactly how hard her heart was pounding. "I just don't… I don't think we should. Not here."
With a sigh, Emma released Regina's skirt and wound her arms around her waist instead. She hugged her tight against her body and murmured against the corner of her mouth, "Are you sure you're not just trying to kill me?"
Regina chuckled. "Oh, I am. But not with this."
"Can I at least kiss you again?"
"I'll be extremely angry at you if you don't," Regina said, tilting her chin up. Emma dove forward and caught her mouth at once, trying to ignore the urgent throbbing between her legs and the way that her thighs were slightly shaky. She appreciated that Regina was being sensible, she really did, and she was glad that one of them had the good sense to at least try and take this thing slowly. But she also wanted to say fuck it; to wind her entire body around Regina's and let them both just get completely lost in this. There was an ache coursing through her body that she'd never felt before, and it was pounding all the way from her chest down to the very tiniest nerve endings in the tips of her fingers.
Regina moaned against her, her chest crushing up against Emma's, and Emma couldn't help herself. She slid her hands between their bodies and sought out Regina's breasts. When she found them, she squeezed.
Regina went totally still. Her head fell forward and landed on Emma's shoulder, and she froze like someone had hit the standby button on her brain.
"Emma," she whimpered. There was a thick tremor of desire in her voice, and it made Emma's panties flood instantly. "Please."
"Please stop?" Emma asked. She could feel the peaks of Regina's nipples through her shirt, and she twitched her thumbs against them. "Or please keep going?"
Regina released a sigh that quivered and begged. "I don't… I don't know."
But Emma knew what that meant – it meant she wanted her to stop, except she didn't really. What she really wanted was for Emma to rip her shirt off and then fuck her until she couldn't remember where she was. Her entire body was trembling and she suddenly felt so small, so uncertain, that it took every ounce of self-restraint that Emma possessed to gently push her away.
"Let's press pause."
Regina groaned with a mixture of relief and disappointment. "Okay."
Emma could tell that her hair must be a knotted mess from where Regina's hands had been delving through it, and she reached up to smooth it down. Regina watched the movement, her eyes hungry and dark.
Emma hesitated.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked uncertainly. "I thought you wanted to stop."
Regina sighed. "Yes, I do. But I also want to fuck you for the next 12 hours, so I'm just taking a moment to calm down."
Emma nearly slid down the door in shock.
"Oh."
The smirk that immediately tweaked at Regina's lips did absolutely nothing to help matters. "I do love it when you get that expression on your face."
"What expression is that?" Emma asked, even though she knew full well what she must look like at that moment.
Regina reached out and grazed her thumb over Emma's hopelessly agape lower lip. "Ever so shocked."
Emma glared at her. "I'm not shocked. I'm not some kind of virgin."
"I didn't think you were. But you still look incredibly startled whenever I say a curse word."
Blushing furiously, Emma admitted, "It's actually more the fact that I can't believe you want to do those things with me."
"Oh, come on," Regina purred, happy to have the upper hand again. She stroked Emma's cheek and softened when Emma melted into her touch. "Don't act so surprised. You're beautiful."
"Okay, but you're…" Emma choked out, and it was impossible to finish that sentence without making a fool of herself. "You're gorgeous and sophisticated and smart and… you're my professor."
Regina was watching her amusedly. "Yes, well done for noticing."
"I'm serious," Emma sighed. "Why are you even interested? This isn't allowed, right?"
They'd finally landed on the thing that neither one of them wanted to talk about, and Regina pulled back from Emma with a sigh.
"No, it's not allowed," she said softly. "The school can be lenient about things like this provided that I don't give you any special favours or treat you any differently to the other students, but that would usually only be the case if I just worked for the college and I wasn't actually your professor. The fact that I teach you once a week complicates matters."
"Well. I could drop your class," Emma suggested half-heartedly. Regina was already waving a hand.
"It's too late for that," she said. "If they got wind of any of this, we'd already be in trouble. Besides, you've put in a full semester of work and I'm not going to wreck that just because I turn into a horny teenager whenever you're around."
Emma snorted at that. "Not like any horny teenager I've ever met."
"Emma," Regina said wistfully. "The truth is, I don't really know what to do. The sensible thing would be for us to stop this and just… be normal. But I'm not sure I can do it."
She sounded so apologetic, and it broke Emma's heart. She tentatively reached out a hand so she could squeeze Regina's fingers.
"Look," she said. "Clearly I don't want to stop anything – but it's also not really my call. It's your job that's at risk, not mine, and so if you say we should stop this, then we will. And I'll understand."
Regina looked disorientatingly relieved about that. "You're very mature, you know."
"I can guarantee you that's the first time anyone's ever said that about me."
That made Regina chuckle again, and for a second Emma thought she was about to agree: she thought she was about to say okay, you're right. Let's stop this before it goes too far.
But instead, she took a step forward and kissed Emma hard on her lips. When she pulled away, it was with a grateful sigh.
"I don't want to stop," she murmured. "But we need to be careful."
Emma nodded at once. "Okay."
"Which means I need you to leave now before I rip your shirt off."
Blinking wildly, Emma pulled back from her. "What?"
"Get out," Regina said, turning away and walking back to her desk. "If you come near me again, I'm going to explode."
Emma probably shouldn't have been so smug about that, but she could feel herself grinning. "Okay – maybe you are a little like a horny teenager."
Regina glared at her as she sat back down behind her desk. "Not funny."
"Are you moody because you've got blue balls?"
"Don't be so disgusting. Just leave."
"When will I see you again?"
"Soon," Regina said, slumping down in her chair with a sigh. "In class on Thursday, at least."
"And then?"
"Soon," Regina repeated dully. "I can't think right now."
"Alright. I'll go," Emma said, picking her bag up off the floor. She turned to leave, then paused. "Are you going to start touching yourself as soon as I'm gone?"
Regina just looked flatly back at her, deadpan and unimpressed but not giving her an answer either way. Emma laughed and reached for the door handle.
"I'll see you soon then, Professor Mills."
"Get the hell out of my office, Miss Swan."
