Horrified screams echoed through the house while irregular footfalls raced down the hallway. The door to the master bedroom flew open to reveal a tangled mess of sheets trapping a beautiful, tortured blonde. She kicked and flailed, fighting invisible demons, screaming for help, calling for him, with tears cascading down her pale skin. A hand reached out in the darkness to wrestle the fabric ties away from her body before taking her into a pair of strong arms and whispering reassurances in her ear.
Carol awoke with a start, heart pounding, and screamed once more, startled by the man holding her still. She whipped her head around, relief flooding her eyes when she recognized Ben's familiar features, laced with concern. Taking slow, deep breaths, she leaned back against him, trying to slow the blood racing through her veins. Her head and throat ached, her ears ringing, and her face damp with sweat and tears. His fingertips ran up and down her arm softly, his warm voice repeating promises of being safe now, never alone, never leave her again. A tender kiss to the back of her head and her eyes slipped shut. She needed him more than she wanted to admit to herself. There was no living without him anymore.
"Ben", her voiced sounded so weak, so helpless, to her ears.
"Yes?"
"Will you stay here, with me?"
"Of course; I wouldn't dream of leaving you now."
"I don't mean just tonight," she looked up at him, "I mean, the whole time you're here. I just can't be alone right now. I feel so much better when you're here."
He grinned. "Anything for you."
"How did I get so lucky?" her voice was barely above a whisper.
"I'm the one who gets to sleep with a beautiful woman."
She chuckled. "It sounds dirty when you put it like that."
"I know."
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?" he asked, his brow furrowing in an adorable way, so she couldn't help but smile.
"Make me forget about how upset I was in less than a minute."
"I'm just irresistibly witty."
"And so modest."
"Yes, that too. I have many winning qualities."
"Should we get some sleep before your head gets too big for the pillow?"
He kissed her forehead. "That is a very good idea."
She snuggled into his chest and he draped an arm over her body, keeping her close.
"Thank you Ben."
"Like I said: anything for you."
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Carol loved waking up next to Ben. She always had, since the very first time he stayed over on the night that Tucker left. He was always awake before her, but he never made a sound or a movement, never roused her. He would just lay there and watch her, wait for the moment she opened her eyes, and give her that dazzling, boyish smile. His ice blue eyes were so bright in the early morning sun. Then he would always brush her hair back from her face and say 'good morning' in a tone that told you it would be a good day. This morning was no different, except that he allowed his fingers to linger on her cheek after releasing her hair. She couldn't look away from him and for a moment she was sure he knew, sure he could feel it flowing from her, sure he felt her pulse quicken with his touch, but then he withdrew his hand, and the moment was gone. She was beginning to accept that she very well may never tell him, just simply living forever in this limbo where she pushed the line of friendship without ever setting foot on the other side.
"Carol?" he was giving her a funny look.
"Hmm?"
"I asked if you wanted the shower first."
Smooth Carol, very smooth. She blushed inadvertently. "Oh, sorry, no you go ahead."
She tried not to let her eyes wander south as he walked away from her, but quickly failed. Rubbing her face, she shook her head vigorously. What had gotten into her? She was acting like a lovesick teenager.
Burying her face in the pillow, she did her best to let the sound of the running water lull her back to sleep, but it was no use. Her mind kept drifting back to Ben; how it felt to be in his arms, his scent, how sweet he looked when he smiled, how his lips felt against hers. She had forgotten how torturous love could be. But if she told him and he didn't feel the same, surely that would be even worse. Then the lazy mornings in bed would become awkward, the jokes about strip poker and kisses to her forehead would disappear, everything would change. If it was between having Ben as nothing more than a friend and not having him at all, she would always choose him.
His voice startled her. "It's all yours."
She hadn't even heard him turn the shower off. Rolling onto her back, she opened her eyes and let out a little squeak. There stood Ben, gleaming under a thin layer of water, wearing nothing but a towel.
"What?" he asked, looking at her quizzically. "Do I need to adjust my towel or something?"
"No!" she blurted, immediately blushing again. "No, it's great, I mean fine! It's fine. It's… it's fine", she stammered lamely, fervently wishing for a hole to open up in the centre of the mattress and swallow her whole.
He looked suspicious. "Okay then."
She nodded meekly and dashed into the bathroom, safe from further embarrassment behind the locked door.
This was a disaster. He'd been in her house for one night yet she was already a complete mess. And now she was holding herself hostage in her own bathroom. She made a mental note to smack herself the next time she came up with a plan like this. The air in the tiny room was hot and thick with humid steam, making her clothes feel damp. Even worse, the entire room was filled with the arousing smell of his aftershave, toying with her desires. She undressed slowly, fighting to ignore her body's reactions to his lingering presence. A plethora of inappropriate thoughts and urges raced through her mind, but she maintained a firm resolve, biting down on her lip until she drew blood. Starting the water, she stepped into the pressured stream, tilting her head back as it poured over her sensitized skin. She could even feel his hands running over her body, touching all the right places, moving lower and lower still… Her eyes snapped open as she realized it was her own hands she was feeling. No, no, no, she was not going to do this. Absolutely not. Not while she was having these thoughts of her best friend, not while he was in the next room… drying off… getting changed… no! No, Carol, no. Not only was the subject within earshot, but her kids were in the house. But then maybe… maybe if she just took the edge off, she might find it easier to be around him. She was treading on dangerous territory now, but her body was aching for more, and she was simply too weak to resist.
TBC
