Disclaimer: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden and everything related is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and other people whom I know nothing about. I own only a can of cool whip, a pair of headphones, a cucumber and some vaseline.

"KUCHYIOSE: EDO TENSEI! (Summoning: Impure world ressurection)"

A thick miasma, tinged with the scent of death and decay, spread through a large sector of the forest of death. A figure watched with excitment and trepidation as a pair of coffins slowly rose from the ground, displacing dirt and grass alike. The animals felt the instinctual fear of death and kept as far away from that zone as possible, but that would help with his goals.

The lids of the coffins unlatched with a wooden cracking sound and the figure instantly went through a slew of handsigns, activating a chakra suppression barrier, which was a necessity given what he was doing.

Plumes of smoke were flowing out of the coffins, obscuring the view, but a pair of voices emerged from them - alongside a massive feeling of crushing pressure.

"Oh, Tobirama. It seems we've been brought back through the use of that technique of yours" Came the voice of Senju Hashirama, one of the founders, and first Hokage, of the Village of Konoha, the defeater of Uchiha Madara, strongest shinobi in history and the first to ever achieve the title of God of Shinobi after the Sage of The Six Paths. He wore a red armor which covered his torso in an uniform manner, and his shoulders and thighs through the mean of interconnected plates. He wore a black suit underneath, the same colour as his back-long Hair. He spoke casually, as if the concept of being called from death were nothing but a minor inconvenience, but with how strong he was, it might have just been.

"Indeed, brother. And our summoner seems to be an odd one."

Said summoner watched both men eagerly, his cerulean blue eyes lighting up in admiration. His blonde hair, as always, was spiked, his skin was tan and his face sported three whisker marks on each cheek. It was an 8 year old Naruto Uzumaki.

Tobirama continued speaking "I would like to know how a child came upon the knowledge of such a dangerous, and forbidden, technique. And for what purpose he would have used it."

Naruto steeled himself before speaking, which was difficult seen as simply being next to the two men had caused many older than him to collapse or be rendered mute "I saw the technique in the forbidden scroll."

"Hmm" Hashirama sounded, while Tobirama watched the child intently. "You are awfully young, child, to have the understanding, much less the power to perform a technique of this caliber. Or, at least it would seem like it, but since we're here, I'm not so sure."

Tobirama spoke up next "Still, you have stolen jutsu, forbidden jutsu, based on human sacrifice, from the village of Konoha and you used it to summon the first two Hokage? That decision seems... Unwise."

The moment he said unwise, his right pinky twitched, and the pressure and sheer killing intent that filled the clearing they were in sent Naruto to his knees. His breathing was labored, and consisted of short, desperate gulps interspersed with coughs. Tears instinctually sprang to his eyes, and he was quivering, but Naruto promised he would not cry again. He would not be weak again. He did things with a purpose, and this reaction from the Nidaime was expected. In response he retaliated by pushing out as much Chakra and killing intent of his own that he could, slightly easing his burden and allowing him to breathe normally, though just barely.

Tobirama's eyebrow raised in surprise, he could say he was honestly impressed with this child, but it was possibly a traitor. A powerful one at that. He had to be taken down for the good of the village. As his wrist twitched...

"Tobirama, drop that finger of yours."

Hashirama's own Aura flared to life, and though it was directed towards his brother and supposed to quell his, it didn't make things easier for Naruto. It only showed him the difference between true shinobi, and the pitiful things of the present.

Hashirama and Tobirama locked gazes for a few tense seconds, seemingly having a conversation before Tobirama huffed and dropped his finger, causing his killer intent to disappear completely. Hashirama retracted his own, before turning to Naruto and giving him a kind smile.

"Tell us your story, child. What lead you to copying this technique from the scroll, what lead you to be this strong, what lead you to revive us."

Naruto shakily stood up, his eyes darkening slightly as he prepared to speak, which was noticed by both Hashirama and Tobirama, eliciting an internal frown from the god of shinobi. Children were not supposed to have this type of darkness.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm the Jinchuuriki of Kyuubi no Kitsune..."

- Wave Country -

Naruto woke up with a start. He hadn't had that dream, well, memory really, in quite a long time. Perhaps it was the loss of his eye, who knows. After a quick shower he made his way downstairs to find everybody having breakfast. All eyes turned to him, focused directly on his missing eye. Inari pointed at him and spoke in a victorious, yet still somber tone "See! You tried to defy Gato, and lost your eye! If you keep trying, you'll lose your lives!"

Naruto ignored Inari, sitting down on an empty chair and getting himself some food to eat. The table was silent and tense as each person had their own set of thoughts.

Haku was blaming herself for Naruto getting hurt.

Kakashi was blaming himself for not being there to protect Naruto, despite being his sensei.

Sakura was scared, terrified even of suffering a fate similar to Naruto based on what he said the previous night.

Sasuke was worried. He knew Naruto was no pushover, he was present during the genin exam. He pushed Kakashi and almost killed him a handful of times, is extremely stealthy, devious and cunning. An enemy that forced him to retreat would, currently, kill him easily, as much as it hurt him to admit it.

Zabuza was thinking about the best way to deal with Gato without making him suspicious or spillling the beans.

A metaphorical raincloud was hanging over the table, and it was making Tazuna and Tsunami nervous.

"Didn't you hear me? I said you were gonna die!"

Naruto ignored him, leisurely enjoying his fried fish .

"I knew you were stupid, but I didn't think you were-"

"Shut up, kid. I'm Uzumaki fucking Naruto, and no half-pint is going to be the death of me. This might sound cruel towards Wave and for that I apologize, but Gato is simply a big fish in a small pond. If he tried to pull this kind of shit somewhere else he'd already be dead, and I'm going to make sure that happens."

Inari slammed both hands on the table as he spoke "Small pond? You have no idea what you're talking about! Living your cushy, comfortable lives back in your villages, you don't know what suffering is!"

Naruto's lazily half-lidded eye snapped open and focused fully on Inari. He started giggling, which turned into chuckling before turning into full blown laugher.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DON'T KNOW SUFFER- OH GOD KID YOU'RE HILARIOUS!"

Just as fast as it came, his laughter passed, leaving only a cold, angry look in his eye, his tone glacial "Let me tell you the story of a little blond boy. Said blonde lived in a prosperous village, with good commerce, enough resources, and for all intents and purposes one of the strongest and wealthiest in the world, yet he lived in poverty. He was orphaned at birth and placed in an orphanage. The caretakers ignored and abused him as much as they possibly could, the older children were cruel towards him because they never got in trouble with the caretakers. Said child barely got enough to eat, had to teach himself to write, read and count and to survive. He was kicked out of the orphanage at 5 and told to fend for himself, living an entire year on the streets, rummaging through trash just get a proper meal every two days. The villagers which were usually kind and friendly turned scornful and cold as soon as he appeared. Children were told not to play with him, taught to hate him. After one year in the streets, the person who was supposed to protect him finally found the time to do something for him. Gave him an appartment, leaving a 6 year old fending for himself living alone."

The more he spoke, the colder his tone got. Haku had tears in her eyes, Kakashi's eye was downcast in sorrow, and not a small amount of regret. Zabuza was angry, Sasuke surprised, Tsunami and Tazuna horrified at the tale, and Sakura was incredulous.

"Said 6 year old had to deal with people constantly defacing his appartment, breaking in to destroy his things, being overcharged or straight up denied access to stores, and the occasional life-threatening beating. He was enrolled in the shinobi academy a few years later where the majority of the instructors did their best to keep him from succeeding, stunting and hindering his growth. Finding any possible reason, real or otherwise, to have him leave class just before something important was taught, always having his questions ignored, being given the worst class materials possible, and even being given fake lessons just as further sabotage. Does this child not know suffering?"

Inari was static, tears filling his eyes as he heard the tale.

"Believe me, it does. But did it give up? Become a whiny bitch, hung up on the negatives of life, doing their best to spread misery to others, disregarding a loving parent and grandparent? No. This child endured. This child worked hard, and smart. It hid it's potential, acted stupid, made sure he was seen as a clown, a laughing stock, all the while getting as strong, and as smart as it could. And nowadays, this child is trying to help others so they don't have to live the same life of suffering as he did, but has to deal with exactly the type of people he hates the most, those who take things for granted. So please, Inari, always remember. No matter how bad things are for you, there's always someone worse than you. If that person doesn't give up, then what right do you have to?"

Before anyone could say anything else, Naruto stood up from the table "I'll be collecting info on Gato. Later." before disappearing in a sunshin.

Sakura turned to her teacher "Kakashi-sensei, Naruto was lying, right? There's no way the people in Konoha are that evil! Plus, no one can live like that and act dumb and happy for years straight, it's impossible!"

Kakashi sighed before answering "No, Sakura. Unfortunately everything he said was the absolute truth."

That declaration got sobs from Tsunami and Haku, Zabuza was shaking in rage at the level of cruelty a child had been subjected to, Sasuke was pensive and Inari ran away in tears, locking himself in his room.

- Flashback -

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi."

Hashirama and Tobirama's eyes widened at that, but Hashirama spoke first "A blond haired Uzumaki? Are you Tsunade-chan's child? Grandchild?"

"No, Hashirama-sama. My parents were Uzumaki Kushina, second Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and... Namizake Minato, fourth Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato."

Tobirama spoke up at that "Fourth? Does that mean that Sarutobi..."

"No, he's still alive, and currently in charge. Well, somewhat."

Hashirama hmm'ed before Tobirama spoke "What do you mean? If there's a fourth, then why is the third in service? Explain."

"When I was born, the fox got free from my mother. My father sacrificed himself to seal the fox in me, but both of them died and asked for me to be seen as a hero that protects the village. The third decided that the best course of action was to tell everybody that the same thing that devastaded much of the village and killed thousands was sealed in a defenseless, orphaned child, while hiding my heritage out of fear of my parent's enemies."

Hashirama winced while Tobirama scowled at that "Let me guess, things didn't go quite as your father expected."

Naruto's eyes went darker at that "You could say that, yes."

Hashirama sighed "Kushi-chan's own child..."

Tobirama turned towards Hashirama "Kushi-chan?"

"Yes, me and Mito's grand-niece. She was Itama-otouto's daughter, with Uzumaki Kikyo, Mito's younger sister."

"Itama had children? Why wasn't I made aware of this?"

Hashirama sighed heavily at that "The Uchiha were aiming for him heavily. He wanted to protect his love and child, and he did by keeping it a secret from all but the head of the Senju clan at the time, me. Since he died at the hands of the Uchiha, it seems that his fears were justified" before his gaze returned to Naruto and he sighed again "Me and Mito's own blood, son of a former Hokage, mistreated by the villagers because of their blind hatred and the bad choices of the third. I am disappointed in Saru, and in the village itself, if they did what I think they did to a child. Any child."

Tobirama gave Naruto a dangerous look "So, you seek revenge on the village, then?"

Naruto shook his head "No, not at all. I wish to make my own village, where everybody is family. Where no one has to live like me, in misery and suffering, where help is always a door away and where hatred and ignorance do not dictate people's actions. In order to do that, I must become strong, so that I may protect my ideals, my precious people, and later, my village."

Naruto sat in Seiza before bowing deeply, his forehead touching the ground "So please teach me, Grand-uncle Hashirama, Great-uncle Tobirama..."

- Flashback End -

Naruto had transformed himself into a 6' tall man, long, black hair hanging limply from his scalp, an eyepatch on his left eye and a small blade at his side. His clothes were somewhat ratty, consisting of a worn and fraying dull green jacket, a pair of blue pants and straw sandals. He made his way into a dimly lit bar, filled with the smells of drink and smoke, the sounds of rowdy conversation and fighting reaching the street. His current appearance made him right at home where he was.

Sitting down at the bar he asked for the strongest cheap drink they had. Drinking down three glasses of the same thing in less than 3 minutes, he found himself flanked by two other thugs on the bar counter. The one on the left was bald, with a x-shaped scar on his head, his height at 5'2. He was squat and thickly built, though whether it was muscle or fat was hard to see in the darkness of the bar. On his right was a man with short, brown hair that seemingly hasn't been combed ever, a scruffy 5'oclock shade on his face, bloodshot eyes and a collection of facial scars consistent with a screwdriver. The three of them looked between eachother, giving a nod of acknowledging before returning to their drinks.

Naruto powered through 4 more of the watered-down booze he was being fed, and as he asked for another one the barman started speaking "Damn, haven't seen someone drink so much Chakuzo so fast without falling to the side."

"I don't really care about your life stories" Naruto's henge said in a gruff tone "I just care about your booze."

The man on the left spoke up, his voice was gravely and sounded more like a constant growl "Bad day?"

Naruto's henge scoffed "More like bad month. Haven't found work in a while. I've been living on the cash I lift from people walking the highways. Between that and managing the money I've rarely had the time or the chance to have some quick fun with the ladies, or a drink that doesn't taste like carbonated piss."

The man on the right eyed him for a while, twirling the liquid his own glass before chugging it down at once, then turned to face Naruto "What's your name?"

The Henge'd Naruto answered with no hesitation "Akegane Koushi"

"Well, Akegane, you could always join my band. We're currently working for a man named Gato, he's stinkin' rich and pays well enough for proper booze. He even gives us girls as a bonus if we do a proper job."

'Koushi' raised his glass to that, speaking with a slight slurr "I don't care about the specifics as long as I can have my fun."

The brown-haired man nodded towards the door "Good. We can take you towards the camp and get you introduced to the boss. By the way, name's Komushi, and baldie over there is Haito."

Slamming back their drinks simultaneously, the three men left the bar after slamming some crumpled bills on the counter, heading towards the bandit headquartes.

- With Zabuza and Haku -

The pair had been walking silently for a while. Naruto's tale hit too close to home for both, for Haku it was her childhood as a bloodline holder, and for Zabuza it was watching his good friend and Mizukage Yagura plunge his country into a bloody civil war and seeing the misery and pain that resulted from that.

They had just left their hideout after clearing it of gear before heading towards Gato's HQ to have a talk with the midget. The two of them completely bypassed security - well, as much security as could be provided by thugs and the occasional ronin - and emerged directly inside Gato's office, with the midget being none-the-wiser.

"Gato."

Zabuza's voice startled the man, causing him to fall off his rotating chair with a girly squeal before rounding on them. His fright changed into anger as soon as he saw the figures of Zabuza and his masked companion.

"Zabuza, I promised you good money to kill the bridge-builder. You told me that those demon brother people were capable of taking care of it, but they failed. Now, after you told me you'd personally deal with him, I hear that the construction of the bruidge is still procceeding and Tazuna is as far away from dead as I am from poor. So, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!?"

Zabuza narrowed his eyes at Gato while Haku released some killing intent. She was fighting the reflex of just killing Gato then and there and instead trusting on Naruto's plan.

"Do not speak to me like that, Gato. And do not doubt my word, or my skills. I ran into some problems on the way to dealing with the builder, but I'll have him dead by the end of the week. I want that paycheck, and I am going to get it. Understand?"

Gato gulped and nodded once before Haku and Zabuza made their way out his office. As soon as they were alone Zabuza made three water clones "You have enough chakra to last at least 45 minutes each, maybe more. Split up and map the HQ with his office as the refference point. Keep a lookout for any hidden safes or deposits, passages and the sort. Draw with as much precision as you can, and make sure to burn the scrolls before you dispell." After that he gave each of them a long scroll and pencil and they scattered. Looking at Haku, both nodded before vanishing in a blur of speed.

- Tazuna's home -

Kakashi's shadow clone watched as the large scroll that was pinned to the wall of the room he was in started being filled in with schematics and drawings. Different sections were drawn at the same time, revealing the basic layout of Gato's HQ. "Man, the work that Naruto does with seals is amazing."

Thinking about his blonde student he sighed in sorrow. He failed his teacher and Kushina, but not for a lack of trying. Whenever he tried adopting Naruto, his attempts were blocked by the civilian council. He tried to get as many shifts watching Naruto to make sure he was always protected, but he had other assignments as an ANBU captain that required his service. And he was too afraid of approaching him personally and being rejected by the child, so he kept their contact only mask-on.

'Sensei, you'd be disappointed in your own village. This is what you and Obito sacrificed yourselves for...'

Shaking off those depressing thoughts, the clone went back to guarding the house, Tsunami and Inari alongside Sasuke. The original was guarding Tazuna at the bridge with Sakura.

- Bandit Camp, a few miles away from the city -

"Boss" Komushi started, speaking into a closed tent from which grunts and pained whimpers sounded "This here is Koushi and he's looking for work"

A long, male groan was followed with small female sobs as dressing noises came from within the tent. The bandits circulating around were already used to it, not even batting an eye, but Naruto had to exert his full focus in order not to simply obliterate the camp itself. It wouldn't do to tip their hand too soon, making Gato aware would fuck over every plan and make sure his associates covered their asses up, and that was unthinkable. But still... Destroying everything within a 2 mile radius was a very attractive proposition at that moment. Rapists were some of the lowest of the low, which is why he always took care of disposing of them back in his corner of Konoha.

He singlehandedly reduced the rates of sexual assault in the village to almost nil. After all, when all rapists were coming up dead regardless of who they were, be it civillian or shinobi, your self-preservation instinct overcome your sick tendencies.

Keeping from grimacing and retching was a hard task as his enhanced senses let him smell even the bodily secretions, segregated hormones and the fear and despair coming from within the tent.

A 5'9,green haired man toting a scratched out Ame headband emerged from the tent.

'Rokusho Aoi... So you didn't stick to defecting from Konoha, but did the same from Ame to lead a bandit camp... Well, I'll be getting Tobirama-Jiichan's sword back, at least.'

Aoi looked 'Koushi' up and down, trying to measure him up and get a handle on how strong he was 'Good build, seems like he's on the strong side for a Ronin. Of course, he's nothing against me, a former Jonin of Amegakure...'

"Looking for work, huh? Well... A new pair of hands is always welcome, it means the lot of us have to do less work. Find yourself a spot to set up around here."

'Koushi' nodded lightly "I'll try to set up as soon as possible, but I have some personal business to take care of. Give me 2 days."

With a nod from Aoi, 'Koushi' vacated the bandit camp, already making plans. It seemed that team 7 + Zabuza and Haku would be having a busy week.

Omake

The break in

It's been a tough few years for Uchiha Sasuke. After his older brother exterminated his family, he didn't think things could get worse.

He was wrong.

There was something that roused the fear and dread from the bottom of his heart that could only be matched by that night. It was something so horrible that it sometimes made him wish Itachi had killed him and spared him of the experience.

Fangirls.

Just the word sent a shiver through his spine. They were pushy, insistent, constantly trying to encroach into his life and knew not the concept of personal space. Everyday was a battle for survival as he tried tokeep them away from him, and only the Uchiha district provided safety from that menace.

As he strolled through the abandoned streets he felt a major chill run through him, as if someone had just walked over his grave. Looking around out of intuition, his eyes caught a flash of pink and yellow for an instant from the corner of his eyes, but when he turned fully to check it out, there was nothing in view.

Suddenly, he felt something akin to a hand swiping over his butt and a whisper of "Sasuke-kun" in an indistinct, youthful female voice.

He froze, the hackles on the back of his neck rising as his worst fear came to mind 'THEY'RE INSIDE MY SAFE SPACE!'

Whirling around fully, he saw nothing or no one capable of touching him, causing him to let out a relieved sigh 'Calm down Sasuke, your mind is just acting up. There is no way those she-demons can get to you in here...'

Settling down, he resumed his leisurely walk through the district, before the blowing wind sent the sound of giggling girls towards him, making him freeze and squeeze his eyes shut. He felt a pair of ghostly hands, small and girly climbing up his body, feeling almost like a soft piece of cloth or a small, directed breeze, before something spoke.

"Tonight, you're all mine."

He ran. Sasuke ran, and rand, and ran, without looking back. If he had, maybe he would have seen the blonde laughing his ass off with his fingers held in a handsign for wind jutsu.

-15 years later-

"And that's why I always sleep in a triple-locket chastity belt."

"So" One of Sasuke's companions started "You sleep in a chastity belt because you're being stalked by a ghostly fangirl?"

His companions looked around eachother with serious faces, before they all cracked up laughing "HAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!"

Meanwhile, somewhere, somehow, oddly enough, a pink-haired girl suddenly felt a surge of blind rage at being unable to steal- ahem- relieve Sasuke of his virginity. Even odder , that rage was directed towards Naruto.

Scene! Another chapter down for the count! Please leave a review, it motivates me to write faster and better, as it shows your appreciation of the story and that the effort is worth it.

Sorry for the draught of uploads, but life is kinda hella difficult nowadays. I try to make time to keep writing, and it might seem not to be enough, but I do my best! Anyways, see you next chapter!