Chapter 8: The Black Rose

(Thanks so much to Picklez80 (Yes, Ichigo and all of the others will do their part in Byakuya's healing.), Willow (Byakuya will have Ichigo's 'comforts,' but I don't want to rush them too much.), Lochness Nessie (I will be favoring lots of healing for Byakuya/Ichigo as well as Renji/Tetsuya. Didn't have room for Renji/Tetsuya in this chapter, but they'll be back in the next.), Anon (Sorry about the sort of long wait, but I've had a little writer's block and was working right away again as the holidays ended. There's no rest for the wicked, I guess!), Tomyallen (Aww, thanks! *blushes* I really love what I do here. It's so much fun and I just keep falling in love with Bleach and the Bleach characters all over again), kyuumihaira (Oh yes, there will be lots of family connections too!), Parnita (Yes, lots of Ichi comfort begins here!) and Anarane-Sensei (And a lovely New Year to you too!), and NamineLily (Yes, Kisuke takes a lot from Bya. I wonder if he needs someone to 'comfort' him!) Happy New Year to all! Spunky loves you!)

Byakuya woke well before sunrise and suffered a moment of horrid uncertainty. With his eyes still closed, he wondered if he could really have gained his freedom...if he really laid next to the love of his life, or if it was some cruel joke and he was still a prisoner after all.

He felt warm fingers tracing the lines of his face and his closed eyes began to fill with tears. He wished beyond hope that he could open his eyes and see Ichigo's affectionate, golden-brown eyes looking down into his. But he knew well that the eyes he would meet if he opened his were darker and far more dangerous. They glared at him with lust and expectation, never with honest affection. A feeling of illness blossomed in his belly and his head swam.

"What is wrong?" Aizen's voice asked with unusual gentleness, "I have been kind to you while you have been struggling. It's not wrong to relax and enjoy the comforts I offer. I am the only source of those things for you now. Byakuya, this doesn't have to be painful. It doesn't have to be difficult. Once you accept your place here..."

"No!" he cried, tearing away from the other man and cringing against the wall that impeded him from escaping the bed, "I will never...never accept that my place is with you!"

"I understand that you feel that way now," Aizen said, moving forward and slowly cornering him, "After all, you just had Ichigo's child. But you must come to terms with the fact that this is your new reality."

He slipped his arms around the stiffened noble and kissed his frowning mouth.

"These are the arms that will hold you. Mine are the lips that will warm yours with kisses. My tongue will caress yours and I will be the only one to ever penetrate you."

"Sousuke..."

"Do not defy me any longer," Aizen warned him darkly, "I have given you time to adjust, but the time has come for you to accept your fate."

A long stemmed black rose appeared in his hand and he ran the soft bud down the side of the noble's porcelain cheek.

Byakuya forced his eyes open, then stiffened sharply as his eyes found a black rose laid across Ichigo's chest with the blossom just touching the Kuchiki heir's trembling lips. He tried, but couldn't seem to draw a breath. His head swam and he pulled away, staggering to his feet as Ichigo's eyes opened and fixed on Byakuya's widened ones, reading the undisguised horror.

"Byakuya?" he said, sitting up.

The Kuchiki heir blinked and looked at Ichigo again, only to find no sign of the rose that had been there a moment before.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Byakuya found he could breathe again, but that each breath was painful both entering and exiting his body.

"What is it?" he persisted, "Come on, this is getting pretty scary. I know it was a dream, but what was it about? Please, Byakuya. You can trust me."

"That is the one thing of which I am sure," Byakuya replied in a shaky voice, sitting down on the edge of the bed, "Ichigo, I may have escaped him, but he is still there, still tormenting me."

The Shiba heir slipped an arm around his distressed friend, brushing the hair away from his face and laying soft, bracing kisses on his cheek.

"I'm sorry he hurt you so bad."

"Thank you, Ichigo," Byakuya said gratefully, "It helps to know that whatever happens, you understand where it comes from."

"He really messed with your head," Ichigo acknowledged, "It's going to take a while for you to get all of that out. But this is a safe place to do that."

"How can you say that?" Byakuya objected, "Ichigo, I am not the only one suffering. Emiko is..."

"This isn't about Emiko," the Shiba heir said calmly, "Kisuke, Renji, Tetsuya, Rukia and I can help her cope. Let us do that. You need to focus on what's going to bring you all of the way back to us."

"Ichigo..."

Ichigo's arms tightened around him, holding him firmly as the Shiba heir's cheek rubbed comfortingly against his.

"C'mon, just let everything else go and focus on this. Focus on my arms holding you like this and keeping you safe from everything."

"You cannot protect me from Aizen Sousuke."

"Not alone, I can't," Ichigo agreed, "But you don't just have me. You have all of us, Byakuya. We're all here for you and we want to help you find your way back. It's okay to let us help you."

"I am, but you have to realize that I cannot feel safe, not ever."

"You are safe. You are safe with us."

"How can I know that for certain?" Byakuya asked desperately, "The man wields illusions, and although you have been able to see through them, I cannot! Aizen surrounded me with illusions, battered me with them to the point of me not knowing what was real and what was only his creation. And while I do not question that Emiko and I have escaped him, I..."

He broke off, reeling at the emotion that rose up as he considered what he had...or perhaps hadn't seen before. Ichigo nuzzled his cheek gently and laced their fingers together.

"Byakuya, you've got a lot you have to deal with," he said, squeezing the Kuchiki heir's hands, "but I think you need to get a little distance. You can't seem to sleep right now, so why don't we go and take a walk in the garden? It's nothing like the ones at your manor, but the flowers are pretty and smell sweet. And kami knows you didn't have that to comfort you in Hueco Mundo while you were with him."

"No," Byakuya agreed, "The flowers and beautiful things around me were illusions. Everything but Emiko."

"Come on. I'll show you flowers that are real, a blue sky that isn't just a false reflection. It's a beautiful day and there's a lake we can walk around. Maybe you'll feel better if you just come out with me and take a walk."

A small, pleased smile rose on the noble's lips.

"That sounds lovely," he agreed.

"Then, let's go," Ichigo urged him, standing and bringing the Kuchiki heir to his feet.

He picked up a warm robe and wrapped it around Byakuya's too thin body, then kissed him on the cheek and mouth and slipped a hand into his. They walked out of the room together, pausing to put on soft slippers before stepping out onto the trail that led into the safe house's gardens.

Byakuya breathed in the sweet mingled scents of the flowers, bushes, grass and trees, marveling at the pleasant swell of fresh air in his lungs and the feeling of freedom the open space gave him. The soft chirping of birds and the buzzing of bees as they zipped from bud to bud brought back a feeling of peace he barely remembered from before the quincy war, before the Arrancar conflict.

Fighting has been at the core of my existence for too long, he mused silently, enjoying the warm press of Ichigo's hand in his, First, with Aizen's betrayal and then with the horrific intent of the quincies, and finally, the struggle to preserve some part of myself as Aizen slowly undid everything...

He tried to remember that last family gathering or meeting of council he had attended and couldn't conjure the memories. He could visualize snippets of smiling faces, laughing voices, people dancing, but it felt far removed from him and foreign.

"You're doing some pretty heavy thinking," Ichigo noted, reading his expression.

"I was trying to remember things the way they were, before my abduction, before Ywach, before Aizen."

"You must wish you could go back," Ichigo said, smiling sadly in understanding, "Sometimes, I wish that too."

"But, I don't."

Ichigo gave him a look of surprise.

"You don't?" he queried softly, bringing them to a stop as they reached the edge of a large, blue lake.

"I don't," Byakuya admitted, looking out across the water, "Ichigo, there are many things about the past that were pleasant...comforts I had, people, places and things that I loved. But even back then, I looked forward as well. I am still living in the present, but I am looking forward. If I had stopped looking forward when my parents died, I would not have met Hisana and if we hadn't met, I wouldn't have adopted Rukia into the family. If I hadn't adopted her, she might not have gotten involved with you and healed the wounds that Kaien's death dealt her. It did bring Aizen Sousuke into our lives, but it also brought you."

Ichigo chuckled.

"You probably wouldn't have thought it was such a good thing back then."

"I didn't," Byakuya agreed, the trace of a smile touching the corners of his mouth, "But you rescued Rukia, and by rescuing her, you rescued me. You stopped Aizen."

"Actually, it was Kisuke's spell that trapped him in the end. I failed, don't you remember? I was down and Aizen was still on his feet."

"You pushed him to the ends of his strength and the hougyoku rejected him. He wouldn't have succeeded after that. You also stopped the quincy king."

"Yeah, well Soul Society still got reduced to junk," Ichigo sighed, "and so many people died."

"But, it wasn't the end for us," Byakuya reminded him quietly, "It was a new beginning. The ones who survived the war went home. They buried and mourned their dead and they rebuilt their homes. They continued to build and live dreams that could have been lost. They looked to the future. That is all that I'm trying to do."

"But, a big part of your past is getting in the way," Ichigo noted, "and as long as he's walking around free, you have to keep looking over your shoulder."

"But, I also have your eyes to look into," Byakuya whispered, turning into Ichigo's arms and looking up at him, "I have your voice and your touch to soothe me when I feel fear. And I have your hands to lift me back up when I fall."

"That's right. I'm here for you."

"And even though you are the one who is stronger right now, know that I am here for you as well. You and Emiko are everything to me. And that is why I am looking forward and not remaining in the past. Still, the past can come back to haunt all of us as long as that man is free. So, you must understand that we can't stay here forever, Ichigo. We have to go out and fight to make sure that all of this isn't stolen away."

"That's fine. We're gonna do that," Ichigo promised, "You, me and all of our friends. But before you can think about fighting, you need to get your strength back. You need to deal with the things that happened to you and you need to be able to use your powers again."

"You are right, of course," Byakuya sighed, lowering his eyes, "But even with the worst of my injuries healed, I still have weaknesses. Even though reiatsu runs through my spirit centers, I cannot call my power to bear. And that man who was my captor and tormentor haunts my steps."

"It won't be that way forever," Ichigo promised, "You're going to get your powers back and we're going to fight Aizen together. We have a family to protect, and you know I never let the people I protect die."

"No," Byakuya agreed, kissing him tenderly, "You don't."

"I won't this time either," Ichigo insisted, returning his kiss more passionately, "I'm gonna protect you and Emiko!"

He pressed up against Byakuya's body, running a line of gentler kisses along the side of his face, then along the graceful lines of his blushing neck. And oddly, though the thought of being touched that way had brought fear that memories of Aizen's deceit would assault him, a stronger realization broke through to Byakuya.

That man could fool my senses and surround me with lies, but those lies disappear when confronted with the truth. There is no denying that these are the kisses and touches of my lover, my soul resonant, the one who commands my heart. My heart knows him through all lies and trickery. I do not have to fear Aizen's power. The one part of me that was not deceived was my heart. It is still strong and it still loves only Ichigo.

And freed from the heavy emotion, he found it easy to relax and return Ichigo's warm, loving offerings...soft caresses on exposed skin, close embraces and penetrating kisses. He felt the first swells of arousal and his heart quickened. The flush on the Shiba heir's face told him that his state of arousal hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Byakuya..."

"Don't tell me that we should stop," the Kuchiki heir whispered into his ear.

"But, Kisuke said that..."

"Kisuke is not my master, nor does he know in fullness, what is between us. Only we know that, and only we can decide when we are and are not ready. I love you. I want to be with you. For so many years, that was my desire, but I could not be with you. Whom do we serve by allowing Aizen Sousuke's misdeeds to keep us apart?"

"I don't want to hurt you!"

"And you think that you would hurt me by loving me and expressing that love in intimacy?"

"But Aizen raped you!" Ichigo objected, "Not just once, but hundreds of times. And I know he played mind games with you. I see it when I'm with you. I know that it hurts you!"

"And since when does turning our backs on the good things to avoid the bad make sense? Since when does that unbreak a mind that was broken or soothe flesh that was torn? Ichigo, you cannot heal me by refusing to touch me. As much as I have to relearn how to relax and be myself with you, you have to do the same. I am not going to break in your hands. I have been broken and I am putting myself back together as best I can. You can help me to do that or you can stand back and watch. But do not make the mistake of thinking that you will protect our love by abandoning it."

"Hey, I'm not abandoning anything," the Shiba heir insisted, wrapping his arms tightly around Byakuya and kissing him fiercely, "I'm just trying to move slowly and not hurt you while we work through all of this."

"I feel no pain right now," Byakuya assured him, "and if I do, I will tell you and I won't mind if we stop. But the greater pain I live with is that I remember better what his touch feels like than yours. His voice echoes in my mind. I still burn inside from the heat and fire of his cruelty. It's not just that I want to make that disappear. I want to feel again what it is to be truly loved, held by my lover and filled with what only he can render. We were only together that once, Ichigo, but in my heart it lasted endlessly."

Ichigo found suddenly that both words and thought had abandoned him. He fell on the Kuchiki heir's starving mouth, plundering it shamelessly and holding on tightly as the two of them kissed. His hands slid down Byakuya's slender form, feeling the lovely curves and the warmth of his wanting nether region. He pressed harder against the Kuchiki heir, moving his hips to cause tickles of pleasant friction. Byakuya moaned into his opened mouth, quivering with the delight at the sensation. Ichigo nudged him back against a tree and started to slip his hands into Byakuya's clothing, but paused as a little giggle sounded nearby. The two men, parted hastily as Rukia gently chided the girl at her side.

"Emiko, that's not polite. We should leave them alone."

"But I like it when they kiss," the girl objected, scampering to Byakuya and climbing into his arms, "Daddy Bya looks happy when they kiss. He really loves Daddy Ichi!"

"I love him right back," Ichigo chuckled, ruffling his daughter's bright ginger hair and kissing her cheek.

"That's good," Emiko said, little tears forming in the corners of her wide grey eyes, "Daddy Bya needs a lot of love to get better from...from being hurt so much before."

"And Ichigo is making me feel very much loved. Do not worry, Emiko. Everything will be all right now."

"Good. I don't want you to be sad anymore. I don't like it when you're sad. I didn't like you being sad, even when he lied and said you were my slave!"

"You are a blessing, child," Byakuya sighed, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey," Rukia said, changing the subject, "Kisuke sent us to tell you two that lunch is ready...if you feel like joining us."

"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding, "I believe we will."

The four turned away from the lake and started back towards the house, Emiko in Byakuya's arms and Rukia chatting happily with Ichigo.

Behind them, from the branches of the tree Byakuya had leaned against, a long stemmed black rose drifted down from within the high limbs and landed on the ground.