the future enters into us,

in order to transform itself in us,

long before it happens

. . .

He was gone for a year.

He must have been planning it. The distance between them had been growing, and there had been something in his eyes that morning, something that reminded her of the man she knew on Namek. His rage could not be contained on this planet – was it generosity or pride that made him leave?

She thought she would miss him, that she would pine for him and scour the stars at night, but for the first time in a long time, she felt whole.

But she knew he would be back.

. . .

He had been gone for two months when she discovered that she was pregnant. To be accurate – when Goku told her she was.

She had taken him lunch – "They will never return your kindness", Vejita whispered in her head – and accidentally brushed past him. The contact caused Goku to jump as if shocked, and then he had looked at her with different eyes, with a seriousness she had rarely seen from him.

"He will be a great warrior someday."

The boy from the future, with his Super Saiyan eyes and human emotion, haunted her. How could she have been so blind? That he would have to be Vejita's son was a given, but her... Then, who else would have given herself to a monster?

As her body ripened, she could not help but dwell on the woman in the future who had lost everyone and everything only to send her son, her only connection to this life, back to warn them. She didn't know that woman, wasn't sure if she could ever grow into her.

She thought of that last morning: the abruptness of the end of their stalemate, the purposeful way he had taken her... he must have known. It disturbed her that he had pieced it together before her, had understood the gravity of the situation and done what had been necessary. She was again left with the same question – generosity or pride? She would probably never know.

So, she carried on.

She stayed in her lab long after the others had left, staring at blueprints for the machine that would send her son – their son – back in case of disaster.

She spent time with her parents, time she knew she would not regret if all was lost.

She checked the specs on his ship, wondering which pinpoint of celestial light he was on, never doubting that he would survive, and that he would succeed.

All the while, the baby – the person who had saved them all, who was destined to be greater – grew.

. . .

During the day – what passed for a day anyway, in space where it was always dark – they were easy to forget.

He didn't miss her, didn't give a thought to whether he had indeed left her impregnated or not. He had done his duty to fate, done the right thing for once in his life, and would have liked to forget it.

He hadn't done it for love, for honor, or for generosity. In fact, he wasn't sure why he had done it, just that after realizing who the boy from the future was, he had known that it could be no other way. If she knew, she would understand. She would know soon enough.

During the day, he trained, and he forgot.

For the first couple of months he slept through the night, blissfully unperturbed by the nightmares that would usually plague him.

And then, one night, as unremarkable as the others before it, the dreams began.

He opened her bedroom door slowly, quietly so as not to wake her. Her form beneath the sheets was tiny, curved as she was around herself. The smell was overpowering – the terrible, familiar metallic scent of blood. He moved the blankets aside, revealing the lethal pool she slept in. Her abdomen had been ripped open, and there was no trace of the tiny being he had expected to find there...

He landed the ship haphazardly in the front yard, pressured by a sense of urgency he did not immediately understand. As he disembarked, he heard screaming, desperate screaming, from the direction of the house. He ran, seemingly incapable of flight, knocking down every door that stood in his way. He found them in the living room, watching as the baby, the monster, clawed its way out of her, borne of blood and suffering...

He always woke covered in sweat, uncertain and unwilling to ponder why he was feeling such anxiety. He cleansed himself of the foreboding feeling in his morning shower, pounded it out in his training regimen, but as soon as he closed his eyes the dreams would return.

He was a man accustomed to misery, and so he bore it as best he could, driven by the need to grow ever stronger. Whatever his unconscious fears were, he knew that her light would be enough to burn the taint of the child's parentage away. It had to be, for the sake of them all.

. . .

Lady Rhapsody

[ Opening lines from Rilke. Please leave a review :-) ]