Sorry I couldn't get this up sooner it was being annoying
Tommy came on the bus later that night with take-out. He smiled at Jude who was sitting on the couch with her hands firmly clasped in front of her. She did not return the gesture.
"You ok?" Tommy asked taking chinese cartons out of the large paper bag he had brought. She just continued to silently glower at him.
"Jude?" His voice sounded a little more concerned this time.
"How long were you going to hide it from me?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.
"Hide what?"
In a flash Jude was on her feet. She stormed over him and flipped open the phone that had been held in her clenched fist. She put it on speakerphone and played the message, burning holes into his eyes with her own.
"Tommy, it's Denise. Look I realize you had to get back to Toronto, you had a life there and we couldn't expect you to give it up forever. But things are really falling apart without you.
That half-wit brother of yours couldn't raise a little girl if someone paid him and I have children of my own to worry about. You know I love Leslie but I think it's time for you to take some responsibility. There's still a chance you're her father and if you are I would hate for her to have to grow up knowing the broken man Ben has become instead of a real man who cares about her. And I know you care about her Tommy.
I know you have friends there and a job and Jude but maybe...something could be worked out? Just get back to me."
There was a steady beep as the message ended. Tommy let out a shaky breath and slowly raised his eyes to Jude's, which were still boaring through him and now glistening with fresh tears.
"You shouldn't have answered my phone," he whispered.
"You are in no place to lecture anyone on ethics!" Jude snapped. "Now explain this to me."
"What do you want to know?"
"Let's start with the basics, who's Denise?"
"Leslie's nanny, she's worked for my sister-in-law's family for years."
"Leslie's your niece?"
Tommy nodded. "And Ben's my brother."
"What did she mean 'there's still a chance you're her father'?"
"Jude it's complicated..."
"Explain it to me."
Tommy let out a heavy sigh. "Ok but I think you better sit down." Jude nodded slowly and returned to her seat on the couch. Tommy bit his lip lightly, trying to decide where to begin.
"My brother and I were close. We had the same past, the same disfunctional family...and we needed each other to get through that. We hung out in the same circles to, so when Ben met Kathleen, his wife, I was already friend's with her. They were definately in love but they were very young, only 18, so after awhile things started to go a little sour."
"You and your brother both got into bad marriages at 18, isn't that cliche," Jude said coolly.
"I thought it would be different for them, they had something me and Portia never did. Anyway one night after a particularly bad fight and several shots of Vodka, Ben slapped her. She stormed out and I didn't know what else to do but go after her. We were both drunk, one thing led to another and..."
"You unimagineable bastard," Jude whispered. Tommy quirked an eyebrow.
"Did you just quote Titanic?"
"Seemed appropriate."
Tommy sighed and nodded in agreement. "I was stupid, really stupid. I was 21 and starting on this whole new road in life and there was this girl who had seen me in the good, the bad..."
"She was your brother's wife!" Jude yelled suddenly. "There's no excuse for that!"
"I know, you're right. 4 weeks later she found out she was pregnant. I knew there was a chance it was mine but...I saw a change in my brother then. They stopped fighting as much, it was like they were the couple that fell in love in the first place. I couldn't screw that up. So I packed my bags, came to Toronto and Georgia helped me get a start as a producer."
"But you never bothered to find out if she-"
"It didn't matter!" Tommy cut her off sharply. "He was a good father until Kathleen died. He loves Leslie, and when he lands back on his feet everything will be ok again."
"Doesn't sound like Denise shares your optimism," Jude said, nodding towards the phone. "How does she even know about this?"
"She was one of Kathleen's best friends, how do you think?"
Jude shook her head, shaking as she processed all this information. "Tommy if you are Leslie's father she has the right to know-"
"And what about Ben? He already lost his wife he can't lose his daughter. Jude you're just a kid you don't understand the situation."
"Just a kid!" Jude yelled jumping to her feet. "You didn't think I was just a kid when you decided to fuck me. You didn't think I was just a kid when you decided to run away without so much as an explaination, you were pretty damn sure I would be able to take care of myself. So tell me Tommy, what constitues me as a kid? I'm not a virgin, I have more life experience than some people 3 times my age, I'm almost the same age you were when you got married!"
"Easy," he said trying to calm her down.
"You know what Tommy, if that's really what you think of me then screw you. I'm done wasting my time." She grabbed her cell phone and jacket and headed off the bus.
"Where are you going!" Tommy called after her.
"None of your business!" Jude shot back. "And have your shit out of my room by the time I get back!" With that she stormed off the bus, leaving Tommy staring helplessly in her wake. He shot a glance to his right and saw Kyle and Wally peaking their heads out of their room. They quickly ducked back in when they saw him looking.
Jude walked as fast as she could away from the tour bus. It quickly escalated into a sprint and soon she broke into a full out run. She ran and ran until her lungs were screaming for oxygen. She collapsed down onto her knees, panting heavily and sobbing almost as hard. Tears warmed her wind-chilled cheeks and sobs shook her entire body. How could Tommy keep something like this from her? How could he not tell her had a kid? Or even possibly had a kid. In the 3 years they had known each other...Jude heard someone calling her name and jumped to her feet, ready to dash off again if it was Tommy, but instead she saw Speed stumbling in her direction. With a sigh she wiped the tears from her cheeks and walked over to meet him.
"How'd you find me?" she asked quietly. Speed shrugged as he reached her and gave her an evaluating look.
"You've been crying...did you confront him?" Speed asked wide-eyed. Jude could smell the alcohol heavy on his breath mixed with cinnamon gum. It wasn't a very appealing smell.
"You've been drinking again," she accused him in an undertone.
"Don't change the sublect..subject." Speed shook his head trying to clear it a little so he could talk to Jude. She sighed and led him over to a bench a few yards away, noticing how hard he was working to stay on his feet. When they were both comfortably seated Speed asked again.
"So did you talk to him?" Jude nodded in response as fresh tears warmed her eyes.
"And?"
"Speed..." Jude trailed off, searching for the words in her head. A sob escaped her lips and Speed took her chin in his hand. His breath still reeked of beer but his eyes seemed to pierce her with an intense and alert stare.
"Talk to me," he half-whispered, half-commanded. Jude found herself spilling out the whole sorted story. Tears burned trails down her cheeks the whole time she spoke but she couldn't have cared less. When she was done she felt drained, but oddly content, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her chest. Speed swallowed hard and looked at her shaking form, wondering what he could say to help her.
"Are you ok?" he asked finally. Jude smiled at him weakly and wiped her eyes.
"I will be. You know, you don't seem that drunk."
"A week or so straight gets you used to it," he shrugged. "People say I never act too drunk but I've had more tonight than any other night this whoooole week."
"Why?" was all Jude could think to ask.
"It numbs the pain. The pain of knowing I messed up, knowing someone else got hurt because of it, the pain of seeing someone I care so much about get walked all over by some stuck-up pretty boy."
"You care about me?" Jude asked with a small smile. He looked at her seriously.
"I do, and you deserve so much better than that thing you insist on flaunting around. You're too good for him Jude."
Jude shook her head. "He's all I wanted. When I was with Shay, Jamie, you...I always hoped it hurt him, just a little. I wanted him to admit, to himself if no one else, that he wanted me. Maybe I was just being stupid."
"You were never stupid," he assured her quietly. A tear rolled down Jude already stained cheeks and her shoulders shook softly.
"Don't waste tears over him," Speed whispered, wiping her cheek with the back of his hand. Jude met his eyes and her breath caught in her throat. Before she knew what she was doing she felt herself moving closer to him. It was like some powerful force was drawing their faces closer together and neither one of them was controlling it. Neither of them was fighting it either. Their lips touched for only a fleeting moment before Jude gasped and jerked back, doubt flashing in her brilliant blue eyes. Speed cupped her cheek in his hand and brought her lips back to his, this time taking control and deepening the kiss. Jude didn't pull back this time, she instead entangled her hand in his soft, blonde locks and opened her mouth, inviting his tongue in. They stayed like that for what felt like forever. The kiss was deep but innocent and never went farther than two friends pouring their deepest pains into each other in the only way they knew how.
The only problem, they weren't as alone as they might've thought.
