In the end. This is just a strange ambiguously gay tale of nine super powerful magical girls...mixed with copious amounts of crack and sexual frustration. Some how...Somehow it's made it this far.
Will Rei Hino walk the plank?
Is she even gay?
Will Minako ever learn how to not be such an awful friend despite her noble intentions?
Do any of us even care at this point?
Well...continue on downward you brave, brave reader.
Usagi chuckled nervously, "So ehm…after I came to this…realizationofphysicaldesiref orblackhairedgorgeousgirlswi thvioleteyes…I decided to try and do something about it…"
"Tell me, specifically what you did" Rei said, her voice lowering to a hiss. The gears were turning in her head, putting pieces together.
Usagi rubbed the back of her neck, feeling queasy all a sudden… she took a deep breath, "so, for the past two months I… I…ugh" She let out an exasperated moan, "just to be frank, I've been scheming."
"Scheming?" Rei asked, just to clarify.
"Yeah. A lot."
Usagi rubbed the back of her neck. Coming clean was going to be hard. She couldn't remember all the details (she didn't want to share all the details) but she started from the beginning.
"Well…Ami once told me that in order to do anything successfully, I'd first have to prepare… So I first read 'the dummies guide to seduction' and 'cosmopolitan' and 'Fifty Shades of Gray'…aaannnddd all these sailor moon fanfics that paired Sailor Mars and Sailor Moon…"
"Usagi." Rei said, sternly, "you thought that reading fictional stories of extremely variable quality…written by strangers…who have no idea who we actually are… would help you figure out what I was thinking?"
"Uh… I had no idea how we were going to get together – so I thought maybe other people would know better…"
Rei burst, "That is the stupidest logic I've ever heard!"
"Stop cutting me off!"
"Really Usa-baka? Most of these people are socially-awkward wee-abo's that can't even get through puberty let alone give advice onto how I operate—"
"Well it was those fanfics that made me realize that despite the fact that you're such a grumpy ass all the time that you're actually super over-protective of me – and that if you thought something was wrong like 'oh a youma may be following me' that'd you'd actually follow me too!"
"…." Rei blinked.
Usagi blinked.
"Are you telling me that when you told me that a youma may be following you…that you were lying to me?" Rei's brows crinkled, "that's kind of awful. I was really concerned."
"Yeah. So concerned that you stalked me everywhere for a week." Usagi snapped. Then she bit her tongue, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to seem emotionally manipulative-"
"That's seducing for you" Rei said, bitterly.
"It actually means to persuade or induce to have sexual intercourse!" Ami, reading from a dictionary, called out.
Everyone ignored her. And Usagi continued,
"point is- I didn't know how intense your protectiveness for me was. So I wanted to see…and uh…I did"
From the past two months
Usagi walked down the street, and checked the reflections off the store mirrors…Was that? Yup…that was Rei…In a trash can? Watching her?
Time passed and Usagi would strategically look at the car side mirrors to look behind her. And there was Rei – still following her.
'Crikey. I've been aimlessly wandering around in circles for…13 hours. I've gone back home and slept twice…and she's still following me. Doesn't she think I'm having a super boring day or what?' Usagi thought.
Rei's eye lid twitched. She had thought that Usagi's days had been rather vapid and boring…but she had thought that was just the daily life of the messiah.
Further away, Michiru ran a hand through her hair and chuckled, "well, I'll be… she actually was trying to be a good friend."
"Sheesh," Haruka sighed, "and that was one of the evidences where I though for sure had her guilty."
Usagi then continued, "so. once I realized that whatever feelings you had for me – may it just be platonic or whatnot- were actually quite powerful…well…I had to see how'd you…uh…respond to certain things…"
As Usagi tried to get the eraser, she glanced back – scooted her butt a little to the left towards Rei. Made sure to bounce it around just so – like how cosmo magazine instructed. Yup. Back it up. Back it up. Baacckk it up.
"Hmmm, she was shaking what her momma gave her a bit too much" Ami mused.
"It was a tad obnoxious" Makoto agreed.
"I just thought that all girls waved their butts in the air like that " Minako sighed,
"That's just you, Minako"
"I wish all girls waved their butts like that –ow!" Haruka yelped when Michiru pinched her ear.
Usagi whipped her head left and right, making sure that no one could see her by the steps in the Jinja. She checked the package in her hands one last time – yup, it looked legit. She unceremoniously dropped it, and hopped behind a hiding place. She waited.
Sure enough, Rei's grandpa walked by, and picked it up "hmm." He walked up the steps and called to Rei, "Rei! You have manga in the mail, again!"
Rei walked out, "What? But I didn't order anything" she said as she walked over. She had been purposefully holding back on ordering manga, she needed to save her money for more important things. She opened the package and froze when she saw the cover.
"Eh? What is it? Did you order it?" Rei's grandpa asked.
Rei twitched, "no…I didn't order this…"
Grandpa reached out for the magazine, "ah, then we better return it –" he was cut off by a door slamming in his face.
"I'm going to read it anyway!" Rei shouted through the door, "don't disturb me"
Grandpa blinked. Confused. Ok, whatever made his granddaughter happy.
Meanwhile, in the bushes, Usagi was using binoculars to observe the action. She cackled to herself – bait, hook and sinker
"So she didn't order the hentai doujin…" Michiru said the revelation aloud. Makoto tapped her chin,
"But we can still get her on the fact that she didn't through it away." She counter-pointed.
"Ah. But if you had a well-drawn, smoking hot doujin of Sailor Moon x Sailor Mars would you throw it away?" Haruka asked. Makoto shrugged
"Well you got me there."
"If it was a Sailor Moon x Galaxia doujin– you wouldn't be able to pry it from my cold, dead fingers."
"What was that, Michiru?"
"Nothing, love."
Setsuna was having a barbeque at her house that afternoon. Usagi made sure to wear a white shirt. Minus the bra of course.
At the party she quietly laid out the hose – made it sure that it was near Minako. Then she grabbed a few ice cubes from the beverage cooler. She snuck up behind Minako, knowing that the hose would be too much to resist from the devious girl if provoked.
"What?" Minako gasped, "how did she know that I was going to come after her with the hose?"
All the senshi looked at Minako. The blonde then clucked her tongue, "that girl knows me better than I thought…"
"I twisted my ankle!" Sailor Moon complained loudly. It was right after a youma fight and Sailor Moon hobbled behind Sailor Mars.
"Well suck it up then." Mars had grunted. Usagi paused for just a moment. Yeah, Mars had her there because in truth her ankle didn't really hurt too bad. She had just rolled on it. But she couldn't let her get away that easily.
"I twisted both my ankles" Sailor Moon had blurted without even thinking.
"What? How does someone twist both their ankles?" Mars asked, not believing her.
Sailor Moon simply blinked. How did someone twist both their ankles? Uh. Uh.
So Sailor Moon did what she always did when she didn't know what else to do. She bawled. Loudly.
Ten minutes later when she was comfortably in Mar's arms, she sleepily rubbed the back of Mar's neck – in pure bliss.
"We should've known this" Makoto groaned, "its impossible to sprain both ankles at once."
"Well actually there was this one girl who tripped off a three inch step—"
"Ami. Enough"
The Senshi were going to go into the mountains for some odd reason. Usagi whistled as she packed up her bag. "Huh. I think my Sleeping bag is in my pack" Usagi said aloud to herself. She zipped it up, skipped out of her room and left her sleeping bag laying on the floor.
The next night in the forest, when she and Rei shared a sleeping bag Usagi unbuttoned the top buttons on her pajama top. Grinned, then put Rei's head – just so – on her chest.
Ami tapped her own forehead, realizing, "that's why we were short two sleeping bags and not just one!" she exclaimed aloud. "of course we made sure to leave one behind so Rei and Usagi would have to share one…but we never thought Usagi would've left one back herself trying to get to the same result!"
"Huh. We could've saved a lot of work then."
"Well, I didn't mind" Minako grinned at Ami. The shorter girl blushed.
Makoto glared daggers at the blonde.
Usagi tapped her chin, thinking, "hmmmm was that everything. No way…what else…oh yeah!" she snapped her fingers, "then the swim suit store…" Usagi was cut off when Rei lifted up her hand. "But I'm not done yet." Rei didn't say anything, "Don't you want me to explain everything? I mean that's barely skimmed the surface-"
"NO!"
Usagi shut her mouth.
A long pause ensued. Rei simply held up her arm and stared hard at the ground.
Silence.
Usagi gulped. She knew that confessing her sins would have serious consequences. She felt the sweat pores open on her back…
Rei blinked and her eyes narrowed. She slowly put down her arm and hissed, "You were goading me?"
Usagi's eyes shifted side to side. A sheepish chuckle erupted from her throat.
Rei leaned towards her, "are you serious? You were actually GOADING me to try and molest you? What type of twisted, sick plan is that?" Rei said, her voice rising again.
"That's like…molesting fishing…?" Makoto pondered. Haruka squeezed her shoulder and whispered,
"otherwise called seduction."
"…Totally knew that."
"I can't believe this…you were trying to seduce me!?" Rei exclaimed. Usagi's lip trembled – she gave an awkward shrug,
"Uh…Yeah?" She answered.
From the little distance away, Ami rubbed her temples. "Oh geez. For two months we try to prove to Rei that she's the one that wants Usagi – But in reality it was Usagi who wanted Rei all along. Which means more than likely all the situations we were using against Rei was actually caused by Usagi – Rei was simply reacting. "
The blunette then ran her hands through her hair as she realized more and more, "Minako, we thought that it was Rei chasing Usagi. But in reality it was Usagi chasing Rei. This means that Rei may be actually innocent of everything. We were concentrating on the wrong girl. This means that Usagi's the predatory lesbian…"
"WHAT!?" everyone gasped.
"I know!" Setsuna said as she threw up her hands in exasperation,
Ami turned to Minako, "do you know what this means?"
Minako whispered, "it means that we were wrong the entire time. Rei's actually the straight and normal one."
"Oh the humanity!" Someone shouted
"Oh the insanity!" cried another
"Oh the manatee's!" barked a stranger.
The sailor soldier of all things love, passion and amour, stood quietly on top of her bucket after that. Her stance a mix of shocked and dejected.
Meanwhile, back to the main duo of interest in this story
"How could you do that to me? Do you know what hell everyone has put me through because of your objectification of me!?"
"I'm not objectifying you more than anyone else!" Usagi fired back.
"What the Hell does that mean!?"
"That means that you're a beautiful, smart and kickass girl! Who wouldn't want to have you?"
In the crowd that surrounded them, all the men, boys and a handful of women all nodded in agreement. Who didn't want a beautiful, intelligent, independent woman?
Rei, exasperated, "I thought our relationship meant more that that! I thought we were friends – best friends!"
"We are!"
"Really? Because it seems as though all you want is in my pants and nothing else"
"That's not true!"
"Then why on Earth didn't you just TELL me what was going on? Why did you go around my back and try and seduce me as though I was just some chick at a bar? Like a stranger?" Rei said. Despite the sizzling temper Rei was experiencing, she could not disguise the hurt in her voice.
Usagi looked at Rei, pained, "I was scared Rei. I thought this would be a good plan."
"Well it sucked."
"Do I look like Ami?" Usagi laughed mirthlessly at herself, "when was the last time I came up with a good plan?"
Rei couldn't help the chuckle that escaped from her throat. She paused before she answered quietly, "sometimes you've come up with great stuff on the fly"
"Thanks."
Both girls shuffled their feet a little, not really knowing what the do next. Finally, Rei asked,
"So if you weren't just trying to 'wham-bam-thank you ma'am' me. What was your goal?"
"huh?" Usagi said.
Rei tried again, "what was your goal in all of this?"
Usagi twiddled her thumbs, trying to formulate her thoughts. A vein popped up on the raven haired girl's forehead. It seemed as though she was about to go off on another rant, but was cut off though when Usagi fired back,
"I was trying to get you to REACT you thick, stubborn, hot-headed, proud—" Usagi cheeks were flushed with frustration, anxiety and pure adrenaline, "I mean what am I supposed to do? You would've freaked out if I told you that I was lusting after your body."
"I would have NOT freaked out!" Rei defended. Her hands were shaking.
"But it would've sure as hell clammed you up! It probably would've ruined our friendship because I can't be open to you about that type of thing!"
"What does that mean, odango?"
"It means you're so UPTIGHT! RIGID! So self-restrained that its ridiculous! It would've scared the living Hell out of you! And if I asked if you're…willing….There's no way in Hell going to tell me anything—"
"And why do you think that?" Rei stepped towards Usagi, her eyebrows dropping down into a sharp downward diagonals, "First off why does everyone think I'm gay? Do I have some sort of sign on me that's blaring 'Hard Gay' that everyone is seeing and not me? Am I dressing super gay? Last I checked I barely wear plaid and hate combat boots with a passion"
In the distance, a small voice shouted, "No one thinks you're gay! Everyone just thinks you love Usagi!"
"There is a difference!" Another small voice chirped from the far distance.
"And just to be clear there is no set laws of fashion or aesthetic that gay people follow." Haruka interjected. Michiru raised a finger and added,
"However, to be fair, sometimes stereotyping is justified – but only if the stereotyped one acknowledges it-" BOOM! Something like thunder caused everyone to stop and pause… You see, the dear readers all slammed their keyboards and shouted in unison,
"We understand how to be politically correct, oh powerful Lesbian Couple of Sailor Moon! We do not need to be patronized! For would we even READ a gay fanfic if we weren't all totally for gay rights? Let's get on with Rei and Usagi already!"
Alas. Computer screens are extremely effective fourth walls – and no one heard.
"That was an extremely unusual, extremely random bit of thunder" Makoto mused out loud.
Rei shook her head, this was getting absolutely-out of hand- ridiculous. She turned back to Usagi, and continued, "Before I was so rudely cut off, let me get this straight – you dump Mamoru because you're not happy and you feel as though everything's forced, even though its bloody perfect, then you realize that you are lusting after…me! So then you decide – 'huh. Instead of telling my best friend this, I'm going to try and seduce her into making a decision that she KNOWS is a terrible, TERRIBLE decision '– Do you realize how much of a convoluted thought process this is?"
"Of course I realize it's a stupid plan, but I'm not good at making plans and I had no idea what to do, you're my best friend and you can't deal when people confront you about really, really deep stuff and…"
"Usagi!" Rei stated firmly. She had enough of the younger girls rambling for an entire year, "Why would you go through all this just to try and sleep with me? Why not find another beautiful black-haired girl – plenty of those in Japan – or just stay with Galaxia? Do you realize how much freaking trouble that this…entire plot…has created for yourself? For me? For everyone…in the entire galaxy?"
"Because I honestly like you Rei!" Usagi cried out. Rei blinked, opened her mouth but Usagi shoved her hand into the other girls mouth, continuing, "no – no, you shut up for once, I like you not as a friend Rei, not as a sex-buddy, I like you like how I used to think I liked Mamoru – like, like... when I, when I see you… I feel happier and more fulfilled than anything ever has…Like…the galaxy aligns perfectly and I can take on anything when I'm with you. Yes, I want to touch you without holding back, I want to be able to bug you all I want, I want to kiss you…" Usagi paused, her voice wavering – she quickly looked down then back up and met Rei's Amethyst eyes.
Usagi took a slow, soft breath. Then she spoke slowly, but with that secret strength and bravery she hid so well, "I love you. Grumpy butt and all. I want you to want me as much as I want you. That's all…I came here because I know that I really, really suck at seducing. I had to think about how to be honest and confess that I love you more than anything I ever have or will in my entire life…and…" Usagi lowered her hand from Rei's mouth, "it's O.K if you don't feel the same way as I do. I just need to tell you how you make me feel, and how it strengthens me in ways I've never known…I know you probably don't return my feelings, Yet I need you to know just how much you mean to me – and that I'll be there for you no matter what."
The moon princess searched for any telling clues that could tell her what Rei was feeling. However the avatar of Mars was simply, emotionless. Her face a shut window with the blinds turned tight.
Just as quickly as it had come, Usagi's bravery began to fizzle out, "I…am going to go…and…" Usagi softly said as she turned away, "shove my head into an oven..." the hero of our galaxy walked away in a daze. Knowing not what to feel or to think. For she had just taken her destiny - the one handed to her in gold and wrapped in fairy dust – and spat on it. She decided to take the option unknown – like the rest of us –wrapped in foil and tasting bitter.
Rei stared, motionless. Her best friend, comrade and sworn princess of the galaxy had confessed long harboring feelings for her. She had confessed to trying to manipulate and goad her into reacting a certain way. Everything swirled in some messed up soup. The past two months or so had been a living nightmare…
She's leaving.
The moon princess was absolutely insane. She had the perfect conclusion to her story waiting for her. She had the happily ever after sitting at her feet. Why on earth was she risking all of it? Who in the universe would be that utterly stupid to throw it away? That was like, getting the winning lottery ticket and being like "oh, how kind of you, but no thank you" and ripping it to shreds.
She's walking away…
What did Usagi want her to do? Step out, agree that they should totally disregard everyone else, the future set for them and all this other bullshit that was pretty damn important? Did she want her to throw open her arms, declare that yes, in fact she was gay this entire time? What. The. Hell.
What am I supposed to do?
Rei watched Usagi walk away.
I should do what I've been told
Rei closed her eyes.
I should follow the rules I believe in
Rei, took a quiet, deep breath.
I should follow the safe, right, rational choice of action.
Rei opened her eyes.
Or... should I do what I've always dreamt, hoped and wished to do?
Rei stepped forward.
Her footstep forward resonated. The type of deep, rich sound was unusual in a park. You see, Rei had stepped onto a plank of wood. Why was that plank there? Was it a broken off piece from an old sand box? Perhaps from an outdated see-saw? A table? Someone brought it just for fun? In all truth, no one knows and will ever know why there was a plank of wood right there in the spot Rei was…
"Usagi." She said. The blonde girl stopped, and looked at Rei.
In three strides, Rei walked across the plank towards Usagi.
On the fourth, she stepped off, ending right in front of the Moon princess. Usagi opened her mouth, quizzical, about to ask something.
Rei wrapped her hands around the back of Usagi's neck and pulled her into a
deep,
searing
passionate
kiss.
Everyone stared, mouth agape. The world stopped spinning for that moment. No one breathed. The heavens looked down, shocked. The galaxy simply froze and stared.
Rei broke the kiss, Usagi gasped. Then, the black-haired girl pressed their foreheads together, their noses touching. Rei, in the quietest, softest, ghost of a voice, whispered,
"I love you, Tsukino Usagi."
Usagi blinked, absolutely stunned, "Really?" she whispered back.
Rei's cheeks flushed, "yes, you baka." She hissed, embarrassed. A huge grin then spread across Usagi's face and she wrapped her arms around the taller girl,
"You're such a grump." She giggled and kissed her again and again.
Someone cried out, "OH YEAH!"
Another yelled, "FINALLY!"
Someone screamed, "LIKE SIX FUCKING YEARS FINALLY!"
Very quickly, everyone started cheering and clapping and hollering. Haruka whistled, Makoto whooped, Michiru teared up, Setsuna cracked a rare smile and laughed while she gave a polite clap.
Usagi and Rei looked towards the crowd. Usagi, bashful and grinning, waved back to everyone. Rei, beet red, smiled as well. The moon princess then took the warrior of Mar's hand and both sprinted off.
Ami and Minako stood further away, still in shock. Silent.
Ami turned to Minako and gasped, "they did it. They actually did it."
Minako stepped off her bucket/podium. She fell to her knees. She looked up to the sky, kissed her fingertips and threw her arms outwards,
"The universe is glorious." She breathed out. It had worked. It had bloody worked.
Minako let out a yell of victory. Ami's reserved self took a hike for a moment when she jumped on Minako, laughing and embracing her. The senshi all ran over and hugged Minako, making a huge, laughing, yelling mass of crazy girls.
Yes, they had most likely broken several laws, broken several laws of ethics regarding privacy, broken several people's sanities, and broken many layers of trust – BUT it all didn't matter.
Because Hino Rei finally acknowledged that she was in love.
A little ways away, behind a tree, the two new lovebirds clutched each other while kissing with great hunger.
Because Hino Rei finally confessed to the person she was in love with.
Usagi ran her fingers through Rei's glorious hair. The moon princess giggled as Rei ran butterfly over her face and down her neck. "Rei, we're still in public you know." The blonde girl chided.
Because Hino Rei finally united with the love of her life.
Usagi gasped when Rei nipped underneath her jaw,
"I'm starting not to care anymore. " Rei said, her voice low, strong and serious; very Sailor Mars like. It sent shivers down Usagi's back
Hino Rei walked the plank.
An epilogue will come shortly. Thank you all for sticking with me. Sincerely. Sincerely. Oh god damn sincerely thank you.
