Memories Forgotten and Found
Chapters: 8
MY Word Count: 17,451
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything that is taken from that series. I also do not own the initial idea that set the ball rolling, which is the story of Anastasia (the version which inspired me was the 20th Century Fox Animated Movie). I also do not own anything that even reminds people of novels by Tamora Pierce, even though the concepts for Healing and generic magic were inspired by her. I also do not own any of the lyrics or songs which inspired each individual chapter.
GN: So, here we are at the eighth chapter. Things start to get a little tricky with the timeline here, and this is kinda where I ran into problems with my first version of this story. Hopefully it isn't too terrible and/or vague. If you have any questions, just ask in a PM or a Review (by the way, reviews are sadly lacking for this story, which makes me very sad and unwilling to write). If I get reviews, then my story will be updated bi-weekly if not weekly and thus be finished faster.
If you haven't noticed, the chapter titles have also been shifted. Each chapter was inspired by a specific song
or a lyric from a song, the hint is located in the chapter title, and there is a defined trend in the choice of songs.
I hereby challenge thee to decipher the titles and be the first to submit your findings in a review!
Chapter Eight: In Which Living is Easy With Eyes Closed
To no one's surprise, they made it back to the Den before the others were up, Lil gave James a disbelieving look when he told her that most of time they don't get up until noon.
"I'm just saying that sleep is valuable," he pointed out as she took the groceries from him.
"And I'm saying that that much sleep is ridiculous," Lil retorted. "Unless there are certain activities going on?"
James groaned. "Don't even get me started," he muttered, putting his head in a hand as he sat at the bar.
Lil smirked as she turned to the stove. After a minute, he could hear her muttering to herself as she wrestled with the functionality of their ancient stove. He chuckled and she rounded on him.
"Why don't you light it, then?"
James shrugged and crossed through the open doorway to help her. "This stove's always been a bit temperamental," he explained, taking her wand hand in his. He started muttering incantations, none of which worked.
As James became more noticeably frustrated, Lil began to mimic his disbelieving expression when he had discovered her frustration. The roles were switched, James was annoyed, and the damn stove wouldn't light.
"Fuck this," he muttered, kicking it violently.
The stove lit with a spark and a crackle.
Strangely, the situation could not have been more amusing as Lil succumbed to laughter. James glared at her, though his heart wasn't in it, and she laughed even harder, her legs giving out and accidentally taking James with her on a journey to the floor.
The two laughed for a few minutes before they managed to calm themselves down.
"Your stove is just-"
"Evil? The devil? The worst thing to grace any kitchen of man?" James joked, noticing that he still held her hand.
"I was going to say Voldemort incarnate, but any of those adjectives would do," Lil returned. "I should start breakfast," she said after a beat.
"Yeah," James replied lamely, getting up and blushing slightly as he took residence on top of the counter.
He watched her as she began preparing for what appeared to be eggs and pancakes. There was something rather familiar about her; about the way she talked, joked, and her nature. It couldn't possibly be her, but all the signs were there...
"Earth to James," Lil waved a hand in front of his face, startling him.
"What?"
"You okay?" Her eyes were absolutely gorgeous.
"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "yeah I'm fine."
"Okay, if you're sure," Lil smiled reassuringly, returning to her eggs.
"You remind me of someone I used to know."
Lil stopped for a moment, the topic taking her off guard. "I don't see how that's even possible, considering we've only met yesterday."
James shrugged as she tried to reach for an ingredient off a high shelf. "Let me," he reached up with ease and retrieved it. "It's probably just my imagination," he offered.
"Hmm. How do you like your eggs?"
"Scrambled, with salt and pepper, please."
Lil smiled at the eagerness of his response. "Does anyone else eat eggs here?"
James nodded emphatically, almost knocking his glasses askew. "Sirius likes the same, and Peter likes his fried."
Lil nodded, cracking an egg into the skillet which was by now laden with melted butter and another into a bowl for scrambled eggs. James' jaw dropped a little bit.
"You'll catch flies that way," she joked, adding a few more eggs and some water into the bowl before vigorously beating them.
James shut his mouth and continued watching her work. Lil added pepper, salt and some other things that James had no idea went into something as simple as scrambled eggs before turning her attention to the egg in the pan. Flipping that, she cracked a few more eggs into a separate bowl, beating them and adding various ingredients. By the time she was done with that, Peter's egg was finished.
"Go and get them up, will you?" Lil told James, a little nervous with him watching her every move as she mixed her pancake batter to an even consistency.
James hadn't even exited the kitchen before they were met with three very sleepy Marauders on stools across the counter.
"Morning boys," Lil smiled. In response, Sirius laid his head down with a soft 'thunk' on the counter, very nearly falling back asleep.
Rolling her eyes, she poured pumpkin juice into five cups, four of which she magically shot at the boys; James caught Sirius'.
"Mate, you gotta wake up in order to eat," Remus poked him.
"Fuck off, Remus," Sirius mumbled.
Lil dished up the eggs and provided utensils as three ravenous Marauders dug in. "Toast, Remus?"
He nodded and she disappeared, reappearing with a full plate of oddly looking toast. Remus shrugged and dug in anyway-food was food.
"Oh my God, this is awesome," Remus was shocked. "What did you do to make it so good?"
Sirius looked up from his nearly diminished plate of eggs as Lil shrugged and started making pancakes. "I want a piece," he said.
"Nick some from Remus for now, I'm busy," she answered.
"No way, food vacuum," Remus moved his plate as far away as he could. Sirius pouted and Remus sighed, giving him half a piece of his remaining slice of toast.
Peter rolled his eyes at James, who shrugged.
Soon enough, a platter of pancakes, maple syrup, fresh fruit and some toast was presented to the boys, who pounced on it. Lil leaned against the washbasin/sink, sipping from her pumpkin juice, a small smile on her face.
James frowned at her. "Aren't you going to have any?"
Lil shook her head. "I'm not hungry," she lied.
Peter looked at her with scrutiny and Sirius almost dropped his syrup and pancake filled fork on his lap.
"How can you not be hungry?" Sirius asked, aghast.
She shrugged. "I'm fine, really."
"You need to eat something, Lil," Peter interjected. "Healing doesn't work properly when you haven't eaten."
"I had some fruit, okay? Can you just drop it?" Lil snapped, gathering dishes to be washed. The boys said nothing.
"These are amazing pancakes," Sirius complimented, the sound muffled by the amount of food in his mouth.
Very shortly after, the pancakes, toast and eggs had been thoroughly demolished. The boys helped her with the dishes, manually putting them away as she magically washed and dried them, as well as helped her with straightening the general area, which was disheveled at best.
For lunch, the boys went to an inn, promising to bring Lil back something after she insisted that they go by themselves, if not for their company without her, then for her to get things done.
They returned shortly before tea to find that the laundry had been managed, and everything generally clean-feeling and refreshed; Lil was a good thing for the Den.
Peter and Remus retreated to the room while Sirius went on some sort of short adventure, leaving James and Lil to their own devices. James found Lil in the kitchen area, her back leaning against the counter area, her eyes closed.
"Hey there," he greeted softly. "You okay?"
Lil sighed as she opened her eyes, which were glassier than usual. "James-I don't-no," she finally admitted, wrapping her arms around her chest.
James enveloped her into a hug, and she stiffened for a moment, unused to the contact after so many weeks. He rubbed small, comforting circles on her back and after a moment, she started to shake.
"Hey," he whispered, "it's gonna be fine, you'll see."
He felt Lil shake her head. "No 's not."
"Don't ever say that; things will work out," James argued softly.
"Really, James?" Lil asked, her voice muffled by his sweater. "Because unless you can conjure up a place for me to stay, I have nowhere to go."
It was his turn to stiffen slightly as she finished her sentence. He didn't quite understand it, but from what Remus had told him, this was to be expected; something about not wanting to be a burden.
"You will stay here," he told her softly.
"I can't stay here, James," she protested lightly.
"You can, and you will," James replied firmly, turning Lil's face to look at his. She was silent for a minute, and he could almost hear the gears working in her head, before she nodded slightly.
He beamed at her. "Good," he squeezed her tightly. "We're so unbelievably happy that Peter tripped into you."
About an hour later, Sirius had returned from his "errand", and Professors Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall arrived for tea.
"How are you, Lil?" Minerva asked as soon as they were settled with tea. "I haven't heard a thing from you since you left-almost a month now, isn't it?"
Lil shrugged. "A month and a half, but I don't like dwelling on it. I left later than I should have in the first place." At the boys inquiring glances, she elaborated. "I was found in late December, close to the New Year, and while a Healer determined my age to be eight or nine, she couldn't establish my birthday. Technically, I should have left last December because it was the supposed 'eighteenth year', but I managed to hold on as long as possible."
Sirius grinned. "Smart cookie you are."
Conversation continued amiably, with many interesting stories being shared and the latest politics discussed. Apparently, the situation was direr than any of the young adults had thought. The Professors ended staying for dinner, a lamb stew, and leaving shortly after with promises to see them again soon.
The next few weeks passed in much the same fashion, but with a few minor differences-Lil was now stubbornly taking residence on the couch, giving James back his bed, and aside from individual relationships being cultivated, the group dynamic was the best it had been in years.
But, though they desperately wished it to be, not all was perfect.
Less than five miles away, a less amiable situation was transpiring. The Dowager Empress Marie Rebecca Evans had come to a decision, and would not be swayed. This is how four adults became immersed in a late-night discussion in Matthew Potter's study.
Marie was leaning against the fireplace, staring into the fading embers, her expression determined and exhausted. "I made a decision," she started the conversation.
Professor Albus Dumbledore, one of Marie's closest confidants was decidedly confused. "Marie, is something the matter?"
"Are you feeling ill?" Genevieve Potter asked.
Marie looked at the mother of her godson with pain in her eyes. "I'm exhausted, Gen. I don't know, anymore."
"Marie, what's this about?" Matthew Potter demanded.
"Every day, I see girls and young women who pretend to be little Lily, and every one I turn away because I know that they aren't. They look like her, they try to imitate her, try to remember things that only my Lily would know, and each one fails. It's been ten years, Matthew. If she-if she was alive, she would have surfaced by now. She's gone, and I can't continue pretending anymore," Marie spoke softly, but the raw pain in her voice made her words seem much louder.
"Marie," Albus started, panicking on the inside because he had received information about Lily and her whereabouts. "Think about this for a moment-"
"I have Albus," Marie interrupted. "I'm old and my heart can't take it anymore. Even if the real Lily came through that door at this very moment, I wouldn't see her because I know that it cannot be her. Lily's gone, and I have accepted that."
Genevieve started towards her, but unsure of what to say. She was terrified for the woman who had been so strong, so firm in her belief that Lily was alive and well; to see her crumbling showed that nothing was safe any longer.
Over the next week, tensions arose amongst the previous happy inhabitants in the Den. Lil was a little tired of the collective effort of Sirius, Remus and Peter in putting her and James together for every possible situation. She didn't want any complications, and from what she could understand, neither did he.
"Albus, Minerva," she greeted in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to speak with the boys," Albus answered. "May we come in?"
"Of course, of course," Lil took their cloaks and placed them in the closet. "Looks like a nasty storm is coming on quick."
"Indeed," Minerva answered.
"Would you like any tea? I was in the process of making some," Lil offered politely.
"If you would dear, thank you," Minerva answered, her smile a little strained.
Lil frowned. "What's wrong?"
Albus sighed as Minerva looked at him. "I told you she'd pick up on your gloomy attitude," she argued.
Lil turned into the kitchen and poured three cups of tea, adding honey and lemon to one, two teaspoons of sugar to the second and lemon and a spot of cream to the third, subtly eavesdropping on the minor argument between the professors.
"She's going to find out anyway, why shouldn't she know?" Minerva argued.
"Because she doesn't need to, Minerva."
"What shouldn't I know?" Lil asked, bringing out the tea.
"Where are the boys?" Albus asked calmly.
Lil shrugged. "Beats me. They've been disappearing a fair amount, though they're usually back by-"
"Speak of the devil," Minerva muttered.
"Good Morning Albus, Minnie," Sirius jovially greeted. "There any more tea, Lil Lady?"
"Help yourself, Sirius, it's your kitchen," Lil answered, a slightly unneeded emphasis on the ownership of the kitchen. Albus raised an eyebrow, concerned that their living situation might not be what everyone wants.
"Hello Albus, Minerva," Remus called as he brushed himself off. "It's snowing something terrible out now."
Lil motioned to Remus to give her his things and she went to hang them up as the other two Marauders appeared inside.
"What's up?" Sirius asked. "Now that everyone's here." Either they didn't notice that Lil had made herself scarce, or didn't care.
"It's about Lily," Minerva started.
"What about her?" James asked, concerned.
"Well, it's more about Marie, but...oh, you tell them," Minerva clarified, giving the reigns of the conversation to Albus.
"Marie has had enough of all of this," he gestured to everything. "She's decided to end the search."
"But we're so close!" Peter argued.
"It doesn't matter, Peter," Albus reiterated. "She's tired, she's old, and she-"
"Wants to quit," James inserted, his anger building.
Remus frowned. "What if we had Lily under our noses this whole time?"
"What?" Sirius asked.
"I spoke to you earlier about it Albus," Remus added. "What if she really is Lily?"
"Who is now?" Lil walked out of the laundry room and grabbed her tea.
"No one you know," James answered, a little too quickly.
She stared at him, an eyebrow almost raised as she finished her tea. The group was silent. "I see. If you'll excuse me."
She went back into the laundry room, breathing deeply as her mind raced with the possibilities. Was that the only reason they wanted me to stay? Because they think I might be that lost little girl? Was any of their concern real? What if it wasn't? What if that's the only reason that James...where can I go?
Her pack was already prepared, and for a moment, Lil contemplated taking the cloak that he had pulled out of the closet for her. Her own wasn't in that bad of shape, and Lil had repaired most of it over the last week, preparing for such a departure. She set it on the wash basin with the scarf he had given her, the clothing he had surprised her with was neatly folded next to it, and she made sure that anything else which wasn't hers was laid out so that they realized she wasn't coming back.
Opening the small window in the laundry room, she dropped her pack out the side, and contemplated leaving through that window. She decided against it.
Lil made sure to make some kind of noise as she exited the laundry room, pulling on her cloak. At their inquiring expressions, Lil gave a small grimace. "I'm just going for a short breather."
They collectively nodded as Lil calmly escaped through the front door. Probably the easiest escape I've ever managed, she thought amusedly.
The snow was almost violent because of the wind and sleet that accompanied it, perfect for a snowy owl to hide in.
Lil retrieved her pack, taking the view of the den in one last time. She must have taken longer than she thought because she heard Peter enter the laundry room and call to James in concern.
"Um, James, I think you should see this!" She stood there in fascination as she listened closely.
"Fuck! Where'd she go?"
James rushed out of the front door, searching for her; the only way she could see him was because of his hair. Quickly she ran, but he caught her by the hand.
"James, let go!"
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"Away from here, where you obviously don't want me!" She tried tugging on her arm, and succeeded in toppling them both into the quickly deepening snow.
"You aren't going anywhere!"
That statement made her freeze, and James took advantage of that fact to bring them both upright, starting to pull her back into the den.
She snapped back to reality, tugging back. He tugged harder. "Fuck you James!" She yelled and punched him in what she hoped was the face, then kneed him for good measure.
He released her, and she gave him one last look of scorn before she disapparated.
GN: Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Sugar is Sweet and So are Reviews!
P.S. The inspiration for Chapter Seven... "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles on 'Past Masters Vols. 1-2' (copyright 1988)
P.P.S. It's really sad for a writer when she has more favorites and author alerts for this one story than she has reviews. If you favorited or alerted your account to this story, you must have a comment about it, and even if you hate it, you still have a comment. It's not that I don't appreciate the following, I just hope that someone can take a little time out of their busy lives after they finish the chapter to press that blue hyperlink directly underneath the chapter text to tell me what they think. Most of you that follow this story aren't authors, but getting reviews when you're an unsure author is simply amazing. So please, for the sake of the story, review.
