We wish on stars because we think they are magic. Then we learn that they are nothing more but big balls of burning gas and dust, millions of miles away. Yet, they still twinkle and appear beautiful. They get reflected back to us in the eyes of those we love and we feel safe in the arms of those who will protect us. We know they will protect our dreams with their own lights.
Chapter 8 – He is a Lucky Light
Rapunzel held an ice back over her left eye. She had self medicated herself with two aspirin from her purse pill case and a bottle of water. The doctor who checked her out said she was fine; she had no concussion and no bruising around her neck, just a black eye. She sat in the lobby of the hospital, where she had been just a month earlier for herself. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she tried to be invisible. She was waiting.
The doctor had just come and told her that they were pumping her aunt's stomach.
"She's suffering from blood alcohol poisoning and a heavy dose of heroin. If she stays a few days, she should be fine." Rapunzel had barely listened. She was waiting.
She had called Eugene and told him what happened. She told him everything. Rapunzel had no idea why she did it, she just did. She needed something- someone who would hold her together. When she finished, Eugene hadn't said anything at first, then he asked which part of the hospital was she at. She told him.
"Stay there. I'm coming to get you." So, Rapunzel was waiting.
She didn't have long to wait. Eugene walked through the doors.
His face was flushed and he was panting. His clothes were disheveled, like he'd thrown on something nearby. Even his usual blue leather jacket looked haphazard, and leather does not wrinkle. He spotted Rapunzel immediately. He practically ran to her. She stood up and he didn't even ask her if she was alright. He just put his arms around her and held her as tight as he could.
"My, God," he whispered. Rapunzel did not embrace him back, she just breathed. Leather and Old Spice. It was so familiar now. He let her go and leaned down to her level. He gently brushed her hair out of her face to look at her black eye. "Did she do anything else to you?"
"No, Eugene," she said quietly. "Don't blame her. She was drunk and high-"
"That's no excuse." Eugene sounded angry. Rapunzel looked up at him. His brow was down in fury, like they were storm clouds and his eyes crackled with lightning. His mouth was a tight line and a vein twitched along his neck.
"But, she was," Rapunzel mumbled. Eugene sighed. He ran a hand over his face and down his neck.
"Do you want to go home?"
"Yes." Eugene put his arm around her shoulders and led her out of the hospital and to his car. It was a blue Toyota Corolla, but Rapunzel didn't really notice that. All she noticed was that it was cleaner than his apartment.
Eugene turned over the engine and pulled out.
He drove in silence. Rapunzel didn't even try to start a conversation. She had no desire to talk.
Eugene was forcing his breathing to sound even, but it was coming out too harsh. Rapunzel was not scarred; she was terrified. Eugene was angry. The carefree man she knew was angry. Her mind went back to what Max had told her earlier that day; Eugene was a time bomb and he could be violent. Though, she knew he would never hurt her, he might hurt her aunt, or worse, himself. And that shook her to her core.
They got to Rapunzel's house and Eugene turned off the engine. He didn't move. His hands fell into his lap and he stared at the steering wheel. Rapunzel did not move either, nor did she say anything.
"Rapunzel," he said at length, "get your things. You're coming to live with me." She didn't even turn to look at him.
"Why?"
"Because I can't let you be hurt again." Rapunzel stayed silent. She looked at him; Eugene's eyes glowed in the dim light of the street lamps. "Rapunzel, she could have killed you tonight and I cannot stand by and let you live in this house. You can't live with her anymore. You shouldn't have even been living with her in the first place. She's a danger to herself, threatening to self destruct. And she will, Rapunzel. I've seen it, and when someone self destructs, those around them do the same thing. I know; I've done it." Rapunzel said nothing. Her eyes moved to stare at her hands. "I do not want to see you hurt again, or worse, killed by that woman, or anyone else for that matter. Please, Rapunzel, don't fight me on this. Just, just come and live with me. I have another room you can use. My rent is paid for the next six months and-"
"Eugene." He stopped. Rapunzel looked out the front window shield. "I'm done." She looked at him. "I just need to get my stuff." Rapunzel got out of the car. She heard Eugene do the same. She unlocked the house door and went up to her room.
Rapunzel didn't use luggage. She just got two plastic trash bags and threw everything in: her clothes, her jewelry, her pillows, stuffed animals, her fabric. She found two plastic bins and packed up her art and sewing supplies and books. She put her portable sewing machine in its case and set it at the top of the stairs. Eugene came and got it. She really didn't have much. She had no treasures or mementos, just a picture of her and her parents as a happy family, right before everything went to hell. She put the two sacks and two boxes at the top of the stairs like she had the sewing machine. She then went back to her room and glanced around.
It had been her home for eleven years. It was not much of a home, but she had lived there. No, she had survived there; survived eleven years of pain, loneliness and unfulfilled love. Her aunt never wanted her. Her aunt never needed her. She was unwanted by her only family member.
But Eugene wants you, said a voice in her head that was not hers. She could only agree with the voice.
"Rapunzel?" Eugene called from down the stairs. "Are you ready to go?"
"Almost." Rapunzel left her room and went to her aunt's. She went to the night stand, opened the drawer and took out the pad of paper Donna kept there. She sat down on the bed and stared at the lined sheet. What was she doing? She took a pen, clicked it and put it to a line.
Dear Aunt Donna,
She scratched out 'dear.'
Aunt Donna,
She still did not like it, but it would have to do.
By the time you read this…
She scratched that out.
I've moved out. You always said you never wanted me, so, you got your wish; I'm gone. I know you won't miss me, so I guess we're even there. I know I never want to see you again, and I don't care if that sounds cold, but it is the truth. I'm done with you and I'll never let myself be used by you again. So don't expect me to model anymore.
Rapunzel
She read the letter. She wished she could say more, but she could not bring herself to. She left the pad on the bed and walked out. She walked down the stairs. Eugene was waiting for her, his hands in his pockets.
"Was that everything," he asked, jerking his head to the car outside.
"Yes. Let's go." They left. Rapunzel locked the door and left her key with the spare in the hideaway rock. Eugene put his arm around her and walked her to the car. He opened the door for her, then got in on his side. He turned the vehicle on and drove away.
Rapunzel did not look back at her aunt's house.
Eugene said nothing on the ride to his apartment; her apartment. He only drove. Rapunzel said nothing. She only looked straight ahead, contemplating the shadows the head lights made.
They got home and Eugene unloaded the car. He only allowed Rapunzel to take one bag. He told her to go take a shower, or get herself something to drink, but Rapunzel had no idea what to do. She did not do either of Eugene's suggestions. She only wandered around the apartment, looking at his things. Eugene put Rapunzel's boxes and bags in his spare room.
"I'll clean it out tomorrow for you. You can do what you want with it." Rapunzel nodded to signal she had heard. "Do you want something to eat?" Rapunzel shrugged her shoulders. She said nothing. Her eyes fell on Eugene's award for his poem.
"Eugene…can I hear your poem?" She looked at him. "The one that won the award. Lights." Eugene looked at her blankly, then went into his room. She heard him rummage a bit, heard him throw folders and binders to the floor. He came back with a piece of paper that had been folded multiple times. He sat down on the couch. Rapunzel sat next to him.
"Lights," he said, his voice becoming smooth. It was just one word, but he made it sound like water falling.
Come by the window, see the lights.
Step out of your ill-fit skin.
Leave your broken body behind; fly.
You are a bird, left to the cruelty of the wind.
Turn out the sun and flee the moon.
Do not succumb to what she brings; silence.
You have been wounded; I see it on your skin.
When I hold you, you tremble and you fight me to fly.
Do not fear me, like I am the wind.
I am not a harsh man, cruel like the moon,
Who only leaves silver traces and silence.
How can you leave me when you seek them with me; the lights?
I cannot follow you as you fly.
You flee from me, me your protector from the wind,
Your shield from the malicious moon.
She who seeks to harm you and bring your silence.
Come home to me; follow the path I've made with the lights.
Let their glow warm your skin.
Please, my love, I am not the wind,
Who has cut you and made blood with the moon.
I fear for your silence.
Please, I need you to see the lights
I have made for you; I need your skin
Against mine. Careful how high you fly,
She will see you, the vicious moon.
She will not rest until she knows of your silence.
Let me protect you; hide you in my circle of lights.
Let me save your tattered skin,
Before it is too late and you can no longer fly.
Escape! I hear him, the wind.
She raises her blade to ensure your silence
And she grins. I will not allow them to dim your lights.
I have no need of my own skin.
It is my turn to fly
And flee from the raging wind.
She will not have her victory, the evil moon.
At last, I can see the lights; I can touch your skin.
You promise you won't fly, that you'll never again flee the wind.
I have vanquished the moon, so why do you fear my silence?
Look at the lights I have made for you.
Eugene folded up the paper. Rapunzel shuddered from Eugene's words. It was hauntingly familiar, fleeing, not being able to escape. Never being able to escape; impossible and pointless. It was a sad and heartbreaking story Eugene had created. It left her feeling hollow, like she needed the glow of the lights from the poem. She placed a hand on Eugene's. He looked at her. She needed those clear, brown eyes to see her.
"Eugene," was all she could mange, before tears fell from her eyes.
Tears?
Rapunzel had learned to not cry long, long ago. She feebly wiped them away, but more came, streaming down her face. Everything washed out. A strained whine started in her throat; it turned into a broken cry, then a howl. She threw herself against Eugene, hiccupping and finding she could not breathe without her chest hurting. Eugene held her. He refused to let her go, easing himself and her down on the couch. He stroked her head, shushing her whimpers. She gripped his shirt in clenched fists, rubbing off her make-up. His arms were so strong, his hands gentle. He was warm. He was fire. He was her light and her protection from the wind and moon.
Rapunzel's sobbing eased into breathing and she slipped into a fitful sleep. Eugene did not move. He put a pillow under his head and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch. He looked down at Rapunzel. Her face was still red, her lashes still wet. Her eyebrows were knit up in a pained look. Eugene stroked her head again and kissed her crown. He rubbed her back and tightened his arms. She was so small; whatever wall she had built had shattered and she had not been able to contain the flood. How could anyone have ever been cruel to her? How could anyone be cruel to anyone else? Eugene knew rage, but he used it to defend himself, not to hurt others.
As he held her, Eugene swore to himself he would protect Rapunzel from all harm. She needed it. She was so small, too small to handle any more heartache.
His embrace never broke all through the night. He did not sleep and when the sun cracked through the windows and threw the colors of the glass bottles across the room, Rapunzel stirred. She woke up, surrounded by his gentle warmth and everything came back to her. She still had tears to shed and he whispered soothingly to her once more.
