Title: All That Counts
Author: Shannon – shannyfish
Disclaimer: Iron Man and Avengers do not belong to me, but Marvel Entertainment and Disney. This is for entertainment purposes only.
Rating: MA
Summary: Pepper accompanies Tony everywhere. The weapons demonstration for the military in Afghanistan is no different. An AU to "Iron Man".
Warning: none
Author's Note: I know this plotline has been done before, but hopefully this comes out as something different. Constructive criticism is as always appreciated! Check out my blog on my writing at
. . .
"Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts." -The Doctor ('The Doctor's Wife')
. . .
"Keep moving!" Rhosad shouted.
Pepper was having problems moving quickly in the sand with what she was wearing. She let the shawl drop to the ground and tried to gather up the skirt. She was wearing socks and they felt like they were making her slip even more. What she wouldn't give for shoes or boots. Something sensible.
She slipped and cried out as her ankle twisted in the sand. Pepper looked back and could see the men who had been following them on foot. Why they had abandoned their vehicle to follow on foot, she didn't know…but it was what was probably keeping them alive. A luck of fate. Reaching down, she pulled off both socks and started to get back to her feet. Rhosad helped her the rest of the way up and pushed her forward slightly.
"Go!" he yelled again.
She could hear the sound of an automatic weapon behind her and she looked over her shoulder just long enough to see that it was Rhosad shooting at the men following them. Pepper's eyes were streaming with tears. Not only was her body aching all over, but so was her ankle. She pushed anyways, determined to not stop again. Rhosad said that there was someplace she'd be safe. He hadn't said where or what it was…but she trusted him. She had to.
Her life depended on it.
But her body was done. She kept pushing, but she knew it was only a matter of time and it wouldn't be long. She wasn't supposed to be walking around so much. Yinsen had warned her that the journey that they had planned would take a toll on her body, but he'd planned on giving her pain medication. She'd only had one pill all day.
And she could feel everything…
Pepper didn't know if the adrenaline had hit her with a high and now this was her low, but she suddenly realized that wherever Rhosad had intended them to go was too far. It was too far for her to travel under her own steam. She couldn't do it.
She couldn't do it.
Tony…
Her mind wandered and she found herself collapsing into the sand as her legs gave in underneath her. She was missing her pants suddenly, no matter how badly they'd been…they would have been better to move around in compared to the dress she'd been told to wear.
"Zahara!" Rhosad yelled. "Get up! They're coming!"
Tears streamed down her face. She wanted to yell at him. To tell him that her name was Pepper. She didn't want the last word she heard before she was killed to be a name she was given while in captivity. She was Pepper, no matter what Raza said…no matter what her birth certificate said.
"I can't," she breathed.
Rhosad hauled her up to her feet and pushed her on once again. "You must! They will not kill you! They will rape you and hurt you! You must go!"
And she knew that he was right.
And it was enough to keep her going…
. . .
She didn't know how long they'd been moving. She'd look back here and there and it seemed like the number of people following them were dwindling. Pepper felt like she couldn't go another step or breathe. The wind had picked up and the sands were stirring. She knew it wasn't anything as extreme as a sandstorm, but to her…it felt like one.
"We are almost there," Rhosad said as he came up to her side and took one of her arms and put his other arm around her back in order to support her better. Pepper wasn't sure if it was helping or not. She was exhausted.
The sounds of motors, no…of vehicles…came up behind them and she didn't turn. She could see a faint scattering of trees up ahead and she didn't know she could be so happy to see trees. She had a feeling that that was where they had to go. That was safety.
It was so far!
Too far!
She wasn't going to make it!
Tears ran down her cheeks as she thought about Tony. She was so close! He'd promised that they'd go home today…and even though he hadn't been the one to get her this far, she was still so close to it… She could see the signs announcing the small city that lay before them behind barricades.
Camp Joyce.
It looked like it was US and Afghan forces working together. Pepper didn't care. She was just happy to see the US flag on the sign. It meant that they were going somewhere where she knew that she'd be safe. She didn't need to hide herself. And they'd know… They'd know who she was, she was sure. They'd know who Tony Stark was. They'd go and look for him…and they'd bring him home.
"Go!" Rhosad yelled. "I try to keep them busy!"
"They'll kill you!" Pepper argued as they came to a stop.
"I promised my brother I would keep you safe, Zahara… I will not break that promise," Rhosad told her with a small smile. "Now, you must run!"
"I can't go any farther," she said, tears still streaming down her face.
"You get close enough, they will see you are a woman. They will come and get you. Now go! Do not worry about me!"
And she didn't want to go, but she knew that she had to. The vehicles were almost there. She needed to get close enough. Maybe the vehicles wouldn't go close to the base. She didn't know. For all she knew, the base was used to full on assaults. But as she pushed herself she could make out figures at the base. She didn't know how the base operated, but she just hoped that the people out front wouldn't shoot first.
The doors to the camp opened and Pepper realized that she was still covered up. She looked back at Rhosad, who was shooting at the trucks. She tried to suck in breath as and she reached up and started to untie the scarf. She saw the military vehicles at the gate and she wondered what they'd think. All she knew was that not being a woman was enough…any man could hide in woman's clothing and approach it.
The scarf dropped from her fingers, Pepper let the blue scarf fall to the sand and left it behind. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. Her red hair flowing in the wind. She hoped that it was enough. That they'd at least recognize that she wasn't a local. She didn't think any of the locals had light hair.
The trucks moved forward towards her and she just dropped into the sand. She sobbed and just hoped that they would stop to help her. Pepper looked back and saw that the other vehicles were moving back, but she couldn't see Rhosad. It was a blur behind her and the sand that was being kicked up didn't help anything.
The military vehicles stopped near her and when she finally looked up, she saw faces smiling down at her. "Are you Virginia Potts?" the man asked.
Pepper just nodded as the tears continued to stream down her face.
"We're going to get you safely inside, Ma'am."
"The man I was with—"
"Mr. Stark?"
"Yes…no…" she struggled to make sense. "Tony is still out there… I don't know where he is… But there was a man who was helping me… His name is Rhosad… Please…those men…I don't know…he helped me…" she said as she looked back and was starting to lose hope that Raza's little brother was still alive.
"We'll go check on things," the man said and signaled the other vehicle. "But we're going to get you inside and have a medic look you over."
"Tony—"
"I'll put out word for him as well."
"Rhodey," she whispered. Pepper suddenly wondered about Rhodey. Did these men know what had happened to the convoy they had been apart of? Would they know if there had been survivors? Would they know if Rhodey was one of them? "Colonel Rhodes," Pepper said as they helped her up into the vehicle. "Do you know if he's alive?"
The man smiled. "He's alive, Ma'am. He's been on all of our asses to keep an eye out for you… He's not far. Kabul. Not far. He'll be down here once he hears you're here."
Rhodey was alive.
Pepper's mind flew. She tried to contain herself. There were so many emotions hitting her right now and she hated looking like a blubbering mess. She knew that once they contacted Rhodey that he'd pass along the word home… He'd tell Obadiah and Happy. And hopefully they'd send out search teams of some kind to find Tony…
He was alive.
Pepper was sure of it.
Tony was out there and he was alive.
. . .
Pepper wasn't sure of how much time had passed. They'd taken her to the medical building and she'd been assigned to a female medic. She was sure that this was intentional. She had to admit, she appreciated it. She'd been surrounded by men for far too long. She didn't even know how long. She hadn't thought to ask. She just wanted them to find Tony… They hadn't even told her if they'd found Rhosad… She supposed that they were probably waiting.
"I'm going to need you to remove your clothing, Ma'am… I'll get you a gown you can wear," the medic said.
"No," Pepper whispered.
"Ma'am?"
"I need to be ready when they find Tony," Pepper told her. Her tears had all dried up and she was fairly sure that her eyes were too dry to produce anymore. Everything hurt. It wasn't just the injuries that she'd already sustained… It was the bottoms of her feet, which felt like they were burned… Her face felt raw…
"Can I get you to at least drink some water?" the medic asked. She held out a bottle to Pepper.
Pepper accepted it gratefully. "Thank you," she told the other woman as she twisted the top.
"Drink it slowly, though… I have no doubt that you're suffering from dehydration and your body needs you to take it slow as much as you might want to gulp it down," the medic said. "I'll be right back."
Pepper nodded and sipped on it. It did take her willpower to keep from gulping it down. It wasn't even cold, but it tasted so good. It felt so good…
It took her a while, but she realized that the medic hadn't returned.
Maybe she was telling someone else how she wasn't cooperating. Pepper didn't care. She wanted to wait for Tony. The exhaustion was hitting her, though… She watched the clock on the wall and wondered how long she'd been there… How much time had passed? Were they out looking for Tony? How long would they look? How far?
"Pepper!"
She didn't move. Pepper was literally ready to drop. She hurt all over and the journey had been physically and emotionally exhausting. She wondered if they'd just let her sleep there… If they could just leave her alone… She'd sleep now and then she'd do whatever they wanted later…maybe…if they'd found Tony…
"Pepper," the voice said again. Her eyes were half closed, but they opened a bit more when Rhodey came into sight. He crouched down in front of her. "Pepper? You okay?"
"Hi," she whispered. A small smile formed on her lips.
"Hi," he replied with a smile.
"Tony—"
"I already know," he told her. "I have people out there… They're looking for him… They'll find him…"
"We thought you were dead," she admitted, suddenly sad. The memories hit her and tears streamed down her face. They'd been in the humvee with Rhodey and they'd come under attack. She remembered that Tony had wanted to ride in a different one, but she hadn't allowed it. Both of the humvees in front of them had been hit and Pepper had suspected that there were no survivors…
"I thought the same for you two," he said and reached out to gently cup her cheek. "But you're safe now… You've got to let them look you over…"
"I'm fine…"
"Pepper," Rhodey said. "You've been here for months… In all that time, can you tell me that no one ever touched you?"
She looked away. "They didn't rape me," she whispered. Pepper was sure that that was what the medic and Rhodey were worried about. She'd come to them dressed in different clothes and she'd been held… She couldn't blame them for thinking that…or for worrying… "They beat both of us," she said suddenly and turned back to Rhodey. "And then the man…he was trying to help me…even though I didn't want to go…he said I wasn't going to be safe if I went home…"
"Why would he say that?"
"I don't know," Pepper told him as she just stared. She wasn't staring at Rhodey. The clock kept distracting her. How much time had passed? How long had they been looking for Tony? How long would they search?
"You've got to let them look you over, Pepper," Rhodey told her again.
"When they find Tony—"
"Do you think Tony would want you to wait?"
Pepper's eyes felt like they were going to fill with tears, but they didn't. She wasn't sure why she wanted to cry so badly… If it was just the mention of Tony? She didn't know. She felt like her emotions were just so out of control. Maybe it was because she needed to sleep.
"Pepper…he's going to kick my ass if he finds out that I didn't make sure you got care when you got here," Rhodey told her. "Let them look you over… I'll make arrangements… Make sure you get a shower, a hot meal, and a bed…"
"Will you stay with me?" she asked. "After the medic—"
"I don't think you want me there in the shower with you," Rhodey teased.
A shower did sound good, but she didn't think she could stand in there on her own. "Have you called Obadiah yet?"
Rhodey nodded. "And I called Happy… Obadiah's on his way here… he said he's bringing clothes for both of you… He was hoping to be here when they found Tony, but I'm hoping that we'll find Tony first." Pepper nodded. "And Happy's response was…it's about damn time…"
Pepper smiled at that. How she missed Happy. The two of them were normally always with Tony. She was sure that he'd felt alone and she didn't know if Obadiah would have assigned him to do anything else in their absence or if he'd just had down time.
"I'm going to go get the medic," he told her. "I won't be far if you need me." He got up and headed for the door.
"Rhodey?"
"Yeah?" he asked as he turned back to her.
"How long have we been here?" she asked.
Rhodey frowned. "Too long…"
"Rhodey…
"Five months…"
. . .
Pepper sat in the bottom of the shower and just tried to cry. The medic had helped her at first. There was a bar in there, so it had helped her to stand…and they had a shower chair. She didn't want any of it once she was washed clean. It felt amazing to actually feel clean… Her skin had practically sung and though she'd 'washed' here and there during their captivity, it wasn't the same. Her whole body felt fresh and cleansed. And yet…she still ached… She'd convinced the medic to leave her… She was washed, but she just needed to be alone… The medic had seemed hesitant, but had eventually agreed. She would be close by if Pepper needed anything though.
She tried to cry.
Tears didn't fall.
She'd cried herself out.
It didn't matter.
Curled up in the bottom of the shower, she sobbed quietly. She had tried to keep quiet, afraid that the medic would panic and come in and drag her out. She wasn't ready to leave yet. The water felt soothing in a way as she lay there curled up.
Five months…
They'd been there for five months…
When she'd been in that cave, it had felt more like five years, but now…now she wondered how that much time could have passed… She'd tried to think back and think about what had happened and what chunk was a month and what was three…and she couldn't figure out how it all added up to five months… She felt like she needed a piece of paper to write everything down…to try to timeline it…
Five months…
Was that why it hurt to be away from Tony so much? She'd been with him and Yinsen pretty much all hours, every day, for five months… And now, she felt so lonely and empty. She'd felt horrible when Rhosad had been taking her away… Was that really it? She missed them? She missed Tony? She missed his arms around her, his forehead against hers, and his lips to her forehead?
Five months…
What had changed in the outside world?
What had she missed?
What had they missed?
Five months…
All that lost time…
"Ma'am?" the medic called.
"Just a minute," Pepper mustered as she tried to calm herself down. She forced herself up into a sitting position and reached up to turn off the water. She wiped her face, though there were no tears. She rubbed her face hard and tried to tell herself to breathe.
They would find Tony.
They had to.
Reaching up, she grabbed the bar along the wall and pulled herself up. She ached all over. It hurt to stand. It hurt to walk. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to be alive. Slowly, she made her way to the door and grabbed the towel that was waiting and wrapped herself in it. She opened the door just a bit to see the medic standing there.
"I know it's not much, Ma'am…but I figured it would fit for the time being. Colonel Rhodes said that there's clothing on its way for you that'll be more suitable," the medic told her.
"Thank you," Pepper said grateful to have something clean to change into. She took them and closed the door again. She sighed and set the clothing on the small bench that was right outside of the shower. She just hoped that the medic wouldn't panic if she took her time. She just really wanted to be left alone…unless they were there to tell her that they'd found Tony.
. . .
"They say you're not eating," Rhodey said as he approached Pepper. They'd talked about putting her in a room by herself, but she'd told them not to go to so much trouble. She didn't need her own room and really…watching all of the people in the medical ward made her remember that she was safe and with people who were going to keep her that way.
"I'm not hungry," Pepper told him.
He took a seat next to her bed. He looked over at the food tray that was on the table beside her bed. He looked back to her, he obviously wasn't very thrilled with the fact that she'd only moved stuff around. At least she'd touched it.
"What have you eaten in the last five months?" Rhodey questioned.
"Soup…and…soup…" She remembered when they'd first gotten there and Yinsen had made soup and she'd been completely disgusted by it. This morning, she'd been happy to eat as much as she could. It wasn't normal for them to eat so much.
"I can't imagine it was very hearty…"
"Probably not," she whispered and looked down. "I don't even know what was in it…"
"At least eat Jell-o or pudding…or ice cream…something," Rhodey requested. "I'll go to the mess and get you anything you want… Just…please eat something."
Pepper looked up at him and she could see it in his face. The medic had talked to him. She was sure of it. "What did she tell you?"
"That as far as she can see, you weren't sexually assaulted… That you've been badly beaten… That you're malnourished and dehydrated… The bottom of your feet are a bit burned and cut…" Rhodey said, voice was so sad. He frowned. "We've been looking, Pep—"
"I know," she told him. Pepper sighed and reached out and grabbed the red Jell-o on the tray and the spoon. She decided she'd eat it, just for Rhodey. "You do realize, this has no nutritional value…"
"It still makes me feel better," he told her with a slight smile.
Pepper removed the lid and took a bit of the Jell-o. It wasn't so bad. It was probably really the best thing to eat. They had brought her broth and other things that weren't too hard on your stomach, but she still hadn't thought any of it was very appetizing.
"When did they beat you?" he asked.
"I don't know," she told him honestly. "Days…week ago…two… I don't know… It feels like longer… Yinsen told me I had to be on bed rest for so long… The swelling was bad… He and Tony did something to make ice using chemicals…or something… The swelling started to finally go down… I just started moving around the other day…"
"Why? Did they tell you?"
She frowned. "Are you trying to play counselor or is it for intel?" she asked. Pepper really wasn't sure why he was asking. She was sure that there had to be some reason. She didn't mind telling him, she just preferred not to relive it all now that she was safe.
"Both I guess," Rhodey told her honestly with a shrug. Maybe he felt like if she talked to him then she wouldn't have to talk to someone later… Having someone she knew did make it easier though… She was sure that he knew that she could handle all of the questions or else he wouldn't be asking…plus, it was a distraction. She needed that.
"Because Tony made an arc reactor—"
"One of those things at Stark Industries?"
Pepper nodded. "A miniaturized version… He has shrapnel pressing against his heart. Yinsen designed an electro-magnet to sit in his chest that had to be hooked up to a car battery to keep it away. Tony made the arc reactor to replace it. Raza wasn't happy that Tony wasn't building him the Jericho…so he punished me."
"So, they just beat you?"
Pepper took a couple more bites of Jell-o. "Raza's men beat me with bricks…or stones…I couldn't be sure…" She looked up and saw Rhodey's face. He looked like he was ready to break down. She couldn't be upset with it right now. Her body was feeling better. She'd showered and the warmth had done wonders for her along with the dosage of pain pills.
"Who's Yinsen, Pepper?"
"Someone that Raza had already there… A doctor of some kind. We really didn't talk about it. He saved Tony's life. He helped Tony with what he built… And he told me how to stay safe in there," Pepper told him. She wondered if he thought that Yinsen was a figment of her imagination… She wouldn't be surprised, but she was fairly sure that he was a real person…and she hoped that they'd find him safe with Tony.
"Raza's the man in charge?" Rhodey asked.
"He worked for someone else," Pepper told him. "He was hired to kill Tony… He apparently just thought he could use him to build Jericho missiles too…" She was quiet a moment. "He might have ordered his men to beat me…but he protected me… He killed three of his men who tried to rape me… He sent me with his brother…he said it was so that I was safe…" She still wasn't sure what to think about that, but she was leaning towards that he was taking care of her in his own way.
"But he still beat you," he pointed out and seemed upset.
"His men did," Pepper corrected. She finished her Jell-o and found that she was overwhelmingly tired all of the sudden. She'd felt it earlier, but then once she'd hit the shower it had rejuvenated her. Now, it was hitting her again. "Did they find Rhosad? He had been trying to get me here before those men got to us…"
"No," Rhodey said. "They didn't find him."
She looked away and slouched down in the bed. Rhosad had been younger…he still had so much life left…she didn't know whether to think that he was alive and okay or if they'd taken him to kill him… She wondered if Rhodey thought that she had some kind of Stockholm syndrome…
"He's out there," she whispered. "Tony…"
"I know, we're going to find him," he told her.
Pepper blinked her eyes a few times, feeling sleeping tugging at her. She settled down further into the bed. She turned so that she was looking at Rhodey. "You'll wake me if they find Tony?"
"Yeah."
"You'll stay?" she requested. It wasn't that she was scared…it was just that if she started to scream or something…she wanted someone to be there to wake her up that she knew. Pepper blinked her eyes again, trying to keep her eyes open. She felt so heavy.
"Right now," Rhodey told her. "They're going to bring me something to eat."
She smiled. "Feel free to eat mine," she told him as she lay on her side and allowed her eyes to close. Pepper clutched the pillow and savored the feeling of a bed. Really, this wasn't a real bed…but it was far closer than the mattress she'd been sleeping on in the cave. She missed his arms though… The comforting glow of the arc reactor… His touch…
Tears fell from her eyes.
Pepper was sure that Rhodey saw, but she didn't care. She just lay there with her eyes closed and tried to think of Tony and his arms around her, his forehead pressed against hers, and his comforting words…
Tony…
. . .
TBC…
