~ Hey guys! Alright, so I decided since so many people have messaged me that the story shall go on! Even farther than it already has! So, don't get too freaked by the ending of the last chapter! *wink wink hint hint* This chapter is kinda long so don't be afraid to pace yourself because I don't know if I'll be posting tomorrow. Onto the overview! ~
Overview: Jace and Clary make up, while Clary promises to no longer keep secrets. Little does Jace know, Clary is hiding possibly the biggest secret that can change their future. Clary continues to have dreams that scare her and her fears grow stronger. Will Jace eventually find out on his own? How long does their promise live on strong? Will Clary's dream come alive?
Chapter Eight
*Clary's dream*
Darkness. All there was, was darkness. She sat in a cold, damp, dark room. She couldn't see herself, but she was her. Her eyes drifted back and forth when finally a bright light shone from middle of the ceiling and was cast onto the floor. Her surroundings weren't familiar at all. It was just a dull room. Nothing was in the room, just dull.
Then she saw it. Blood. Blood was everywhere. It pooled around her and was dripping down her legs. This wasn't just any blood, but it came from her. Her hands were stained with blood, but she had no wound. Her hand reached for her stomach and she felt a sharp pain. Then it was gone. The pain, the feeling, the blood, the bump… it was all gone.
Clary woke up crying. These weren't Jace's tears, but her own. Her hand traveled to her stomach and she felt a slight bump and no pain. Her body slowly rose in the bed and there was no pool of blood around her. She was okay, the baby was okay.
A hand rested on her thigh, "Sorry if I woke you".
Her head turned to the side and she saw Jace. His eyes didn't meet hers and she could see so much hurt in them, "You… didn't I just… it was just… a dream," she said slowly.
"Nightmare?" he asked calmly. That tone had so much compassion in it and it made her want to reach out and kiss him deeply. Even a light brush of the lips would be fine, she just needed to feel him.
She nodded slowly, "Yeah, you could say that".
"Abouuut?" he asked waiting for an answer.
"Nothing, it was nothing," she replied. She felt awkward, and exposed. Jace had fallen asleep in his clothes next to her. Was he still able to even look at her?
"You were crying Clary," he said and his hand traveled to her arm, "It was clearly something".
She shook him off and stood up, "It was nothing," she replied sharply. She wasn't ready to tell Jace, not yet, "I guess I slept over, huh?"
"Well you fell asleep in the bathroom, so I carried you to your room. You didn't look to well so I stayed here…," he said trailing off. Still, he hadn't made eye contact with her.
They sat in silence, not knowing what to say. Clary had no idea where to begin. So much struggled to pour beyond her lips, but all she could manage was what it all would lead down to, "Jace… I'm sorry," she began, "and I know that if… if you decide t-to well you know… I understand," she finished and held back the tears that wanted to pour out.
When he just sat there and stared at the bed, she decided to walk into the bathroom. She apologized to Jace and she didn't know what else to do. Since he had brought her to her room, under the sink in the cabinet there were pregnancy tests. It was just a dream, but it felt so real. If this baby that no one knew about died…she didn't even know. There was something about holding a life inside her that felt so… so amazing. You just get attached.
After she followed the instructions she put the stick on a towel and put it under the cabinet once more. If Jace saw it, it would make the situation worse, and at least they had some contact that wasn't too negative. Telling Jace she was pregnant would be like a bomb going off in those eyes, and plus, she didn't want to start a new topic between her and Maryse.
She walked out of the bathroom door, expecting Jace to be gone, but he wasn't.
"Do you honestly think you could get rid of me like that?" Jace said playfully.
"Well shit, I tried," she said and it made him chuckle.
"Clary, in all seriousness, I love you and-"
Clary cut him off, "Jace, I know. I know you do. I never doubted it. It just felt like we got so distant…," she trailed off. She didn't know how to put it, but her and Jace hadn't been her and Jace. They had been back to the awkward stages and the distant stages, at times it felt like even before they met.
"Yeah," Jace said and he walked up towards her. He wrapped his arms around her and she felt it again.
The heat, the warmth, the love, the tingling, the strength, Jace. It was her Jace. It was the Jace that she had fallen in love with and the hugs that made everything better. Before she knew it, she was crying. His grip tightened and he kissed the top of her head. He stood there, holding her, comforting her, and making her feel like Clary again.
"Just promise me one thing?" Jace said softly in her ear.
Her head was pressed against his muscely chest and her arms were wrapped around his waist, "What?"
"Don't keep any secrets from me," he asked. He sounded almost sad. Maybe, it saddened Jace to think she had kept secrets from him.
Clary didn't know how to reply. Seeing, she already had been keeping a secret from him currently all she could manage was, "Okay,".
When their embrace had ended he kissed her softly and said he had some errands to run. Clary sat on her bed and half smiled. Jace and her were on better terms again, but there was still that secret of their child. Her smile faded at the thought of their child. It was growing inside her.
That reminded her of her strip she hadn't check yet. The walk from her bed to the bathroom was the scariest walk of her life. It was the walk of life or death. That walk could lead to either her baby's life or her baby's death. She stepped slowly, one foot at a time. Each step felt like a pounding to the heart and a shooting pain up her leg.
Kneeling down to the cabinet was the alarming moment when she noticed that she would have to tell Jace no matter what the news. Alive or dead, she would need to tell Jace. She had really promised this time. The strip was laying there and haunting her thoughts. Tears already streamed down her face before she even knew anything. Her hand reached out to grab the strip when Isabelle appeared in the doorframe.
"Hey Cla-," she started but she stopped when she noticed it, "Clary… are you?"
"Last time I checked but I don't know. Isabelle I might have lost it," Clary tried to say without crying, but it didn't work out too well.
Isabelle kneeled down next to her, "Look at it Clary… you have to," she said softly.
Clary didn't waste anymore time. She looked at the strip and a sigh of relief came from her lips, "I'm still pregnant," she said but then noticed what she had said. She was pregnant. Eighteen and she was pregnant, without her boyfriend even knowing. A large cry left her. She gasped for air, but the crying wouldn't stop.
Isabelle sat next to the collapsed Clary and rubbed her back, "Shh, it's going to be okay, Clary. This is a life. Yes, you're young but Jace… he won't leave, trust me," she said and Clary believed it, but she didn't know how she would tell him.
*Later in Isabelle's room*
"Wow, you think the dreams mean anything?" Isabelle said in shock.
Clary had told her everything about her dreams of the blood and the pain, "Does it mean losing the baby?"
"No idea… that's usually what happens, but the pain you're describing… it's different," she said and sighed with defeat.
Clary just shook her head, "I guess we'll find out…"
"Clary, you know this baby is going to grow fast, you better tell Jace soon".
"Yeah, I know. Shadowhunter babies grow faster I know, I know".
"Don't hold anything else back Clary… you have to tell him," she said and Clary agreed.
She said her goodbyes to Isabelle and headed toward his room. Jace's room was home to her. Laying there with him was her world and what she wished she could do forever without a single worry. It wasn't like that, though. They couldn't stay in a single room together forever because there was a whole other world she didn't want to exist. When they were together, that was the world.
She knocked on the door and he answered immediatly.
"Why are you always shirtless when I come knock?" she asked playfully and stared at his chest.
"I figured it would be inspiration for your sketching," he said and smirked.
She lightly punched his chest and walking inside his room. He continued to organize his shirts and she watched him. The way his body moved with the simple gestures such as closing a drawer.
"Jace… we need to talk…," she said in a soft voice.
He didn't turn, "About?"
She hesitated. Was now a good time? Was she really ready to tell him the same day they stopped fighting? She walked up to him and kissed his lips. She needed this. Clary didn't care if she had a baby inside her, she didn't care at the moment if Jace didn't know. All that mattered was that her lips were touching his and he didn't deny the kiss.
Jace POV:
Her lips felt like hope. The soft curve of her back felt fragile against his hand. He pulled her close to him because all he could think about were those lips. Those lips that got him lost in her were collapsing onto his and he couldn't stop it, neither did he want to.
He brought her to the bed and she strattled his lap and that's what they did. They kissed. He loved feeling her against him. It didn't matter what they were doing, it was just that fact that they were together and close. This was them, and they were back with no worried. Just their bodies colliding and making their own love and warmth spread within each other.
After their passionate kisses had ended Clary burried herself in his shirt and cried. She confessed how much she really loved him, missed him, and threw all her apologies out there. He accepted them, of course, and he let her cry. He let her emotions take over the moment because she was his Clary, and he would do anything for her that made her feel better.
"Jace… oh… wait… I think I-" and she got up and ran to the bathroom.
He followed her and she leaned over the toilet. She threw up several times and he held her hair back, "Has my kissing gotten that bad?"
She chuckled, "No, it's just some sickness that's all," and she went to brush her teeth.
"Sickness?" he question confused.
"I haven't been feeling good," she replied awfully quick.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just honestly need some sleep, it's been a lazy day, but I'm so tired," she said and headed towards his bed, "Can I sleep here tonight?"
"Of course," he replied and cuddled her up to him. Their legs intertwined with each other and they stayed like that through the night.
*Clary's dream again*
Darkness. All there was, was darkness. She sat in a cold, damp, dark room. She couldn't see herself, but she was her. Her eyes drifted back and forth when finally a bright light shone from middle of the ceiling and was cast onto the floor. Her surroundings weren't familiar at all. It was just a dull room. Nothing was in the room, just dull.
Then she saw it. Blood. Blood was everywhere. It pooled around her and was dripping down her legs. This wasn't just any blood, but it came from her. Her hands were stained with blood, but she had no wound. Her hand reached for her stomach and she felt a sharp pain. Then it was gone. The pain, the feeling, the blood, the bump… it was all gone.
Clary shot up in bed again and screamed. She lay a hand on her stomach and cried. Not again. Jace had a comforting arm around her, clearly used to her having a nightmare. Definately wasn't the first time she had one, so he didn't question it.
"I'll go down to your bathroom and get some cloths for your head. You're sweating and I'm all out," Jace said and headed out the door, but Clary felt different. There was a dampness in her panties. It didn't feel right, she didn't feel right.
Jace POV:
He reached her bathroom and couldn't find her cloths, "Damnit Clary, so messy," he said under his breath. He searched high and low and finally decided to check under the sink. He opened up the cabinet door and then paused. There was a strip next to a pregnancy test box. His eyes went wide and his heart skipped a beat. Slowly, he picked up the stick, curious, and it came out positive. He stared at the stick for several moments. He looked, then slightly smiled. Clary hadn't told him. Clary hadn't told him! But then he heard a scream come from upstairs.
Clary POV:
There was her fear. There is was. In her panties. The red stain. The blood. The leaking. Not period, but something different. Then, there it was. A sharp pain went through her stomach and she screamed at the top of her lungs.
"JACE! ISABELLE!... someone…," she whispered the last part. Her voice had gotten softer and the pain increased. There is was, the pain, the blood, her dream. It was all coming alive.
~Hey guys! Sorry so long, but hopefully you'll have some ideas about the new chapters! Keep the reviews coming and like I said, I can't promise any updates this weekend, but I'll try! Love you all and I can't believe how many people have viewed! Thank you to all who read, follow, review, or all of the above! Until next time lovelies3 -SeductiveLove101 ~
