Chapter 8: Distraction
Sarah smoothed down the folds of her lightweight blue skirt and then adjusted the bottom of her lace cream top. Her fingers fiddled with the bow ribbon accent only for a minute before gathering her courage and knocking on the door to Voldemort's study. The house elf had showed her the way, but left her at the end of the hallway. She couldn't say that she blamed her. Her hair was still wet, Voldemort holding her wand hostage. She had wrung it out the best she could but she could feel the wetness of her hair seeping down her back, wetting the lace top she wore.
"Enter"
Sarah pushed the door open to the study. She looked around the room. Wood panneling, a lush carpet in the middle of the floor, a fire roaring in the fireplace, a couch along one wall and a large desk on the opposite wall. A few bookcases, but not an impressive amount…
Voldemort was sitting at his desk, deep in thought, his look contemplative. He was working…
"Is this the library?" She asked, shifting awkwardly in the middle of the floor. She frowned…maybe she should have started with hello. Or maybe she should have remained silent until he said something to her. This was just so bloody impossible to know what to do.
He was silent, still working. She shifted again. "Should I have started with hello or not said anything at all?" she asked, trying to keep the nerves from out of her voice.
"Do not second guess yourself" Voldemort looked up from where he was scribbling on a piece of parchment, "And to answer your question, this is my personal study. I'll show you the library tomorrow if you'd like"
"May I look at your books?"
"No"
"Alright then" Sarah tapped her hands against the side of her skirt.
"You can sit though if you'd like though" he frowned at the sight of her wet hair, still dripping, pushing himself up, his hands planted on his desk, "I don't want the back of my leather sofa wet. Your hair is dripping"
"I'm sorry, I don't have a wand. I didn't think you wanted me to attempt the spell wandlessly"
"Absolutely not" Voldemort swiped his wand at her direction, instantly drying her hair and the back of her shirt. "Better?"
She nodded, "Much, thank you"
"Now sit" he gestured to the sofa.
Sarah went over and sat on the leather couch as he leaned against the front of his desk, casually. "You took a long shower"
"You said I could"
"I'm not criticizing, only commenting" he studied her, his hands twined, "Are you in a more agreeable mood than earlier?"
She paused, unsure of how to respond, "I'm trying to be" she finally said.
"Try harder" he said sternly.
"I will" she fought the urge to squirm under his stern gaze, "May I ask you a question?"
"Certainly, though I may not answer"
"Why can't I look at your books?"
"You can in the library, though I want to know what you are reading, especially if you borrow the books to take to your room" Voldemort said, but then he pointed to his bookshelves, "These books…they are my personal library and to be quite honest with you, many of them are not appropriate for you yet"
"Not appropriate?" she looked up at him, quizzically, "Like sexually?"
He laughed outright at her expression, "No, though some of them are. I more meant the books that deal with dark magic"
"I thought you wanted me to learn that" she asked, frowning.
"I want to teach you myself not have you fiddling around with these books. The spells contained in these books are dangerous. In the ordinary wizard's hand, I shudder to imagine what havoc it would wreak…"
"I see" she nodded, "I won't touch them"
"Much like how Snape demanded you keep your hands off his potions" Voldemort continued, "It's a similar situation"
"I kept my hands off his potions"
"Did you, Sarah?" his eyes were on her, studying her reaction. "Did you always?"
She fought the flush, "Most of the times"
"Uh huh" Voldemort's expression never wavered, "My consequences will be similar to Snape's"
She nodded, "I understand"
"Make sure that you do" he retorted.
She searched to change the subject, "What is this room for?"
"Me" Voldemort said, "I conduct business here with small groups of my death eaters, I study here. I strategize here"
"It's" Sarah looked perturbed. "Cozy"
"You looked disturbed by that"
"Well, you aren't cozy…far from it"
"Now, now, Sarah, what did you expect? Chains in a dungeon? Should that be my private sanctuary?"
"Well, I did see Carrow's special room"
His eyebrows shot up, "When?" he demanded. "When did you see Carrow's special room?"
Sarah shifted then on the leather couch, "Only a glance, my Lord, nothing more"
"Are you sure?" he pressed.
"Snape would have ran to you if Carrow tried to touch me inappropriately or torture me. You must know that is true"
Voldemort nodded, "Yes, I believe that to be true. So my private space is surprising for you…"
"It's just…your name…your very name evokes fear in every wizard in this world. They can't even say your name…that is how powerful the fear you evoke is"
"And there is a reason for that…you would do well to have a little more reverent fear"
"I do fear you, my Lord" she lowered her head, then raised it again, "I just like to keep it close to me"
"I know" he acknowledged.
"Is this where you will…punish me?" Sarah asked, fiddling with her hem again.
"Not tonight" Voldemort said, "But some other nights if you deserve it"
"Where tonight?"
"You are so curious" Voldemort commented, with a hint of amusement. "Are you trying to prepare yourself?"
"Of course"
"Tonight, you and I will conduct our business in my rooms"
Now her eyebrows shot up, "Okay" she said slowly.
"The one place that is even more private and intimate than this" Voldemort looked at her, his eyes staring into hers. He was trying to unsettle her.
She kept his gaze, not backing down.
"You have spunk, little one. You have it in spades. I appreciate that about you. I just need to teach you the fine line between spunk and disrespect"
He went back around his desk, sitting down and picking back up his quill. "I need to prepare for my meeting tonight. The couch is quite comfortable. I'd suggest a nap for you"
"A nap?" she asked, aghast. "Here?"
"You are shattered and here, I can keep an eye on you. Alone in your room, I'm not sure what mischief you can get into. Lay down and put your feet up. There is a blanket on the back there. Rest. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that tonight you will need your strength"
On that foreboding note, Sarah obeyed his orders and eventually much to her surprise, fell into a restless sleep, exhausted from the previous night.
"Did you sleep well, little one?" Voldemort asked as he handed her the plate of food. "You seemed to"
"Yes" she placed one piece of beef on her plate, one potato and left the vegetables on the platter. "The couch is comfortable"
"I told you it was" He frowned and the reached back for the platter, "This is not good for your recovery to eat so little"
"I didn't want to waste it" she murmured.
"Why would it be wasted?" Voldemort placed a few more pieces of meat on her plate followed by some potato and a heapful of carrots.
"I'm not so sure of how much I can eat right now"
"I know you like roast"
"I do like roast, of course" Sarah chewed on her lip, "but my stomach feels all wonky already"
"I see" Voldemort reached over to put his hand on her arm, applying a steady pressure, "Are you concerned now that tonight is rapidly approaching?"
"Yes, very much so"
"I can't say I'm unhappy to hear that. You should take this seriously" he patted his arm, "But I must insist you eat. The punishment you will take will require strength and the best way to ensure that for tonight is a good meal"
"But when you curse me, my Lord" Sarah said, slowly, "it usually ends up with me getting sick. It seems counterproductive to eat now"
"Hmm, a fair point" he patted her arm again and then reached for his fork. "Eat what is on your plate and if tonight you feel like at any point, you might vomit, you can tell me if I don't realize it before you do. I'll take care of it before you get sick all over my rug. Fair enough?" he asked, lightly.
"I suppose" she said, swallowing down her nerves.
"Good, now" he swiped his hand and her fork levitated up towards her hand, "Eat"
She caught the fork dangling in front of her and stabbed a piece of meat, putting a small bite in her mouth, chewing it and managing to swallow it.
"Do you like the flavor?" Voldemort asked, lightly.
"Yes, it's good" she said.
"Another bite then…and don't forget about the carrots. They are good for you even if you don't like them"
"Yes, my Lord"
"I don't have to give you a lesson in proper nourishment, do I?"
"No my Lord" she responded quietly, taking a bite of the carrot.
"Good" he said, his looking approving that she was continuing to eat.
They ate in silence for a few minutes before he said, "When our meal is concluded, I want you to take care of any personal needs you might have and retrieve your robes. I want you to wait in my room for me. I did quite a bit of work this afternoon, so my meeting shouldn't take as long as I initially anticipated"
Her face paled every so slightly, but she responded, "Yes, my Lord"
"You can sit in my room wherever you'd like, but I would prefer that you don't touch anything"
"I wouldn't dream of it" Sarah retorted.
"There will be some waiting required of you…and while you wait, I'd like you to think about the last battle. Allow your mind to go back to that night. Analyze the choices you made. Remember the words you spoke, especially what you spoke to me. Think about your confrontation with Bella and the steps that led to her death. I want you to go over every last detail of that night in your mind…every word, every thought. And then we will talk about it…I'm eager to get this dreadful business settled, my dear, there is so much more…pleasurable things…I wish to do with you in my bedroom. Don't you agree?"
She choked on her food and then reached for her water, gulping it down. Her eyes watering, she looked over at him, whose face was impassive, devoid of any emotion, though she thought she detected a faint glimpse of pleasure at how much his words affected her.
"Am I supposed to really agree to that?" she asked as wiped at her eyes, her heart beating fast.
He waved his hand at her, "Finish eating, little one"
And they finished their meal in silence, Sarah managing to choke down the rest of her food, but her stomach churned nervously at the thought of her and Voldemort tonight.
Malfoy Manor: Later that Night
Draco swept into the room, Ginny sitting cross legged on the bed. "Let's get this over with, Weasley" he grunted.
Ginny crossed her arms, the t-shirt that she was wearing, engulfing her. "No, it's not happening with you tonight, Malfoy. It's never ever happening with you! And I want my wand!"
"For the record, I don't want this either. But it is required tonight. So, you can either be cooperative or…"
"You wouldn't dare force me" Ginny interrupted, haughtily. "I know you…you don't have it in you to tie me up and rape me...and that is what you would have to do for me to agree to sleep with you tonight!"
"No" Draco countered, "I wouldn't do that to you, but others would. Do you want me to" he rolled up his sleeve, "Use this to call the Dark Lord and ask him to give you to someone else? I don't think he would mind. All I have to do is touch my hand here..summon him...tell him how uncooperative you are...insist he allow Carrow to take you...oh look, my hand is moving closer and closer to my mark..."
"Stop it!" Ginny hopped off the bed as his hand hovered over his mark, She reached out and swatted down his hand. "And I want my wand" she retorted, loudly.
"I don't have your wand, Weasley"
"Who has my wand then?"
"I don't know" Draco said, "but you aren't getting it back until I know you won't hex me"
"I'll just hex you wandlessly then" Ginny countered.
"You don't know wandless magic" Draco laughed smugly at her. "Don't pretend like you do"
"Oh yes, that's right, I'm not so talented in your eyes as your precious Sarah. What is it about her, Draco, that makes men lose their heads around her?"
"Do not talk to me about her!" Draco shouted at her, his temper which he was precariously holding on to, exploding at her words, "And don't you dare speak against her, Ginny. Don't you dare! Do you understand me?"
"Sensitive" Ginny muttered.
Draco swept forward in a fury and gripped her arms, shaking her, "Do you know where she is now? Do you even comprehend what is going on with her? She is supposed to be your friend!"
"I have no idea" Ginny retorted, "But I can tell you are going to tell me"
"She is with him tonight, Ginny" Draco said, "he is going to torture her tonight for her role in the last battle…for choosing your precious Potter…for choosing Potter over him. And you should have seen Snape after the Dark Lord was done punishing him. His recovery took weeks. Sarah is going to go through hell tonight and then her hell doesn't end, it keeps going. He is going to take her to his bed and he is going to fuck with her…over and over again until it results in a child. That is her fate. You have seen what he is capable of. She is in his hands…for now until the rest of her life. She is his plaything. His toy. An object to be used over and over again without any choices to speak of…And have you ever thought of this? She is taking your punishment for you…"
"My punishment?" Ginny's face was pale. "What do you mean?"
"Did he touch you? Did he torture you? Did he let the others rape you?" Draco demanded.
"No"
"Well, he should have" Draco said, "but Sarah intervened…for you…because she is a much better friend to you than you are to her"
Ginny backed up and then went to sit back on the bed.
"Yes, this is hell for you" Draco continued, "I know that. This is the worst possible outcome in your head, but what I am telling you is that it could be worse…far worse. And it would have been worse, if Sarah did walk into that room…into his inner circle…risking her life…to plead for yours. And that decision made it possible for you to be spared of some of the worst consequences of being associated with Potter"
Ginny buried her head in her hands, "Just stop"
"Don't want to think about it, do you?" Draco said, "well, it's all I think about it" He turned around to go into the lavatory, "I'm using the loo and when I come out, we will shag and you will be cooperative. I'm not going to feel like the bastard raping you, not when this wasn't my choice to begin with…and believe me, it is just an order for me as well. I have no desire to do this with you at all"
"Malfoy!" Ginny called after him and Draco turned around.
"What?"
"Is she really at his house?"
"I'm not lying to you, Weasley" Draco said, his face hard. "She is there. And she is being punished tonight. That's her home from now on"
"I don't want that for her" Ginny said, her lip trembling slightly.
"I didn't think you actually did" Draco said, turning back around but Ginny stopped him again, "Wait, Draco!"
"What is it now?" he asked with a hint of exasperation.
"I…" her face was pale, "Well, you should know…I haven't…well…" Ginny shifted on the bed.
Draco paused, "You have to be kidding me. You and Dean Thomas were practically shagging in the hallways"
"Well, we never did it completely" Ginny said, quietly, "And Harry and I…we never had time…or opportunity"
Draco stared at her, his hands to his side, "Do you need me…to…I mean…you understand…the basics, right?"
"Of course I do" Ginny snapped, "I'm not an idiot"
"Well, good" Draco frowned, "Just…don't worry about it, Gin" Draco's voice turned softer. "We have to, but I won't be…I won't be like them. I promise"
"Can't we fake it?" Gin asked, a panic creeping up in her voice.
Draco went to sit next to her on the bed, "When Sarah and I waited an extra night, the Dark Lord had our sheets checked and it was this whole bloody mess with legilimancy and the back and forth…and…" he paused, "the politics of waiting aren't really worth it. And if they ever find out that we haven't, you would be open to be given to one of the others…Do you really want to have to do this with Wormtail or Carrow?"
Ginny shook her head, slowly.
"Then…we'll just do this…and…then…" Draco let out his breath, "I don't know. I know you hate me. I don't really like you either. I know you love Potter. And you know I love Sarah, but we are in this together now…so one step at a time"
Ginny grimaced, but didn't say another word as he eased off the bed and headed to the lavatory.
Snape knocked on the door to Narcissa's sitting room which was adjacent to her bedroom.
"Come in" Narcissa called and Severus pushed the door open. "Oh hi, Sev" she said, putting her book aside. "I thought you went home"
Severus stood in the middle of the room, his look tortured, "Where is Lucius?"
"He is gone for a few days. Left after the wedding. Something about a mission…"
"Cissy" his voice was strained. "Help me"
Narcissa rose gracefully and went over to give him a hug. "I know, Sev. You are torturing yourself with thoughts of him punishing her tonight. I don't blame you"
Severus allowed himself to relax in her embrace and then snaked his arms around her waist, "I wanted so much more for her, Cissy. She is so bright and beautiful and has such a potential. He is going to stomp it all out of her…everything I have tried to instill in her. I want to go there and insist that he punish me again instead"
Cissy pulled away, "Of course you do, but it won't help. He wants to punish her tonight and so he will"
"I'm going over…I'm picturing" Severus put his hand on his head, pounding his fist against it, "everything that he is going to do tonight with her…the whole scene over and over again. He'll start with the cruciatus and then…then..."
"Sev! Stop!" Cissy's eyes were wide. "You can't think about what he is going to do. Push it from your mind"
"It is all I can think of. All I can see. Over and over again" Snape was forlorn."I'm helpless to stop it"
"Merlin, I have never seen you this tortured" there were tears in Cissy's eyes. "Sev, darling…" She approached him again, putting her hands on his shoulders. She hesitated and then kissed his cheek, softly, gently. "Please don't do this to yourself" she pleaded.
Snape stiffened, but his hands moved back to her waist. She kissed him again on the other cheek, "Do you need a distraction tonight, dearest?" she asked, her breath against his cheek.
Snape's hands trembled as he cleared his throat. "Are you offering a distraction?"
Cissy backed up surprised at the tremble. Severus never showed his nerves. "I never have seen you…so…exposed. You never show it"
"Does that bother you?"
Her hand reached up to his face, "Of course not. Sev, I…" she paused, "I really care about you. More than I should. Do you understand what I mean?"
"I think" Severus's hand shook again. "I feel the same, Cissy. I think I always have. But…I never dreamed…I mean you are so…merlin, you are stunning. You are so desired. And I am me"
Cissy put her finger on his lip, "Hush. I hate when you disparage yourself. You being you is wonderful"
"I thank you for that" Severus kissed her finger and she dropped her hand.
"It's true" Narcissa said, "Quite true"
Severus stiffened again, staring into her eyes.
"Don't try to read my mind, Sev" Narcissa chided softly, "You have to trust that my words are true"
He stared at her for a few moments more, torn. Narcissa was offering him a lifeline tonight...a chance out of this hell...that he couldn't get himself out of himself. And in spite of the moment of guilt that coursed through him, he decided that he needed this...he needed her. This is what he wanted for so long. And this is what he needed now.
He forced himself to relax, clearing his throat again, "May I kiss you then?" he asked, formally, but his hands squeezed her hips as he said it.
"Of course" She reached to grip his face and they kissed. And when their lips met for the first time, it was like an explosion of feeling happened…propelling them to action. Snape fumbled with the buttons of her blouse, yanking it off while Narcissa made quick work of his shirt for him. And then reached to unbutton his pants and then proceeded to tease him for a bit.
He grunted and in one swift motion, picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him, "We can stop. We should stop" he said, breathless, between kisses.
"Bedroom, Severus. Now" Narcissa ordered, her breathing labored. "Now"
"Narcissa" Severus wandlessly opened the door and plopped onto her bed with her, "You are vulnerable. We mustn't do this when you are so vulnerable. The timing is all wrong"
"Me, vulnerable?" Narcissa laughed at him, "You are the vulnerable one tonight, Severus. If there is any one taking advantage, it is me"
"We should stop…" Severus pulled away suddenly, Narcissa and him on her bed.
"Sev, why?" Narcissa asked quietly. "I want to have sex with you tonight. You want to have sex with me…" she paused, "you do, don't you?"
"Of course, I do" Severus shifted, "i…" he looked at her, helpless.
"What?" she demanded.
"You are…Narcissa, you are like a veela to me…you are enchanting…and I'm…I'm…I know how I am"
"I'm attracted to you, Severus. You are just going to have to take my word for it. You are attractive in your own dark, snarky way...actually quite seductive"
"Okay, but…" he paused, "Read my mind. I can't express myself for the life of me tonight"
"I don't need to, Sev" Narcissa retorted. "Has it been a while? Is that it?" she asked, sympathetically, "Since that tramp from Hogsmeade that you dated…what was it…six...maybe seven years ago? Right before Grace died?"
"Yes" Snape said, slowly.
"I never liked her, Sev" Cissy said, adamantly, "And that doesn't matter to me. You see what matters to me is not that it is perfect…but who it is with. And I've been forced to do this with…others…and I want it to be…special again. And it being with you…that's as special as it can be. You can fumble around and be awkward, but Sev, darling, it's still going to be wonderful to me…" she paused, "Do you want me to take charge? Is that what it is? I can you know, if that is what you like…me in charge" She inclined her head, her eyes sparkling, teasing, challenging him.
There was a gleam in Sev's eye…a spark…an answer to her challenge. "Oh, no, Narcissa. That is quite unnecessary, let me assure you" he reached around her, unhooking her bra, "As long as you are sure"
"I'm positive" Narcissa retorted, "Now kiss me again"
And when he kissed her again, there was no hesitation…replaced only with a determination…a decisiveness…a deliberate drive…and a desire to be consumed by her.
And when it is over, he securely put his arm around her waist, pulling her against his side, not wanting to let her go.
"Sev" she leaned up.
"No, no" Severus admonished, "lay back down, Cissy. I don't want you to leave"
"Considering it's my room, I'm certainly not leaving" she retorted, haughtily.
"Are you kicking me out?" Severus asked with a trace of a smile.
She settled back down in his arms, "No, I want you to sleep with me tonight. This is more than sex for me. I hope you know that"
"I do. For me too" Severus said, his voice low. "Lucius…we should perhaps talk about that. "
"He won't care" her voice was muffled against his chest. "But, if this is more than a one time, which I sincerely hope it is…"
"It is"
"Then, we need to talk to…" Narcissa's voice trailed off. "Well, you know…"
"I know" Severus said, resigned. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. It will give me a chance to check on Sarah" he winced, "Oh merlin"
"What, Severus?"
"I feel like the worst father"
Cissy leaned up, surprised, "Why one earth?"
"She is going through hell right now and I…I allowed myself not to do the same tonight…I should have been in hell with her…well, my own separate hell…but I should have stayed tortured…for her…not allowed myself to have so much pleasure in this moment with you"
"You can allow yourself moments of pleasure, Severus" Cissy said, quietly, "being a father" she traced his cheek, "Being a father doesn't take that away…and Sarah…she wouldn't want you sitting here tortured. You know that"
"I think this…this was the only thing that could bring me out of that hell tonight" Severus said, "it was a surprise"
"A welcome one?" she asked lightly.
"For certain" Severus's fingers danced along her arm and then he yawned in spite of himself.
"You are shattered, poor thing" Narcissa smiled, biting her lip as she did.
"It has been a while…merlin, quite a while" Severus said, "I don't know how I did it"
"You were distracted parenting" Narcissa said, "and worried about having to explain things to your daughter"
"That's for sure" Severus sunk his head back into the pillow.
"Go to sleep Severus. That's just what you need now"
"It's so early. What time is it? Nine-thirty?"
"That doesn't matter. You haven't slept well in ages. Go to sleep" Narcissa leaned over to kiss his cheek and the moved to pull away to her side of the bed.
"Narcissa…don't leave"
"I was just giving you space"
"Don't need space" Severus mumbled, sleepily. "If you don't mind"
Narcissa moved back over and he opened his arm up again for her and wrapped it around her waist. She put her head on his chest, closing her own eyes. And for the first time in years, Severus slept soundly….until…he was jolted awake by his mark.
"Sev?" Narcissa sat up as Severus's reached for his pants.
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you"
"That's fine. What is going on?"
"I've been summoned"
"Summoned?" Narcissa asked surprised. She reached for her wand, summoning his shirt from the other room as he pulled on his pants, zipping them up and then buttoning them. "Here"
He shrugged on his shirt and began to button it quickly.
"What time is it anyway?" she asked.
"Three thirty"
"Why would he be summoning you now?"
"I have no idea. Something with Sarah, I think. Blast it" Severus fumbled with the buttons.
Narcissa sat up on her knees on the edge of the bed and proceeded to button his shirt for him. "Come back here when you are done, won't you?" she asked.
"Of course" he nodded, "Narcissa" his voice was strained again.
"You can do this" Cissy said, quietly. "Clear your mind. Whatever you face, you can face it"
"Thank you" Severus turned from her and then stopped, retraced his steps and leaned down to give her a kiss…a brief one on the lips, "I'll return here when I am done. I promise"
"Wake me if I fall back asleep"
He nodded his agreement and then left for Voldemort's manor.
A/N: An ideal stopping point…up next: Sarah and Voldemort…and why is Snape called? And what do you all think of Narcissa and Snape? And Draco's fighting words? Would love to know thoughts!
