Stephanie Meyer owns twilight and all associated characters.

Return

It was right after New Years and I was returning to Preston. I only had a few brief email conversations with Edward over the Christmas break, and did not really know where the two of us stood. I hoped that he had forgiven me for the broken bones in his hand. When I did write back to him, I did not want to mention the distance I felt growing between us. After all, I could have been feeling something that was just not there. Maybe it was just the distance and the busy nature of the holiday season.

However, it seemed to me that since I had broken up with James, my relationship with Edward was strained and not as natural as it was mere weeks prior. The breakup with James I was handling well. I still had trouble dealing with Jake's death. Though I had become stronger since living in Preston, I began to wonder if I was strong enough. My normal coping mechanism when things began to become overwhelming to me, besides having panic attacks, was not to eat. I turned to the only mechanism I knew while on break, but did not stop eating all together. It was something that I could control. I could not control Edward, or Jake's death, or even James's stupidity, but I could control how much I ate. Plus, I had no appetite anyway. When I did eat, it was something I have to force. Nothing was appetizing.

It was not the healthiest way to cope; that fact was not lost on me. During the break, the gang called to check up on me almost every day. When I was not talking to them, I was talking to some other Preston residents including Embry. Embry worked the hardest to attempt to fill the void, which Edward and Jake had left, mostly because he knew the most about the situation. The other were too close to Edward for me to confide in.

Even ninety miles away, Preston was still home and always had people looking after the other family members. I guess Jake was right, something in my eyes screamed for protection and the residents of Preston rose to the call. I pulled up to the front or Preston and parked on the brick drive, and I felt a little better about being back once my roommate raced towards me.

"Bella, I missed you girl. I'm so glad to see you." As she said those words, I could see her scanning me. She did not like what she saw. I was weaker and she could see that now, as she could not over the break. Being a good actor was one thing, but I could not hide the physical evidence from her as I could control the tone of my voice.

"Hey Pixie. I missed you too. How was your break?" I tried to act normal and unloaded my stuff onto the sidewalk. Emmett and Alice helped as they knew about my ribs, and I still wore the wrist brace.

"Bella, did you eat at all over the break? You are so skinny that I feel I could break you if I hug you." Emmett's honesty was as dependable as the Earth's rotation.

"I ate. You cannot help but eat my mom's cooking around Christmas time. Please give me a hug." He not only hugged me but picked me up as well. I flinched as the pressure around my ribs still caused pain.

"Sorry, I forgot about your ribs." He said as he put me down and grabbed my bags.

I was so glad to be home. I was glad to have people I felt free to be open with and now that we were back, I could not hide from either. I felt safe from myself once I was back. Alice and I, grabbed the bags that Emmett had not, and we all went into the front door and down the hall. It was comforting how little change here.

"Where's Edward?" I could not resist asking. Whenever we returned from any breaks, he was the first one there to greet me and make sure I didn't try to lift too much at once.

"He's upstairs unpacking. He just got here a minute ago." Emmett said.

"That's not like him. Did he look ok?" I wanted to add if he mentioned me or asked about me, but I was afraid of that answer.

"He looks like Edward, just with a cast." Typical guy response.

I tried to keep my mind off the fact that Edward did not seem interested in seeing me and instead focused on getting unpacked and resettled. I loved the days on campus before classes began. Everyone focused on catching up and relaxing before the deluge of school and homework started. It was normally a fun period. I had a feeling that I would not enjoy it as much with my roommate in a relationship and Edward trying to forget that I existed.

I got everything into my room and went down to move my car. I decided to walk back and take some time to think. Instead of walking straight back to Preston, I ended up at my fountain. I loved how quiet and peaceful everything seemed even in the middle of such a busy city. It was a place where few people came and so it became a place I went when I just needed to be alone. I sat by the fountain and thought about Jake. Would I ever be able to get over the fact that he was not a phone call away?

I sat where the two of us sat just mere months ago. I remembered that time together and a smile crept onto my face. I did feel like I was closer to him here. I knew he was watching after me. He was always my protector, and I knew that did not end when he died.

After about an hour at the fountain, I walked back to Preston. I walked in the door and saw Emmett and Rose sitting with Alice. I was so happy I gave them both hugs before sitting down in front of the fireplace which someone had turned on. I was nice to be warm after the cold walk.

"I was beginning to wonder if we needed to send a search party for you." I had not thought to call my roommate and tell her I'd be longer than I normally am.

"I'm sorry. I ended up taking a walk. I did not think to call." I warmed my hands by the fire.

"It's all good." Alice turned back to Rose and continued talking about her break.

Just then, Edward entered the lobby from the living area of the building. I held the cushions of the couch to prevent myself from running towards him and giving him a hug. It was then that he looked at me. His eyes locked with mine, and then a girl, who I had never met, came through the door, gave him a huge hug, and began to kiss him. His eyes closed and the connection between us was lost. I was shocked and sobered. She was pretty. She had long curly strawberry hair and the body of a volleyball player, tall and lean. They actually made a gorgeous couple. I hated to admit it, but they complemented each other nicely. He pulled the girl away and said his goodbyes to her before going back towards his room.

"Who the hell was that with Edward?" Rosalie asked shooting her gaze towards me. I would normally be the first to know anything about Edward, but things were not the same as they had been. I shrugged my shoulders and looked back to where he had been standing seconds before.

"Not sure. She came by about an hour ago. I'll ask Jasper later if he knows anything," Alice responded before I could.

"Bella, you know right? I mean you and Edward are best of friends after all." I leaned back into the couch and took a deep breath before responding.

"Actually, Edward barely spoke to me over the break. I guess now I know why." I was proud of myself for keeping my head tall. It was nice to know that the strength was still there even though two of my best friends no longer were. I needed to begin to stand on my own two feet.

"Well, that's different. How have you been doing Bella? You look so darn skinny." Rosalie knew when not to push things too far. She was good at changing conversation when it was needed.

"I'm ok. I just spent Christmas at home with my family. I also spent some time with Jake's dad. He had some stuff that they wanted me to have." I remembered that day with Billy.

"Hey Bella." Jake's Aunt Sue answered the door. "How are you doing dear? Please come in."

"I'm probably doing about the same as you. How are you doing? Is there anything that I can do for you?" I asked hugging Sue.

"Bella that is so sweet," Billy came into the room. "Just seeing you is helping enough. I know it must be weird being here under these circumstances, but you have been like a daughter to me and I hope to keep in touch with you and Charlie of course." I tried to fight the tears that were building up

"Always. You know you have been like a second father to me." I said turning towards him to give him a hug.

"We wanted you to have a few things of his. We know how close the two of you were and we know how much he loved you." He said this as calmly as I could have imagined any parent who had just lost his son could have.

"You know I loved him too." I looked down as I said this. I really did love Jake, and in a way, I knew that it was more than the love of friendship. He did not need to see my hurt as well. I needed to be stronger for them.

"We do. You don't have to stay too long, but I wanted to give you some stuff. I am about to head out of town for a few days and wanted to give it to you before I left." Billy wheeled himself out of the room, returning with a box with my name written on it. "There is a letter on top written by Jake. He stopped by the house on the way home from visiting you and gave us this letter. He said that if anything ever happened to him, we were supposed to give it to you. It was like he knew something was going to happen." Billy had a single tear rolling down his cheek. My guess was that it was all he had left to cry.

I did not know if I should look through the box with them, or wait until I got home. "You don't have to let this stuff go. I don't want to take anything away from you." I felt like I was robbing him of what they had left of Jake.

"He wanted you to have these things. We have to follow through with his wishes. Don't feel as though you are taking anything from me." He had just lost his son, and yet they were already focusing on doing what he would have wanted. The selfish grieving stage was never even considered by them. I was thankful to have known them for so long a time in my life.

"Do you mind if I go through this later? I think it might be best if I was alone." I said standing up from the plaid couch that I had sat and watched so many movies on with Jake.

"Not at all. We will see you soon, Bella. We love you." They both stood up and gave me another hug.

"I love you both too." I quickly grabbed the box and went outside of the house. I needed to be alone. And try to be with Jake anyway I could, even if it was through his things and my memories.

"How are you handling his death?" Rosalie brought me back to the present.

"I'm handling it as well as anyone could I guess." It was true. How does one handle the death of their best friend? It was not a wound that healed quickly if ever.

"What about James? Was he very supportive over the break? What's with the wrist brace?" Rosalie had spent most of the summer with family. She was not up to date on all the events of my break.

I sighed in preparation for my answer. "Actually, James and I broke up right after finals were over. I found him cheating on me with some blonde. James grabbed my wrist as I was leaving and I fell. I have a hairline fracture in my wrist. That is why I need the brace. I also have a few broken ribs."

"Wow. You are finally a free woman." She said as she did a little dance while still sitting on the brown leather couch.

"You could say that." I was free of a relationship, but my heart was taken. Something that two people knew. Well, one now that Jacob was gone.

"How did your ribs get broken though?" I flinched as Rosalie asked having finally processed everything that I had said. I couldn't imagine why Emmett had not given her all this information as soon as she got home. Why did I have to repeat it?

"Well James kicked me and broke my ribs. Thank god for Edward or it could have been worse."

"Edward? Was he there? I'm surprised he even got a chance to kick you."

"Yeah. He was there alright." I said looking away from them and into the fireplace.

"Bella, why don't we walk back to the room and finish getting you set back up," Alice suggested.

"Great idea Alice. See you guys soon." Alice and I got up and moved towards our room. We got to the room and she left the door open as we always did when we were in the room. Since Alice's computer was already set up, she turned on some music. Jasper came in at about that time.

"Hey Bella. Why don't you let me put your computer back together?" He said lifting the tower and carrying it towards my desk.

"That would be great Jasper. Thanks." I went towards the box I got from Billy. I had looked through it a thousand times and packed it back up that morning.

"Jasper, who was that girl with Edward," Alice inquired in a much more passive tone than I would have managed.

"That would be Victoria. Edward's sort of dating her I guess. I'm not sure, but she is not my favorite person. There is something about her that I just don't like. Is it ok if I spend more time in here than in my room this semester?"

"Fine with me, but Bella can kick you out at her discretion," Alice said as she put some of her clothes away in her closet. She had just arrived that morning and had a lot of unpacking left to do as well.

"Edward is dating someone," was all that I could choke out. I was not sure why it was hitting me harder now. I had just seen him kiss her in front of me and I did not react, but I guess that reaction was just delayed.

"Yes. Apparently, it is his ex girlfriend from high school, and I guess they got back together over the break. She was Maria to his Tony in West Side Story. Did he not tell you Bella? I'm surprised. I thought you two told each other everything." Jasper said as I sat down on the beanbag speechless. James was right. I would never find someone who could love me. Edward was my one hope, after Jake, and that was no longer an option.

"What's wrong Bella?" I bit my lip. Jasper had never really been told, but I guess he had figured it out anyway. I nodded to Alice who was looking at me.

"Jasper, I never told you, but I guess you should know now. Bella is in love with Edward." Alice said putting her arm around my shoulders and giving me a quick hug.

"Damn it." Jasper slammed his fist against on my desk. "I figured as much. You ok," Jasper asked as he sat beside me on a beanbag and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He was like a brother to me, and I loved the feeling.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I have not spoken to Edward since the day that I broke up with James. He sent me a few emails, but he never mentioned her." I gently released myself from Jasper's hold and grabbed Darcy and then a blanket out of the box. I climbed up into my bed and tried to focus on the ceiling.

"He hasn't talked to you at all?" Jasper said quietly, but acidly. I simply nodded and laid my head on my pillow. Alice shook her head and focused on something on her computer. Jasper turned to my computer and put the monitor on my desk.

"New blanket Bella?" Jasper asked as he began to take my other computer components.

"Yes, it was Jake's." That silenced the room for a while. Jasper finished putting my computer up and then began messing around on his laptop. While Alice continued hanging her clothes up and unpacking the rest of her stuff. At length, I pulled out the letter Jake wrote me from a pocket that was sewn into the blanket and read the words again.

My darling Bella,

If you are reading this letter, it means that I can no longer be with you. I know you probably think I'm crazy for writing a letter like this at my age, but I needed to make sure you had something to remember my words if I was no longer present to tell you in person. I love you, and I will be watching after you. I know that you are not taking my death well, but I need you to be strong. You are my world, and I want you to enjoy your life to the fullest.

I want to make sure you know that there are no hard feelings about the fact that I was never top on the list of guys in which you were romantically interested. It was most likely for the best given my fate. But the moment we kissed, was the best moment of my life and I thank you for indulging me and not pulling away. I just hope you have forgiven me for my impropriety.

Stay strong and know that you are loved. I know you won't believe me, but Edward loves you. It may take him time to tell you, and he'll have his reasons for that. Be patient and remember your promise. I love you, and will miss you even if I am in heaven.

Yours Eternally,

Jake

I got down off my bed and walked over to Alice to show her the letter. She read it and I saw tears running down her face. She took the letter and scanned it into her computer. She printed out a copy and handed it to me.

"Here. You don't want to wear out the original." I hugged her before walking back to my desk and placing the original letter in my journal.

"Thanks Al. I had not thought about that." I stopped wallowing and started unpacking my stuff. Alice noticed all of the new things but did not ask, as she knew a lot of them probably belonged to Jake. Besides the blanket, Billy had given me his laptop, a sweatshirt of his that I drowned in, some pictures of the two of us together, and a few other things. I tried to give the laptop back, but Billy said that the would never use it and he wanted it to be used.

By the time we finished unpacking, it was dinnertime so the three of us walked across the street and grabbed some food and then went back to the lobby. I picked at the food and did not really eat much. As we were eating, Edward went through the lobby and waved at us with his hand that was in the cast before heading out of the building. This, I supposed, was how it was going to be from now on. He found a girlfriend so I would not exist to him anymore. Embry came in soon after and sat beside my on the leather couch.

"How are those ribs of yours? You did not lift too much did you?" He said as he patted my knee with his hand.

"I'm ok. Emmett helped me with the heavy stuff. When did you get in?" I pulled my feet onto the couch and sat cross legged. I never was one to sit normal with my legs over the side.

"Oh I got in about an hour ago. I had an appointment back at home that I could not miss. I'm sorry that I was not here to help you get unloaded." He winked at me as he began to eat his sushi.

"No worries. I never lack help here." I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder.

Edward did not come back for a long time. I found myself listening more than talking. I fiddled with the necklace that Jake had made me for Christmas that he never had a chance to give me himself. It was carved wooden wolf that he had carved himself on a silver chain. I already found myself in the habit of rubbing to smooth wood whenever I was anxious. At length, Edward came back in and sat down on Zelda. I was sitting on the brown leather couch so I could watch the pictures at a better angle.

"So Edward, who's the girl you were with earlier," Embry asked, as he put him arm around me. The one thing about Edward's absence that I was grateful for was the strengthening of Embry's and mine friendship. I had not realized how much of my time had been consumed with Edward prior to the Christmas break. It felt that there was more balance with my other friends, which had previously not existed.

"You are referring to Victoria, I presume. She is a girl that I am seeing." His eyes flashed to me to gage my reaction. I kept my face calm. I had become quite an actor over the last month and was trying harder to hide my insecurities. "She and I dated back in high school, and spent time together over the break. I had forgotten what good company she could be. How was your break Embry?" Embry made no motion to move his arm. In a way, I felt that this was a challenge toEdward.

"Oh, I went on a tour of Italy with my family. I almost did not want to leave. Also, I spoke with Bella here quite a bit and checked in on her. She needed as many friends as she could get, you know?" Edward had not missed that offense. I saw his jaw clench. Embry and I had talked about how Edward had not called over the break. Embry was none too happy about that., but would not say anything outwardly mean about him.

"Yeah, I did know that she needed people. I emailed her a few times myself to check up on her. How are you doing Bella?" Edward's eyes bore onto the brace on my hand. I had not told him anything about my injuries. I felt a room full of eyes bearing down on me.

"I've been worse, but for the most part back being back in Preston has helped. It's good to see you. I haven't really talked to you in awhile." I said as I faked a smile in his direction.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been crazy recently. " For once, he was the one to look down when speaking. I wondered what that meant, but decided to focus on my reactions.

"It's no big deal Edward. If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to take a walk." I began to get up and walk towards the back door.

Edward made a motion to speak, but Embry cut him off. "Bella its dark outside and I would prefer you not go out alone especially with your wrist and ribs. I'll go with you if you like. I'll even grab my guitar and serenade you." I looked down at Embry and smiled.

I did not look at Edward. If he did not want to be with me, I had to stop looking to him so much. "Thanks Embry, but I guess I'll just head to my room and grab my laptop. I'll be right back."

"When did you get a laptop, Bella," Edward asked. Alice looked at me stunned; she had not realized the degree to which Edward was out of the loop on the happenings in my life. No one truly knew. I sugar coated the truth to the others so they would not be not mad at him. Well, Embry was the one person who received the unedited version.

I turned around and looked at him. I took a deep breath and answered. "I did not really get a laptop. Jake's father thought that I should have his." As I turned back and walked towards the room, I heard Edward ask about my ribs. I was proud of myself. My composure was improving. Though internally I was screaming why can't you love me, externally I thought I was remaining pretty nonchalant. I grabbed my laptop and headed back to the entrance hall. I stepped back into the lobby, and noticed that Edward was gone. I needed people to believe I was okay with this, so I did not ask where he went. I simply sat down beside Embry, who gave me the biggest smile as I sat next to him.

EPOV

"What happened to Bella's ribs?" I asked as soon as she stepped out of the lobby.

"You were there Edward. Are you trying to tell us you don't remember?" Embry answered in a venomous tone that I had never heard from him.

"I was there, but she only ever told me that they hurt. She didn't tell me anything else." I answered, trying to keep my voice clam though my hand was twitching to punch him just like I had with James. Luckily Alice answered, before Embry could.

"Edward, she did not tell you that he broke her ribs and her wrist?" Embry was shaking his head, while I just sat there in shock. Why would she not tell me that? I know I was distancing myself a little, but it was not like her to leave out something like that.

"No, she never told me that." I said looking at the ground and trying not to notice the shock on Alice's pixie like face.

"I wonder why that is?" Embry asked simply but still with an edge to his voice.

"No clue Embry. You want to enlighten me?" My patience was wearing thin. It was bad enough I was just expected to sit by and watch him with his hands all over Bella. I was not in the mood for his shit tonight.

"Not my place. Maybe you should go talk to her about it." He said with a smug look on his face.

"Excuse me." I said getting up and stomping out of the lobby. I needed to get out of there. I refused to sit there and deal with his shit. He did not know Bella like I did, no matter he much he pretended to. I could not believe he was trying to suck her into his world so soon after her break up with James. I kept walking toward the fountain, when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Go away Jasper." I said with exasperation thick in my voice.

"How did you know it was me?" He said still following me.

"I had a hunch." I said still wanting to make it to my fountain, but not wanting to give away the location to anyone else.

"Edward, I'm not going away, even if you don't say anything." Jasper said as I rolled my eyes.

"Fair enough." I retorted sitting on the closest bench.

"I'm going to ask you a question and I am going to need you to be real with me." He replied sitting down beside me and looking up at the sky. I nodded, but made no attempt to reply yet. "How long has it been since you actually spoke to Bella?"

"The day she broke up with James." I sighed and began tapping my fingers on the cast on my opposite hand.

"Edward, can you really not see why Bella did not tell you about her ribs and wrist?" He asked still looking up at the sky.

"No, she should know that she could come to my with anything and I'd be there for her. In case you haven't noticed, I broke my hand for her." I said pouting and focusing at the sidewalk.

"Bella, as you well know, has a habit of closing herself off. You however, closed yourself off from her. She could sense that from mere minutes after you punched James. She is not going to open up to you if she feels that you have one foot out the door already." His voice remained clam, like he was talking about something as superficial as the weather, but he made so much more sense.

"I can't just be there for her right now Jazz." I said.

"You are not just a rebound to her Edward. You should know that." He said finally looking at me.

"Maybe I should, but I don't. I need there to be some space for her to figure everything out on her own. I need Embry to back the fuck off." I said hearing the venom in my own voice at the mention of his name.

"Listen closely Edward. Embry is not after her in the way that you think." I scoffed, but jasper continued. "Bella was friends with him before you came along. He is trying to be there for her. Jake is gone, you are distancing yourself, and Embry is the only person she will open up to. She hasn't even told Alice or I most of it. I know you think you do, but it you are going to keep up this distance shit, you do not want Embry to back off or there may be nothing left of Bella before long."

"It's not as bad as all that. Don't be so dramatic." I could not believe what he was trying to tell me. My Bella was stronger than that.

"Next time you see her. Take a good long look at her, and tell me I'm being dramatic. I'm going back. I'll see you later." He got up and walker away; the words he had spoken were now stuck in my head. Was Bella not as strong as I had always given her credit for? I know that Bella has survived a lot, but that was when she had Jake by her side. Was my Bella only hanging on by a thread?

BPOV

I spent the rest of the night hanging with Jasper, Alice, Embry, and a few others in the lobby. The conversation did not stick to one topic for long. We were big talkers, and often distracted as well. While they were talking, I continued to read some of the stuff still left on Jake's computer. I did not have the heart to delete any of his papers or other documents. I had been putting them on disks after reading them.

Around midnight, Alice said that she was heading to bed. I decided that I was right behind her. I was glad to be back, but it was exhausting pretending to be immune to the fact that the man I loved was now dating another woman. I needed sleep. While sleeping, I escaped into the world in which I wanted to live. Alice and I went about our normal bedtime routine. Jasper followed in and kissed his girlfriend goodnight before returning to his room. I got up in my bed and was under Jake's blanket as soon as I got up there. I reread Jake's letter, but now I was reading the copy.

I put the note away and began to drift to sleep. Suddenly, I was on Zelda with talking with friends around me. Edward entered the lobby from the front of the building. He walked quickly to Zelda, grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me with a passion that I had never before experienced; well, maybe once before. Everyone around us cheered, but he seemed not to notice. He just kept kissing me before he finally stopped and said, "A moment without you is too long. You'll never know how I missed you."

As usual, I woke up too soon. I looked at my phone, which I kept on a shelf on top of my loft. It was two o'clock. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep. I fell back to sleep and continued to dream similar dreams throughout the night. I craved the nighttime.

I woke up early for me at about eight. Christmas break had put me into a habit of waking up early and walking Scout. I knew that this habit would die fast now that I was back, but decided to be proactive until such a time. I got up and changed into some sweats. I grabbed my I-pod and walked out of the room. As I walked toward the lobby, I noticed someone behind me. I looked back; Edward was walking slowly behind me. He was trying not to catch up. I walked towards the lobby a little quicker. I made it to the back door of Preston and shoved open the back door with all of my might. I walked out my frustration. I did not care if Edward was behind me. I kept walking without looking back. I immediately regretted pushing myself so hard when the pain shot through my ribs. I slowed down and walked around campus.

About an hour later, I reentered the building. Edward sat on Zelda eating breakfast. I kept walking. I really needed to grab a shower, but I also did not know what to say to Edward right now.

"Bella," he said. "Will you sit for a minute?" I was so close to a clean escape, but could not just turn away from him. I had a promise to keep to Jake that I would not shut him out.

"What can I do for you," I asked. I sat on the arm of a chair by the door incase I needed a quick escape.

"Why didn't you tell me he broke your ribs or your wrist?" He looked genuinely injured that I had not confided in him.

"I'm not sure. I guess because we barely spoke, and when we did, it was over email. I didn't want to tell you over email." I turned off my I-pod and rolled up the earphones around my hand.

"I wanted to talk to you about that. I want you to know that I haven't intentionally been ignoring you. You are a sore spot with Victoria. She thinks we have something more than friendship. If I'm distant, that's why."

I took a deep breath and looked back at Edward, who was looking me over with appraising eyes. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I get it, even though when circumstances were reversed, I did not abandon you. Is there anything else?" I could tell there was more, but he just stared at his food.

"I guess not." He spurted out without looking up from his food.

"See you later Edward. I really need to get a shower." I did not wait for a response, but turned and went through the door. I all but sprinted to my room. I quickly regretted that when my ribs began to throb. These things really needed to heal, because not being able to make simple movements was really getting on my nerves.

Alice was still asleep, so I grabbed my stuff and went to take a shower. I did not rush, as I knew my suitemates would not be up for another hour. I lingered in the shower letting the hot water burn away any hope I had left that Edward and I would ever be more than friends. When I got out, Alice had woken up and Jasper was already in the room.

"Morning Bella. How are you?" Alice was awake and cheerful, but Jasper looked like something the cat drug in.

"Morning guys. Jasper you look exhausted. Did you sleep at all?" I said hanging my towel on a hook on my closet door.

"I just woke up. I ran out of the room quickly as Victoria had just come over." He said as he fell onto the beanbag.

"Ah. Well, that explains it. Are you guys ready for breakfast?" I asked grabbing my jacket.

"Sure. Let's go." Jasper jumped up quickly behind me.

We walked across the street to get our food. Jasper was walking around without a coat as he did not grab one before leaving his room and did not want to go back to his room. We got our usual breakfast and headed back to the lobby. I sat down where Edward had been sitting just a little while earlier. Embry had entered the lobby shortly after and was sitting beside me eating a bowl of cereal.

"Um Bella, are you going to eat any of your breakfast," jasper asked.

"I've eaten some of it. I got more food than I really needed." I poked at my food with my fork.

"Bella, please try to eat some more." Jasper was pleading at this point. It was not like Jasper to harp on something that was unimportant so I forced down more food than I had any desire to eat. We spent most of the rest of the day talking and hanging out in the lobby. Edward and Victoria went in and out a couple of times. Though I noticed, I tried to make it appears as though I had not. I listened to Embry playing some songs he wrote on his guitar over the break and caught up with Rosalie as I had not heard much about her break.

The second day after getting back Embry, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and I headed down to the Carolina Bookstore to get the books we need for our classes. I had all of the ones I needed for my English classes, but needed to go ahead and get my history books. The professors I had this semester were sticklers about reading the books. There was a flurry of activity around campus. Everyone was back by now and getting ready for another semester. We grabbed our books and made it through the overwhelmingly long line before heading back towards Preston.

Jasper and Alice went on a date that night. I wanted to give them some space so I told Alice that I would stay clear from the room until at least one in the morning. Embry and I had plans to hang out together that night anyway. Edward was in the lobby probably waiting for Victoria when I came out to meet Embry.

"My dear you look wonderful." Embry said as he took my hand. In my periphery, I could see Edward look in my direction. I was wearing my new dark wash jeans that I purchased when my other jeans became too big. Also, I had on a tightly fitted burgundy cotton shirt.

"Embry, I look as I always look. It's not like I'm wearing anything special." I said after rolling my eyes at his compliment.

"Oh I know, but I don't tell you often enough how good you look." He was wearing jeans, similar in color to mine, and a black long sleeve button down shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath. He grabbed my hand and gently led me to the piano that sat in one of the corners of the lobby.

"I thought that I would play for you while we decide what you want to do." He sat down at the piano and started playing Billy Joel's "Always a Woman". "What would you like to do tonight angel?" He asked looking at me while playing. I could see Edward standing at the front of the lobby looking over at us as I looked at Embry. Embry's mahogany hair fell into his eyes. I lifted my hand and gently moved the hair out of his eyes. He smiled and grabbed my hand laying a kiss on it.

"Though I could listen to you play all night, I would really love to just walk with you and talk." I said smiling at Embry.

"Very well." He said and he rose from the stool and began to walk slowly towards the door. He stopped a few feet from the piano to wait on me as I slide down the stool to exit. I stood up and tripped over the stool leg landing on my right side. Embry was not quick enough to catch me. I screamed out. Embry flew by my side and Edward did as well.

"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked pushing Embry out of the way.

"I'll be alright. Embry will you please help me up?" Edward looked affronted that I had not asked him to help. Embry walked behind me and pulled me up by locking his arms underneath mine. I flinched from the pain and the recollection of how Edward lifted me in that same method when James attacked me.

"Well, that will set back my recovery." They both offered me their arms to help me walk. I walked past them both and went to sit on the leather couch that would not take so much effort to get up.

"Thanks for your concern Edward. I'm fine though. I've been through worse. Embry do you mind if I cancel our walk?" He walked over and sat down beside me. Edward walked towards the door and stood to talk to Emily who was working the desk.

"Not at all dear. Anything in particular you want to talk about?" He said looking past me towards Edward.

"I just can't have him help me right now. I need to stand-alone. I need to take this time and learn to be semi self sufficient." I said grabbing my necklace.

"Well, forgive us if we have a hard time letting you. I'll try to be there for you while still letting you handle things on your own."

"It's ok Embry. You are like an older protective brother. No worries." I said and the conversation between the two of us moved onto other things. Edward left at some point, but I have no clue when or with whom.

"When is you next gig?" I asked Embry.

"Well, we are probably going to play at the New Brookland again soon. We haven't played there since that night you came to see us. Some of the guys were hoping to meet you. Maybe you could come with me and hang out back stage with the band. You could be our official groupie or an honorary member."

"Have you ever thought about having a girl sing some songs with you guys?" I was thinking that it was time for me to do a better job at putting myself out there. I had discussed with Jacob numerous times that I needed to trust people and be less withdrawn. Jacob bused to call me his secret star because of my singing; maybe I was good enough to sing a couple of songs in public. I hoped that might break me out of my shell.

"Do you have someone in mind?" Embry asked with a penetrating stare pointed in my direction.

"Well, I've been known to sing, but never really in public." I looked towards the pictures and away from his intent look.

"Let me call Britain real quick. I think you just got an audition. Will you wait here until I grab my guitar?" I looked at Embry who had a look on his face as if he had just had a major epiphany.

"Of course. I'll be right here." I said smiling and looking at a picture of Embry and me at the Halloween party that just came up on the picture frame. I smiled remembering that night and how mortified I was to be wearing that costume.

"I'm back. Sam is coming over. He said that he should be here in a couple of minutes. He wants to hear you sing." He had his acoustic guitar in his hands and began strumming s familiar song. I began to sing along with him. It was No Doubt's "Don't Speak".

"You and me, we used to be together," as I began the song I felt that I could really relate to this song given my status with Edward. I continued singing until the end of the song, trying to keep my volume under control so that I did not disturb anyone. As I reached the final lyrics, I heard clapping from behind me. I looked up and saw the bass player from Embry's band.

"You are Bella I presume. My name is Sam. That was awesome." He said holding out his hand with a large smile on his face.

"Well, thanks Sam. I haven't sung much around other people before though." I replied as I took his hand to shake and he pulled it to his lips and kissed my hand before releasing it.

"Do you want to?' He said glancing at Embry briefly before turning back to me.

"Yes. Yes, I think I can do it." I said smiling and looking over to Embry.

"Well, I think you can too. Why don't you start next Friday at our gig at New Brookland? We'll start you with one song, but prepare others if you feel comfortable after the first one. Sound good?"

"Sounds great." I answered a little too enthusiastically.

"Great. Embry, make sure we get your girl to rehearsal. I have to run. My girl is waiting for me." He winked at Embry and then walked out the front door.

"I think we already have the song you need to sing. That song really had feeling behind it for you, huh?"

"You knew that it would. Well, I guess I can't blame you. Songs always sound better if the singer identifies with them." I said as Embry began playing one of his originals.

"That is very true. How are your ribs?" He said as he stopped playing and retuned his guitar to its case on the coffee table.

"I'm not sure. They hurt, but that has been constant since the day I got hurt. I hope the fall did not set back any recovery."

"Let's go get you some pain medication." Embry got up and I struggled to get up, but thankfully he let me do it on my own. I walked over to the door and swiping my ID, Embry opened the door and held it for me. I shout him a glare.

"I can still be gentlemanly and let you be self sufficient. Don't look at me with that tone of voice." He said and we both began walking to my room. We were about halfway there, when Edward and Victoria came out of the stairwell and began walking towards us.

"Hey guys," Edward said as Victoria wrapped her arm around his waist and began kissing his neck.

"Hey you two," I answered. "Have a great night." I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster. Embry and I kept walking, and I suddenly remembered that I had promised the room to Alice until one in the morning.

"Umm Embry, I can't go in there."

"Why not?" He asked brushing my hair out of my face.

"I promised Alice the room until one. I have another hour." I said biting my bottom lip.

"Bella, just call her. You need your pain meds. There is no excuse for you to sit in pain after that fall." I nodded and picked up my phone dialing my roommate.

"Hello."

"Hey Alice. I needed to get my medicine and I did not want to interrupt anything."

"Oh Bella. Go on in. We are actually at my parent's house. They went out of town. I might just stay here tonight. I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"No worries Pixie. Embry and I were just hanging in the lobby together. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't do anything that I wouldn't do." I said hanging up the phone and opening my door.

"You coming," I asked Embry as he brushed hair out of my face.

"Not tonight babe. I think it's time that I head to bed. See you in the morning."

"Night Embry." I went into the room closing the door. I changed and took my pain medication. I crawled up into my bed and dreamed of Jacob instead of Edward for the first time since Edward and I kissed.

EPOV

When I saw Bella the next day, I took a long look at her. Jasper was right. Bella was really thin. She was as beautiful as always, but thin and more pale than usual. I wondered if she had eaten anything over the break. I tried to explain the distance hoping that she would not hold it against me, but her retort caught me off guard. She had stuck by me even though James had never felt comfortable. I had not even realized that until she said it. I hated the distance between us, but knew that if I tried to be with her even as a friend, I would crack and try to be with her in a relationship, for which she was not ready.

When she cried out in pain as she fell to the ground, I was at her side in an instant, but she did not want me. She let Embry help her up. I think my heart broke into a million pieces. It was bad enough having to see him trying to get into her pants all the time, but for her to rebuff my attempt to help her broke my heart. I tried to seem nonchalant as I waited for Victoria to come over.

"Edward! Hello?" I looked up and saw that Victoria had just walked in.

"Hey babe! Sorry I must have been in another world. Come on let's go upstairs." I signed her in at the desk and walked towards my room hearing Bella giggle at whatever Embry had just said.

Victoria and I did not say a word and we walked up to my room. She was too busy texting or something on her phone. I opened the door and went over to my desk as she sat on my bed, as Bella had done so many times before. After awhile, I felt hands around my shoulders and rub down my chest. I turned around and Victoria's lips were on mine. The kiss was wrong just like all the others with Victoria, but I was trying to numb other feelings and could no longer care. I picked Victoria up and placed her softly on the bed before joining her. If Bella could be with Embry and care nothing for me, then I could attempt the same with Victoria.

A/N Don't be too mad about the Victoria thing. I will make it right just be patient. Sorry it was a little time before updating. I have so much going on. I will try to update at least once more this week. I need reviews people!