A/N: Hello readers! I hope you've all been doing well. Life sure has been busy for me these past couple of months. I'm sorry I haven't updated (I keep saying that don't I?), but my schedule and schoolwork haven't allowed much time for writing. The good news is that summer is very near! I am planning to hopefully write and update more often during the summer months. Yay! My thanks goes out to those who read and reviewed! You guys are truly amazing! I want to thank sarahmichellegellarfan1 for the continued support! It is appreciated. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. BEWARE: It's pretty long (the longest one I've ever written) and was SUPER emotional for me to write, but I really wanted to end it where I did while not cheating you guys out on content. Please excuse any grammar errors. After you finish reading, why not leave a review? They really do encourage me and help me to become a better writer for you guys. Don't forget to favorite and/or follow this story if you haven't already. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the great…Chapter Eight! :-)
Disclaimer: If I own anything else besides Anne, I'd have a more Oscars than Meryl Streep. :)
This chapter is dedicated to my lovely fan…partygirl98! Thank you for your interest in both of my stories! I appreciate your review and hope you enjoy the chapter! :-)
I know I'm a little late, but I would also like to dedicate this to the victims of the sinking of the R.M.S. Titanic and their families. Although we all love to fantasize stories about the ship, deep down, we all know that this is a historical event that really happened. May we never forget those who perished on that April night and those who lived in the aftermath. God bless you all! –C.M. Singer :)
Chapter 8
A stinging chill seized my heart as I coiled the paper in my hands. I scanned the page over and over, unable to comprehend Jack's words.
"How? How do you know that this is even Fabrizio?" I asked.
Smoke escaped Jack's lips as he sighed, "In Southampton, Fabrizio and I played a game of poker with two men. We bet all the money we had while they bet their two Third Class tickets for Titanic. I won the game and we used the tickets to board the ship. Their names were Sven and Olaf Gunderson. Fabrizio must have had his ticket in his pocket when they found him."
I shook my head. I wished that this was a dream, a nightmare that I could wake up from. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the Titanic. The cries and screams of those in the water still haunted my dreams.
"I can't do this," I mumbled.
"I'm going to talk to William and see if he'll buy me a train ticket to Halifax," Jack explained.
"Halifax?"
"It's where they're taking the bodies and allowing family and friends to claim their relatives. Fabrizio has no one else. I have to go."
"What are you going to tell Rose?" I questioned.
"I'm not going to tell her anything. I don't think she could bear it."
"And I could?"
"I thought you would want to know. You knew him better than Rose did."
"I barely knew him at all," I sadly smiled. "Everything went by so fast. In one night, my life changed forever."
"Life does that to you sometimes," Jack replied. I could hear Tommy call my name from the stairwell. Jack heard it too. "Go on, Anne. I'll talk to you later." Jack collected the paper and snuffed out his cigarette before leaving the parlor.
I didn't waste time finding my way out of the parlor and up to the top of the stairs. Tommy greeted me with a smile before concern overtook him.
"Anne, you look as though you've seen a ghost." I forced a faux smile as I kissed Tommy's cheek.
"I'm fine. I have to go and change for supper." I started towards my room when Tommy replied,
"Well then, I'll help you." He began to saunter behind me.
"No really, I don't want to impose." I felt Tommy's hand grab my shoulder and spin me around. He clasped my hands as his hazel eyes stared deep into my soul.
"Anne, you are a horrible liar." Knowing I could not conceal my feelings, I allowed Tommy to lead me to my room.
The blazing sun was steadily fleeting from the evening sky. When we arrived, Tommy motioned for me to sit on the bed as he pulled up a chair. My fingers gripped the blanket for dear life.
"Alright, spit it out," Tommy commanded. My heart began to race as sweat poured down my spine. My clothes seemed to stick to my skin. I felt a headache coming on.
But I had to do it. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't say something. Although Jack might be hesitant to tell Rose, Tommy deserved to know of Fabrizio's fate.
"They found Fabrizio's body." Tommy's eyes widened as confusion painted his features.
"What? How do you know?"
"Jack…Jack found an article. It had a passenger that matched Fabrizio's description…and Jack matched the identity with Fabrizio's ticket. He's…dead." Tommy hung his head and shut his eyes. Maybe he wished this was all a dream. How I wished we could all wake up.
"But Anne," Tommy whispered. "We knew that. We knew after we got off the Carpathia that he hadn't made it."
"I know," I replied as tears brimmed my eyes. "It's just…I don't know…I always secretly hoped that we were wrong. That he had made it. I guess…just finding him means…this is for real. We're not living in a dream. This is real." Tommy leaned closed to me and tucked a loose curl behind my ear.
"Somehow Anne, I don't believe that's not the whole truth." I was shocked and annoyed with his answer. At a time like this, he was accusing me of lying? I was fuming.
"You want the whole truth?!" I shouted as I pushed his hand away from me. "Well here it is. You don't know how many times I've replayed that awful night in my head; the moments before and the moments after I heard Jack and Cal's screams. I keep thinking if I hadn't run after them, if I hadn't run away, if I had just gotten into that stupid lifeboat that Fabrizio might still be alive. He died because of me! Because you weren't there to help him and went chasing after me, he didn't survive!"
By now, tears were blurring my vision. My sobs burned my lungs as I felt as though I was being stabbed with a thousand knives. The weight my heart held was becoming unbearable.
Tommy stared at me with astonishment. It was evident he had no knowledge of the pain I had been feeling. Tommy sighed as he rose from his chair and enveloped me in his arms.
Tears streamed down my face. Why couldn't I forgive myself? Why couldn't I just move on as though nothing had ever happened?
"I want it to stop, Tommy," I muffled amidst the tears. "I wish that I could tell myself it wasn't my fault. But…I can't. I can't forgive myself."
"You have to let go." Tommy whispered as he cradled my frail mass in his arms. "There was no guarantee we would have made it even if you had gotten on the boat. And besides, you saved me. I wouldn't have survived without you."
"I know," I shuddered, holding tightly to his chest. "I know."
Tommy's lips softly touched my own, sending warmth through my shivering bones. "We're going to get through this; I promise."
Just then, a knock came at my door. Within moments, Jack came plodding into the majestic suite. With his hands shoved into his pockets, he sighed. "I guess she told you about the news," glancing at Tommy. I finally managed to pull my countenance away from Tommy's chest.
"That's right," Tommy replied. "Although I do wish you had told me first. You can see you've got her crying."
Jack's head cowered towards the cold, lifeless floor. "For that, I apologize. But I wanted to come here to let you know of something."
"What?" I sniffled, trying to regain my composure.
"I've talked to William, and he's agreed to pay for me to go to Halifax."
"Halifax?" Tommy questioned. "What for?"
"It's where the Mackay-Bennett is transporting the bodies of the victims," I answered for him.
"I'm going there to claim Fabrizio's body. He has no family in America. I believe he deserves a proper burial."
"I want to go with you," I murmured.
"What?" Tommy inquired with shock.
"I want to go with Jack to claim Fabrizio."
"Anne, I don't think that's wise," Jack exclaimed.
"Why not?"
"You still have your fainting spells. When we get there, it won't be a pretty sight. I don't know if you could handle it."
"I'll manage. I promise that I'll be careful. I'm going with you, no matter what."
Jack stared at me in frustration. I knew he was trying to look out for me, but I was too stubborn to care. Tommy's hazel eyes gazed at me with shock. Why I wanted to go, I had no idea, but I needed to do this. This may be the only chance I would ever have to heal.
As Jack's mouth opened, the dinner bell rang to announce that supper was on the table. Disappointment painted Jack's countenance. "We will talk about this later," he announced. "For now, let's all just enjoy supper together. We've all had a long day."
Jack offered me his hand. Politely, I bowed and allowed him to escort me to our meal. Tommy followed close behind me. Despite the aroma of delicious dishes coming from the table, I don't believe any of us could erase the sorrow we felt.
Dinner was simple. Most of the banter exchanged at the table came from Rose and William. Occasionally, Mildred would voice her opinion on the subject; whether it would be economics, fashion, or politics. Tommy, Jack, and I savored our meal in silence. I wanted to talk to Tommy, but he was too enveloped in his thoughts. What I would have given to be afforded the opportunity to know what they were. Perhaps, we would talk after dinner.
But the opportunity never came. Tommy excused himself from the table early. He announced that he was tired and that he would be retiring to bed for the evening. As he left the room, I wished more than anything that I could will myself to chase after him. But my feet froze and only released their firm grip when Rose volunteered for the two of us to do the dishes.
"Is everything alright Anne?" Rose asked as she scraped the leftover crumbs off of the delicate china.
"It's nothing. I'd rather not talk about it," I answered. Rose respected my wishes and we quickly cleaned the dishes before joining everyone in the parlor.
After allowing Mary to attempt to draw a portrait of me (with Jack overseeing, of course), I excused myself to retire to my bedchamber. I had manifold thoughts that I needed to deal with. As I sauntered out of the parlor, Jack followed me.
"Anne!" he shouted, trying to catch my attention. I turned to find him striding up to me and whispering, "I leave at dawn. If you're coming with me, be ready by then."
"I will," I replied. "Thank you." Jack returned to the remaining party as I continued my trek up the numerous stairs. On my way to the suite, I crept into Tommy's room. Sweat poured down his face as he struggled amidst a deep and restless dream. If I did leave in the morning, I knew there wouldn't be time for goodbyes. I brushed a loose curl away from his forehead as I bent down and planted a kiss.
"I love you," I whispered. I didn't want to disturb him any further. He looked pale and as if he was coming down with something. I knew he hadn't slept well the past few nights; probably because he was worried more about me than himself. The conversations my heart wanted to hold could be saved for later. For now, Tommy needed his rest. I carefully plodded out of the darkness, leaving the one I loved behind.
I nearly collapsed as I reached my destination. I was exhausted and felt a fainting spell coming on. I asked a servant to bring me some tea as I undressed.
Confusing thoughts plagued my mind. What should I do? I wanted to go with Jack, but at the same time, I did not believe that I was ready to face the gruesome reality that lay ahead. I would see the faces of those who were not as fortunate as I was. Some of the deceased, I would know, while others had stories that would never be told. I knew I was lucky.
I wished that I could erase the nightmare and horrors that the tragedy had caused. Why couldn't we go back to that fateful sunset; when everything was perfect? How I wished that we all could've flown like Jack and Rose, jubilant and free.
I had to go with Jack. There was no question. I needed to heal and fulfill Fabrizio's dream. I owed that to him. I wondered how many times in my life I would owe someone because of my survival on that tragic night.
After finishing the cup of tea the servant had brought, I opened my closet and found the carpet bag that the Abbotts had given me. I began to stuff an assortment of clothing and trinkets that I would need for the trip in the morning. Likely, Tommy wouldn't approve, but I hoped he would at least understand my reasoning. My hopes were to inter my pain, grief, and nightmares along with Fabrizio's body. I had promised myself to never speak of the Titanic again when I returned.
I barely slept that night for once again the haunting nightmares seized my dreams. I hoped that a chance to rest on the train would ameliorate my restlessness. When the glimmers of dawn painted the sky, I rose from my bed to get dressed.
I adorned the same silver-colored traveling suit that I had arrived in. As I glared at myself in the mirror, thoughts of Cal swirled in my head. I bet that he would have never dreamed that I would be here. Perhaps, he believed I was living in the gutters of New York. I prayed every night that he would never find me.
After I finished getting ready, pebbles pelted my window. I peeked through the curtain to see Jack staring up from below. I smiled and signaled to him that I would be down in a few moments. Grabbing my bag, I left my room and began tiptoeing down the stairs. When I reached the bottom, I headed for door.
"I figured you'd leave me," a voice echoed as I reached for the doorknob. I turned around to see Tommy's hazel eyes illuminating in the shadows.
"I have to go," I answered.
"Why Anne?" Tommy asked as he stepped towards me. "I thought you wanted to put this all behind you."
"I do," I replied. "You don't understand." My hand traced Tommy's features. Tommy pushed my hand away.
"No, I don't understand. Do you know much danger you are putting yourself in?! You could get hurt; Cal could find you, or worse. You promised the doctor that you were going to rest and let yourself heal."
"And I am," I responded. "Do you think I'm doing this because it's fun? I'm going to bury my friend. I owe it to him."
"You don't owe him anything."
"You're wrong! I'm the reason he's dead. He should be alive! He deserved it more than anyone. I should've never left him. I should have just listened to you and done what I was supposed to do. I should've just boarded the lifeboat."
My faced cowered to the ground, I tried to contain the tears that threatened to flood my powdered countenance. Tommy's brawny hands held my cheeks. "Listen to me; we've talked about this. You've got to let this go."
A single tear flowed down my face onto Tommy's hand. I stared into his eyes. "Do you remember when you told me on the Carpathia that if you had caused my death, you couldn't live yourself? That's what I feel like. I know that going won't bring him back, but maybe it will help me to heal."
I looked into Tommy's eyes that were brimmed with tears. I knew the memories were flooding his mind. I reached for him and mashed his lips against my own. When I forced myself back, I whispered, "Please, Tommy, let me go."
Tommy sighed, "The last time I let you go, I almost lost you forever."
"I promise you this," I whispered. "No matter what happens, however far apart we may be, there is nothing on this earth that will ever keep me from coming back to you. I will always find my way back to you, no matter how hard I have to fight."
Tommy planted a kiss on top of my chestnuts curls. "I love you." I kissed his cheek.
"I love you too." Just then, Jack came striding through the door.
"Anne, it's time to go," he announced. "We have a train to catch."
"I'll be right there," I replied.'
I turned around to Tommy and kissed him passionately. I wanted the kiss to linger as long as possible. "I wish you would come with us," I whispered.
"Aye, I'd like that too. But I haven't been feeling well. I figure it's best if I stay here. Besides, you can tell me everything when upon your return."
"Very well," I smiled. I gave Tommy one more kiss and quickly embraced him before following Jack to the awaiting car. As we drove away, I peered back to see Tommy watching us from the porch. How I would miss him, always.
William drove us to the train station, bought us two tickets to Halifax, and shared his goodbye. "You two be safe. Wire us where you are staying and if you need anything."
"Of course," Jack replied. We made our goodbyes before Jack held my hand and began marching towards the train. "Are you ready for this?" he asked me.
"As ready as I will ever be," I answered. Jack helped me onto the train and guided us to our seats.
As the train pulled away, the memories of the past few weeks swirled through my mind. I thought about how the first train ride off the Titanic should have been to Philadelphia, for the wedding. Now that wedding was never to be. Instead, I was traveling in the opposite direction, for an event I wish would have never happened.
Silence filled the train car as it raced towards Halifax. With Jack drawing and nothing for me to do, I found myself just staring out the window at the countryside. The spring flowers in bloom, the rays of sunshine, and breathtaking view of the landscape helped to ease the pain that filled my heart.
From my lack of sleep the night before, I was exhausted. My eyes drooped until I succumbed to a deep sleep. It was only when the train hit rough terrain was I jolted awake. To my surprise, I gazed at Jack to find him still drawing.
"You've been drawing for the past several hours Jack," I exclaimed. After what seemed like an eternity, his cerulean eyes peered up from the paper that had engrossed him.
"You've been sleeping." I laughed at his comment.
"Well what on earth have been sketching?" I asked with curiosity.
"You," he replied. He turned the paper around to reveal the stenciled artwork of me gazing out the window. I stared at it with awe.
"It's beautiful," I pronounced. "No one has ever drawn me like the way you have. It is unique." Growing up, whenever I wanted a portrait made, my mother would have only the finest painters come and order me to sit for hours on end. I cringed at the thought of those days.
"Well, besides falling asleep on me, you made a wonderful muse," Jack beamed. I laughed, only the way Jack always made me do so well.
For the next hour, we discussed an array of subjects; our past, our future, our likes and dislikes. All the while, I started to see the true colors of the man Rose loved. Unlike Cal, Jack's colors weren't dark or hideous; they were bright, full of passion, and adventure.
Just then, the conductor notified the passengers that we would be arriving in Halifax soon. Jack's cheerful smile faded into a somber sigh. For awhile, I realized we both had forgot why we were here. Now, it came surging back, leaving us filled with dread.
"The Mackay-Bennett doesn't arrive in port until tomorrow. We can find a room and then make the arrangements for the burial. I'm hoping to be home sooner than later."
"Where is home, Jack?" I sighed. "Right now, we don't have anywhere or anything to call our own. Even now, we're relying on other people's kindness and generosity."
"There's no shame in asking for help, Anne."
"No, but we have nothing! You don't understand Jack. I've come from a life where I never had to worry; I was never in need of anything. Now, the only thing I can call my own is the dress I wore the night of the sinking. Everything else is gone."
"I know," Jack concurred. "But at least, we're all okay."
"Not all of us," I sighed. Jack understood that I meant Fabrizio. By then, the train had stopped and everyone was getting off. Jack grabbed our bags and began to leave the stuffy cabin.
As Jack helped me down, a stinging chill filled my bones. I had been spoiled by the country sunshine. As I shivered, I realized I had not been this cold since the Carpathia.
"Let's go," Jack ordered. We sauntered through the streets as we searched for a nearby hotel. The salty air coming from the nearby Atlantic brought terrors from that fateful night. The entire town seemed to be in mourning. Hundreds were in Halifax, although most remained somber and quiet. We all knew what was to come in the morning.
The golden sunshine that had greeted us this morning was gone. In its place, gray clouds loomed over the city. Puddles of mud ruined my boots as the drizzling rain began to soak my freezing mass. "We're almost there Anne," Jack announced. "We'll be warm soon."
I couldn't wait to get to a hotel. I felt a headache coming on and feared what would follow. Sensing my uneasiness, Jack ordered a carriage to stop so that I could rest. We traveled throughout the city until we finally found a place that wasn't full.
"It seems everyone is here to claim their relatives," I noted as Jack helped me down.
"Many of the victims have still yet to be identified," Jack explained. "Everyone is just desperate for answers."
We paid the coachman and stared at the building before us. It wasn't as opulent or garish as some of the other places in town, but it appeared to be able to sustain us for the night.
"Welcome!" the lady at the counter greeted when we opened the door. She wore an apron against her pale pink dress. Her emerald eyes lit up as Jack and I entered the room. "Come in! You two poor angels must be tired. It's a good thing you didn't stay out there for long. You might catch a cold if you're not careful."
"Yes ma'am," Jack smiled.
"Oh please excuse my manners. I'm Katherine Bowman; but you may call Miss Kate. You two angels looking for a room?"
"Yes ma'am," Jack replied.
"What are your names?"
"Jack and…"
"Jack and Anne Abbott," I finished for him. Shock painted Jack's features, but I ignored him. If for some reason Cal was in Halifax, I knew the names Widener and Dawson were not safe.
Miss Kate jotted down our names in her folder and smiled. "Well all right then, it's settled. Your room is upstairs on the left. Breakfast is served at 8 a.m. and supper at 6 p.m. You'll have to find somewhere else for lunch. It takes a lot to cook for many folks."
"We understand," I replied. "Thank you for your hospitality." I trailed behind Jack as he marched up the stairs to our room. Unfortunately, we were greeted with the realization of only one bed for the two of us.
"Well…it looks like it's back to sleeping on the floor for me," Jack moaned.
"I can take the floor."
"No, Anne," Jack laughed. "It's fine." He strode across the room and placed our bags on the bed. In addition to the iron-framed bed, there was a nearby washbasin, a desk, and a pair of wooden drawers. It was small, but intimate. I was glad to call it ours for the night.
After settling in, Jack announced, "I'm going to see if I can find a minister to perform the burial rites for Fabrizio."
"Well, I'm coming with you."
"No, you're not," Jack exclaimed. "You nearly fainted getting here from the train station. You can come with me tomorrow. For now, stay here and rest. I won't be gone long."
Despite my longing to go with him, I obeyed Jack's orders and watched as he vanished into the streets of Halifax. After Jack left, I decided to busy myself with unpacking our belongings. There wasn't much to unpack, but organizing everything helped to distract myself from my wandering thoughts about Tommy, Fabrizio, and the future.
Feeling a fainting spell coming on, I decided it was best if I took a nap. I didn't feel tired, but at least it might help me to gather my strength for tomorrow. With the sights and smells of death that my mind had concocted, I was sure it would take every fiber of sheer will that I had left. A dreamless sleep soon captured me as I curled up on the bed.
"Wake up sleepyhead," I heard a voice call. "Don't make me have to kiss you; because I promise you, it won't be pretty."
"Eww!" I shouted as my eyes fluttered open. "I'm awake, I'm awake." Jack helped me up as he was laughing. "I don't think that was very funny."
"Oh, I beg to differ," he snickered. "Miss Kate has some dinner on the table. If you don't like that, there's a restaurant down the street."
"I'm willing to give Miss Kate's cooking a try."
I freshened up my face and bun before heading down the stairs with Jack. The aroma of fresh delicacies made me salivate. I longed for my roaring hunger pains to cease.
Downstairs, we were greeted by Miss Kate and several of her other guests. I glanced at different tables before we were motioned by Miss Kate to sit at one in the corner. Jack politely pulled out my chair. "Just like in a nickelodeon?" I asked.
"Why, or course," Jack beamed.
During our meal, I learned where Jack had gone that afternoon. He had found a minister who agreed to perform the burial, a wagon for transportation, and he had wired William, Rose and Tommy. "I told them where we were staying and that we missed them dearly."
"That's good," I smiled. My eyes caught a glimpse of the storm that had situated over the area. Buckets of rain poured down from the heavens. It was as if God Himself was leading a trail of tears for those who would shed many more tomorrow.
"Jack, tell me about Fabrizio," I exclaimed. "I know I seem foolish to mourn the loss of a man I barely even knew."
"It's not foolish Anne," Jack assured me. "I have sometimes, found myself crying for those who cannot cry for themselves."
"I want to know who he was. He seemed very charming…and funny."
"He was," Jack laughed. "I met him a year ago in Italy. I was traveling the world, fulfilling my dreams. One night, I was hustled by an angry mob. They wanted my money, but I only had about 10 bucks in my pocket. It was all I had to live on. So, I lied, saying I didn't have anything. They didn't believe me and began to beat me, striking me over and over. If Fabrizio, and his brother Raphael, had not come when they did, I wouldn't be here today. They stopped the fighting and carried me back to their home. His family took care of me, nursed me, and treated me as if I was one their own. Overtime, I became great friends with Fabrizio. I told him all about my travels, the places I went and hoped to go. It's funny, when I finally left his house, I heard Fabrizio yelling and turned around to see him following me. He had his bag in his hand and told me he wanted to go with me. From there on, we were the best of friends."
"It sounds like Fabrizio," I acknowledged.
I thought about Fabrizio's dreams and his life that was cut too short. He didn't care about riches or fame, all he wanted was to live in America and to spend the rest of his life with his Norwegian beauty. Now, they were living together up in heaven amongst the stars.
I found myself peering into the night. "Do you think they know Jack?" I pondered. "When someone you love dies, do they really look down and watch over you?"
Jack stared out the window, perhaps looking for the stars. "Perhaps; I always like to think that they do. It makes it less painful. You feel like even though they're dead, there is still a part of them alive." Jack peered into my soul. "A part of Fabrizio lives in you as he lives it me. I happen to think our lives aren't measured in the amount of days we spend in this world; they're measured in the lives that we touch."
"That's very true, Jack," I sighed. "I just wish he was still here."
"I know," Jack replied. "We all do. We can't change the past, but we can honor Fabrizio's life by making each day count; where we don't worry about what tomorrow brings. Rather, we don't waste the gift we've been given. No matter what happens Anne, promise me you won't waste your gift."
"I promise," I smiled. Jack nudged my shoulder.
"Cheer up, after all, this is your first date." My mouth dropped open.
"Jack Dawson! You should very well know that I already had my first date. And it was not with some clown like you."
"Hurtful Anne," Jack snickered. "Really hurtful. So tell me, who was the charming gentleman?"
"Tommy,"
"What, on the Carpathia? A real cute place for a first date."
"Oh, shut up," I laughed as I slapped him on his shoulder. "And it was not on the Carpathia, thank you. Tommy treated to a Third Class dinner."
"Doesn't count," he winked.
"What do you mean?"
"There were people around. A date is when you're by yourselves."
"I know what a date is, genius," I exclaimed. "Besides, there are people around here." Jack laughed. "This is not a date Jack Dawson and if you try to kiss me, I swear I'll slap you across the face."
Jack scooted back. "No, no, I wasn't planning on that. I only give kisses to my girl. Tommy can have all of your kisses for all I care. Otherwise, I fear Rose's mighty hand. She did yield an ax once, you know?" We both roared with laughter at the thought. Laughter's medicine shook through my bones, sending relief. Jack's comment would not be the only time I laughed throughout dinner. There would be many more.
That night, I lay in my bed, my thoughts were consumed with concerns for Tommy. I hoped he was resting better than he had the previous nights. I also hoped he was doing well at William's company. Jack had told me that the work was not easy, but the pay was decent. I knew that if a strong Irishman like Tommy could survive the freezing Atlantic, he was capable of doing anything. I hoped to be reunited with Tommy soon.
The next morning, the ginger sun peaked through the gray clouds. It felt good to feel the warmth of the sunlight dancing across my face again. With the wounds tragedy being reopened today, the luminary's beams provided a beacon of hope.
I donned the same black dress that I had disembarked the Carpathia in. Placing the veil over my features, I felt relief that the bruises and contusions that had littered my face were gone. I hoped after today, I would never have to wear this again.
When I was ready, Jack escorted me down the stairs to the wagon he had rented outside. After we claimed Fabrizio, we were to meet the minister at the Mount of Olives Cemetery. Reports stated that victims who were not claimed would be interred there.
Hundreds of people crowded the pier as the Mackay-Bennett unloaded its cargo. Reporters squeezed through the crowds to photograph this tragic event as others begged for stories from their friends and relatives. I wanted to vomit at their disgusting behavior. Didn't they understand? I wondered if they ever would.
Jack parked the wagon just outside of the assembly. He jumped down and began dashing towards the mob. "Just stay with the wagon!" he shouted. "I'll be right back!"
I scanned the surrounding area for any familiar faces. When the gangway landed onto the pier, a massive herd of figures crowded into mail sacks slowly edged its way down the gangway. It wasn't long before the fowl stench of death reached my nostril. Bile rose in my throat and instigated the overwhelming desire to wrench out the contents of my breakfast. But the olfactory of rotting flesh could not mask the cries and screams of the family and friends who saw the bodies for the first time.
It suddenly hit them. Their loved one was really gone. They saw the bodies, deathly still. My heart went out to those whose loved ones still had no name. Rather, they were forced to sift through the field of those whose identities remained unknown. From a distance, they all appeared to be just as they were when I was in the freezing waters, frozen solid.
Time passed slowly as the mass slowly faded out into the city streets. There were only about 300 bodies, but many more people had turned up to pay their respects. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Jack returned carrying one of the corpses in his arms.
Jack's eyes darted away from my own. For a brief moment, they locked onto mine, making my heart stop. It was evident Jack had found Fabrizio much earlier, but his insurmountable grief had propelled him to release his emotions in private.
"Are we ready to go?" I asked. I didn't dare question Jack anymore about what had happened or where he had been. His telling eyes gave me the answers.
Jack loaded the body onto the back of the wagon. Instead of returning to his seat, he hurried back towards the pier. "Where are you going?" I yelled.
"I'll be right back," he replied. "I have to go and get one more."
One more
Oh God, who was it now? Wasn't the cargo of one victim enough? I swiftly scoured my brain to conjure up any idea of who it could be. It didn't take long for me to have my answer.
Jack came sauntering back with a corpse that had a smaller frame. Despite being secured tightly, a single golden curl peeked out of the sack. My heart shattered into pieces as I realized who I was staring at.
Helga
My friend, my dear friend that I had nearly forgotten in my grief for Fabrizio; my weak heart began to fail me. How could I take this? How could anyone take this? I remembered how I watched her fall from the railing of the stern. The piercing scream that followed her down the length of the ship still rattled through my ears.
Jack gently placed her next to Fabrizio before tightly securing them in the back of the wagon. When Jack settled into his seat, the horse began to trot away from the pier. Most of the ride to the cemetery was filled with silence. When the Mackay-Bennett was far behind us, Jack finally spoke, "I thought they should be buried together. It's what they would have wanted."
The words I had to say died in my mouth. I couldn't turn around and face them. I nodded to signal to Jack that I agreed with him. As we entered the cemetery, the only presence I felt was the presence of death.
For the next hour, Jack and the minister dug the two graves as I strolled around the cemetery collecting an assortment of flowers.
At my father's funeral, I didn't remember much of the service in detail. He died when I was only five. But the memory that struck a chord deep in my soul was the smell of flowers. Despite the sadness and grief we all felt the day, the sweet aroma of springtime flowers permeated the church at his service. The wildflowers and weeds I picked could never compare to the plethora of flowers that decorated that church. I just hoped it would be a sweet token that Fabrizio and Helga could acknowledge in the heavens above.
The service finished quickly. The minister blessed both Fabrizio and Helga individually before Jack placed them into their graves. I scattered an assortment of wildflowers over them before Jack opened a bag we had brought and sprinkled dirt into the holes. "Fabrizio always wanted to see American soil. Now…he will be buried in it."
It was then that I could hold it in no longer. Tears began to flow down my face as Jack pressed his chest to mine. I could feel hot tears from Jack's face burn my shoulders. They were gone, truly gone. It was the first time today that I had bothered to let my emotions go.
There were no words of assurance or comfort spoken, just silence. The presence of someone to cling to was enough for both Jack and I. I cried for the hopes, the dreams, the futures that would never come to pass. I realized as Tommy said, it was time to let it go.
When we had finally finished the burial and shed our tears until they were dry, Jack and I traveled back to Miss Kate's. Jack dropped me off as he left to return the wagon to its owner. By now, sunset was approaching. The black attire I wore had glued to the sweat that poured down my back in the blistering heat. I changed into a cool lavender dress with ruffles on the skirt as I let my tangled tresses flow freely. I was relieved to be out of the scorching sun.
As I hung my dress and veil back up in the closet, a knock came to my door. "Come in!" I shouted. The door creaked open to reveal Miss Kate. "Hello Miss Kate!"
"Greetings child," she smiled. "How did all of the arrangements go? Jack told me about it this morning."
"It went well," I sighed. "As well as can be." Miss Kate nodded.
"I don't mean to intrude, but a telegram came for you." I took the sealed envelope from her fingers.
"Thank you, Miss Kate," I smiled.
"Bless you, child," she replied. "Shall I be seeing both you and Jack for supper?"
"Yes ma'am, we are planning on it."
"All right then, see you then!" As she closed the door, Miss Kate yelled, "My mighty beef stew awaits!" I giggled as she trampled down the stairs. She was a jolly soul, a pleasant face in the midst of heartache.
When she was gone, I warily opened the telegram. I knew it was from William. It had to be; only he knew where we were. As I carefully read it, my heart began to race as my legs began to cave. Oh no! Oh God no! Why? Why now? Why him? Hot tears began to stream down my cheeks. I read it over and over again, hoping that it was wrong. It wasn't. The telegram specifically read,
Anne,
Urgent! Come home. Tommy is gravely ill; Scarlet fever. Doctor says he won't last much longer. -William
"No!" I screamed. I collapsed onto the bed and began to sob. I couldn't lose him. I had already said too many goodbyes. Now, death was threatening to claim one more soul, and it was the one that would shatter my heart into a thousand pieces.
Tommy was dying.
A/N: Dun dun dun! (*cues dramatic music) I'm so mean, but if you didn't figure it out already, I love drama. Hooray! Chapter Eight is complete! I hope you enjoyed it. Tommy's fate now lies in my hand and I have no problem with killing him. I'm still debating, but you may change my mind if you review! Your suggestions and comments also help to make this story better. Let me know if you prefer longer chapter like this or the usual. Feel free to check out my poll on my profile for what might happen later on in the story. Also, don't forget to favorite and/or follow this story. This next chapter is the one I've been waiting for…you're not going to want to miss it! Thank you all for being such awesome fans! The next chapter should be posted soon. So…until then! –C.M. Singer :)
