Emmet
Bella
Edward
twilightisawesometwilightisawesometwilightisawesometwilightisawesometwilightisawesome
Hey, Dooney and Bella.
Hello Eddicakes!
?
I'm BellaSamonellacakes. Rosalie is Rosetoescakes. Emmet is frogcakes. Jasper is Jazzbandcakes. Alice is spikycakes. (giggling) You see?
(just stares)
Edward?
Yes?
When are we going to play Who's Hot and Who's Not? I really liked that game. It was so stupid!
Soon. Now that the reader's votes are in, we're going to decide with a dice who wins based on their choices.
Readers? People are reading this?!? I wonder what they think of our conversations.
They probably think we're a bunch of losers that have nothing better to do than pass notes in our eternity of existence.
Or they think we're secret rockstars like Hannah Montana. (gasps) Uh oh. They know our secret. The vampire one.
The whole world knows our secret. Ever since that chick Stephanie Meyer released a whole series just on us.
Coolio! (munches)
Bella, what are you eating?
Nothing.
I hear you eating like a cow. Now what is it?
None of your business.
Answer me.
Nosy pants.
(sees chocolate) M&M's? Bella...
What?!?
You know what happens when you eat M&M's..
No I don't. Wait. Do I turn into a superhero? (excitedly)
No.
What do ya mean?!?!? I went hopping like the energizer bunny last time and then crash landed on Esme's antique table and broke it in half!!! You don't call that a superpower?
Bella, you are truly clueless.
Clueless. That remind me of that game Clue. Emmet lost so he ripped the board in shreds and flushed them down the toilet. That reminds me of that really, really nasty toilet in Port Angeles that was in the movie theater. And that reminds me of when we saw that movie Brokeback Mountain and --
Bella! Just chill!!!
Hold you unicorns, Anthony!
Anthony?
Yeah. That's your name isn't it?
My name is Edward.
But your middle name is Anthony.
I don't like to be called Anthony. It just doesn't...suit me. You know?
No.
(a little impatiently) Well, call me Edward.
Anthony.
Edward.
Anthony.
Edward.
Anthony freaking Cullen.
Edward freaking Cullen.
Anthony's Pizza.
EDWARD.
Anthony the Panthony Cullen.
Oh yeah? Oh yeah?!? (tries to be gangsta)
???!!!
Bella MARIE!!! MARIE!!! Marie. Spelled M-A-R-I-E. How do you like that now, huh? What now? What now?!?
What the hell was that?!? (falls to the ground laughing) That was the LAMEST comeback in all of vamp history. It clearly wasn't related to ANYTHING we were talking about.
Who's being the smartazz now? (raises his hands) You know what, just be quiet. You, Isabella Marie Swan, just pissed off the hot, golden eyed, and crooked smile guy, EDWARD Cullen.
Fine. Be that way.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I'm mad at you.
I am too.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Bob thinks you're ugly.
I don't give a crap what Bob thinks.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
This sucks. Do you just want to be not mad at each other again?
Yeah. (relieved) I do.
(share a hug and a quick peck on cheeks)
Bella, dear, you are my swan in a sparkling lake.
And you are my moonlight in the California sunny sky.
??
Hey.
What dear?
Emmet was a meanie.
For doing what?
He played a prank on me yesterday! And I fell for it!
So totally you.
So...
(stares) Bella...what did you do?
(laughs loudly) Nothing too severe. He'll survive.
Bella!
What?!? So what if I wrapped him in toilet paper like a mummy while he was asleep?
BELLA!
What did I do?
(just groans)
Oooh.
(exasperatingly) What?
I think the M&M's are kicking in.
I want to be Spider Man today. I want to fly through the house and climb on the walls.
Oh god no.
Spider Man it is!
You will be Iron Man, Bella.
Yahhh! What does he do?
He sits on the floor like a piece of iron. The End.
Awww. That's no fun.
Hey, but how about that part when he breaks through a wall of rock and shoots fire from a flamethrower? Can I do that? Please, please?
(open mouthed) No!!!!!! You certainly cannot.
Ergawhmaseean! Purr lika Kittia!!! (wild)
I think the M&M's are doing their "magic". Just what I freaking need.
(jumps up and down) JUMPERIERMEEEER!!!
Bella, please just calm down...
(frantic) NO! MO! CHO! WOAH!
...
M! &! M'S! WANTIE...MORE!!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------
One hour later.
--------------------------------------------------------
CHICKA CHIACK WANG DANG.
Bella! Get down from the ceiling!!! Now!
OKEE DOKEE. (jumps down) WOOOH!!!
...
Hi Edward!
Bella? You're back! Thank goodness.
Yep.
Promise me you won't eat fifteen bags of M&M's again.
I promise to myself. He he.
(From down the hallway, Emmet enters through the door, covered from head to toe with toilet paper)
Emmie's awake.
(muffled) Ge mu owt uf is tolet papa!
Sorry Emmie the Froggers, it's payback.
Chut up, 'Ella. (walks blindly around)
What was that, Frog? I'm sorry but I can't help you if you are going to mumble. It's not a good habit.
(angry) Wer da 'ell r yoo 'Ella?!?
What did you say, Frog? I don't think I can understand your nonsense.
(walks into the wall) Crap, supid woll. I can nat bweac owt uf dis tolet papa. Wha de heck.
(rolling his eyes) She wrapped you around like a thousand times with toilet paper. Emmet, I swear you can sleep through anything.
I giv up. (collapes on floor) Yoo win 'Ella.
(faces Edward) The only thing sweeter than you Eddiecakes is revenge. Sweet, sweet revenge.
I fill lik a mumme.
You are a mummy! You're wrapped up in stuff and you're also the living dead! Duh!
Onc I git owt of dis...
Keep on wishing Emmet.
(winks at Edward) Hey Edward, I'm hugreee. Want to go to Subway?
(joins in 'joke') Sure Bells. Emmet, you want to come?
Yeees, plwez.
What was that?
Dat wez a yeees.
I'm sorry but I can't make out your words. I'll just take that for a no.
No!
Oh, you said no? Okay, let's go Bella.
(Edward and Bella run out the door)
Noo! I meent yeees!
Guys?
R yoo dar?
Helloo?!?
(sighs)
I 'ate yoo guys.
