A/N: Sorry I'm a couple days late with this chapter, according to my plans. This chapter is twice as long as my usual though, and timeliness will always suffer before quality. Does that help make up for it? :-) Enjoy!


Chapter 8 – Are We Doing This?


Gorgeous blonde tangles of hair lay tantalizingly across her face, begging to be brushed back to uncover the creamy soft cheeks and luscious neck hidden beneath. Rachel just wanted to run her hands through those tousled locks as Quinn slept beside her, pushing them back behind her ears so she could plant sweet kisses across that strong jaw and over to an ear lobe, then nibble her way down her neck. She had woken curled up next to Quinn, who was now lying partly on her side and leaning on her stomach, with one leg bent for support. It reminded her of a position she saw in a magazine describing comfortable positions for pregnant mothers to sleep in, which made it all the more endearing, knowing that Quinn had been… was… a mother herself. Had she picked up this position from those months? It was sad to think how alone Quinn must have felt all those nights, no one to share a bed with and comfort her when she needed it. No one's hand to grab and place on her extended belly when she was awoken by little kicks at night. 'Why couldn't we have realized our mutual attraction years ago?' she asked herself. Well, if last night was any indication, she was pretty sure it was mutual.

Rachel continued to stare at the angelic vision before her, letting out a contented sigh. She'd been wanting to gently reach over and touch Quinn for what seemed like an hour now, but she looked so peaceful lying there, Rachel was a little afraid to disturb the sleeping beauty. How would Quinn react the morning after a night like last night? Would she recant her declaration of love and dismiss her public displays of affection, blaming it all on the alcohol and the heat of the moment? Would she retreat to a protective shell of denial? Or worse, would she lash out at Rachel from embarrassment, undoing all the progress they had made as friends?

Then again, what if Quinn woke up with a smile on her face and pounced on her, pinning her down by the wrists and kissing her senseless until Kyra woke up and threw water on the two of them?! Oh, THAT would be nice.

What should she even call Quinn now? Her BFF? Her girlfriend? Her 'romantic entanglement'? 'Oh Rachel, don't be a dork,' she chastised herself.

She had so many questions and her brain just would not shut up. She began to worry her lip as conflicting thoughts raced through her head and played tug of war with each other.

"Stop thinking so loudly," murmured Quinn without opening an eye, startling Rachel out of her thoughts. "I can hear you from here."

"Sorry," whispered Rachel, grimacing at the idea of disturbing Quinn's much needed recuperative sleep. "I..I didn't mean to wake you."

A smile stretched across Quinn's face as her eyelashes casually fluttered open to look warmly into Rachel's worried eyes. "I'm teasing, Rach. It's nice to wake up next to you, loud thoughts and all," said Quinn.

Rachel visibly let go of some of the tension that had stiffened her body.

Quinn leaned closer and popped a kiss on the brunette's lips. "Good morning, Rach."

"Good morning, Quinn," replied Rachel, pleasantly surprised at the immediate show of affection. Okay, so maybe today wouldn't be as bad as she feared. "How's your head feel?"

"Like I threw myself against a stone wall."

"Oh, baby…" Rachel cringed.

"Actually my hand is what hurts the most," Quinn winced as she looked at her bandaged stitches. "At least nothing's broken… so what were you stressing about, little bear?" asked Quinn, reaching over to stroke Rachel's cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Oh…nothing. Well, kind of everything I guess."

"Well that narrows it down."

"I couldn't sleep any longer. I have so many questions running through my mind."

"Like?"

"Well, for starters, like which Quinn would wake up next to me."

"Which Quinn?" scoffed Quinn.

"I must admit I was preparing myself for several possibilities," Rachel offered.

"I see," said Quinn as she slowly nodded her head to what she was hearing, pulling her arm back to her chest. "Am I really that unpredictable?" Quinn wondered aloud, though sounding like she already knew the answer.

"I worry that you might have second thoughts," replied Rachel. She really didn't want to start off their day putting Quinn on the defensive and risk her shutting down, but she had to know what this was between them. Was last night real? Did something really just happen between them?

"But last night-"

"Last night was a whirlwind of emotions, Quinn. And I don't know where we stand or what this is now," said Rachel as her voice trailed off.

Quinn lay in silent contemplation for a moment while Rachel fretted beside her.

'Okay, Quinn…' Rachel thought, trying not to look too desperate for reassurance, 'this is where you assuage all my fears and tell me again that you love me and will never let me go.'

"We should go for a walk, Rach," Quinn finally suggested. "I don't want to talk about this here."

"Oh…okay," Rachel agreed quietly, faking a smile on her face. 'Of course,' Rachel's inner dialogue continued, 'silly me, I would have to be insane to think that a relationship with Quinn could be all sunshine and kittens.'

"Come on," Quinn bumped her shoulder against Rachel's playfully. "I'm starving, and in need of drugs. Let's wake up Kyra and go get brunch."

Quinn bounced out of bed and trotted over to Kyra's.

"Right, let's get Kyra," Rachel sighed behind her. 'Why talk about this now when we could wait until right before I go?'

Rachel sat up to once again follow Quinn's lead while Heart's song, Alone, crept in to her head and began mocking her:

How do I get you alone?

How do I get you alone?

'Oh, shut UP Ann Wilson!'


An hour later, Rachel was returning to their table in the dining hall with a bowl of fruit and a kale smoothie on her tray when she stopped dead in her tracks. Her jaw dropped in horror at the sickening display of unbridled passion that Kyra and Quinn (of all people!) were putting on before her eyes. The sound of lips smacking and moans of sheer ecstasy emanating from the two of them were unbearable to witness.

"Oh my god, Kyra, this is incredible!" groaned Quinn. "I've never had bacon this good."

"I know, right?!" agreed Kyra. "Maple-flavored bacon is unbelievable. I could eat a pound of it."

"Good thing it's all-you-can-eat then," added Quinn. "I'm going to get some more! Oh, hi Rach!"

"You guys are disgusting," Rachel grimaced before sitting down across from Kyra.

"I'm so happy to have a bacon-loving roomie," said Kyra before folding another piece into her mouth. "She's the best. No one else in my family will eat pork. All I could get my mom to make at home was turkey bacon. It's just not the same. Mmmmm," Kyra groaned in satisfaction.

"I suppose I'll have to learn how to cook it if Quinn ever comes down to New York to visit me. Do you think she'd notice if I bought meatless bacon instead and just soaked it in maple syrup?"

"That soy bacon? Fakon? Eww, gross. No. My mom tried that on me too. It's disgusting. It even looks fake," Kyra said, turning up her nose.

"Well, maybe she just didn't have the right spices and fresh herbs on hand to sprinkle in," suggested Rachel. Honestly, some people just didn't make an effort to do the proper research when it came to preparing alternative meals.

"Oh look!" Kyra sat up taller and waved. "Hayley's joining us!"

Rachel turned around and looked behind her shoulder just in time to find the tall brunette giving a hug to Quinn near the buffet tables. "Oh…yay," said Rachel dispassionately. She let herself stare just a little bit longer than customary. Logically she knew she should be thanking Hayley, and owed her for stopping her from buying a ticket for the next train last night, but how much of it really was Hayley's choice, anyway? When she was standing at the ticket counter, next in line, and happened to glance over to her right, Hayley looked almost startled when they recognized each other. What if Rachel hadn't looked over? Would Hayley have pretended not to see her and let her go back to New York? The sight of her hugging Quinn now was doing nothing to stop the knot forming in her stomach. She didn't think of herself as a jealous person, but with Quinn, somehow everything was different. She was already feeling possessive, and she didn't even know what they had together! This wasn't like her! She quickly turned back around when they broke from their embrace before they had a chance to catch her staring.

Kyra looked at her and her mouth started to move as if she wanted to say something, but then dropped her gaze down to her glass of orange juice instead, reaching over and taking a sip.

Rachel didn't have as much of an appetite any longer.

A few anxious moments later, Quinn and Hayley appeared at the table and sat down across from each other, Quinn sitting next to Rachel, thank goodness.

"Hi Kyra," said Hayley as she pulled in her chair. "Rachel."

"Hello Hayley. Nice to see you again," Rachel replied, pasting on a smile and using all her willpower to refrain from saying what was really on her mind at the sight of her.

"Nice to see you too. So sweet that you're still here," replied Hayley.

"I wouldn't dream of leaving Quinn alone when she is in need of medical care," Rachel countered.

"Oh, don't worry. We'll keep taking care of her when you're back in New York," smiled Hayley. "When are you going back, anyway?"

"Tonight, I suppose," replied Rachel.

Rachel noticed Quinn looking back and forth between them, not moving a muscle, like she was ready to jump in between them at any moment. Honestly, Quinn should learn to have more faith in her control and acting ability. Rachel knew how to handle a threat like Hayley, and unlike certain boys in high school, she would not need to resort to any physical display of territorial dominance in public. This sort of thing could be handled verbally and discreetly, in private if necessary.

Quinn cleared her throat before the tennis match could devolve. "Rachel and I are going for a walk after brunch. What are you two doing today?"

"Tim and I are going to catch a movie later after I finish a paper for English," Kyra jumped in without delay. "Hayley, you're welcome to come with."

"Nah, that's okay. I've got a chem exam to study for. Quinn, you wanna drop by later when Rachel has gone? I can quiz you on our notes."

"Thanks, but I-"

"Excuse me," interrupted Rachel, her chair screeching back when she stood from the table. "This fruit isn't very appetizing. I'm going to see what else there is in the buffet."

Rachel picked up her tray and headed over to see what else she could find, dropping the bowl of fruit in the trash can as she passed by it. 'Nice going, Rachel,' she thought to herself. 'Way to maintain control of the situation.' Obviously this was going to be more of a challenge than she thought. Maybe she was out of her league here. 'Maybe I'm just not ready for the Ivy League,' scoffed Rachel, chastising herself for her abrupt departure at the earliest signs of trouble.

She sighed and looked back over at the table she'd just left. It looked like Quinn and Hayley were in a heated argument, Hayley's hands flying up in the air in what appeared to be exasperation while Quinn sat with her arms crossed. It could be worse, she thought, they could just be laughing. She looked over the remains on the buffet table, deciding to go with a plain bagel, and then started looking for a toaster. 'Oh Lord, I wasn't prepared to go back into competitive mode,' she thought. 'I thought I'd left that behind when I graduated high school.'


"What the hell is wrong with you?" Quinn demanded of Hayley when Rachel was out of earshot.

"Um…what do you mean?"

"'Don't worry, we'll take care of her when you're back in New York'," mimicked Quinn. "'Drop by later Quinn when Rachel's gone?' You're being extremely insensitive."

"Oh come on, Quinn. I didn't mean anything by it. Is her self-esteem really that fragile?" Hayley retorted.

"Bullshit, Hayley, you knew exactly what you were saying. You're abusing your power in this situation, and you know it. Show some tact for God's sake," Quinn commanded.

"I'm trying, Quinn," said Hayley between clenched teeth, meeting Quinn's scowl. "Really, I am. This is just…not how I expected this weekend to turn out."

"Oh? What…Rachel actually liking me? Gee, thanks for your support," glared Quinn.

"Okay, guys," Kyra interjected. "This is getting out of hand. Hayley, please, Quinn's right. Just think a little more about what you're saying, okay? You'll have plenty of time to work out whatever is going on between you two later, but let's not do it today while Quinn's guest, Rachel, is here? Please?!"

"Fine," sighed Hayley. "I'm sorry."

"It's not us you should be saying sorry to," said Quinn.

"What am I supposed to say, Quinn? 'Sorry my shitty feelings spilled over and ruined your breakfast'?"

"Yeah, actually, that would be a good start," Quinn sneered.

"Quinn! Please! Can we just finish our brunch? No more fighting today?" pleaded Kyra.

"I think I've had enough, actually," Quinn said as she stood from the table. "I'm going to go find Rachel."


"Hey Rach," said Quinn when she found Rachel at a corner table waiting for her bagel to toast.

"Hey," replied Rachel, her energy visibly deflated since they'd arrived. "Is everything okay? It looked kind of heated over there."

"Yeah. It's fine. Hayley's just…she's being petulant right now and you should ignore her. Okay?"

"She doesn't like me very much, does she," said Rachel knowingly, realizing this was an old and very familiar feeling.

"Don't worry about her. Come on, let's take that bagel to-go while we go for a walk. K?" said Quinn with a smile and a small bounce, reaching up and brushing down Rachel's arm until she linked her pinky with Rachel's.

Rachel chuckled at the gesture. All she needed now was a red skirt and white cheer shoes. "Okay, Santana."

Quinn gasped and put her other hand to her chest, feigning hurt. "You wound me."

That got a faint smile out of the sullen brunette, at least.

Quinn led Rachel out of the dining hall and into the warm sun, another unseasonably warm day for New Haven in October. The sun felt nice on Rachel's face, which was funny because obviously the sun had been out at some point in New York since she'd moved there a few months ago. She just didn't remember ever being aware of it like she was now. It complemented the serene atmosphere of the college campus. There were no car horns, no subway odors, plenty of space to move around. She could definitely see this being a nice escape to look forward to, if only a certain other woman wasn't bringing her down.

Then, as if New York could somehow sense her traitorous mind, Rachel's phone began playing Lady Gaga's "Born This Way".

"Oh! I forgot about Kurt," cringed Rachel. "I was supposed to call him back."

"Go ahead and take it if you want."

"No," Rachel shook her head. "I…I don't want to talk to him just yet. I'll just text him and tell him I'll call back later."

"And you've found that works with him?" Quinn chuckled incredulously.

"No, not particularly well," replied Rachel as she tapped out her text to Kurt.

Rachel: "I'm fine. On a walk with Quinn. Call you later."

"But he has no other choice if I just refuse to pick up," continued Rachel.

"That's the Rachel I know. Taking control!" Quinn smiled.

Kurt: "Are you sure that's safe? I hope you're not wearing something that stains."

Rachel scowled at Kurt's reply and tapped out another, punching the keys a little harder this time.

Rachel: "Oh, ha ha Kurt. You're hilarious. I'll have you know she just defended my honor a few minutes ago."

"I wonder what my ring tone is," pondered Quinn out loud, while Rachel seemed distracted.

Rachel: "At least, I think she did… I still need to get the details."

Kurt: "Tell Quinn I'm still very mad at her. You deserve better, Rachel!"

Rachel huffed and thrust her phone in the back pocket of her short shorts. (Shorts in October! Who would've thought!) But not a second later it began ringing again.

"Ohhh! Who's calling me n-" started Rachel until she recognized "I Feel Pretty" playing as she pulled her phone out again, seeing Quinn's smiling face staring back at her from her lock screen.

"Awww," smiled Quinn. "That's sweet. I was expecting to hear Meredith Brooks singing 'Bitch'."

Rachel cackled and buried her face in Quinn's shoulder while Quinn sang a few verses:

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover.

I'm a child, I'm a mother.

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint.

I do not feel ashamed."

Quinn stopped, her voice trailing off on the last line. Rachel looked up at her, keeping her head pressed to her arm, and then picked up where Quinn left off:

"I'm your hell.

I'm your dream.

I'm nothing in between.

You know you wouldn't want it any other way."

Quinn laughed and shook her head as she looked down at Rachel. "Okay, this song is getting a little too real now."

Rachel's smile weakened as she looked down while they continued to walk.

"Too real?" asked Rachel, a little confused.

She didn't get an immediate answer so she tried again, "Is this too real for you, Quinn?" she asked, motioning back and forth between them with her index finger.

"Yes…" replied Quinn, lost in thought, "NO!" she quickly added when she realized what she'd said.

"Well that narrows it down," Rachel responded evenly, echoing Quinn from this morning.

"I'm sorry. I guess I have a lot on my mind, too."

Quinn and Rachel looked at each other pensively, each trying to decide how to continue, until Quinn's phone started playing Darth Vader's Theme from Star Wars, completely breaking their train of thought.

"Oh, Christ," said Quinn as it was her turn to pull her phone out of her back pocket.

Rachel giggled at the choice of music, "Who's that?"

"Santana," replied Quinn as she sent the call to voicemail.

Rachel laughed loudly, holding her belly, "You are such a nerd, Quinn Fabray!"

Quinn smirked. "She's been pestering me all day too. I think we both have some phone calls to make later."

"Um, yeah…on that note," Rachel began shyly. "In full disclosure, I may have called Kurt last night on the way to the train station."

"Of course you did," Quinn monotoned.

"And I may have told him, in confusion mind you, that you slushied me," Rachel said while biting her lower lip.

"Fuck...Rachel!" whined Quinn.

"Well what else was I supposed to think, Quinn? One minute I was sharing with you the most important thing I could ever tell someone in my life and the next I've got ice and vodka stinging my eyes."

"Tequila, actually, and yes, Rachel, I know how that must have felt. Believe me, I will never stop apologizing to you for that and all the other crimes I committed against you in high school for as long as I live. But please, let's not make it a party joke just yet, okay?"

"I wasn't going t-"

"Uuuugh!" growled Quinn in exasperation as the Imperial March started playing again on her phone. "Okay, phones off!" ordered Quinn as she held down the power button on hers and shoved it back in her pocket. "The gossip girls can just wait. Let's go sit down under that tree, shall we?"

"Yes, Quinn," agreed Rachel demurely, giving her a timid smile. She didn't know why she was acting so shy around Quinn right now. It felt a little like she was back in high school again, though even back then there were plenty of times when she had stood her ground while the cheerleader was barking orders at her. Maybe thinking of slushies was catching her off guard. Or maybe it was just from feeling extremely vulnerable, sensing that everything was on the line right now, having been given a taste of what it was like to be affectionate with Quinn in a way she had only dreamed of, but uncertain as to whether this could really go anywhere. Would Quinn even be interested in a long distance relationship? Or was she about to let her down easily before it really got serious. Oh, god! What if this was 'the talk'? 'It's not you, Rachel, it's me. I can't handle the pressure of starting something with you right now.'

Rachel must have looked as petrified as she felt for Quinn to start soothing her as she pulled her down to sit by a knotted old red maple tree.

"Rach…hey. Talk to me. What are you thinking right now?"

"I…" Rachel stuttered and sighed. "I don't know where to begin."

"What's at the top?" suggested Quinn.

Rachel had to pause for a moment and collect her thoughts. What was at the top of her mind? Oh, that's right…"Quinn, what are we doing?"

"We're finally talking…?" replied Quinn tentatively.

"No. Don't be obtuse. I mean us. You and me! Quinn, we each professed our love for each other last night. You…you kissed me and told me you loved me."

"Yes, I remember," Quinn smiled, her lip twitching up slightly, appearing to be happily replaying the moment in her head.

"Does that mean you…" tried Rachel, but a rush of emotions stopped her short when a lump caught in her throat. She looked into those beautiful hazel eyes gazing back at her and her lip began to quiver.

"Quinn, I need to know if you seriously want to begin a different kind of relationship with me, because I do and-"

"Rach…" Quinn spoke softly as she inched closer, wrapping both hands around Rachel's.

Rachel pulled one hand out from Quinn's hold on her and swiped at the tears falling down her cheeks before continuing. "If we do this, I don't want to play mind games with you over the phone, trying to figure out if I'm only yours when I'm in town. I'm not good at sharing, Quinn."

Rachel let out a shaky laugh when Quinn smiled at her. "I'm serious! Just ask my dads," she added as she sniffed up her runny nose and looked down at her lap, putting her hands back on top of Quinn's again.

"And I want you to understand, this isn't some experiment for me, you know?" She looked into Quinn's eyes to drive her point home, "I really, really like you."

"Rach, sweetie, listen to me. I love what's happening between us. It's a bit surreal, really."

Quinn laughed quietly and continued. "I'll be honest with you about something, the thought of coming out to my family scares the shit out of me right now. But there's no possible way I could have waited another day, held on one more second, to tell you what I've known in my heart for years – that I'm so freaking in love with you, Rachel Berry. I've dreamt of being with you like this for so long."

The floodgates in Rachel's eyes burst as she pulled Quinn into a sobbing, happy embrace.

"I freaked out last night on Hayley and Kyra when I heard you'd left – after what you'd admitted to me. That took a lot of courage, little bear. And that's why I'm always finding myself wanting to squeeze the stuffing out of you!" Quinn laughed as she held on tight to Rachel. "You're so adorably cute in every way. I just want to hold you in my arms and take you everywhere I go. And then, at night, when we've gone everywhere and seen everything there is to see, I want to take you to bed with me and never let you go."

Rachel's sobs turned into teary-eyed laughter, and she pressed her wet cheek against Quinn's, squeezing her even tighter before she could let her go.

"I know the distance will be hard at times," continued Quinn. "But that's not stopped this moment from happening, so, I really don't think it's something we can't handle. I want to do this. I've been waiting so long to tell you. I really, really like you too."