Since it has been so long since I updated I decided to post another chapter. Enjoy!


Kagome

July 26, 2007

Men amaze me. They can do the most low-down, dirty shit to women, then expect us to simply overlook it. I often wonder if men back in the wild, wild West and other times treated their women the same way-like they were interchangeable pieces of chattel. Most profess to want love-to give it and to receive it-but few believe in doing what is necessary to nurture and sustain that love. Granted, no relationship is ever perfect, but Koga had taken betrayal to an entirely new level.

I had Sango go over to the penthouse the morning after I'd caught him and that woman together. He tried to insist that I come to get my own things-to face him-but she informed him that the situation was not going down like that. Sango and Kagewaki had been dating for a while but were not officially shacking. She started dividing her time between his place and her own, so she could keep a watchful eye over me. I assured her that I was fine.

The truly fucked-up thing was my job. Because I was a waitress in a public establishment, Koga showed up almost every day, begging and pleading for me to listen to him. Instead of my boss being understanding and taking my side, he threatened to fire me if I didn't get the situation under control. I thought about taking out a temporary restraining order but decided against it. Koga was a prominent attorney, and having that on file wouldn't have been a good look. I realized that Koga and I could never have any real closure without talking it through. I'd seen enough, but part of me still wanted to hear his explanation. In the end, none of it would ultimately matter, but I wanted to understand why he would do such a thing and who this woman was to him.

We had decided that we would meet at Georgetown and talk. It was a nice beautiful day. I decided to wear my hair down with a pair of my old blue jeans and a t-shirt with my favorite sneakers. Koga was looking sexy as usual in a button down short sleeve shirt with khaki shorts and sandals. He had his hair pulled back in a ponytail as usual. Man was this going to be harder than I thought as he walked over to me.

"Hey I'm glad you called I missed you."

"Yea well I have that effect once I'm gone." I replied

"Yea you do. Let's take a walk."

Walking next to Koga that anger and anxiety started to build up again. I had to distract my train of thought by looking over at the numerous couples walking lovingly hand in hand, some with their kids in tow, enjoying a family outing.

"Kagome when are you going be done with this and come home?"

That comment there broke the camel's back and I couldn't hold in what I been feeling the last few days.

"What do you mean done with this?"

"I mean this tantrum that you are throwing by having Sango come get your things instead of talking to me, not accepting my calls, and moving in with her. What do you want so we can end this and move past this?"

"Okay then what am I lacking as a woman huh Koga that would make you cheat? Is it because I am human?" I asked him as we walked along the waterfront deciding to ignore the comment he made to set me off. Koga made a futile attempt to touch my shoulder and I pulled away.

"Please, don't touch me."

"You aren't lacking anything, Kagome. I love you," the dirty liar had the nerve to say to me. "And you know it's not about you being human. I'm with you because I want to be with you. I've asked you to marry me, so don't even go there."

"Define love." I stopped and stared at him. "Define what it means when you say that you love me."

"You know what love means."

"I know what I believe love means, but I want to hear your definition of it. It's obvious that we don't have the same one."

"Love is a feeling that you get when you look at someone, when you hold them in your arms and gaze into their eyes. It's when your heart starts to race when you think about them throughout the day and you can't wait to see them again, or hear their voice, or feel their touch. Those are all the things I feel about you." He said as he looked at me with those piercing blue eyes.

"You're always on my mind."

"Was I on your mind when that woman was sucking and riding your dick?' I blurted out at him. "Was I on your mind when you were driving over there instead of driving home to me? Who is she? Is that your home?"

He sighed. "You remember when I told you about my ex Ayame?"

My mind rewound itself to our earlier conversations when we first started dating. "The Ayame who dropped you like a hot potato to marry another man? The one who said that you didn't measure up to her new man because he was already established in his career while you were still in law school? That Ayame?"

"One and the same. She moved back to the D.C. area a few months ago. That is not my house. It's hers. Her ex-husband owned it before they got married and moved to Atlanta, but it was awarded to her in the divorce anyway."

"So let me get this straight. She moves back and you start fucking her so much on the regular that she gave you a key?"

"It just happened Kagome damn!"

My right hand had slapped the living daylights out of him before I even realized it was in motion. I could see a light tint of char on his cheek. Guess I unintentional used my power. He held on to his cheek but didn't strike me back, my guess because were in public.

"It just happened' is the most ridiculous and overused excuse in the world. Men kill me with that. 'It just happened.' I saw you, and that didn't just happen. It was orchestrated. You told me that you couldn't go to my parents' with me; that you had to work late."

"Bitch I did work late, but-"

"No fuck that you decided to make a booty call on your way home. How many times did you fuck her and then come home and do the same thing to me? How many times, you disgusting bastard?!"

I could see the wheels moving inside Koga's brain as he tried to come up with something-anything-that would afford him a segue into possible forgiveness. That was not to happen.

"You know what?" I said. "This is pointless. I was foolish enough to believe that meeting you here would bring about some type of closure, but all I feel toward you is hatred."

"Don't say that, Kagome. You don't mean that."

"Don't tell me what I mean." I realized that we were being loud and started walking farther away from a half dozen people who were within earshot. Koga followed me as I added, "I should have known this could never work. Your parents despise the fact that their precious little boy lowered his standards to be with me. Your friends act like our relationship is some sort of joke. Hell, you don't even respect what we had together.

"I haven't seen Ayame anymore since that night. I told her that all bets were off." He crossed his hands and then spread them apart like an umpire. "She knows that I love you, and I do …love you. I made a stupid mistake, a really stupid mistake, but if you give me another chance, I promise that I'll make it up to you."

"How could you possibly make it up to me?" I leaned against the railing near the water. I can't get the image of the two of you out of me head. That was not something you did with her in the past. That was something you did with her during our present, while we were making plans for our future."

Koga fell silent and looked down at the ground.

"Men feel like it's cool to do whatever and expect us to brush it off and get back in the saddle, but not me…not this time…not in this place. From this moment on, I don't give a damn whom you fuck, because it won't be me."

I walked off, paused, and turned around. He was standing there, staring at me. "Oh, and tell your mother, Miss High-and-Mighty, that I should have listened to her. In her own sick, perverted way she was the only one who at least tried to warn me. Now she can hook you up with all her friends' daughters. . . who are worthy of you."

Koga didn't call me anymore after that day. I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. It had to end, that was without question, but he had seemingly given up and that made me feel dejected. Life had changed for me within the span of such a short time. Little did I know that the worst-and the best-was yet to come.


así que estoy cansada tiempo tan buenas noches y hasta el próximo paz ...REVEIW