lxxxiii. Breakfast

Song: "2:1" — (Elastica)

-:-

Sasuke Uchiha couldn't have been in a worse mood. He couldn't have a mirror handy, but he just knew that that damn Akanō had messed up his plumage. How else to explain the bedclothes clinging to him?

The Humanized corvid growled softly. This was typical of that overgrown thunder wolf: always finding some way to get under his skin. Like, say, shouting "YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!" at crucial moments when he was still learning how to fly. Oh, he would always cover by scolding him after the crash landing—"Be more careful next time, boy!"—but Sasuke just knew that that big bad wolf enjoyed trolling him, like a gruffer, drier Naruto. Fun times, and all in the name of "easing the boredom of confinement".

So it figured that Akanō would give his Keshinriki static cling. And considering that his plumage was naturally scruffy—if his lineage and family and team portraits were anything to go by—Sasuke could only imagine how zany his hair looked now. But he wouldn't let that make him skip training. Or breakfast, he thought as his belly suddenly rumbled.

In the kitchen, his mother was pouring coffee, only to nearly spill it when she took in her younger son's appearance. When Fugaku and Itachi turned to see the cause, they too showed signs of stifled laughter, Fugaku hiding behind his newspaper and Itachi quickly turning back to his own meal.

Sasuke sighed. Could things get any worse?

He got his answer moments later when his parents, no longer able to hide behind sinuses or frogs in the throat, gave into their mirth, Mikoto outright guffawing and Fugaku gruffly tittering. Then Itachi—that smarmy, melanistic peacock!—just had to add insult. "I simply must get in touch with your stylist."

Feathers now ruffled in every sense of the phrase, Sasuke did the unthinkable. Big brother wanted to "get in touch" with his stylist? Here, have one on the house! But his victory quickly became Pyrrhic when the elder Uchiha advanced on him, eyes narrowed, the menace not lessened by his own static disarray.

"Foolish little brother."

After a hairbreadth escape involving his Animal Form, Sasuke made it to his team's training ground, where Naruto and Sakura were already present, their sensei unpunctual once again. He landed deftly and switched to Human Form, glad to be away from the risibility his coiffure had caused his family…only to have his teammates burst into side-splitting peals that brought them to their knees, even as Sakura tried to shush Naruto's pointing and referencing a Marx Brother "gone emo".

You're enjoying this, aren't you, Wolfie?

"Bad hair day, Sasuke?"

"Oh, shut up," the corvid grumbled, stalking away from his uncle-of-sorts and past his cachinnating teammates with as much dignity as he could muster. Yes, this was gonna be a long day.

And the worst part? He still hadn't had breakfast.

-:-

After a series of conversations with my dA friend animon about how our favorite emo would experience playing host to a raijū like Akanō, the idea of him giving the boy static cling just clung. So, another 100 Theme. animon, this one's for you.

Sasuke, the Uchiha, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi © Masashi Kishimoto
Akanō, Sasuke's static cling © me