Don't Call Me Penelope T Ch. 8
Trigger Warning: Contains mentions of abuse. I tried to make it vague as possible for the sake of my readers, but it may still be triggering.
"I'm the one who's supposed to say that!" yelled Lucky Piquel. Bonkers D. Bobcat had just told Nosedive and me that we were under arrest for playing pattycake in public.
"Nuh-uh!" Bonkers insisted. "It's my job!"
Dive put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Let's run."
We began running in the opposite direction of Bonkers and Lucky knocking Goofy and Daffy Duck out of the way. But the fuzz followed in hot pursuit. "This is all your fault!" growled Lucky as he huffed and puffed.
Nosedive glanced back at me and realized I wasn't running as fast as he was (what can I say? I'm an artist, not an athlete), so he hung back and took my hand. I tripped over all sorts of small cartoon characters as he pulled me down the sidewalk. "Sorry!" I called back to them. "So sorry!"
Like idiots, we kept looking behind us. But it's a good thing we did, or we wouldn't have seen Lucky and Bonkers steal a grocery cart from an old lady and jump in it, Bonkers using a broom to steer it. They were careening towards us faster than lightning and everyone on the sidewalk was getting out of their way.
Fortunately, the traffic had temporarily thinned out and we were able to dash across the road. We managed to get to the other side right as Bonkers and Lucky's cart collided with three of the seven dwarves, who were exiting a nightclub. Bonkers and Lucky went soaring through the air, with Bonkers landing in a street vendor's box of tomatoes and Lucky landing crotch-first on the rail outside of the nightclub. We could hear him howl in pain.
"Your pickle's not so lucky now, is it?" Nosedive yelled. We took off down the street laughing. Then we hailed a cab and went back to Arwood Town.
We got the cab to drop us off at the bench we'd sat at earlier.
"That was a blast!" said Nosedive. "Now what?"
"I want to show you something." I said.
"Ok."
We exited the town and went back through the meadow. Instead of going back to the spot where we'd entered Harcourt, we walked in the direction of the forest. The air was cool and smelled so much cleaner than the air in the regular world.
I led Nosedive down a short wooded trail that came out to a clearing where there was a pond and a large poplar tree that grew behind it. The ground was very wet and spongy.
"Is this quick sand?" he asked.
"Nope, just swampy ground." We carefully walked around the pond and sat down beneath the poplar tree.
"This is so Lord of the Rings/Led Zeppelin," he said, and I knew he was my soul mate.
"This is where my friends and I used to have our secret meetings," I explained.
"Nice."
"I figured this would be a good place for us to hang without any supervillains seeing us together."
"That's genius."
We sat and listened to the sounds of frogs, crickets, and a stream that gurgled several yards away. And then, out of the night came the sound of a telephone.
"What the fuck is that?" he asked.
"It's a tree frog."
"Some kind of cartoon tree frog?"
"Nope, just a tree frog. There's sometimes frogs near my house that sound the same way."
I looked up at the beautiful night sky and smelled the damp earth. Nosedive reached for my hand.
"I donno about that," I said, my heart racing. Respectfully, he pulled his hand away.
"We've already played patty cake," he said. "Besides, we held hands when we were running from Lucky and Bonkers."
"True." I reached for his hand and held it, my whole body shaking. "Just… I don't want you to expect something more and then get disappointed." My neck and cheeks felt hot. I felt like the tree frog was swimming in my stomach.
"That's fine!" said Nosedive. "The Dive lives in the moment."
I had to laugh at him referring to himself in the third person. Typical Nosedive.
"I like this," I admitted. "Even though I just met you and I probably shouldn't be leading you on. I think it would be wrong of me to date you."
"Why? Because you're a human and I'm a duck?"
"No. Because I don't think I ever want to have sex with anyone. I figure I should get that out of the way so you can go ahead and make up your mind about me now."
To my surprise, he affectionately tightened his grip on my hand. "Is it ok if I ask why?"
I wasn't sure I wanted to explain. I was afraid it would cause a rift between us. "It's a long story," I said.
"You weren't abused, were you? Because if you were, I'll find the bastard and kick his ass."
Nosedive and I were already sitting close, but I scooted even loser. "I was never abused," I explained. "But… I witnessed someone being abused when I was really young. It was terrible. I was only in first grade and I was at my friend's house…I thought I was walking into the bathroom, but…it wasn't. It was the bedroom. What I saw was sickening. Her poor mom…I don't even want to talk about it. Just know that it's kind of influenced the way I feel about men and sex. That man was a monster."
"I'm sorry you had to see that, especially at such a young age… I can understand why it affected you that way."
"Really? You don't think I'm some weird-ass prude?"
"No…"
I wanted to hug him so much at that moment. So I did. I squeezed him with all my might and then let go. "If I ever did work up the nerve to have sex with anyone, it would be you," I promised. "But I still probably won't. I don't like the way kids at school talk about sex. I don't think people can have sex without gender roles, and gender roles would turn me off. Even if they were reversed."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is, if we do have sex, don't expect me to call you "daddy" or say things like, 'Put me in my place," or "show me who's boss!" And I don't think I'd want you to say those kinds of things to me. Some people love power dynamics, but I don't think I would. I hope you don't think I'm boring."
The kids at school, who were always interrogating me about my sexuality, would have asked "How do you know you don't like something if you've never tried it?" and then they would have called me a prude who would never get laid because I wasn't willing to change. But Nosedive didn't do that. Bless him, I could finally talk to someone about these things without getting maligned.
"Why would I want you to call me 'daddy'?" he asked. "I'm not your fuckin' dad. Humans are weird."
I laughed. "So you really don't mind how I am?"
"Not at all. I don't know anything about humans' sexual practices. If we ever do have sex, I'll let you teach me what you like and don't like. I won't judge you."
"So if we did have sex…would you have to have any macho, males-are-superior-feelings in order to be attracted to me? If I was as badass as you, would you still be into me or would your masculinity be threatened?"
"You are as badass as me," he said. "Badassitude isn't a zero-sum game. Two people can be equally as badass…but there aren't many people who are as badass as me, so that means you're pretty special."
"Awww." I was touched. Somehow he managed to be sweet and egotistical at the same time. I didn't understand it. Most humans with Nosedive sized egos were total jerks.
"So," he said. "I'm not going to pressure you into sex. I don't care if we wait forever. But I'm not gonna lie. I'm mega-horny right now."
I was at a loss for words.
"It's OK," he said, putting his hands up defensively. "We can wait as long as you want."
I smiled. I felt like a lake that had just burst through a dam. I'd been honest with Nosedive, so I could touch him all I wanted without feeling like I was leading him on. I wrapped my arms around him and began to feel some new and unusual feelings. I wasn't ready for sex, but I did want to start getting to know his body, which was so different than mine.
I eased my hand into his shirt and felt his feathers. They were soft just like I'd expected, but let me tell you, it was nothing like petting a duck at the state fair. He was almost like a human, just with feathers. He was sure nice to cuddle up to as the night grew chilly. And the sound of his heart beating was the sweetest sound in the world. I didn't want to let him go.
"Sorry I'm keeping you up all night this close to hockey season," I said.
"It's alright," he replied. "I wouldn't be asleep anyway."
Then I remembered I'd heard somewhere that he suffered from insomnia. I guess I really was a Nosedive Flashblade encyclopedia.
Soon the sun began peeking over the horizon. "I need to move around or I'm gonna fall asleep," I announced. "Some of my friends should be waking up around now. Wanna meet 'em?"
"Sure!" he replied happily. Things had definitely changed between us and I'd only met him the day before. As soon as we took off on our walk, we were holding hands. Of course, we had to work out the logistics, with him having one less finger than me. Ah, human/alien love!
The cool thing about Harcourt is that deciduous forests and jungles can exist within a few miles of each other. Nosedive's eyes were aglow when we found ourselves in a rainforest. But I knew exactly where we were. I walked to a bungalow-style treehouse and said "Hey dude!"
A striped lemur swung out by the tail. "Hey," I said. "I want you to meet Nosedive Flashblade, Star left wing for the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim."
"Cool," said Tail. "I like hockey."
"I know who you are!" Nosedive exclaimed. "You're that dude! From the cartoon! You run around with a Dalmatian named Ewah."
"That's me alright! Tail the Terrific! The Marvelous Marsupial! Would you like a tour of the jungle?"
I could tell Nosedive wanted to say "yes," but he and Tail looked to me for an answer. I remembered that I had to get home so I could pretend I'd been in bed all night and then eat some pancakes.
"Soon," I said. "But for now, we've gotta go. I need to crawl in bed and pretend I've been asleep." My grandma was supposed to think I'd been at home in bed all night.
"Man," groaned Nosedive. "We've gotta come back."
"We will," I promised.
"Well, bye guys," said Tail, who started to leap farther into the jungle.
"Wait," Nosedive said. "I have one quick question."
Tail stopped in his tracks. "Yeah?"
"Do you know Bernie?"
"Bernie the Bear?"
"Yeah! That Bernie!"
"I know him," said Tail.
"So then he's really a bear. Right?"
"What else would he be? Of course he's a bear."
"Oh yeah! Wait till I tell Grin."
At that, the two of us left Harcourt. Before he went to my clubhouse/barn and I went to my room, we shared a long hug. We'd just met, but we didn't want to part. But it would be ok. We'd be together again soon, to work on our slip n' slide.
