In my containment, I noticed something very strange was happening. At night, I would always have this feeling. A feeling of something amiss, or off balance. First, I thought that it was just my entire personal stature on all of the terrible components of my life. But as the days progressed, and my sleep became lighter and lighter, because I rested all the time, that strange sense became more acute.
My curiosity was tickled, and although I had little stamina to really do anything, I wanted to investigate this feeling. It was one particular night that I realized what was the cause of my uneasiness at night.
It was one afternoon, when Marie brought dinner, slightly earlier then usual. She complained to me about some problems she was having with the cook.
"The woman has no idea how to make a proper beef stew," She said, shaking her head.
I gave her a small smile, as I listened to her chat away about every minuscule dilemma she had faced, dealing with the house, in the last couple of days. As she left though she suddenly changed the point of the conversation completely.
"I know your feeling very blue dear, but maybe you should try to move about the room. You know, find some little hobby while your cooped up in here." She smiled warmly.
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. There really is nothing to do, besides I'm...I'm not in the mood."
"You haven't been in a good mood for quite some time now!" She starting to sound like my father, I thought. My heart squeezed in pain at the sudden realization. "Why don't you take a nice hot shower."
"I took a shower yesterday." I answered.
"No, no. How about you take a bath?" I lowered my eyes to my lap, considering the idea. "It would be nice and relaxing, and it would make you feel a lot better."
I stared at my lap, feeling very uncertain about everything around me. Was this reality? I couldn't even tell anymore. Yes, maybe a hot bath would wake me up; get me out of this unending limbo.
"Okay," I said quietly. "Sure."
"Good. Trust me, it'll do you wonders." With a big smile she closed the door, locking it behind her.
I threw the covers over myself completely, and laid in a fetal position. My knees were pulled up to my chin, and my arms cradled my legs. Oh, I didn't feel like moving. I just felt so uncomfortable in my own skin, so entirely lost. Every dream, and aspiration that I ever hoped for, is gone. What is the point of anything now? I couldn't go to college. I couldn't get a job. I couldn't meet new people. I couldn't be a tax payer, and function like every other person in society. Most of all, I couldn't be with my father.
I missed him so much. I had to get back to him, I had to get out of this place.
First things first. I would take a bath, wake up out of this pathetic phase of depression, and formulate a plan to gain back my freedom. With a full burst of determination, I tugged the covers off of my body, and stood.
I felt a small wave of dizziness hit me, for I moved too quickly. Yet I staggered into the bathroom, refusing to give into my want to climb back into bed.
I closed and locked the bathroom door.
Sitting on the edge of the tub, I turned on the faucets. I slowly undid the buttons on my shirt, as I watched the water slowly fill up. I grasped the hem, at my wrist, and tugged my arm out of the sleeve, my movements very calculated and slow. I was so tired...no, not tired physically, just emotionally.
I stripped down to my underwear, and through half opened eyes, I lazily watched the steam rise from the bathtub. As I waited for the tub to be filled, I gazed around the room. Like all the other rooms I saw, it was beautiful. The bathtub, toilet, sink and shower, was all made of a sparkling, white, porcelain. On the walls, was a beautiful red wallpaper, that was covered with small golden flowers. Beside the sink, was a small, thin mahogany table, which held lotions, soaps, and perfumes of all kinds. Another nice touch was a number of candles that laid on the sink, table, toilet and the edges of the bathtub. It really was a spectacular room.
The thing I liked best however, was the lock on the door. A lock that I had control over, not my kidnapper.
I turned the knobs till water no longer leaked through, and removing the rest of my clothing, climbed into the bathtub. The water was very hot, so I eased my body in very slowly. I watched my pale skin turn pink, as I finally laid in the tub. With a deep breath I submerged my head underneath the water.
Marie was right, this was relaxing. I felt my limbs loosen, and my muscles unclench themselves from some kind tension they burdened on themselves. I lifted my head and breath deeply. This locked room, gave me a feeling of safety I have not felt in weeks.
The minutes flowed on, and as I listened to my breathing echo around the walls, my eyelids slowly began to lower. It wouldn't be so bad if I just took a short nap, would it? The water was so terrific and the room was safe, I wanted to rest in this wonderful feeling. So I gave into my body's wishes and propped my head along the side of the tub, falling asleep.
I awoke, later on. The water was no longer hot, or even warm, instead it was freezing cold. My body was shacking and shivering, and my skin looked paler then usual. The untouched hair, on the top of my head was dry, while the ends of each of my locks floated in the water around my neck. I slowly raised my vibrating arm, and rubbed my numbed eyelids.
How long have I been in here? My bones were completely chilled, and my joints were locked in the position they were in when I first fell asleep. I breathed out, and in, slowly; the air shuttering unmercifully. With all of my muscles twitching, I grasped the side of the bathtub, and willed my body to move.
My feet pushed, and my arms pulled. A moment later, I was on the bathroom floor; naked, and shivering. Water dripped from my skin, and the ends of my damp hair, while the coldness stuck to my body. I looked over to the towel hanging on the wall. Come on Christine, I thought. Just get up and grab the towel, just get up and grab the towel, just get up and grab the towel...
I repeated that thought in my head, but I felt too weak, and cold to move in the slightest.
I tried to still my shacking body, by slowly rubbing my hands over my skin. It hurt to move, for my bones screamed out in pain. But slowly, I felt my energy reemerge, and my quivering muscles began to relax.
Finally I sat up and reached out for the towel. Rubbing it harshly onto my body, I began to feel much better. Here is when the already strange night, became unbelievable.
As I awakened my body, I heard the loud click of the lock on the bedroom door. I stopped moving and held my breath, looking with wide eyes to the bathroom door. I could hear the bedroom door open, by the small squeak it made. Then the sound of soft, slow footsteps reverberated through the room. One could say they were even cautious.
They seemed to be approaching the bed, with complete ease, even if the light was switched off. I waited, listening, my heart pounding in my ears. The footsteps stopped, right where it sounded the bed might be. The bathroom and bedroom echoed in silence.
Suddenly a soft voice broke the revere. "Oh, no."
My eyes widened even further. It was Erik's voice.
I heard him run quickly out of my room, his feet pounding on the ground, no longer caring if he awoken anyone. His footsteps ran up and down the length of the hallway, moving all around the room. I grasped the towel tightly around my body.
As he moved around the first floor, like a wild animal, I sat on the floor, half naked, and frightened out of my wits. I should have reacted, and grabbed the clothing I discarded on the floor earlier, but each time my mind would begin to conjure up some thought, I would hear something crash on the floor, or his body storming throughout the house.
I heard shouts far off, on the opposite side of the house. No doubt all of the servants were now awake, and wondering what was happening. None of them were as scared as I was at the moment, though.
Erik's footsteps, suddenly approached the room again. He halted at the doorway, possible because he was looking around the room, figuring where I might have hidden myself. I looked intensely at the door, trying to see through it somehow.
Suddenly the footsteps hastily approached the bathroom door.
I watched in horror, as the doorknob began to turn, in jerking movements from side to side. The door, then began to bang forward, and backwards, but it did not open, because of the lock.
I could have gotten up and opened the door, but he was hysterical, and the sound of him banging on the door with his hard fists, froze me in fear. More so then the ice cold water I was submerged in earlier.
"Christine!" He screamed. "Christine!"
Oh, God. I covered my mouth with my right hand, and held my towel up in one tight fist with my left. My eyes flooded in tears, I was so afraid. He continued to bang, each one louder then the one before it, screaming my name with so much emotion in his voice.
It wasn't anger though. His voice was filled with something else...was it fear? I couldn't tell. All of this was happening so fast, that my mind, and body could not react quick enough.
The sound of fists banging on the door halted, and a larger sound blared through, into the bathroom. He was throwing his body onto the door. He was going to burst through!
I stood up, quickly and staggered back. My right hand that covered my mouth, flared out behind me, as I reached for the back wall, all the while, never moving my tear filled eyes away from the bathroom door. I pressed my back against the wall. My knees were bent, as I also placed my wide right hand against the wall. My body shivered in fear, as I listened to Erik, scream my name, and watched the door jerk forward every time his body was thrown on it.
"Christine!" Erik bellowed. "No!"
The lock burst out, and the door swung out violently. Erik's body fell into the room, his arms wildly held out in front of him to balance himself. He did not actually hit the ground, as his golden eyes locked on with mine.
He breathed so heavily that his entire body moved with his gasps. His wide eyes, looked upon me with shock clearly evident within them. He slowly stood upright, while his body continued to contract and release from the amount of air he took in.
There we stood, once again in silence. Our appearances, no doubt strange to an unbeknownst eye. Him, breathing deeply, his black mask, and his penetrating eyes, that very soon began to appear emotionless, and myself.
I, was barely standing; using the bathroom wall to support my body up, with just my left fist holding a towel against my still dripping, cold, damp body.
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't will my body to move, or force my voice to make any sound. I was so shocked, and as always, so terrified of this man, whom I had to call, husband.
Before Erik completely regained his composure in a small voice, that was barely above a whisper, he said, "Thank god."
