Chapter 8: Raesha's fire Nation contract.

Mdalia: Thank ya for reviewing! Yeah, it was an ok chappy, anyway, here, have one a marshmallow (gives Mdalia a marshmallow) Naiowa: HEY THAT WAS MINE! (Gives Naiowa a Zuko voodoo doll) Naiowa: ooooooooooh! Never mind, marshmallows kill my indigestion system anyway)

Playdoh-chan: I've read and review your story, I don't see how there alike, the only thing I read that they have in common is that there both a comedy, Zuko gets new recruits and as a bonus, questions his sanity, Naiowa: As if he had any to begin with….

Naiowa: ME ON HAPPY PILLS! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Runs into a wall)
Zuko (covered in chocolate syrup): WHO'S THE MORON WHO GAVE NAIOWA "HAPPY PILLS"!
Raesha: Actually their just sugar cookies with more sugar….(mutters) like two extra bags more sugar
Naiowa: DRAGON-RACER101 OWES JACK! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE YOU ALL!
Author: Uhh….On with the story? (Watches as Naiowa is trying to go through a solid wall)

Last time, Zuko got raw pancake mix all on him, Naiowa is doing pranking 101, and oh you read the last chapter didn't you!


It was another fascinating day on Zuko's ship; there was action and excitement everywhere! Oh who I was kidding! It was so boring that if boring was some kind of futuristic deadly virus, everyone would of died-at lease 3 times! These guys make a cabbage expo seem interesting, and that's putting it extremely mildly. "Man, I've seen snails more lively than you weirdoes" Naiowa says, Iroh couldn't help but nod, a few crewmembers were in a coma of sheer boredom, Raesha was so bored that she stared at a blank wall for three hours straight, Keiana was probably doing the smartest thing and sleeping this boredom off, Sakura decided to learn dolphin, she wasn't doing so well in that. Zuko was rambling about the avatar, needless to say, no one cared. "IS ANYBODY LISTENING!" Zuko yelled, "no!" "Huh?" "Must be the wind" "click, clicked, clicks," "SHUT UP I'M SLEEPING!" "hush, I'm learning the secrets of the wall" Was the idiots replied. Zuko rolled his eyes, why did all those fanfics and websites think that stuck at sea with a crew of imbeciles and his uncle was exciting? Or fun! Or remotely interesting! He sighed and sat at an empty table, he brushed aside a few papers, something caught his interest, well, it seemed interesting. He picked up a few pieces of paper called Fire Nation Contract, curiosity killed the cat (Naiowa: Since when!) And he began to read it.

Fire Nation Contract ( A/n:spelling and grammar errors are intended ( ) Raesha's comment (( ))- Doing/action)

Welcomes, if your singing this contack, then ur smarted, cuz all the other nations just plain sux! Joing is eaze all u hava to do is fill out infomaton on u. And don't forgot to read the rulz. Halth codes follow rulz…

Ful Name: Raesha P. Vale (aint no way ur getting my middle name!)
Age: 16
Nation: Air…. I mean FIRE! YES! I'M FIRE NATION!
Abilities: Airbending…SHOOT! Well, I kinda, sorta…. Hells with it…IGNORE IT!
Comments: Fire Nation suxs! I think my pet rat is stuck in the rafts….
Reasons for joined: My friends are, and I'm bored
Pets: Demon cat called Naiowa
Additionals Info: Umm…. Oh my pet hamster, Mr. Snuggles, has a habit of sneaking into the kitchen, and into chicken soup
Rulz and Regulatons:
1: No ceral on Tuesdays, Wednesdayes, and Fridays (THAT SUXS! I DEMAND LUCKY CHARMS!)
2: No calling commanding officers monkeys (I think I already broke that rule!)
3: No calling the fire lord a "Monky in disguise" (NOW you tell me!)
4: No calling Ozai "Oreo" or "Okapi" etc. (Oh, my bad…)
5: NO OREOS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! (OREO PARTY AFTER THIS CRAPPY INTERVIEW!)
6: No brecking windows (oh, looks at smashed windows um…I didn't do it?)
7: No rearranging the furnature (But I'm telling you, the table looks better over there!)
8: No Fung Shei
9: No loitering around the place (what about breaks? I need to file my nails at one point!)
10: No wild partyes in the royale bedrooms (what if we call it a celebration?)
11: No wild partyes AT ALL! (Aww…. You guys suck!)
12: No pranks ( what!(( looks at prank plans)) You guys are dull!)
13: If blackmailing someone, only do it three times (Three? About 12? Or 18?)
14: Do not exceed blackmailings limet (feh, don't expect that rule to stay for long)
15: It is not ok to call Commender…Admirl Zhao a shaved monky (SAY WHAT? YOU GUYS SUCK!)
16: Even if its true! (Wow, you guys actually did something funny, give yourself a pat on the back!)
17: Ignored #16 (did I mention that you guys suck?)
18: No sleeping on the j-ob (But what if it's a really boring shift?)
19: No designing your own unifore (Great idea! ((writes, design own uniform)))
20: No humming the Darth Vader theme wheneva Ozai walks past you (((starts humming it ))what? Come on, I know your all thinking the same thing!)
21: No gambeling with other peoples paycheks (MAN! You will not believe how many zeros are in this guys paycheck!)
22: No fighting
23: Unless yur challengd, then you hava to kick the others guys ass (you people don't make sense)
24: No snickering commending officer people (But its so fun messing with there tiny minds!)
25: No pointing at commeding officer people (((starts pointing at Zhao)) Huh? What you say?)
26: No bursting in uncontrollable fits of laughter at innapropiate moments (I wouldn't count on it pal)
27: When Ozai is presenting himself no yelling "BOO! YOU SUX!" (Then can I yell BOO! YOU SUCK EGGS? Or…HEY OREO? Come on, I have more!)
28: No yelling "SHOPPING SPREE!" When you get your paychek (what else am I suppose to yell?)
29: No food fights (awww….((puts down eggs)))
30: No "room raiding" (How else am I suppose to get blackmail material? Bribe the servants? Wait a second ((writes down: Bribe Zhao's servants))
31: Fridays is donut day (really? ((evil smirk)) )
32: No calling anyone "pansys" (HEY ZHAO! YOU'RE A PANSY…Huh? What were you saying?)
33: No mocking officers that are at a highr rank (ZHAO, ARE YOU REALLY A SHAVED MONKEY?)
34: Must insult other nations when talking to someone (Ok…FIRE NATION SUCKS!)
35: No playing with hair exp. No teaching eachother Katara's bun combo (Aww…Its so pretty!)
36: No back sazz (I "hardly" know the meaning of back sass!)
37: No changing the schedullle around (HEY! YOU WITH THE BREAD YOU NOW WORK ON THE SECOND FLOOR ON TEUSDAYS! ((turns around)) What?)
38: No swaping shifts with anyone (Hey! Mac! I'll trade ya kitchen duty for guard duty!)
39: If you have pets they must be house-trained (Naiowa, your house-trained right? Naiowa((looks at Raesha with insulted look)) Are you!)
40: And know the diiference between the Fire Lord and a bathroom (Remember Naiowa, although his name sounds like it…Ozai isn't an Oreo!)
41: No swapping rooms with anyone (what if it was more of a trade?)
42: Donut firdays have been canceled thanx to accident with laxatives (Yeah…Accident…hehehehe)
43: No lighting people on fire (awww….((puts away flamethrower )))
44: No lightin' Prince Zuko on fire
45: Even if he is being a jackas$(Hey, that's MY word!)
46: No bowling with valuable objets (((smash)) STRIKE!)
47: No hamsters due to accident with hamster and Ozai's soup (poor, poor Mr. Snuggles)
48: No chicken soup! (Hey everyone I have chicken soup from the store!)
49: No fixations with anything (Iroh broke that one, ((sigh )) bye-bye Oreos)
50: No brecking into song and dance rotines (fine…BE THAT WAY!)
51: No caffine at 3 a.m (NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ((gasps for air)) -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
52: No cross dressing (do I even want to know?)
53: No pretending to be ghostz or spooks (Huh? Yeah, what you think goes more ghostly? The ivory white? Or the piano key white?)
54: No letting wild monkeys loose in the palace (Zhao, you know the rules…OUT!)
55: No suing the Fire Lord just because you cant eat Oreos or Ceral (Fine…((rips up law suit )) you guys don't allow any fun)
56: No switching calendars just to make peoples confuzedd (are you making up words?)
57: No messing with peoples minds (but…But…But, awww!)
58: No yelling "AVATAR!" And pointing in a random direction just cuz you want a break (HEY…AVATAR! ((Points to a direction, everyone turns and looks ))Tee hee, they are so stupid)
59: No singing "we will rock u" at 2am
60: No singing loudly
61: No singing AT ALL (awww…But I like to sing)
62: No switching name tags with anyone
63: No running around screaming "THE HAMSTER FROM THE SOUP ACCIDENT HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND IS PLOTTING REVENGE!" (Mr. Snuggles did tend to hold a grudge)
64: Or no running around yelling "THE HAMSTER FROM THE SOUP ACCIDENT HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND IS PLANNING TO KILL US WITH CHICKEN SOUP! (((sniffs )) My little baby is coming back from the dead and is already planning to kill us all, they grow up so fast!)
65: No writing on anyone
66: No scirbling on peoples faces (awww…)
67: No doodling on portraits (teehee ((puts away graffiti portrait of Zhao)) huh?)
68: No telling Ozai he needs an interiar designer (BUT HE DOES!)
69: While guarding a room, you may not start moonwalking or anyother dance moves (but what else am I suppose to do?)
70: No skipping merely
71: No picking flowers (but I like picking flowers)
72: No singing "lalalalala…" (But even the worst singers can sing that and not screw it up!)
73: No combinations of the thre abov (you guys are lame)
74: No repainting rooms (Hey Zuko, your room is now a rose pink!)
75: No mimicking officers behined there backs (but its fun!)
76: No comedy skits that invole Zhao being called a monkey (what about implying his a monkey?)
77: No matter how funny it maybe (Now your talking!)
78: Ignore 77
79: No soilitors (umm…Does the milkman count?)
80: No letting solitors in (umm…Isnt that what the rule above mean?)
81: No singing peace treaties on behalf of the fire nation (sounds like fun!)
82: No reciting poety (not even Shakespeare?)
83: No reciting romance novels
84: No setting up blind dates for Zuko and Zhao (Hey Zhao, your meeting my "friend" after lunch!)
85: Although it would be funny (yah think!)
86: Ingorne 85 (why do you tell us to ignore the good ones?)
87: Marvel at many rulz and regulatons there are
88: No starting ketup and mustad fights (wouldn't the ketchup match the uniform?)
89: No debating wherever ketup is better than mustad
90: Be cuase mustard is better, Zhao said so (THE HELL IT IS! YOU DARE DEFY KETCHUP?)
91: If playing Truth or Dare no daring dates with royale family
92: No Truth or Dare at all! (awww!)
93: Bingo nite is thurday
94: Bingo nite is cancelled due to missing balls (((looks at Naiowa's stash)) Naiowa :Touch my pretties and you die!)
95: No jumprope
96: No hopstock
97: No girly games (girly? Boy have you seen your pink fuzzy slippers?)
98: No screaming likes little girls (Then what am I suppose to scream like? A hamster?)
99: No sneaking up behin someone and yelling "AVATAR!" At the top of your lungs (how about Itsabungi?)
100: No itsabungi (BUT ITS MY WORD!)
101: No trying to find evidence that Zhao is in fact a monky (but its true!)
102: Even if you did fine overwhelming evidence (BUT I DID!)
103: Ignore 102 (BUT I'M TELLING YOU I DID!)
104: No arranging bring-your-children-to-work-days (Do I look pregnant?)
105: No matter how cute they are (What are you implying?)
106: No gambeliing to get other peoples paychek (but its fun! I have to get a raise some how!)
107: No barging in on anyone
108: Espcially if there in a meeting
109: Also if there the royale family
110: No arranging your own day off (but I wanna take Tuesday off!)
111: No faking sick
112: No skipping work because you don't like the guy your stuck on dute with (But his pickup lines are CHEESY!)
113: No punching a guy out just be cause his pick up lines are cheesy (slip ya a $50 if ya help me get rid of the body!)
114: No bringing your mother to work (I didn't say I was)
115: No matter how good her shortbread is (seriously, what are you freaks implying?)
116: No pretending to kill each other (Aww, we're gunna collect the insurance!)
117: No rearranging locka comboinatons (Hey Smith, u have Johns locker now!)
118: No breaking into other peoples lockas (now you tell me ((looks at broken lockers))
119: No bribing people to do your dirty work (can I bribe my cat?)
120: No bribing pets (sorry Naiowa, I tried)
121: No playing with fire
122: No playing with matches
123: No playing with anything that can catch on fire (does that include candles?)
124: No having an opinon (Zuko broke that one)
125: No wimping out in Angi Kais (Zuko also broke that one)
126: No planning surprise partys for the Fire Lord
127: No surprise partyes for anyone! (Awww…Sorry guys ((points clowns and other entertainers out the door)) )
128: No asking urself why didn't you join another nation (I wonder why I didn't join Earth? I bet they get to eat cereal on Tuesdays!)
129: No bending past mid-nite (But what about our secret bending fights at 1 am?)
130: No pushing, triping, throwing, punching, bending anyone ova board (((looks at Zhao swimming overboard)): Well, a little swim never hurt anyone…!)
131: No laughing (Then what else am I suppose to do when someone tells a joke?)
132: No smiling (((smiles just to annoy the guy)))
133: No combinations of the abov unless somethin' horrible happens (Like your spelling and grammar?)
134: No messing with the catapults or anyother dangerous wepons (PULL! ((releases huge flaming rock that takes out Zhao's personal ship)) Ok, that was B9, Naiowa, your turn!)
135: No singing up Ozai for quilting class
136: No matter how bad his quilting is
137: Ozai's aren't that bad (Naiowa could do better than him! And she has no opposable thumbs! Naiowa: Always with the opposable thumbs!)
138: No singing Ozai up for phychairarist appointments (Hey! Ozai, your meeting Dr. Coocoo at 2:30 and ur 1:15 canceled!)
139: No matter how badly he needs it! (Yeah, really that whole "Destroy this village, kill all the people" junk mustn't be good for 'im)
140: Ozai does not need therapy (ur joking right!)
141: And defiantly no singing Ozai up for little legue (Ozai! Your playing w/ the Tiny Tigers at 4!)
142: No yelling "ZHAO THE CIRCUS LEFT A MESSAGE! THEY WANT THEIR MONKEY BACK!" (Ohhhhh! I Likey a lot! ((Scribbles down: Zhao, circus, monkey back))
143-havin funs
144: hav fun (but doesn't that go against the rule 142? Ahhell I'm gunna break it anyway!)

Heath Codes and other nessciary junk:
1: No rodents in the soup (Poor Mr.Snuggles, he was so brave ((sniff)))
2: No rats in the ratfers (Whiskers did like exploring new places…Stupid rat…)
3: No putting laxatives on the donuts (((hides box of laxatives behind back)) What laxatives? I don't see any laxatives….AVATAR! ((Points in a random direction and runs off)) )
4: No locking people in closets for days on end (Does that include monkey commanders?)
5: No driving Oreo…OZAI! Insane by shouting "AVATAR!" Too much
6: No driving Zhao insane by shouting "PRINCE ZUKO!" Too much (you mean he isn't insane?)
7: No mind games (But its fun!)
8: If you have a contagious disease notify someone (so they get it to?)
9: If you get a contagious diesaese donnot notify someone (So what are we suppose to do?)
10: No getting sick
11: No playing with rat kill in the kitchen
12: No flaming bags of poo left anywhere (I think we're past that stage of maturity…HEY IS THAT A SPINNING TOP!)
13: No under any circumstances ask or even think about why Ozai hired and even promoted Zhao! (Are you trying to figure that out to!)
14: Ozai was not drunk when he hired Zhao (Well there goes theory #685ac!)
15: Nor was he high (You positive?)
Any last coments: How did you manage to conquer most of the world! SERIOUSLY! TELL ME!
Singed: Raesha Vale

Zuko stared at the contract, not only was it full of simple grammar and spelling errors, but it didn't make sense…'Was the fire nation really run by monkeys?' Zuko thought, then another thought hit him "HEY RAESHA! WHATS YOUR MIDDLE NAME!" Zuko yelled, Raesha snapped out of her trance by staring at the wall. "Uhh, nothing!" Raesha said quickly.


That's it for this chapter! I have a slight idea for the next one, I have caught it….AUTHORS BLOCK!

Naiowa: I suppose I have to say it….Dragon-Racer101 will like some more reviews, so review so she can get over authors block and continue this story asap, now I can play with my Zuko voodoo doll! (Chews on the doll)

Zuko: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY LEG! HELP! SHES BITING MY LEG
Zhao: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Raesha, Keiana, Sakura smirked at each other) Raesha: Here Naiowa! (Throws Naiowa a Zhao voodoo doll)

Naiowa: DOUBLE SCORE! (Starts thrashing around the dolls)

Zhao and Zuko: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP! SOS! MUMMY!