The shape of my despair...

It screams to me in silence. It's so loud, it's deafening.

Blinding.

Embody.

He lays on the floor, his nudity is his purity. He's like the sun. And I'm an angel.

And if I fly too close, I'll lose my wings and fall to the ground.

"Ieyasu.."

The silent word leave my lips.

Does he even hear me?

I repeat his name again. The desperate tone makes me sick.

No reply.

"Say something."

"Anything."

I want to lie beside him. I want to form the shape of my despair.

But I'll burn if I go near.

Engulfed in flame.

Then let me burn.

I've already died a thousand times. Why not make it a thousand and one?

"Ieyasu.."

How I need you.

How pathetic, I spat.

My body crawls to him. I lie close to the sun. It's burning.

I need to get closer.

My hand trails your body.

So warm.

I touch your skin, it's scalding.

My lips are ice, melting as they touch your flesh.

So arousing..

Outrageous.

And yet I need you so bad.

"Open your eyes."

"See me, as I see you."

Vulnerable. Beautiful.

"Hold me."

The sound of your voice, gasping for air on your bloody lips...

"Take me."

I look at your eyes, open wide.

"Love me."

Our lips touch.

Unreal.

"Mitsunari.."

Like a gasping moan in a summer wind, my name leaves your lips.

It's the most beautiful sound.

"Ieyasu..."

His hand touches me. Strokes me slowly.

Gentle.

He is bloody. He is dying.

He is beautiful.

The shape of my despair.

The art of my creation.

"Ieyasu..."

He smiles, I wonder if it's an illusion.

He leans back, I sit on his lap.

We kiss again.

I open my wings, I embrace him into my personal hell.

I moan as he thrusts.

Like a Phoenix, I fall to the earth, and resurrect each time we dance.

"Mitsunari.."

Because in my dreams, you are here.

The shape of my despair.

Because in my reality, you're already dead.