Lots of you seemed to like Chapter 4, so I decided to listen to Jimelda´s suggestion (thanks for that, btw *hug*) and see if I could write a sequel. This is not from a baby´s POV, but from Kate´s, in a form of a letter she writes to Jack; but it´s about the same baby that made Kate smile in chapter 4. ;)

p.s. Usually, when I imagine Kate with a jaby after the events of the finale (and I´m one of those that like to believe that she was pregnant when she left the island), I imagine that jaby as a boy. Don´t ask me why, because I can´t explain (the same way I can´t explain why I believe that, if Jate had a jaby when Jack was alive, it would be a girl –just the image of Jack with a daughter that would definitely be a daddy´s girl and have him wrapped around her finger is enough to make me melt ). BUT, for this fic, somehow...I felt that the baby should be a girl. Don´t know why, but it just fit better.

p.s.2 - Also, the underlined parts are words that should be emphasized. I know it´s usually done with italics, but since the whole first part is practically a letter and therefore in italics itself, I had to find a way to achieve the emphasis and the underlining them seemed less brutal than bolding; so I hope no one minds. Okay, shutting up now, I promise :o

A gift - II

Hey!

Merry Christmas! It´s amazing how fast time flies, isn´t it? This time last year, I felt our baby´s first kick and now...now she´s already seven months old.

She´s sleeping in my lap as I write this, btw. She´s been cranky lately – her teeth have started to sprout; so getting more than two hours of sleep in a row is pretty much mission impossible the last couple of days. But that´s okay, I don´t mind. As long as she´s happy and not in pain, I´m fine with it. Plus, I kinda love these moments, late at night (or should I say in the morning), Claire and Aaron sleeping, and the two of us cuddled together: she, lying on my chest as I gently caress her back, soothing her to sleep. In times like those I realize how lucky I was, despite the pain I had to (and still have to) go through. Without her, dealing with your...with you being gone...would be much, much harder. I remember...back in those first weeks after the return...it was so hard – there were times when I didn´t think I would make it. Didn´t even know if I wanted to. Then I found out I was pregnant and suddenly - everything changed. It was still hard, don´t get me wrong; but I knew I had a life growing inside of me – life that we created – and I just knew I had to deal with it. Live with it and learn to appreciate that, even though you´re gone, a part of you lives on. It felt like... like a part of you came back to stay with me.

And she really is that, you know? I know how people say that all babies look alike; but she really is your mini-me. She has your nose, your mouth; and sometimes when she´s concentrating really hard (pretty much every time she poops ;p ), her brows knit together just like yours. But, most of all, she has your eyes. That´s all I prayed for, while I was pregnant. That she´s healthy and that she has your eyes (though back then I didn´t know it would be a ´she´. ). It´s really amazing, you know? To see you reflecting in her. Although kind of a bittersweet too. It´s funny how sometimes your greatest comfort can be your greatest source of pain too. But that´s life, I guess.

Anyway… she´s teething, I already told you that. She´s also starting to crawl a bit; although she still hasn´t mastered it enough to get herself more than couple of feet away. She loves playing peek-a-boo too. Mostly with Aaron, who she adores. Actually, ´worships´ would be a better description. It´s really adorable, the way her face lights up whenever she spots him: her hands fly into the air immediately and she starts letting out these adorable little sounds that sound like giggling. Aaron doesn´t exactly share her excitement... most of the times anyway. At almost five and a half, he´s slowly getting out of that cute, cuddly phase and starting to want to be more independent. He´s started kindergarten and he likes it so far. He´s still in the girls-are-yucky phase, although he has a light crush on his teacher, always wanting to sit next to her and all that. He´s got himself a couple of new friends there and he´s generally a happy, bright kid. He pretends the little one doesn´t impress him much, but lots of times he´s the first one there when she cries, comforting her until Claire or I get there. He still mentions you too. He likes us telling him about you (he got a good laugh out of that story when I kicked your ass at golf :p) and he also talks about how you used to take him to playground and read him stories. Speaking of stories…there´s one change in him though: he doesn´t let us read him ´Alice in Wonderland´. He says it was something the two of you shared and that the next time he opens that book, it´ll be him reading it to you. You see, one day he saw me writing these letters and wanted to know who I was writing them to. So I told him. I told him that, even though you´re not physically with us anymore, you´ll always be with us in our hearts and that whenever he feels sad and misses you, he can talk to you. You won´t be able to reply, but you´ll hear him. I know it sounds silly, but, in a way, I believe it. I believe that, wherever you are right now, you´re able to hear us, or at least feel us. Our love. Some people would call me crazy, but I don´t care. I believe it and it makes me feel better. And I noticed it made him feel better too.

Every night, before going to bed, he kisses the photo of the two of you that´s on his nightstand and wishes you goodnight. And every time I see it, a lump forms in my throat. Because it isn´t fair. It isn´t fair that you can´t be with us, especially in this period. That you can´t make gingerbread with us, decorate the tree with us, see our daughter smile at that silly reindeer puppet you got Aaron for our first Christmas together. Do you remember it? We were shopping for Christmas decorations and Aaron was throwing a fit, crying so hard and refusing to stop until you grabbed the first thing you saw (a silly looking reindeer hand puppet) and started fooling around with it. He loved it so much you ended up buying him the whole set: the reindeer, Santa, snowman and penguin with a red scarf. The last three got lost somewhere over the years, but we still have the reindeer. Aaron likes to make her laugh with it. He puts it on his hand and does a little show for her: making faces, changing voices, tickling her with it. She has a blast when he´s up for it: waving her little arms, giggling, even squeeing from delight. She´s still too young to really experience Christmas, but she loves looking at all the shiny stuff and twinkling lights, so that´s fun.

We also took her to have her first pic with Santa taken the other day, but she was totally unimpressed. Aaron was trembling with excitement and Claire and I were buzzing around, trying to take the best pictures; and she was just staring at us as if we were a bunch of lunatics. Oh, well, maybe next year we´ll have more luck. I just hope it´s only a matter of her still not realizing anything and not a sign that she´ll be one of those kids who don´t believe in Santa. Not that it would be a bad thing, it´s just that I love being able to use ´the Santa card´ once in a year. It´s unbelievable how it works its magic every single time! Aaron was in bed by 9 tonight, all sweet and cuddly and checking if we would really make sure to tell Santa how good he was all day. We assured him we would and he kissed us goodbye. As I was leaving, something else happened. He called me back and whispered me not to be sad because he told Santa to wish you Merry Christmas from all of us and to make sure you had some milk and cookies to enjoy. It took me everything I had not to fall apart, but I somehow managed it. Sometimes I envy children. Everything is so simple in their world.

Anyway, I´ve got to go now. She´s starting to squirm and I have to get her to her crib before she wakes up, or neither of us will be getting any sleep tonight. I´ll write you again in a couple of days, when everything settles down. Bye.

As always, till we meet again….

Love,

Kate

She folded the paper, sealed the envelope and put it in the box, to join the others. Careful not to wake the baby, she got up, nibbled on the cookies Aaron had left for Santa (Claire knew about her sweet tooth for chocolate, so they decided to split it: Claire got to drink the milk, Kate got the cookies); then turned off the light. Taking one last look at the Christmas tree flickering in all its glory, she headed upstairs, trying to be as silent as possible (Aaron would be up anyway in a couple of hours, calling them to wake up because Santa came, and she didn´t want to give him the reason to wake the whole house hours earlier than it was necessary).

She reached the nursery and opened the door slowly, walking on her tiptoes till she got to the crib. Supporting her head gently, she laid the baby down on the mattress; then covered her with a blanket, tucking her in safely. She leaned down and pressed a tiny kiss on her head, closing her eyes and drinking in that sweet scent only babies have. She smiled. A single tear escaped her eye, sliding down her face as she looked at the sleeping baby:

the last, and best, gift she had from him.


Also, forgot to thank you for the reviews for the previous chapter *hugs* Hope you guys will love this one too. ;)