Money
He lost an opportunity to make a massive amount of money that day. But what was he supposed to do? He was going to kill a man for destroying his family, and he hadn't realized how close he was to becoming that man, until he saw the little boy.
He carried the name around to remind himself that his purpose was to kill that man. He carried it around to remind himself that he wasn't that man. But he'd realized he could be that man, and he'd run in sheer terror. It was an opportunity he did not regret losing.
