Thank you to everyone from the bottom of my heart for reading and reviewing! I'm just so grateful for all you're kind words! This chapter is longer and gives the kids more of voice. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Arrow or it's characters
Chapter 8: Daddy's Scars: Riley
Felicity Smoak saved my life in many little ways. Felicity Queen also saved my life and the lives of many others. I can remember our first almost fight as a couple. I was nervous about having to go through our history once again. I had made many mistakes that I didn't want to drudge up. She however was convinced that we had to talk about our past so that it didn't cloud our future. Felicity however was very determined to hit on two rather large open wounds Nyssa and Malcolm. We had been on the road for about a month at this point and yes the topics had come up but I could usually evade those conversations by slanting my mouth against hers. I would then entangle every aspect of our mouths together until you couldn't tell where I began and she ended. This usually led to our hands moving and roaming across the other's body discovering new places of both pleasure and pain. Those actions led to my body melding completely with hers until like our souls our bodies met in a perfect harmony that left us both sated and complete in every way humanly possible.
However a month into our new found closeness Felicity had caught on to my rather enjoyable trick and stopped my advances before they could begin. "Oh no you don't; you come near me with that lustful desire filled look in your eyes and we won't be talking again for another 8 hours." I smirked "another 8 hours really?" She looked at me like I was crazy for not understanding the effect that I had her "Like you don't know. My god Oliver the way you make me feel with just lips alone should be considered a crime. If you come near me, if you stare at me like you are right now, if you interlock our hands forming that perfect union, if you seal your lips to mine and start that desire filled dance with your tongue I'll be a goner. The effect you have on me is like a drug, you complete me in a way that I've never experienced before in my entire life. I would love nothing more than to lose myself in making love to you over and over again however we have to have this discussion and you delaying it has to stop." She was standing on the other side of the small hotel room that we had picked to stay in for the night. The room had a king sized bed a small but usable bathroom and a small sitting area off the bedroom area. She was on the side closest to the bathroom with me on the other. The bed had become our barrier and I so wanted to make the bed her white flag. However she had drawn the line in the sand and that meant I finally had to comply. Sighing and choosing to sit on the small couch on my side of her personal Berlin Wall I replied "Well number one I'm glad that I complete you in a way no other man has before. We will be discussing that particular statement in greater detail later on tonight. I also need you to understand that it's killing me that you won't let me near you. Touching you is my drug, feeling every inch of your skin against mine as we slowly explore and discover each other is what soothes my soul. Seeing your face every morning when I wake, kissing you whenever I want is what heals my rather tortured soul. So before we start this argument you need to understand that as much as I affect you, you have the same if not an even stronger affect on me."
My confession must have shocked her more than I thought it would. She slumped onto the bed with her mouth open and her eyes slightly widened. Her breathing had become more rapid and shallow with each word that came out of my mouth. Her eyes hadn't once left mine during my entire little speech and they still hadn't a full two minutes later. I was attempting to keep my hands clenched to the sides of the couch as she slowly stood up, her skin was flushed turning it from the usually pale hue to a darker pinker shade. Her hands traveled up to her hair releasing it from her usual ponytail confines. As her hair cascaded down her bare beautiful shoulders I felt my own breathing begin to accelerate. I remained still unsure of what she was deciding to do. This was a new dynamic usually I was the one that initiated our more desire and lust filled encounters. This time she was flipping the script. She walked around the bed and came to stand before me. I could feel her desire was now matching my own; she held out her hands and I gladly accepted them. Rising up to my full height and looking down to lock my heated gaze to hers she finally spoke. "I didn't know that; I didn't know that by keeping myself away from you I was hurting you. I never truly knew until this moment how much you love me." I smiled and leaned down closer to press my lips to hers. Our lips were barely touching when I replied "So I take it our little discussion has yet again been put on hold?" I didn't even try to keep the lust out of my voice nor did I attempt to stop my body from reacting to her now rather wonderfully close proximity. Her reply was short and to the point with our lips so close to achieving the desired connection her lust filled voice now matching mine replied "What do you think." Her lips connected to mine with a force that I had only experienced a few times during our past month together. As we started the soul binding dance that we both knew so well all thoughts of talking were gone.
That memory usually came back to both delight me and to torment me in equal amounts. Marriage hadn't dulled our shared desire or lust for the other in fact if anything the need for that connection grew with time hence why she was pregnant within a few months of our wedding day. However today that memory was to torment; Felicity had learned over many years of marriage how to have a fight with me. She made sure I was firmly separated from her by at least 25 feet than she kept herself far enough away until I realized that the sooner we had the fight the sooner her body would be within my grasp. As I've always said my wife was entirely too smart. Our disagreement today had to do with Riley. We were in her QI offices so that also created a barrier between me using my usual tactics to sway her out of a fight. She was sitting behind her desk and her eyes were set in anger and annoyance. "Oliver she saw you in action, and in the leather get up. I really don't think you can lie about it this time love." I loved that she always called me love it just added another level of intimacy to all or our interactions. However that would be moving off the subject at hand. I was standing on the far side of the room to maintain her rule of 25 feet during an argument. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and replied back with just as much anger as her tone had leveled at me. "Fel-ic-ity I'm not having this discussion again. It's bad enough that Tommy wants to follow in my footsteps but Riley is having nothing to do with this life. I'm not going to give her any ideas by telling her who I am." Her anger in that moment must have caused a lapse in her usually flawless judgment because she stood up and walked forward until she was standing directly in front of me with her laser focus directed entirely on me. "Oliver Jonas Queen you are telling your daughter the truth. Tommy found out because he stumbled upon the basement lair. He is now off training to be your heir in some god forsaken military school that you, John, and Sara Lance found without my knowledge or consent. I had no say in that choice so you my darling husband don't have a choice in this one." Her last statement was made very clear by her jabbing her index finger into my chest with each word.
I leaned forward into her rapidly decreasing personal space and leveled my Green Arrow gaze at her. "Felicity Meghan Queen I'm not making our precious, beautiful and innocent daughter apart of this life. Tommy went above me and had both John and Sara on board before I could even raise an objection. Riley is not going to be another version of that mistake. I'm not loosing another child to this god damn crusade. The answer is no." I unlike my wife had not jabbed my finger into her chest I knew that would have me sleeping on the couch for the next month. Now her chest was touching my own and we were both breathing harder than we were when this argument had started. Our arguments had another unexpected side affect that was also discovered during another argument during our first months together. The closer we got the more intense our connection became. We were like moths to an open flame we just couldn't resist each other once we were in the other's orbit. Felicity's eyes were getting darker and that familiar pull was starting to pull our bodies even closer together. Our palms were touching along with our foreheads as we just kept getting closer and closer to our own personal flame. Felicity was the first to break our desire filled trance. "Alright this has to stop, first I'm not having sex with you in our office, and secondly this argument is far from over." I gulped but still made no move to break our connection nor did she. "I agree. This is absurd you would think that by know our reaction to each other would have diminished instead it just gets stronger with time." She smirked "I know it's like we're magnets that are just constantly attracted to the other. However you are going to tell her the truth but you won't be doing it alone."
I opened my eyes at that statement to see the lust and desire was replaced with love and understanding. " I know you're scared love I am too. After what happened with Tommy I couldn't bear if another one of our children followed us into this life; but she's our daughter and like our son she deserves to hear the truth from us her parents." We had yet to move a muscle from our current positions and I doubted we would for several more minutes now. However I knew that our argument was done and that she had again won. "Alright love we'll tell her tonight and we'll do it as we have done everything thus far… together." She smiled and this time lightly pressed her lips to mine. "Now that I can agree with."
Being the second born of the Queen children was a difficult job, what made it worse was the fact that I was also a girl. Tommy was in some foreign military school learning to fight like our father the famous Green Arrow. Tommy being 18 informed our parents rather loudly that he could make up his own mind and given how stubborn he could be they folded rather quickly. He was 15 when he found out about our parents other life which made me 12 almost 13 because I had yet to have my birthday. Tommy and I had always been close so when he found the secret lair underneath our rather massive house he had woken me from a dead sleep at 2 in the morning to show me. "Ri Ri wake up. Come on I know you can hear me open your eyes and get a move on." I peaked open an eyelid and glared. "Tom Tom I'm sleeping go away." He proceeded to grab my braid and yank down hard. "Wake up Riley I have something incredible to show you." I now opened both eyes and used my mother's angry face to convey my rather heated emotions. "Yeah like the last time you had something incredible to show me. That as I recall was a volcano that you had built for some prank at the school science fair. Although you were grounded for a month and you had to do manual labor for dad so that was pretty funny." He glared and rolled his eyes while also sticking out his tongue. "No this time I'm serious this is huge." Sensing my older brother wasn't going to stop I hauled my very tired body out of bed. "Fine but I have practice in the morning for the debate team and if you wake up the twins Jake the snake will rat us both out before Friday pancakes." Smiling in victory we did our secret handshake that we had been doing since he was 6 and I was 4 and we proceeded down the stairs towards the first floor.
"Oh my god it's a basement door! Wow what a discovery! You should be in the papers for this astonishing find!" I had my mother's looks but almost all of my father's personality traits including his gift for sarcasm. "Oh shut up Ri, open the bloody door and walk down the stairs then I can make the snide remarks." My brother the little bastard had received equal personality traits from both sides. I opened the door with a huff and proceeded down the dark unlit stairs. Finally reaching the bottom and flipping the switch on the right of the staircase I saw what my brother had woken me up for. It was amazing it was a fully outfitted super hero lair. You could feel my mother's influence in every nook and open space. You could also feel my father and his task oriented mind in how things were placed and the overall flow and movement of the room. I gaped with shock and awe as I ran around the various computer screens and hi-tech equipment that was located in the center of the brightly lit room. Off to the right were various leather suits. One was all black with buckles and a blonde wig, the other was mostly red with some black and lots of intricate stitch work woven throughout the main jacket. Another one was there but is was basic black with no real design or creative elements, it was solid and basic. The last one was famous the last one was on many pairs of pjs that I had growing up. It was green with a cloth like hood, intricate stitching up the jacket and pants to match. The other wall was filled with weapons of all sorts, guns staff weapons, bows, arrows of all sorts and some I've never even heard of. There was another wall also filled with glass cases containing even more leather get ups. One was all red and looked to be made of a material that would reduce wind speed and would hold up under extreme speed. The other was pure white and very similar in design to the black outfit with the blonde wig. The last one was a machine or a robot looking suit that was red, blue and black. Looking around and taking in the full picture I realized what were standing in. "My god Tommy were standing in the lair of the Green Arrow." He smiled as I finally put the pieces together. "Oh my god our father is the Green Arrow which makes our mother The Oracle." Needless to say I was going to be rather tired at debate practice tomorrow.
Our parents were some of the most notorious vigilante's in history and they had a lair underneath our feet this entire time. I found a chair next to a workstation that was filled with various types of equipment that was used for god only knows what. I slumped into the chair with a thud while Tommy rather smugly took the seat next to mine. I was in shock, I was pissed off, I was confused. "How did you find this, when did you find this, how did we not figure this out?" The questions were finally forming in my mind and coming out of my mouth with my voice rising with each confusion laced question. Tommy of course was calm and collected because well he already knew about this…huge gigantic lie. "Ri Ri they did it to protect us you have to know that." Of course he could sense what I was feeling; since we were kids he had always been able to sense what I was feeling and thinking. The gift also went the other way much to my delight and his annoyance. "Toms I knew you hiding something from me but I thought you had taken dad's motorcycle out for a joyride I never would have guessed it was this." He just smiled and let out a sigh of relief "I'm so glad I told you Ri Ri, I've been going crazy for weeks with this information. I just wasn't sure if I could show you all this and still feel like I've done my job as your big brother." I winced at the last statement. That was Tommy for you; always trying to protect me from any possible danger in sight. Patting him on his back and then smacking the back of head I retorted back. "Number one thank you for once again being like our father and being overprotective. Secondly how could you not tell me about this sooner I mean weeks Toms weeks? We could have been discussing this instead of how I was going to win the debate. Also how did you find out?"
He told me, in great detail mind you for almost 3 in the morning about how he had found out. "You remember about a month or maybe a month in half ago when everyone was camped out in the house for three days?" I nodded slowly and recalling that the house had been full of both people and warring emotions. Everyone had been here, Aunt Laurel, Aunt Sara, Uncle Digg, Aunt Lyla, their children, Aunt Thea and Uncle Roy and their children, grandma, grandpa and even their business associate Ray Palmer had shown up. They all claimed it was to keep mom company while dad was away on some as it turned out 3 day business trip. I hadn't really bought that line but I was just so excited to have everyone together that I bought the lies and enjoyed our time together. "Yeah sure I remember that, I didn't really buy the story but yeah I do remember how weird they were all acting; why?" Tommy now nodding and looking down responded "Ri they were here because dad was hurt." My world stopped and my face fell "what do you mean daddy was hurt, Tommy he was fine, he was back three days…later." As if the pieces finally clicked into place I realized the truth. "Dad was hurt in the bomb that was placed in the upper levels of Queen Industries wasn't he?" I felt the tears start to run down my face. My father, my daddy was almost killed and we had never been told. He was hurt and could have died down here in this cave and they weren't going to tell us the truth. Now I was mad and I wanted answers. Tommy once again seeing the whiplash of my changing emotions across my face put his left hand on mine and used his right hand to steady my shoulder. "Riley just take a deep breath and calm down. We can't tell them that we both know. And yes they did lie but it was to protect us not to hurt us." I was still fuming and attempting to escape my brother's grasp. "How can you be so calm about all of this?" My anger rising "OUR FATHER ALMOST DIED AND THEY WEREN'T GOING TO TELL US!" At that he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. "I know Riley, I know but we know now and that is the last time that we're going to left out of the loop. I promise Riley we'll never have to be in the dark again." We just stood there hugging each other until we both felt that we were really in this fight together as family should be.
That night we had talked about his plans to one day join team Green Arrow. I of course thought he was crazy and of course I told him so. We talked well past 4 am and needless to say the morning was filled with our parents sharing worried glances back and forth at their both usually chatty oldest children. So we made a plan Tommy was going to get caught in the liar by either one of our parents and then he was going to force them to tell him the truth. His thinking was that if he could get in on the bottom floor and then spend the next three years convincing the other team members that he had what it took to one day pick up our father's mantle; that one day our father could retire. His plan for me was to say nothing. Tommy had thought this through and had gone through the various papers and articles that had been published since the Hood had come on the scene. He explained how our father came back from Lian Yu with a mission and that somewhere along the way the plan shifted and changed once his namesake died during the Undertaking. Tommy than traced both the Arrow and the Hood to many busts including the Undertaking and some zombie soldier invasion that injured and killed many. However he really made some headway when the Arrow or the foe Arrow our Uncle Roy was taken into custody. He apparently died in jail and well since he's married to our Aunt Thea and they have Meredith, and Corey my guess is he didn't. Finally after going through the numerous Green Arrow years he told me that my role was going to law enforcement. That's right my brother wanted to become the Green Arrow and he wanted me to follow in our grandpas footsteps and be his inside man. Yeah my brother really did love his plans.
Flash forward three years and two days and here I sit in our family room waiting for my parents to do the big reveal. I knew I had screwed up but mom was in the building and dad didn't know. The guy had a gun to my mother's head and my father was nowhere in site. Tommy and I had found a way to hack our mother's firewall a month after he told me the truth so that when they went out we could monitor the com chatter. We knew every plan, every mission and every villain they had taken down in the last three years. Tommy was using this information to train and to plan for his ultimate goal of taking over for dad. I was training to be well mom; and to be become his inside man in the police department so that meant he followed them out to the missions and stayed behind to monitor the situation. Since Tommy was off become Luke Skywalker I was left to monitor the chatter as I normally did and that's when I heard my mother's scared but still strong voice come through the com. She wasn't begging for her life she was informing whomever was threatening her life that he was going to regret that course of action. Of course her language was a bit more colorful than mine. That's when I heard the click of the gun and my heart froze. This man was going to kill my mother and I was going to hear it. My father was on the other side of town dealing with by the sounds of it 3 or 4 armed assailants so he wasn't going to get there in time. I did what any daughter we would do I went up the 20 flights of stairs from my hiding space in QI and bought my father some time.
My plan worked the gunman was distracted so my mother was able to signal my father who came crashing through her multiple glass windows not even 20 minutes later. He saw my mother and then he saw me; with reflexes that Tommy could only dream of he removed the threat of the gunman before they both came barreling towards my still shock ridden body. He was impressive and pissed. Thus my current predicament. My parents were impressive people on a good day; today however they were my personal hero's. In the walked their hands tangled together and their bodies both strong and in control. Watching them enter I fully realized that the bond they shared was unbreakable. I knew my parents were in love hell anyone who so much as watched them interact could see how much they loved each other. They were always touching, looking, glancing, kissing, they were always in contact with the other so it was no surprise to see them walk in together, holding hands and ready to tell me the truth. I just smiled and waited for the conversation that was going to change all our lives.
We sat down in front of Riley our hands still joined; her face was passive and calm the one trait I really wished she hadn't inherited from me. Felicity spoke first "Riley how long have you known about our other job?" She was direct and to the point. Felicity had decided that based on our daughter's real lack of confusion and shock given the situation that she had to have already known about my other identity before hand. Leveling our daughter with her patented don't lie to me gaze she encouraged her to press on. Riley now interlocking her mother with her own gaze of geez took you long enough. "I knew about three weeks after Tommy did. I mean come on we've shared everything since I was four, we even have a secret handshake for Christ sake." Felicity's tone came out clipped and slightly amused with her next statement. "Number one watch your language, number two you're part of your brother's ultimate plan aren't you." That last part was more of a statement of fact than a question. Smiling slightly and glancing in my direction she answered. "Yup he wants to take dad's place and I'm to join law enforcement to be his inside man. He works one angle and I work the other much like you two." I was amazed. My two brilliant children had been planning this for three years and we had never been the wiser. This time I squeezed my wife's still entangled hand signaling I was finally ready to join the conversation. Looking at Riley with a mixture of awe and frustration I spoke "Riley I'm aware that talking you my emotional mini me out of this isn't going to work. This tactic failed with your brother and now I know why. He had a larger plan and you were apart of it. What I need you to understand is why I'll forever be against both of you taking on this life."
I paused before going on. This speech was going to be one of the harder one's that I would have to deliver in my all my life. I continued to grasp onto Felicity's hand for comfort and for strength. It was her encouragement, belief, and love that had saved me time and time again. She saved my soul and I just hoped that I could save theirs. "Riley do you remember when we told you about my scars? Do you remember how we explained them to you when you were younger?" My daughter nodded her head slowly and remained quiet. "Well you've seen the physical cost that this life can leave however both you and Tommy have never seen the emotional ones. The scars that don't show are the deepest ones of all." I paused to take a deep breath and forced myself to continue. "Since you're brother has done his homework and I assume so have you; then you know about my past, my time on Lian Yu, Hong Kong, and various other places. You know about my time as the Hood, the Arrow, and now the Green Arrow. You have the facts but you don't have the history; you don't know how much was lost and how much I was willing to give up to be those men. You don't know how many I hurt and destroyed to be those men. You don't know the cost of being those men."
My daughter's eyes were wet from unshed tears but she remained still and firmly in place. "You're right I don't know, so tell me, make me understand, daddy make us understand." I glanced from her to Felicity who was silently urging me to continue. "I came back to Starling with a mission, I was going to rid this city of those who meant to do it harm. My path to that was to kill, intimidate and remove any obstacle in my way. I was a lost man without a soul until one day I was given one. Two people saved my soul, John saved my soul my joining my cause, becoming my partner, and then by becoming my brother. Our relationship was tested and broken many times over the years. We remained brothers because I saved him just as much as he did me." I stopped searching her eyes for a hint of understanding. Sensing this she spoke quietly while smiling "Daddy keep going I need to hear this." My voice becoming rawer with emotion started to waver and crack; Felicity's head leaned against my shoulder with her nose breathing me in. That gesture was enough for me to continue. "My second savior is sitting right here next to me; your mother saved me with a red pen and a look. She made me smile, really smile for the first time in 5 years. She slowly invaded my heart, my mind and, my soul until she was everything. I almost lost her due to being the Arrow, due to my own emotional scars but she never fully let go. As she'll tell you her love for me started off slow but once it took hold it never let go."
I was opening up to this beautiful girl, my girl who like her mother would forever hold a piece of my heart. I was telling her how much it almost cost me to be this man that my city and many others had called a hero. Hoping she was really understanding I went into my last line; my closing remarks if you will. "Riley my point is that you all have seen my physical scars and we've told you the abbreviated version of how they came to be. However my deepest scars, the ugliest of all my wounds are the ones that never healed until all of you. The scars that you can't see are the ones that I feared would never heal, they're the ones that made me do, say, and behave in ways that I still to this do can't fully explain. If you go down this path than one day you'll have your own scars both physical and emotional and I never wanted for any of you to ever experience the kind of pain that I did." Her tears had fallen down her face and I was releasing my hold on her mother to reach for her. I sat down beside her and wrapped my arms around her shaking frame. I rubbed my hand up and down her back as she leaned into my arms with her tear stained face making slight wet spots on my collared white shirt. She used her hands to steady herself against my chest as she cried and wept for all the pain and torment she had seen and had yet to see. I could feel Felicity move before I saw her; she had come to sit behind our daughters back and was holding her as well, gentling nuzzling her hair with her nose and whispering soothing words as her hands joined mine in their soothing motions up and down her back. Once she had finally calmed down she pulled slightly out of my arms but not fully. She placed her head above my heart and held each of her hands in one of her own and spoke. "Daddy, mommy I love you both so much. I'm so glad that you told me about the scars that we have never seen; but daddy the reason we haven't seen them is because you had begun to heal by the time we were born. Mom and Uncle John they started to heal your soul long before you knew about it. They both loved you and they both believed in you but; what really saved you was you." I sat there with my head resting against her own, with my arms wrapped around two of the five most important people in my life listening as she spoke. Felicity decided to speak to gain a better understanding of what our daughter meant. "How did he do that sweetie?" Her response was simple and straight from her heart. "He saved himself the moment he decided to allow himself to love you. Once he did that the deepest scars the one's marking his heart finally started to heal. That is what brought him you and then us." I knew in that moment that one day both of my children were going to be taking up this mission and that it would break my heart once they did. I also knew that they wouldn't make the same mistakes I made; they'd make their own brand new mistakes. They would do this because as Felicity had always said they're the best of you and me; and that was always good enough for me.
