BORUTO's POV
"Hold your horses! Let me at least complete goddamnit!
I won't accept your apology. . .
Not unless you tell me a few things about you"
Those were my words. I don't know how I managed to say them since I'm a coward when it comes to talking to the girl with spectacles, but it seems that I wanted to know about her desperately.
Questions I need answers to.
"You... want to know about 'me'?", she asked after blinking twice; emphasising on the word 'me', probably because she wasn't expecting that question and was just confirming what she just heard.
"Yes, I need to ask you a couple of things.", I said, as once again a bright smile stretched on my face assuring her.
"What do you want to ask me?"
Something which I noticed, was that, her voice no longer sounded 'cold'; instead, it beautifully expressed all emotions which her face was unable to.
I was definitely more comfortable to have a conversation with her than earlier, it seemed as if today, even she wanted to talk to me and was a completely different person.
This is a side of hers which I've never seen, probably a hint of it when she flashed a smile on the starry night; but other than that- I've only seen an unpleasant girl.
"Explain me your actions on the second day of N.U."
She knew which action I was emphasising about: the time she had slapped me in front of everyone on the grounds of N.U, when I was just being nice by enquiring about her social life.
She let out a sigh, and I knew that a really long explanation was coming my way. But I wanted to listen every bit of it.
"Come on my bed.", she said as she turned around and started walking towards it.
Holy crap.
Once again, some really inappropriate thoughts clouded my mind. Immediately heat had taken over my body as I looked away trying to hide my face which matched the colour of my red, untied, messy tie.
There are many things that I regret doing, but the most regrettable thing that I've ever done in the sixteen years of my life is reading that stupid chapter of the "Icha Icha" series, today.
I hate not being dense.
But upon seeing her all seated, I realised that all that she wanted me to do is sit beside her. Goddamnit, I cannot do that so casually after thinking about shit which I wasn't supposed to be: in my head.
I just stood there- all frozen on the horns of dilemma, debating on whether I should stand like an idiot or sit on the bed beside the girl with spectacles.
"What is it?", she asked me in a slightly annoyed tone as she pulled her purple blanket over her lap.
Obviously she had no idea about those dirty thoughts which were lingering in my disgusting mind thanks to that stupid book.
"Uhh nothing really. . .I'm all good here.", I assured her, although my legs were killing me because of all that running I had done from the station to her place just so that I could make it in time, but I anyways stood still.
She clearly didn't seem satisfied with my reply, but let out a sigh stating that she didn't care anyways.
"So. . .tell me, the other day; why did you. . .", I asked as I scratched the back of my neck nervously, not sure whether she would be comfortable in telling me everything.
I didn't need to complete my sentence, she knew what I wanted to talk about; about that same incident which had left everyone on the grounds of N.U. shocked: the time when she had slapped me.
The silence had once again taken over, it was for a while- but still. The silence was mixed with awkwardness, tension, confusion and hesitation all together making the entire situation more than uncomfortable.
"I don't know where to begin with. . .", she finally spoke as she once again got the hold of her velvet blanket and turned her gaze down.
She sounded and looked really upset. I hated her cold attitude towards me earlier, but seeing her helpless like this is even worse. For some reason, her this face hurt me, after all, I do consider her as my friend.
I knew that whatever reason she had to tell me, was extremely painful and it required a lot of courage and some strength as well.
"I want to tell you everything that you need to know before I get to my explanation . . ."
Her coldness didn't return, instead, the sorrow in her voice grew. I knew that whatever she wanted to tell me was not only hard, but also sad.
And yes, she had to tell me a few things about her; like: her name?
It's honestly unbelievable and funny at the same time- that after all these days, I still don't know her name.
"I have changed." , she began, still with a feeling of deep distress in her voice.
Here it comes. . .
"I was never like this. . . This girl which you see in front of you right now, and the girl you have been with all this time. . . She never existed. . . She. . . was made to exist."
Okay, where are the cameras? Isn't this a movie dialogue? It's not? Damn these people missed a good scene. In any case- I'm going to keep my serious face and mindset.
" I was always filled with happiness, social, had many friends. . .", she let out a sad smile as she remembered those days which I'm assuming are when she was a kid?
Okay I know she ain't lying, but seeing a girl like her having fun is a little. . . hard to imagine?
" 'They' used to come to my place, to play. . . play with 'my' toys and video games to be exact- laugh, have fun. . .", she added as she still had that smile plastered on her face.
But for some reason, that smile wasn't genuine, it didn't come from her heart. I could tell. Her real smile was the one she had the other day when I dropped her home at night.
Behind this smile lay a sad face which refused to come out as I saw her dark, yet bright eyes.
"All the fun which we had simply disappeared when I realised the ugly truth. . ."
I looked at her from a distance, filled with worry in my crystal eyes as the smile on her face disappeared at the very next moment. Her gaze was still down, after all it wasn't easy for her. I could tell.
Goddamnit, why am I so fudging serious? This isn't like me! More than that, this isn't like her. . .
"I overheard the people whom I always considered as my 'friends' talking behind my back that they never liked me, they always came to my place to play because it was. . . luxurious?", she held the blanket even more tightly as her head lowered further, I could tell that she didn't want me to see her like that.
"They loved the stuff I made for them, they loved the games they played with, they loved to relax, they loved their company. . . the only thing that they didn't like was. . . me..."
I stared at her, I wanted to comfort her; but, didn't know how to. I lacked the words. I kept hunting for them, but none struck me. I was...speechless...
"I honestly trusted them. . . they were the closest people to me after my parents. All that they do was use me. . .You won't understand the feeling of betrayal.", she added.
She simply glared at her blanket which he held tightly, unblinking, as random, thin strands of her raven hair fell on her face and her dark eyebrows knitted in a frown.
"Have you ever been crushed so badly that you don't want to believe anyone anymore?"
A tiny, salty drop of water drip from the corner of her eye which she immediately wiped away hoping that I didn't see it.
She then took a deep breath, as she continued.
"So that's when I decided to never associate with anyone ever again.", she spoke as she let go of her blanket slowly; relaxed.
"For me friends are none other than people who end up betraying you sooner or later. . .", she added followed by a sigh as she still had her gaze down avoiding the eye contact between us. . .
I honestly don't know what to say.
All my questions were answered by just this explanation.
The reason why she remained antisocial, the reason why she never had a change of expression, the reason why she never cared to talk to me, the reason why she was always cold and the reason why she slapped me when I was asking her about her social issues in such an abrupt way.
Everything was answered.
"I tried my best to not socialise with anyone, I didn't want my heart to be broken once again. . . I genuinely loved those people who were supposedly my 'friends' ", her voice cracked a several times as she spoke, and I knew it was getting more and more difficult for her to speak and tell me about her past.
At this point, I wanted to give her the tightest hug possible, I wanted to tell her that everything would be okay; I wanted to calm her down. But instead, I simply froze.
She was never a cold or rude person, she was turned into one.
"Have you ever heard of 'Never get too attached to someone, because attachments lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointment.' ?
After all this, I stayed strong. . .I moved on, didn't shed a single tear; to distract myself from everything that was happening around me, I-I involved myself into studies.
I studied day and night just so that these thoughts couldn't block my head. The chatting of people in the classroom had turned into an unbearable noise for me."
I knew that she would break down crying at any second although she did say that she had never cried before, since all I knew was that recalling a sad past can be really hurtful.
She didn't want to go on, but at the same time did want to tell me more.
Even she had social issues like me, but in my case, I was alone because people refused to accept me; but in her case. . .she chose to not get accepted by people after that.
Even though we had our differences, we did share some similarities at the same time.
The other day, when I asked her about her social issues out of the blue, it definitely angered her. After all, I didn't know what she had been through, and it was my mistake for asking something so sensitive to her in such a miserable manner.
She never 'hated' me to begin with- like I had always thought. Sure, she avoided me, but that's all because of her mindset of not socialising.
"That's when I decided. . .to never trust anyone.", she said as she let out a air, exhaling which signalled that she was done telling me everything.
I really don't know what happened to me. The entire world stopped for some brief seconds for me.
How did I feel after knowing the fact that she had trust issues? Did I feel sad? Upset? Troubled? Worried? Angry?
Before I could feel anything, my feet automatically moved towards the girl with spectacles.
I don't know what I was doing, my brain for some reason had stopped working, and at this point, I was just listening to my heart.
I slowly sat beside her on the soft bed- sinking in, as I stared at the girl with spectacles who still had her dark eyes casting down as she tried to avoid the eye contact.
After a few brief moments of silence, it was my turn to talk to her about everything now.
"When you told me that I couldn't ever understand you, you were right.
I don't understand you, because the true pain can be felt only by the person who have been through a particular situation.
Even if I try to- I wouldn't be able to understand you completely.", I said as I still kept my gaze locked onto her- without blinking, observing her to the fullest.
"But, what I understand from the entire situation is that- you trusted the wrong people.", I commented as I turned a little bit more towards her only to see the motionless girl with spectacles.
"I'm not an advisor, neither do I know how to give any motivational speeches nor am I Deku, but from what I know and have read-
Only trust someone who can see these three things in you:
The sorrow behind your smile,
The love behind your anger,
and last but not the least- the reason behind your silence."
Bless tumblr for that quote towards the end. But hey? I need credits for remembering.
There was no reply, but after a while- she responded with a unsure nod still with her gaze lowered- locked upon the floor.
"But, you don't trust anyone right now?"
"No.", she replied straightforwardly, without any hesitation.
"Not even me?"
She immediately raised her head and glared at me, widening her dark eyes which stayed hidden under her bright red spectacles. She probably didn't see that coming, in fact, even I didn't. Those words simply slipped out of my mouth unknowingly.
She remained silent.
Silence— something I always hated. And I know what this silence meant.
Why would she trust me after all? It might sound like not a huge deal, and I really don't know how it feels to get betrayed. But all I know is that it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And that, the saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies- but none other than the people whom you trusted deeply.
Obviously a person suffering from betrayal would think twice, or over a million times before they associate with anyone. It takes a lot of time to fix a broken heart, but a mere second to break it.
I don't see why she would trust me. She doesn't even know me, and to be completely honest, neither do I. I'm not worthy enough to 'trust'.
I'm a prankster, messy person, always bored in lectures, attention seeker, and apparently a spoiled kid of the N.U's owner.
Why would she trust me?
I stopped staring into her eyes and looked down with slight sorrow as I let out a sigh followed by a dull smile.
"I see. . .", were the only words escaped from my mouth as I got up.
I picked up my backpack which had fallen down earlier as I turned my back and walked towards the door.
But as I took a step, I felt a tender feeling electrifying- my wrist was grabbed tightly by a soft, tiny hand.
It was warm. . . but not warmer than mine.
Not only was my hand warm, but also pretty much my entire body thanks to the heat of embarrassment upon realisation.
I stopped walking as I turned around, confused, only to see the girl with spectacles almost on the verge of crying holding my wrist tightly.
I didn't say or ask her anything, I was utterly clueless about her this action, also because the awkwardness and embarrassment was pretty much killing me.
I stared into her dark eyes, under her bright red spectacles, which had a thin film of water which could rupture at any moment sending her into tears.
She opened her mouth slightly and saw deeper in my crystal blue eyes as she finally broke the silence by saying;
"I-I trust you...Boruto..."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Gosh!
That was one hell of a chapter!
I let you guys know so much about Sarada's past, and why she's been having trust issues. Their interactions are so heartwarming and Boruto is just so understanding.
Honestly, Boruto is all I need in my life to provide me complete happiness. He is so precious, so adorable, so pure—
And the fact that he read Icha Icha is still super hilarious, like gosh- I hope this becomes canon somewhere in the series!
Anyways, I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! The next chapter is going to be filled with so much BoruSara!
Also, I'm sorry! My exam was literally TODAY. So I couldn't publish on Thursday *yikes*
New chapter 100% coming on this Thursday!
