Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of it's characters.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay (again). I'm really rather slow with this updating aren't I? Well anyways, thanks as always for the reviews and adds. I hope you enjoy this

Rin

Rin sat in her room rereading Barukan's latest missive. Over the last few weeks they had kept in near constant contact. After the party she had been a nervous wreck wondering if she had made Sesshomaru angry and then had moped around at the thought of him marrying that woman. Although, she supposed it made perfect sense. She was a powerful demon and very beautiful. She also had a cruel streak in her. She had mentioned the sorceress even though it had caused Rin some obvious discomfort. Of course, that was to be expected. She was marking her territory. Rin frowned as she thought of Lord Sesshomaru mating that woman. Perhaps he was very attracted to her after all. She really had no experience when it came to that sort of thing. Barukan had ensured her that their mating was all but formally finished.

Barukan had turned out to be a great friend. He had written her of so many things these past weeks. Giving her insight as well as courage. Through Barukan's urging she had decided to try and learn the new powers she possessed, thanks to the sorceress that had forever changed her. What she had discovered was a wide array of possibilities. Apparently the sorceress had control over flesh and that was how she had manipulated the body that Rin now inhabited. Rin was careful to practice far from the eyes of servants who might report back to Lord Sesshomaru. She didn't like lying to him but she wasn't yet sure how he would take the idea. Besides she didn't want to interrupt him from the mated life she had clearly taken him away from. With that thought she sank into another morose dip and gazed out her window with a sigh. She had been thinking lately about her future. Quite a lot actually. And if she was honest with herself, that future was not here.

It had taken her time to admit that her girlish dream of staying with Lord Sesshomaru forever had morphed into one of them being mated and living out their days as they did now. But it was all just shades of the same impossible color. There was no way that it could work even if he wanted it to. And who was she to force herself on him anyway? He had saved her, many times over; cared for her when no one else did and now he had gone through all of the trouble to give her an elaborate coming out party. She was decided. She would leave and give him space to be a demon without constantly having a human to worry over. Not to mention privacy to get back to his mated life. He probably wanted children of his own she thought. A son to carry on the legacy. The thought of Kaori giving him that child made her heart gasp but that was how the world worked and she couldn't be a part of this one anymore.

The only decision left to make was where. Where would she go if she couldn't be here? Logically she should go back to Kagome and Inuyasha. Perhaps she could learn to become a priestess like Kagome. It was unlikely that any man anywhere would ever compare to Sesshomaru anyways. Stupid dog demon, he'd ruined everything with his absurd perfection. She chatisised herself thoroughly as soon as she'd thought it. How could she think such unkind words at the demon that had created for her a place to be safe? It was no wonder she had idolized him in her youth and fallen so hard for him in her present. He had given her the one thing she had desperately needed and done so without asking or without any thought of wanting something in return. It had always been her choice to follow him; he had made that abundantly clear. So now, she was choosing to leave and she had no doubt he would accept it.

While she searched around her room for the things she would like to take with her the door to her room opened and her maid Michiru bowed before entering. She was all but fluttering around the room in excitement, pulling out the more ceremonial kimonos in Rin's collection and regarding them all with a frown. "Am I going somewhere today?" Rin asked somehow managing to keep her irritation at not being informed of her own agenda for the day, again, from showing. Of all the things she would leave behind she imagined the freedom she gained would be slightly mollifying. Michiru turned to her distractedly and shook her head.

"The Master has returned so we must get you ready for supper." Rin's traitorous heart beat faster at the thought of Lord Sesshomaru eating dinner with her. Not that he ever actually ate of course, but on occasion he did sit with her and keep her company. Strange, silent company.

"I am quite adequately dressed for dinner Michiru there is no need for all of that." Rin waved a hand at the obscene display of finely woven fabric now draped all over her bed. Michiru smiled and then nodded to herself and picked up the green one with a golden leaf pattern. She came over to Rin and started to undress her with a brusque efficiency despite Rin's protests. "Will you at least tell me why it is so important for me to wear this thing tonight? What has happened?"

"It's not my place to say." The maid responded so Rin tucked her arms around herself and then stepped away from the robe she held out.

"I refuse to dress any further until you tell me what this nonsense is all about." Rin darted away when Michiru came towards her and was rewarded with a frustrated sigh.

"It is meant to be a surprise Mistress. If I tell you I will not only ruin it but anger the Master."

"I promise to act surprised." She said solemnly. She tried to ignore the way her pulse raced at the thought of what Sesshomaru meant to surprise her with. Her last surprise had been a giant party and a very angry mate. What else was there? Michiru sighed again and sat on a chair staring at Rin with wide eyes.

"Fine, have it your way. Master Barukan has made an offer for you." Rin's heart froze and her muscles locked in place. "And Lord Sesshomaru has accepted. You are to be mated my Lady. I hear Master Barukan is a fine demon with a large territory and he is very pleasant to look at." Michiru added in a gush. Rin was having trouble convincing her heart that it did in fact have to beat or she would die. When it finally started she moved on to her lungs. Telling them to inflate again didn't seem to get her anywhere. "Why Mistress, you look upset. Are you not pleased?" Michiru actually look terrified so Rin forced a brief smile.

"No, Michiru I am quite pleased just surprised is all. Master Barukan made no mention of his intentions in our correspondence." Michiru chuckled and swatted the air near Rin's arm.

"Well that would hardly be appropriate now would it? Now you must promise to act not only surprised but enthusiastic by the news when Lord Sesshomaru tells you, yes?" Rin could only nod having used up her ability to speak with her previous answer. She held out her numb arms to Michiru who proceeded to finish dressing her in the kimono that was Sesshomaru's favorite. She wondered if Michiru had done that on purpose or perhaps the maid simply didn't know. It was going to look like Rin already knew what was coming if she went into the hall like this but she really had no other options. Her maid had vetoed all other selections in her wardrobe. She fingered the necklace around her neck absently as she tried to make her brain start working again. Michiru took her hair down and then put it back up in a half up do that seemed to always please Lord Sesshomaru. "Alright, you're ready." Michiru had tears in her eyes and she ushered Rin over to the door.

Rin made her way to the hall on autopilot then sat down at her usual place. Sesshomaru was not already seated there which only leant evidence to the momentous change that was now upheaving her life. She forced herself not to fidget or stare dejectedly at anything in the room. He was doing her a great honor in arranging this for her. After all she had been considering leaving herself less than an hour earlier. Of course, a lot had changed between then and now. The door opened and she turned her gaze to watch as the man himself entered the room. He didn't glance at her so he was thankfully unable to see the way she stared at him. His long white hair was exactly the same as it had been the first time she'd seen him in the clearing. She'd spent a good deal of time watching the way that hair swayed with his walk. She blinked and lowered her gaze to the table, giving him a little bow once he was seated as was proper.

"Good evening Rin, how fare thee?" Jaken asked. She looked across at the little imp and felt another pang of loss as she realized she would no longer have him around.

"Very well Master Jaken, and you?" She replied politely being very careful to keep her face neutral.

"Very well indeed. Our travels were most productive." He let out the little giggle that normally accompanied his voice whenever he got excited and she found herself smiling back. He was about to add to his statement but a stern look from Sesshomaru and then the entrance of the food diverted his attention. Jaken dove into his meal with his usual gusto once again giving Rin the excuse to ponder just how much food he could really fit into that little body. She poked at her own food and ate only a bite or two. She wasn't particularly hungry before she had been informed that her life was once again going to change drastically.

"Are you unwell?" Sesshomaru's deep growly voice cut through the silence jolting Jaken and causing Rin to look his way curiously.

"I am quite well milord." She answered after a tense moment of waiting passed between them.

"Is the food not to your liking?" Oh right. Of course he would choose now to watch her and comment on her behavior.

"I have very little appetite this evening is all."

"Are you unwell?" She tried not to stare at him but it was with difficulty. Sesshomaru hated to repeat himself almost as much as he hated humans. Yet he just had.

"Indeed I am well, just not hungry." She smiled at him even though the expression seemed painful just at that moment. His golden eyes watched her intently not entirely persuaded by her pleasant expression.

"This Sesshomaru has come to an arrangement with Master Barukan regarding his ward that will perhaps uplift her mood."

"Master Barukan, is he the shadow demon from the party several weeks ago?" She inquired politely, knowing full well that he knew they corresponded still. Yet he hadn't really left her much room to reply and she knew he would relapse into silence without prodding. This was a conversation that was best done quickly so she could retreat to her room and cry. His eyes narrowed but he otherwise did not comment on the increase in her heart rate or the blatant lie she had just uttered.

"Yes, it seems he was quite taken with you. He has made an offer for you to be his mate." She widened her eyes appropriately and even played a little open and close with her mouth for added effect.

"I am most flattered." She said in a quite humble voice. At least that was how it sounded.

"I have accepted this offer." He spoke in his usual flat tone that suggested the arranging of her future interested him no more than deciding what to eat that day. She would have frowned at his dismissivness but that would only have drawn out the conversation longer and she could feel panic setting in.

"When are we to be mated?" She asked hating the way that it came out. Almost choked but not quite. It was definitely strained though. He studied her a moment or two before responding.

"As soon as it can be done." She felt her spine straighten and her eyes start to blink rapidly. He couldn't wait to be rid of her. It felt like he'd struck her when all he had done was be himself, the same demon he had been all the years she had known him.

"Very well. If you will excuse me." She started to stand when Jaken's high pitched indignance on behalf of his Master halted her.

"Have you no idea how grateful you should be right now you stupid girl? You are a human! Barukan was kind enough to make an offer of some substance for you and your Lord has accepted and…"

"And I'm sure you will agree, Master Jaken, that there are a fair number of things I need to attend to before the ceremony is to occur." She turned to Sesshomaru and bowed low to the floor. "If I did not fully express my gratitude appropriately milord I deeply apologize. I thank you for the honor you have bestowed on me."

"Hn." Was the reply she got and she was used to it by now. So she rose onto her feet and curtseyed again.

"I beg you would excuse me." He waved her away with an imperious hand so she scuttled away as fast as was appropriate. Instead of heading to her room and her no doubt eagerly anticipating maid she veered off into the garden and burst through into the fresh night air. Jasmine perfumed the night all around her and she breathed it in deep. She would not cry. Jaken was right. Sesshomaru was honoring her greatly by arranging a marriage for her, to a demon no less. He was making sure she was taken care of permanently. Barukan was not a horrible match anyways. He was good looking, very wealthy had a position of no small standing in the world and she liked him well enough. True it was as a friend but that was better than nothing wasn't it?

She could still leave she thought as she stared at the edge of her Lord's property. She could just pack something light and head out into the unknown. There would be a human village soon enough and someone would no doubt take her in. Maybe she could even get directions to Kagome's village from there and head that way. Provided Lord Sesshomaru didn't chase after her of course. But why would he? Clearly he wanted nothing more than her absence. The thought had the tears that were already in her eyes brimming over and falling down her cheeks. No she couldn't leave him like that. She would not disgrace him in such a way after all of the effort expended to secure her comfort and well being. She would marry Barukan and try her hardest to be happy in that life. She would still see Sesshomaru from time to time anyway. Their paths would cross in the world of demons or maybe even he would call on her to visit sometime. That would be nice. Probably would bring his mate and they're happy little brood of children though she thought angrily. That was something she definitely didn't want to see. Ever. She huddled in on herself even more and let the misery wash over her just this once. After this she would never… "Rin."

Sesshomaru's deep voice startled her so much she actually jumped. She then hastily wiped at her tear streaked face in an effort to hide what he no doubt already smelt. "Yes milord. I know I'm not supposed to be in the garden this late but I just needed some fresh air." She babbled while trying to make herself more presentable before she turned around to face him. She felt a light prick at her chin and then her face was lifted upwards to meet the eyes of Sesshomaru.

"This Sesshomaru does not appreciate your attempts at deceit, Rin." She blinked, trying to find something to say that would be truthful and yet not ungrateful for everything he had done for her. He stared down into her eyes searching for his answer without asking the question. What he found seemed to shock him because his eyes widened briefly and then blinked once. "I thought you would be pleased." He whispered.