God, my back hurts like hell. This is probably the shittiest chapter of the entire world of Fanfiction but meeh, the halloween chapter it's going to be awesome xD It's going to be updated on Halloween, obviously ;)
Chapter 8:
The weather was getting colder as days passed, and it had already been two weeks since Remus and I kissed. I decided I was going to talk to him about this but I couldn't bring myself to bring the subject. The atmosphere was tense when he and I were alone, and he usually made up some excuse to run away from me.
Peter and James were so oblivious that neither of them noticed nothing strange, but it was better that way, I didn't want to bring even more tension to the group so I decided to forget about the kiss and the stupid feeling I was developing for my friend. I already knew I loved Remus, geez, I loved Peter and James too. But the love I felt for Remus began to feel different. I cared deeply for him and when I saw him sad or happy I felt exactly the same.
What was worse, is that my vampire "feelings" were acting on its own. I could smell other people's blood, but when Remus was in the room his was the only blood I could smell and Merlin, it was so sweet. I couldn't control myself when he was around and my eyes always turned red and my fangs bared. I found myself drinking lots of that disgusting fake blood everyday.
I knew Remus had noticed my change and was trying to avoid me. I couldn't blame him, I would be scared too if a vampire lusted after my blood. But I felt really bad and sad about it.
Halloween was approaching and we still had to decide what we were doing after the banquet. I knew James was thinking about doing something with Lily and maybe Peter was meeting that girl again... Remus and I would be alone again and it was going to be reeeeaaaally awkward.
We were at potions class and I was partnered with James, as usual, while Remus was with Lily and Wormtail was with an other girl. My eyelids felt very heavy, still hadn't get used to getting only two hours of sleep.
'Black!' screamed Slughorn while he was strolling by our side. 'Don't drop that in the cauldron, it will explode!' I stared at the ingredients I had in my hand, ones I hadn't even realized I had grabbed and let them down on the table again. Slughorn glared at me a bit and shook his head.
I couldn't concentrate, not with Remus in that same bedroom. His smell was driving me crazy everyday and it was growing stronger and stronger. I was staring right at him, without any shame and then he turned his head and stared at me. Our eyes connected for a brief moment and then he avoided my gaze and returned to his potion. Lily raised her eyebrows at me and muttered something to Remus but he just shook his head with a soft blush.
At lunch we sat together, as usual, Remus in front of me and I sat down beside James. I grabbed a blood pastille and threw it into the water, watching it turn red. I blinked a couple of times and gulped a bit of the beverage. I started a conversation with Peter and James soon followed but Remus stayed silent.
'Remus, are you okay? You're really silent.' I asked him after a few minutes of pondering what I could say. He stared at me and smiled sweetly. The werewolf nodded and returned his clouded gaze at the food.
'Remus is always silent.' James said with his mouth full of food. Remus stared at him disapprovingly and shook his head, huffing.
'Yeah, but not that silent.'
'It's okay.' Remus said standing up. He smiled at us and retrieved his books. 'I'm going to the library until the classes start so don't wait for me!' he waved at us and left the Great Hall. I furrowed my eyebrows and sighed.
'Dude, what's the matter with you? You're so... Depressed lately.'
'Yeah,' continued Peter. 'it's not like you at all.' I just shook my head and left the Great Hall telling them I had to go to our room to grab a book. I was nearly running down the halls to our common room when I heard someone call my name. I turned around and faced a Ravenclaw girl I had seen at the Great Hall sometimes. She was smiling a bit and was blushing. I raised and eyebrow and stared at her.
'I was just wondering... Would you like to go outside?' she muttered.
'Now?'
'Yes...'
'Oh.' I muttered. 'Yeah, I mean, why not? Let's go.' he walked beside me and we sat down on the grass outside. Remus had reminded me that same morning to take the sun protector so the sun wasn't a problem. But right then, I had another problem.
'You know my fried, Hannah.' I didn't even know who she was talking about. 'You know, blonde, short hair, green eyes, Ravenclaw... You kissed her and went out for a week or so last year...' Oh yeah, one of my many "girlfriends".
'Oh, yep...'
'Well, I was wondering...' our eyes locked and before I even had time to react her lips were on mine. Usually I would have never said no to a kiss, but things had changed and that kiss was so cold and so dull compared to my kiss with Remus that I couldn't even bring myself to return it. After a few seconds I separated my lips and sighed.
'I'm sorry, I'm not... Available.' I murmured. Her eyebrows shot up, her eyes filled with shame.
'Oh... You have a girlfriend?'
'What? No, no, it's just, I like someone. And things have changed, I don't go around kissing girls like the last years. I'm sorry but I just can't...' she nodded and got up.
I wanted to skip the next period so bad, but I couldn't. Remus was going to be there and I had just admitted to someone I liked him. Well, I didn't say it was him but I knew it. I bit my lip and shook my head. Halloween was sure going to be awkward.
I got up and walked to class, where I met with James and Peter. Remus arrived a few minutes later, his arms full of books that sure weighed more than him. I sat down beside him. He quickly put the books in his bag and smiled nervously at me.
'Hey.' I said, not knowing what to do.
'Hi...' I rested my chin on my hand and sighed. Merlin, how I wanted to kiss him right then. I shook my head, sighed and opened the book as the teacher entered.
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Bye-Byee~
