Well, here it is, the next chapter! Thanks for sticking with me this far. I hope you all enjoy this one :D
Senior Year; A Kurtofsky Chronicle
Chapter 8: Pride and Betrayal
Time seemed to stand still. The tension in the room grew so thick you could cut it with a knife, but Dave stood his ground. He stood there in the middle of the room facing the Gleeks and preparing for their judgment. In the back of his mind he was aware of the beautiful boy still standing by his side. Kurt was with him and he accepted Dave even if the others wouldn't -and that was enough.
Dave searched the faces of his former victims. They were all the same; stunned, open-mouthed and wide-eyed with disbelief. All save Santana Lopez. He caught her eye and for a brief moment they stared at each other. When she looked away he realized that he'd done something that she had never had the courage to do. These were her friends, but she'd never been able to be herself in front of them. He knew she hated being vulnerable, he'd hated that too, but now all he could think was what it must have felt like to be in Kurt's situation when he'd found out Dave was gay. I'm out now, he thought, well, at least to the Gleeks, but she's still hiding –still in pain. I'm sorry Santana. I wish you could be here too.
"Well…" Mr. Schuester said, breaking through the awkward and seemingly eternal silence. "That was very brave of you Dave. I'm sorry if you weren't ready to tell us yet, and I'm sorry you had to come out just to get these guys to listen to you." Mr. Schuester gave a chastising look at all of the Gleeks. "I can't believe you had to be pushed so far," said the teacher, "This isn't what Glee club is about guys. I'm very disappointed in all of you. I think you could all learn a thing or two from Dave here."
"Dude…" supplied Finn, "I had no idea…"
"That was the point," Dave said. "I didn't want anyone to know. Hell, I wasn't so sure myself. I mean, I didn't want to be gay, but I can't keep hiding." He looked over to Kurt. The singer had unshed tears in his eyes making them glisten.
"I know that was hard for you Dave," Mr. Schue said, clapping the jock on the shoulder. "And I'm sure no one here was expecting it."
"I sure as hell wasn't," said Puck. "I just thought you were an asshole."
Dave smirked. He knew that was Puck's way of saying 'whatever man, I don't care' and he appreciated him for it. He looked over to Rachel and smiled at her, making her flush. "I know me being gay doesn't excuse the things I did. If anything it makes them worse, but I hope you can at least see where I'm coming from," he said. "I'm not ready to come out to the whole world just yet, or the school for that matter, but I think I can at least clear the air here. It's going to take a while for me to be ready, but I hope you guys won't hold that against me."
Rachel nodded and stood up, surprising Dave by walking over and giving him a hug. Mercedes followed suit, then Tina, Quinn, and Brittany. The guys got up too, but they settled for slapping his back and smirking awkwardly. Lauren gave him punch in the arm that was meant to be affectionate, but Dave was sure it would bruise.
Kurt was last. They looked at each other for a few moments, so many unsaid emotions floating between them. Dave took a step and Kurt closed the distance. It was brief, much too brief for Dave's liking, but he knew that Kurt couldn't very well be seen enjoying a hug with his former bully.
"You've helped me more than I deserve Fancy," Dave said, cracking a smile.
"Well, get used to it Ham hock," Kurt replied, returning Dave's smile with a wide one of his own, "We're all here with you now." Dave felt his heart grow a little lighter. I'm not alone anymore.
"I really hate to kill the love," Santana spoke up from her seat, "but you guys are giving me a tooth ache. Besides, we don't even know if the boy can sing."
"Oh I can attest to that," Mr. Schuester said. "But Santana's right. Before you can become a full-fledged member, you'll have to show us what you've got."
Dave blanched. He'd forgotten that he had to audition still, and he rubbed at his throat which was feeling exceptionally dry all of a sudden. The others broke apart and returned to their seats to watch him. Oh shit, I'm totally gonna crash and burn, Dave thought.
As Kurt made to return to his seat, he gripped Dave's arm and squeezed it gently saying, "You'll do fine," before taking his seat beside Mercedes. Dave's nerves settled a bit and he cleared his throat to sing.
Kurt was relieved when Mr. Schuester had broken the silence. He didn't know if he could hold it in any longer; he was on the verge of screaming. He wanted to scream at all of them to say something, to accept David and to let him start to feel a part of something again. He turned to see the big jock looking at him and smiled.
When Santana brought up the fact that Dave hadn't sung yet, Kurt didn't miss the terrified look in his eyes. He reassured David and went to take a seat next to Mercedes.
"You've got a lot of explaining to do, white-boy," she whispered in his ear, but she smiled and gave him a small wink. Kurt returned the gesture with a small grin, but inside his mind had rapidly started to form excuses and stories. He wasn't yet ready to tell even his BFF about the kiss yet. Besides, if they knew they might start taking it out on David again, he thought to himself.
Dave was talking to the band kids about his song selection and sudden realization struck Kurt: he and Dave were now going to be spending a lot of time together. Blaine isn't going to be happy about this, Kurt thought, but somewhere in the back of his mind was a feeling entirely different; it was happiness. He couldn't admit it to himself yet, but he was happy about having the jock so close. He still worried about what Azimio said, but what could he do about it if David chose to join Glee club? He couldn't very well stop him, though if he admitted it to himself, he did have quite a bit of pull with the jock and could have probably convinced him not to join if he'd wanted to… At this thought, Kurt blushed a little, smiling as Dave took the center of the room again.
Dave was still nervous, but knowing that Kurt was on his side and maybe in time by his side, made him feel a bit more confident. He no longer felt alone; no longer felt trapped being someone others hated and feared. Now, he could breathe, and as the music started, everything faded except for Kurt's beautiful face. Then he started to sing:
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And every day I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Send it straight to gold
I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'ma tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that will light those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away, all my secrets away
When Dave opened his eyes the room was quiet again. Like his secret, his voice had shocked everyone, but he didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He'd hoped that Mr. Schue had been right about him; that he could be one of the most talented guys at the school, but he couldn't read anything in the faces of the Gleeks except surprise. It was only when he looked at Kurt that he got his answer. Kurt was smiling. Wide-eyed and smiling; surprised, but pleasantly so. Then, slowly came the clapping. It started as that awkward clap that grows and grows until it was all-out applause.
"Wow…" he heard Mike whisper. Finn and Puck nodded, still unable to contain their surprise.
"Fine," said Santana, barely managing to conceal a grin, "so he can sing too."
As the applause died down and Dave went to take his seat he looked back at Kurt and saw him mouth: "I'm so proud of you!" Dave's heart fluttered as he took a seat behind the soprano and was received by a couple of pats on the back and Lauren giving him another "gentle" punch in the shoulder. I'll still need to earn their trust, but I think this is as good of a start as I could have hoped for, he thought to himself.
It had been about three days since Kurt had spoken to Blaine. They were still both using the "I'm really busy" excuse, but today he received a text from the Warbler asking to meet at the café.
You can bring Mercedes if you want. It'll be fun and I have someone I want you to meet. :)
The text from Blaine had made Kurt very uneasy, but he decided that he'd go anyway. Maybe it'll do me some good, he thought. His mind had been riddled with questions lately about his relationship with the Warbler and where it was ultimately going to end. Dave had been ery friendly and it seemed like he was fitting into the Glee club quite nicely. There were still moments of tension, but music seemed to solve all of the problems, even patching a bridge between David and his fellow jocks. Finn had even invited him to go bowling with him and the other Glee guys and said that they'd had a blast.
Kurt couldn't help but be happy for the jock, but he still felt apprehensive about getting to know him too well, or spending too much time with him outside of school. Azimio had taken the news that his best friend had committed social suicide a bit badly, but it turned out that Dave joining the Glee club gave him a bit of protection. After all, Mike, Puck, Finn and Sam were still on the football team with him and it was getting to be pretty common at McKinley to see people actually taking an interest in the club. The only downside had been the hockey team's reaction, but Azimio was having none of that and soon came around. Things seemed to finally be going good for Dave. Kurt couldn't help but smile when he saw how happy the jock was now, even if he couldn't be directly a part of it.
After getting the text from Blaine however, Kurt started to worry again. I'm sure it's Ethan, he thought to himself. He thought about how Blaine had gushed over the new Warbler a week ago. Now Kurt was sitting on his bed, fully clothed, not really ready to go through with it. I don't know why I'm so anxious. I mean this is Blaine. We're taking a break, but he'd never see anyone behind my back, Kurt rationalized, would he?
After a few more minutes of battling with himself, Kurt stood up and grabbed his bag to go. Mercedes had already planned to meet him there and he knew that he'd at least have her support. Absently Kurt looked to his nightstand where the watch was hidden before climbing the stairs and heading out of the door.
As he pulled up to the café, Kurt noticed Mercedes already there and she was talking to a tall blonde boy with sharp blue eyes. He was extremely beautiful with face that could have been chiseled from marble it looked so smooth and perfect. As he stepped out of his car and closed the door, Blaine walked up to Mercedes and the boy, motioning them over to a booth in the back. So that's Ethan, Kurt thought. He could see how Blaine could be smitten with the transfer student; he was gorgeous.
Kurt entered the café and immediately made for the booth he'd seen the others go to. His heart was beating fast and he cringed when he saw Blain lean over and whisper something into Ethan's ear, making the boy turn bright red and laugh. Mercedes didn't know what to think and instead she took a sip of her drink. When she saw Kurt coming over, her eyes lit up and she got up to hug him.
"Kurt!" Blaine said in a surprised voice. "I didn't even see you come in!" Blaine got up and hugged Kurt like it was natural; like they weren't on a break and he hadn't just been whispering into another boy's ears. Kurt half returned the hug, still quite upset. He put on as big a smile as he could muster and reached his hand across the table to the blonde boy.
"You must be Ethan," he said calmly, "I'm Kurt, Blaine's boyfriend. I've hear big things about you."
"Hi Kurt," Ethan replied shaking his hand firmly and flashing him a pearly white smile. "I've heard a lot about you too, though I heard you and Blaine were taking a break." Kurt could have imagined Blaine blushing and the hopeful tone in Ethan's voice, but somehow he doubted it. As he took the seat opposite Blaine and next to Mercedes, Blaine started the conversation:
"We were all just discussing the newest bit of gossip from McKinley," he said. There was a slight awkward tinge to his voice that Kurt couldn't place. "Kurt, why didn't you tell me that David Karofsky joined the Glee club? I would have thought you'd have fought tooth and nail against that after the prom fiasco last year."
Kurt stiffened. He'd forgotten to tell Blaine that little fact. He knew that the Warbler was convinced that David was unstable and a coward.
"He's changed," Kurt began. "He's even come out to his Dad."
"That's surprising. I thought he'd say 'I can't' and run away again," Blaine scoffed. Kurt frowned.
"That's not funny, Blaine," he said. "That was as much my fault as it his. I was pushing him to come out in front of the whole school, and on the most important night of the year. I would've said no too."
"I can't believe you're going to defend him," Blaine said in an exasperated voice. "Especially after he assaulted you. I mean, you can't really think he's changed that much, even if he did come out to his father. He's still hiding who he is, Kurt, and history always repeats itself. What do you think Mercedes?"
The group looked at the diva and she almost choked on her drink. "Um…" she sputtered, clearing her throat, "I think that Blaine has a point." She looked pleadingly at Kurt when she saw his betrayed expression. "Look, Kurt. I'm sorry, but I don't know Karofsky other than when he was bullying us. I've just barely gotten to see this side of him and while I hope it's genuine," she said earnestly, "I think that maybe if he's put under pressure again he'll go backwards."
Kurt looked offended.
"She's right Kurt," Blaine cut in. "I'm sure that there are rumors floating around about him already. What do you think will happen when they escalate? Do you really think that he has enough courage to keep being himself?"
"I know he will!" Kurt said with conviction.
"How?" Blaine challenged. "How can you possibly say that when you've seen him crack under pressure? You know he'll quit and withdraw back into his little closet. He'll probably tell everyone it was a joke and try to play it off."
"No he won't!" Kurt was fuming now. Where was this coming from? This wasn't the Blaine he knew.
"That's a bold statement," Blaine said getting angry too. "I know you want to help him, Kurt, but you have to be realistic: guys like him thrive off of being popular. They need to be accepted by everyone else top feel good about themselves."
Mercedes and Ethan looked at each other nervously. It was clear to both of them that David Karofsky was a sore topic between the two boyfriends.
"David isn't like that anymore," Kurt said defensively. "And I don't see him as a charity case or a project, Blaine. He's my friend. I know he'll be strong because I've got his back. Even Finn and the other jock-gleeks can see the change. He's not afraid anymore. He's got us now. He's got me. I can't believe you would begrudge someone that is trying to accept himself for who he is."
"And I can't believe you would so willingly side with the boy who attacked you!" Blaine countered.
"But," Mercedes said, daring to cut in. "Karofsky hasn't done anything to Kurt since last year before he and Santana started the Bully Whips."
"Exactly!" Kurt exclaimed, feeling a rush of appreciation towards his best friend. "No slushie facials, locker checks, or anything. He hasn't even bullied anyone else either."
"Maybe he has changed," Mercedes said. "Kurt's right about all of that stuff. He's even kept the other jocks from bullying."
"That's all well and good," Blaine said, waving off the comment. "but I'm not talking about that stuff. I'm talking about him forcing himself upon you and shoving his tongue down your throat, or did you forget about that?"
Kurt was speechless, an outraged look etched on his face.
"What?" Mercedes said, her voice rising. "What the HELL are you talking about?" She rounded on Kurt. "How come you never told me about this? He did that to you?"
Kurt felt and looked positively betrayed. How could Blaine use that against him? He'd promised never to tell anyone else and now here he was practically screaming it in a crowded café.
"How could you?" Kurt hissed. "You said you wouldn't mention that to anyone!"
"I-I'm sorry, Kurt," Blaine said, his voice dying. "I just care so much about you. I don't want you to get hurt again."
"Well good job, Blaine!" Kurt said bolting up from the table. "I think we should just make it official. You're not the same person I thought you were," Kurt said, his eyes shining with tears and his voice cracking. "We're through…" he said, his voice fizzling out into a whisper. And with that Kurt rushed away from the table and out of the café, leaving a stunned crowd staring after him.
(Song: Secrets by OneRepublic) Whew! Well, there was certainly a lot going on in this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think, and look forward to the next installment of SY! XOXO
~Jay
