I've got a question Have you learned your lesson
Cause you left me quessing last time
The first time I met you I was
Instantly drawn to
what soon found out that your fake.
And I was just wonderin
Why you left me stumblin
When my, whole world came tumblin right down
Im fatefully broken from a
New life you've chosen
Well I guess im done hoping for this
The song echoed in Bella's room. She sat on the couch in her room, holding her knees up to her chest. She stared blankly at the wall before burying her head in her hands. She couldn't take her mind off of what had just happened in the music room. She had kissed him, and she liked it. That was the part that scared her. She truly liked what had happened between them. But, he lied to her. They all lied to her. She had known him and from what she could tell from these flashes of memory, he had hurt her. She was so confused. Feelings that she had tried to ignore were surfacing. So many emotions were stirring within her. She was angry, hurt, confused, ashamed, embarrased, and…sad. She really did like what had happened. She felt at home for a brief while. She felt safe in his arms. She loved the feeling. But he LIED to her.
Her heart was torn. She felt it shatter further when she thought of her family. What were they going to think? Would they hate her? She had just kissed their brother and son. She felt her entire world crash around her. Just for a kiss. She didn't know what to do.
Little did she know that downstairs, Edward was almost just as torn as her.
He paced in the living room. What have I done? He thought. He just hurt Bella…again. How was it, that everytime he tried to do something to help her, he ended up hurting her? It was partly why he had left in the first place. He wanted Bella happy and safe. He loved her. He loved her so much it hurt.
He didn't know how long he was in the living room before he decided what he had to do. He had to tell her the truth. Maybe, she would forgive him and try to remember. Maybe, she would fall in love again.
He climbed the stairs at human pace. Every step brought him closer to her. He wanted to hold her again. He tried not to think about that though. He tried to concentrate on the task at hand. He had to control himself. Easier said than done.
He reached her door. He heard the hum of a song ending. He smiled. He remembered when she would get angry, upset, …sad, she would go to her room and put on some comfort music. He did just the same thing. He mustered every ounce of confidence he had, and knocked on her door.
Of course Bella had allready heard him at her door before he knocked. She made her way to the door and opened it slowly, taking in a big breath. There stood Edward. Still the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. Her breath caught in her throat. What made him have this power over her? He looked strait into her soul with those golden eyes. All she wanted at that moment was to be with him. All of her anger was gone when she saw the sadness in his eyes.
"Bella, I…I'm sorry I…we lied to you. We didn't want to hurt you. I'm so…so sorry about all of this." He hung his head.
"It's okay. I'm just really confused about all of this. Here, come in. It is awkward standing in the hallway like this." She motioned for him to come into her room. They walked over to her couch and sat down. She put her legs underneth her. He sat on the edge, facing her.
"I wasn't so mad that you all lied to me, it was more of what I saw in my 'memories.' I want to remember what happened before I was turned. But maybe…maybe it is better if I don't. From what I could tell, I hurt a lot in the last year of my life. But, from what else I saw, I had been truly happy…with you. And what happened in the music room…it scared me. I was scared of how I felt, of how I'm feeling. Half of me wants to remember, the other…is still afraid of what is going to happen if I do." She sighed and looked down at her figiting hands.
"Do you think it would…it would be better if I told you some of the truth?" Edward asked causiously.
"I don't know. I mean…I want to know the truth."
"Okay. I'll tell you of how we met, okay? Then, after that, you can tell me if you want to hear more. Does that work for you?"
"Yes." Bella nodded. She was still afraid though. Those memories…they hurt her so much. She could feel some of the feelings from them. The most prominent was one where he had told her that they were leaving. It felt like someone had ripped a huge hole right in the middle of her. She didn't know how she could have possibly handled it when she was human.
"Okay, where to begin. Well, you moved to Forks to live with your father. His name was Charlie. You wanted you mother to be able to have some time with her new husband, your stepfather. On your first day of school, you were the object of every boys affection. I first saw you in the lunch room…" He stopped for a moment. He remembered that day. A small smile crept onto his face. He missed those days.
"You had to be the most beautiful creature I had ever seen," Bella smiled. "I was so confused. I can read minds, but I couldn't hear you. You looked at me and I could hardly contain myself. But the thing about it was, I only thought about you as a silly human. One who would make a great meal." Bella knew what he meant. She was only in her fifth year of being a vampire. Sometimes, she would come across a human who she wanted. But most of the other times, she didn't smell them. Carlise thought that it might have been because she hated blood when she was human, or so he told her.
"Later on that day, you came into my Biology class. I smelled you and that was it. I almost went crazy. The only thing that kept me from killing you right then was Carlise. The thought of disappointing him was too much. After an hour and a half of the best self-control I had ever had, I dashed out of the room. I tried to switch my classes but that didn't work. I left to come here for a while. I figured that running away wasn't the answer so I came back. After that, I tried to be nice to you. I saved you from a brutal car accident, and that is when I knew." Edward looked strait into her eyes.
"Knew what?" Bella asked, thinking she might allready know the answer, for she had remembered a bit more of what he was telling her.
"That I loved you."
Okay so it isn't the longest, or BEST chapter in my opinion but at least I updated. I felt weird writing this. Oh and I know Bella forgave him really quick but come on, she's scared. She just wants to know the truth. And plus, its EDWARD for goodness sake. Id forgive him too.
It was really repetative from Twilight to me. I felt like I was trying to write from CONFESSIONS. Which is the chapter in Twilight when Edward expains stuff to Bella. I don't like doing it. I am not Stephanie! But anyways, please review or pm me. I am deciding on an ending, which isn't for a few chapters but it is coming sooner or later. Tell me whether you want a happy or sad one.
Read and Review!!
