The air was cold outside when I stepped out of the train, at last at my station. I guess it was fitting since I felt pretty damn cold inside as well. The worst decision of my life hung before me, taunting me. An inescapable problem. On one hand I crush the dreams of a dedicated and passionate musician much more deserving of winning than our pitiful SOS Brigade. On the other hand another passionate person (Passionate for all the wrong reasons I might add...) will no doubt sink into depression and hurt many more people in the process...

It probably sounds like an easy choice right? Forsake the few for the needs of the many as they say. But I don't want to forsake anyone! I'd be a little less hesitant if it was simply a stranger off the street, but Mio is...

Hmm...

What is Mio to me? We've only known each other for a day and yet I feel like I've known her for years. We may have endured some awkward unpleasantness in our short time knowing each other but we've become good friends since then.

I may not know everything about her, but I'm certain of one thing. Mio wears her heart on her sleeve. She's so kind she would invite a convicted killer into her house for a cup of tea. In fact she's so kind she would let a stranded fool she barely knows into her home because she couldn't bear to see him sleep on the streets. She comes across as an independent girl but really she's only hiding behind a mask.

It was the secret shame she had revealed to me that last long night. She pushes herself too far, only to become stranded and need to be led by the hand back to her comfort zone. Mio herself is aware of her insecurities but constantly strives to hide it, to stow away her doubts and fears so that she can feel strong...

The band, the music, it serves as her shield. It is the caring hands that lead her ever onward and pick back up her up when she falls. It's her lifeline...

It's her life.

Mio is innocent in all of this. So why the hell do I have to spit on her dreams?!

There has to be another way!

While I contemplated this I took the long way home. Even the short way is a long walk, but I couldn't care less. This puzzle would take some time to solve. I can spare the time.

The sky is no longer blue, assuming a much less appetising grey hue. It's probably going to rain and I probably shouldn't have taken the extra-long way back...

Whatever.

I try my best to think of a solution, but every time I feel like I'm close to the answer my mind goes blank. God damn it! Why is this so hard?! How could it end up like this?

If only Haruhi could take a loss, not as a crushing defeat, but as an incentive to try harder and to better herself. Maybe then the world wouldn't be in danger so much. If only she could apply herself to something for more than a simple trial run and just stick with it instead of wandering aimlessly day by day just sampling every little thing the world has to offer. I mean what's going to happen, Haruhi, when you've done everything? When every mountain has been climbed, every skill mastered, every sport played, every ability honed to perfection...What will you do then?

Start a new world from scratch and start from the beginning again? Or will you just stop trying? No, I know you too well Haruhi. You would never stop trying. Perfect isn't good enough, you have to be better than perfect and then even better than that.

But I don't care about any of that. You're good enough as you are. Why can't you just settle down and be happy with what you have instead of constantly running ahead of everybody else?

Geez, why am I even having this conversation? With myself no less! Besides, to Haruhi, the words 'calm down' or 'settle' are nothing but ill omens to be avoided like the plague. The only difference is that a quarter of Europe wasn't wiped out by being level-headed.

Nonetheless, Haruhi wouldn't quit anything, ever for as long as she lives. Which leaves only one path to travel at this point. A disgusting, shame-ridden path I'd preferably not travel.

But like always, I'll just complain quietly by myself and walk down the dreaded path anyway.

It's not like I can travel back in time and convince Haruhi to try salsa dancing instead of starting a band. It's not like I can just go against her wishes and fight against whatever may come, nor can I simply alter the world around me to make sure everything goes well without getting my hands dirty. I'm just a normal human being stuck far out of my league in the SOS Brigade. I'm the pawn amongst all those better chess pieces that can move more than one space and in different directions. Sure they can skirt around any problems, but all I can do is keep moving blindly forward...

It was some time until I noticed Nagato's apartment block looming over the smaller houses around it. Even from two blocks away it stood out. Since I was already there, it couldn't hurt to stop by for a visit.


The buzzer made me jump in alarm, quite stupid really, since I'm the one who pressed the button, though the electrical hiss was indeed startlingly loud in the otherwise sombre quietude of the neighbourhood. Instinctively I glanced down at the speaker on the console, expecting Nagato to ask who was expecting her.

Despite the silence I could tell Nagato was there. Her silence always felt different from any other silence. Or maybe I'm just crazy? Yeah that's a safer bet...

"Uh...It's me, Kyon."

"..."

The door opened.

Having made this trip so many times in the past it was no trouble finding Nagato's room. Knocking out of habit I stepped back as almost instantly the door was drawn open, as if she had been waiting with her hand on the handle the whole time anticipating my knock.

Yuki greeted me with her usual cheerful wave and a hug, dancing about like an excited puppy. Yeah right! She stared at me, without blinking, the tiny line of her mouth just perceptibly shifting between the millimetre wide gap between a straight face and a smile. Without saying anything, she simply stepped inside, an obvious enough cue to say 'Come in' without the unnecessary excess of words. I'm not sure why, but I felt a little disappointed that she hadn't said anything. The way Haruhi reacted to me missing for just a day made me wonder what the others must have been thinking. Seeing Haruhi panicking like she must have been, they probably thought I was dead...

I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I had a week off...

"So...Hi." I tried to break the ice, but instead just bounced off, looking awkward and stupid.

"..." Don't worry, her silence is normal.

"I...I'm sorry I was out of contact for a while. I was out of town."

"..." A vague nod followed. Not a big noticeable one, but a definite movement of her head since her hair bounced a tiny bit. For such minimal movement it was kind of cute.

"So yeah...I'm sorry for making you worry." said whilst scratching my head despite not having an itch.

"I wasn't worried."

Well that was blunt.

"Haruhi Suzumiya was worried."

"I know, she called me earlier and had a fit."

"She is still worried."

"Why?"

"You were not here." she replied, as if it were that simple an answer.

"I know..."

"I see."

Maybe I shouldn't have come to Nagato for answers.

"I suppose I should apologise to her tomorrow."

"Yes."

Another silence. Yeah, I definitely shouldn't have come here with the expectation of having a conversation. But, while I'm here I might as well ask..."

"So, how has band practice been going?"

"Haruhi Suzumiya is distressed. She lacks direction."

"Well, doesn't she always?"

Yuki shook her head, rather obviously this time. That was a surprise.

"You were not here."

This again? I already know that! How could I not be aware of myself being out of town?!

"You were not here. So she was distressed."

"Oh...Alright then. Well I better get going. It's kind of late...See you tomorrow Nagato."

"..." Though her lips didn't so much as quiver, her hand jerked in some kind of reflex action, almost as if she wanted to reach out and grab me, but her hand simply moved a fraction of a centimetre out and to the side. I pretended not to notice and left, closing the door behind me with a sigh.

Even for Nagato that was awkward. It had been a long time since I'd felt so out of place around her. But why? Over the course of our time in the SOS Brigade I had come to somewhat understand the enigma of Yuki Nagato. I had begun to notice her ways of expressing herself, slowly uncovering her secrets. I had become comfortable around her, even depended on her at times.

So why now? Why did it feel so odd?

It feels like ever since the train-ride home the world has been falling apart at the seams...

I sure as Hell hope that I'm wrong about that!


The rest of the walk home was made all the more depressing with more questions looming in my mind. What do I do about this battle of the bands? How should I apologise to Haruhi? Why was Nagato being so...slightly stranger than usual? What will I do about Mio? Why was Haruhi so upset?

Question after question simply swirled around in a confusing mess making it more complex to try and solve them. I had a headache by the time I reached my street, feeling unimaginably relieved to finally be so close to home.

That long way home turned out to be way too long as night had fallen already. As I approached my house, something caught my eye. Standing beneath one of the street-lights, a thin shadow lay in wait outside my home.

Squinting did nothing to help make out the silhouette bathed in the light. It wasn't until I had gotten a little closer that I could make out the North High uniform. A girl's uniform.

Stepping closer again revealed a yellow ribbon in her hair. That was the only clue I needed.

Haruhi.

But...Why was she waiting outside my house at this hour?

My sluggish and overtly loud footsteps made the diffused firecracker flinch, stumbling away from the street-light and towards the bushes in our front yard. There was no point warning her since her foot had already become caught on the low stone wall while her body kept on moving back. Even Haruhi could not control gravity (Yet...) and so she tumbled helplessly into the garden amidst a fit of curses and noises that I'm quite certain should have come from zoo animals and not high school girls.

I probably could have just slinked away if I had a mind to, but my laughter gave me away.

A lion snarled from within my garden, scrambling about like a turtle on its back.

For Christ's sake...You really are helpless aren't you?

"I-I'm not helpless! Stay back! I can stand up just fine on my own!" said Haruhi while her legs flailed about haphazardly like a pair of living sock puppets over the garden wall. She tried to perform a half sit-up, half reverse somersault, only to find herself remaining stuck in the bushes.

I extended a hand, trying to focus on finding purchase with her own flailing limbs as opposed to her obliviously flipped skirt. Dammit, stop flinging your legs like that! I can see your panties-

"Oof!"

I'd seen many unfortunate victims succumb to Haruhi's wild kicks, I found out then what it truly felt like to cop her boot to the face. And yes, it does hurt! So much so that I collapsed into the gutter in much the same position as Haruhi with my legs bent up in the air as if in labour. Though I think childbirth would be a little less painful than Haruhi's grounded flying dragon kick. Suffice to say that I had felt shock-waves ripple through my skull, the pain surging in a wave from one side of my face to the other.

"Kyon?! Kyon I told you to stay back didn't I? It's your own fault for not listen- Uh oh!"

That's reassuring...

"Oh crap, is that...Are you bleeding?"

Huh?

Is that what that foul taste on the tip of my tongue is from? Is that the cause of that sickly sweet sensation coursing down from my nostrils? Take a note: never get in a fight with Haruhi, she gives new meaning to the term, 'kicking ass'! Anyway a quick brush of the hand against my face confirmed Haruhi's fear. The sight of my own blood wasn't too much of a shock. I'd seen a whole lot more once before. But then being stabbed is a bit different from being kicked in the face isn't it?

Nonetheless, I think this one tops the pain list. At least you go into shock when you're stabbed...

"I'm sorry! A-Are you ok?"

Yeah, I'm fine; I just like to bleed out a little on cool nights like this. You should try it some time.

Her face scrunched up into some expression I had never seen from her ever before. I think it was...Yes it was definitely...Concern for someone other than herself! I guess I should feel lucky.

"Oh no, you're delirious! You might have a concussion! Quick! Let's get you inside!"

Sure. Just give me a minute to remember how to stand and walk again. I think my brain was knocked upside down from the impact. Actually...Just give me a minute to...To close my eyes and...

Black out...


An unexpected homecoming present...Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next update may take a while since I'll be busy all of November with NaNoWriMo. But hopefully I can get the next chapter finished by the end of the month. Till then, I hope you enjoyed this tasty little morsel.

Remember to review, it helps a lot more than you think it does!