Chapter 8

Piper walked out of the bar after Fahri left and headed straight back to the hospital, picking up a coffee and sandwich for Diane on the way. She kept running Fahri's words through her head, the fact that Alex had been forced to shoot Aiden, that she'd ended up killing him. Piper was desperate to talk to Alex about all of it, but she knew it wasn't possible yet. Besides, she wasn't sure how much Alex would want Diane to know, Piper needed to wait until she had Alex alone.

She walked back to Alex's bed and handed the coffee and sandwich to Diane, "Thanks sweetie."

Piper sat next to Alex's bed and was so happy to see the brunette open her eyes, "Hey Al, do you need anything?"

Alex shook her head, her voice was still strained, but each word was deliberate, "No, just you."

"I'm not going anywhere, you have no chance of getting rid of me Vause."

Piper could see her girlfriend's lips pull into a smile under the oxygen mask, and kissed her on the cheek.

"You need to keep resting Al."

But there was one question Alex needed to ask, "Is Charlie okay?"

"Yeah, Nicky's looking after her. I'll bring her in once you're feeling better."

"I miss her."

Piper could Alex's eyes starting to close again as she drifted back to sleep. It all made Piper love her even more, even in this situation, Alex was worried about their daughter more than anything else.

Diane seemed to notice the change on Piper's face, "She was so worried about being a shitty mum, but she was always gonna put that kid before everything else."

Piper agreed with Diane, she never doubted how much Alex would love their child. But she was pulled out of her thoughts by what Diane said next.

"I deserve to know what happened Piper, she's my daughter."

Piper felt so conflicted, Diane had done so much for her, and she wanted to tell her everything. But she knew Alex had always tried to shield her mum from everything to do with the cartel.

"Please Piper, I need to know what happened. All I want to do is help her."

Both Piper and Diane thought Alex was asleep, but they both heard her voice and saw the silent tears roll down her cheeks.

"Mum..."

Diane moved closer to the bed and pushed the hair from Alex's face, "You're meant to be sleeping."

"You'll hate me."

Diane could see how desperate Alex was to stay awake and keep talking.

"I could never hate you."

Alex's breathing was becoming more laboured as she kept fighting off sleep, but she was also getting upset.

"C'mon baby, you need to rest, I'll still be here when you wake up."

But Alex was feeling defiant, and kept shaking her head. After a few more moments, she managed to speak again.

"I couldn't do it mum."

Diane wasn't sure what to say and kept running her fingers through Alex's hair, trying to help her relax.

"I couldn't kill her."

Those words made Piper jump out of her seat, and Diane spoke again.

"What do you mean Alex?"

"He killed both of them. Then... Then he tried to kill me."

Diane and Piper could see the brunette desperately trying to keep her eyes open, and they were both worried about what she was saying.

"Don't leave..."

Diane kept running her fingers through Alex's long dark hair and kissed her cheek.

"I'm not leaving baby."

Alex finally gave into her exhaustion and closed her eyes.

Diane looked towards Piper on the other side of the bed, "Do you know what she's talking about."

Piper was still so shocked, she just stood there and shook her head. Then she felt her anger again, Fahri had lied to her.

0-0-0-0-0

Alex woke up again a few hours later when a nurse came to give her another dose of pain relief. Piper and Diane were still there, and Diane was desperate for Alex to tell her more.

"Do you remember what you were saying before?"

"Yeah..."

"What the hell did they do to you Alex?"

Diane started to get frustrated when Alex didn't say anything.

"I need to know baby, you need to tell me."

Alex groaned as she tried to take a deep breath, "My boss, he tried to make me kill someone. But she was just a kid mum..."

Diane wiped away her daughter's tears.

"Aiden wanted to kill me..."

Alex's eyes closed again as the medicine kicked in, Piper could see how worried and confused Diane was, she realised she owed Diane the truth. Piper managed to convince the older woman to take a walk with her, and told her about calling Fahri and the information he gave her.

"But he never said anything about trying to make her kill someone. I don't know what's really going on."

Both women were sitting on a park bench near the hospital, worried and confused.

"I don't like being kept in the dark Piper, especially when it comes to Alex."

"I know, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Diane turned to face the blonde, "How would you feel if you had to watch Charlotte go through something like this?"

The thought made Piper's stomach churn, "It would kill me."

"Ever since she got involved with these fucking people, I feel like she's pushed me away."

Piper reached out and grabbed Diane's hand, "She's just trying to protect you."

"Well it's not working, is it?"

Piper shook her head.

"I just wanna look after my kid Piper. I wanna know what she's gotten herself into and I want her to be safe. Im so tired of seeing her hurt, of never knowing what's really going on in her life. We never used to have secrets, never."

Diane stared ahead blankly and kept talking, " I know why you didn't tell me, but it's not good enough anymore."

"I'm sorry Diane."

"I don't want to see her end up in jail, or dead, I just want her to have a normal life."

0-0-0-0-0

Time was going by so slowly, but Alex kept fighting every day. Every day, the brunette improved, and Piper was thankful for all of it, no matter how small. Even if it was just being awake for an extra 20 minutes, or needing one less dose of pain relief, Piper was thankful. It was another three days before Dr Russell let Alex leave the ICU and go to a regular ward. He said it might be another two weeks before Alex could go home, which felt like an eternity to Piper. It made Piper think about all those nights she'd spent alone while Alex was travelling, or when she had to work all night. She knew how hard the brunette had tried to extract herself from the cartel so that they could have a normal life, and Piper was so sure that's exactly why Alex had ended up here, in hospital. It was so frustrating, it was almost agonising. They had to live with danger if Alex stayed in the cartel, and Alex risked being killed if she tried to get out.

Nicky kept telling the blonde that she needed to focus on one day at a time, but Piper hated it. She wanted to plan her future with Alex, there was so much to look forward to. Things like picking a school for Charlotte, having another baby one day, moving into a house, family holidays, Piper wanted it all, and she didn't want to compromise. Most of all, she wanted Alex to stop feeling guilty, Piper could see it in her eyes every single day. Piper felt like Alex had saved her from her life with Jack, when she felt like she had absolutely nothing left. Alex had looked after her and protected her through all of it, now Piper was determined to do the same. She would look after Alex, and protect her as much as she could. She had to start believing there was a way out of this, she needed to have something to look forward to. Piper had to believe that her family had a chance.

It was the second day since Alex had been moved out of the ICU, and Piper wanted to bring Charlotte to visit her. Alex wouldn't be able to hold her daughter properly, but Piper knew how much she'd missed her. Alex's progress was still slow, but at least it was something. She was off antibiotics and oxygen, but pain was still an issue.

Diane, Piper and Charlotte all walked into Alex's room together, Alex hadn't seen her daughter since the day of the accident. The brunette was sleeping, but woke up as soon as she felt Piper's hand on her arm and heard her voice.

"Hey Al, someone's here to see you."

Alex smiled widely as soon as she saw her little girl. Her voice still sounded tired, "Hi Charlie, I've missed you so much."

Piper leaned down to kiss her girlfriend, she couldn't wait until Alex was home with her again. Alex then turned her attention to Diane, grabbing her hand, "Hi mum."

"Hi baby, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, just tired."

Diane and Piper decided to wait until Alex was feeling better before asking her more about what happened that night. Not knowing and having to wait was agonising, but they both knew there was no point pushing Alex for more information before she was ready.

Diane kissed her daughter on the cheek and sat down next to the bed, "You should be home in a couple of weeks."

Alex knew that Diane wanted to know exactly what happened, but she was struggling to find the right words, "Mum, I promise I'll tell you everything."

"I know sweetie."

Piper wanted to break the tension and slowly lowered Charlotte onto the bed so she was lying in the crook of Alex's arm. The little girl had just woken up from a nap, and smiled as soon as she saw Alex.

Alex tucked the baby into her arm and pulled her in close, "I really did miss you kid, I love you."

Piper took a moment to just appreciate the scene in front of her, she could see all the emotion in Alex's face, she knew how guilty the brunette felt about what happened.

Alex kept running her fingers through Charlotte's hair, which only made her smile more, "Has she been sleeping much?"

"She's been restless the last few nights, but it hasn't affected her appetite. You've been a life saver Diane."

"Like I'd ever say no to spending more time with my grand kid."

Alex smiled and kept her focus on Charlotte's bright blue eyes, "I don't want to miss any more time with her."

Diane squeezed her daughters hand again, "You won't."

Alex felt like it was time to have an honest conversation with both Piper and Diane. She'd put them through hell, the least she could do was tell the the truth.

"I hate what I've put both of you through. I keep fucking up, I've put you guys through so much, you don't deserve any of it."

Piper tried to speak but Alex cut her off, "It's true Pipes, and now with the baby, I need to find a way to end all of this bulshit."

"Al, me and your mum just want you to focus on getting better."

"I know, but this is something I need to sort out, otherwise this shit will keep happening. And I don't want Charlotte growing up in this sort of environment. I don't want her to ever know about this part of my life, I don't want her to be ashamed of me, and I couldn't live with myself if I ever put her in danger."

Alex look across at her mum and took her hand, "I'm sorry mum." She didn't know what else to say, and her emotions were so mixed up, she still felt so tired. Alex felt like every time she tried to make things better, she just ended up making it worse. And she knew how much Diane had hated her job from the very start.

"You don't need to apologise to me Alex."

"How can you say that? Back when all this started, you begged me not to get involved with these guys, but I did it anyway."

Alex was speaking through her tears, she needed to be honest with Diane, she didn't want anymore secrets between them. Not now that things had gotten so bad.

"I'm so sorry mum, I'm such a fuck up." Alex tried to get her emotions under control and pulled Charlotte in closer to her.

Diane moved her hand to Alex's arm, "That's not what I think, I know how hard you're trying baby."

"But it's not enough, it's not enough..."

Piper leaned over the bed and kissed the brunette on the lips, "We love you so much Al. I know you might not believe us right now, but we don't think you're a fuck up, we think you're fucking amazing. You gave me a second chance at life, don't forget that. You saved me, both of you, I wouldn't be here without you."

Alex closed her eyes and tried to focus, she needed to keep remembering how far they'd all come. But she also wanted to be honest with both women about what happened the previous Friday night. She was so tired of keeping secrets, she was starting to realise that she couldn't do this alone, she needed their support. But she was so worried about Diane's reaction. Her mum never knew much about life in the cartel, and she had no idea how Diane would react to the truth.

"I want to tell both of you what happened."

Alex knew her mum deserved the truth. To be honest, life had gotten to a point where she wanted to tell Diane what happened, she needed that support. She'd always thought she was in control, at least to a certain extent, but not anymore. Now, she had no idea what to do or how to fix things. But she was so worried that Diane wouldn't even be able to look at her if she knew the truth.

"Please mum, I need to know that you'll still be here. I've never really told you much about work, please don't hate me..."

Diane leaned in closer and kissed her daughter on the cheek, "I'm not going anywhere baby, no matter what you tell me."

Diane took a moment to just hold Alex, it was the easiest way to let her know that she'd always stand by her, "Let me look after you for once Alex."

"You've spent your whole life looking after me mum."

"Hey, that's my job. And it's your job now with Charlie. It doesn't matter how old she gets or what she does, it'll always be your job to look out for her."

Alex looked back down at Charlotte, who was cuddled into her side. Then she finally worked up the courage to start talking. She asked Piper to close the door to the room, and kept her voice low.

"My boss was having trouble with a new group selling in the city. He...he wanted them dead."

Diane stayed silent, trying to take in Alex's words, she wanted to let her daughter finish talking.

"The night it happened, I was with another guy, Aiden. We were meant to do the job together. But I couldn't do it, they were just kids, that could've been me. I've had a lot of issues with Aiden, he's given me a hard time."

Diane sat there, clenching her jaw, she didn't know how to respond.

"He killed those kids like he didn't even care. I knew I had to get out of there, so I pointed my gun at him, I just needed to get out. But there were no fucking bullets in the gun he gave me, he fucking planned it. Then he turned his gun on me. I tried to get it away from him, I shot him, and he shot me."

Piper hated listening to those words, but she was glad to finally know the full story. Part of her wanted to talk to Fahri again, but she knew it would probably be a waste of time.

"I got in my car and drove away, someone must've found me on the street and called the cops. That's the last thing I remember before waking up in the hospital."

Piper sat there, not sure whether she should tell Alex that Aiden was dead.

"I need to talk to Fahri, I need to know what the fuck is going on, if I killed Aiden..."

Alex's anxiety was rising and Diane kept trying to calm her down. Alex handed the baby to Piper and started running her hands through her hair, anxiety was getting the better of her."

"I didn't wanna kill anyone that night, fuck!"

Diane took Alex's face in her hands, forcing the brunette to look at her, "Listen to me baby, you did what you needed to survive. You have a family to think about now."

Alex was crying by this point, "He had a family too."

"He tried to kill you Alex! He set you up, he killed those two kids, you didn't do anything wrong. Are you listening to me?"

Alex tried to catch her breath and nodded. She knew Diane was probably right, but she still didn't know how to feel about what she did.

Piper then realised she needed to tell Alex the truth.

"I spoke to Fahri."

But Alex didn't even react, letting Diane help her calm down, hugging her.

Piper shifted Charlotte in her arms and put a hand on Alex's shoulder, "Listen to me Al, I spoke to Fahri."

Alex finally seemed to hear her, Piper thought she'd be angry, but she just sounded worried, "Is Aiden dead?"

"Yes, but they're not angry at you for doing it, they know you didn't have a choice."

Alex lay back down slowly, and Piper placed Charlotte back on the bed next to her.

"Al, are you okay?"

But the brunette didn't respond, leaning in closer to Charlotte and kissing the top of her head.

A/N

Hey folks, apologies for the delay, my brain has been mush this week, so tired.

Let me know your thoughts on Chapter 8 - good or bad that Alex opened up and told Diane and Piper the truth?

Cheers.