I own none of the characters of Bones

Booth's POV

I slowly wheeled myself into Bones' apartment, my new home. I noticed that she had moved some things around, obviously to make room for my chair to get around. I was surprised to see my recliner in her living room since we had agreed to sublet my apartment fully furnished since I wouldn't be using it anytime soon. She must have seen me looking at the chair.

"I know how much you love that chair so I had it brought over. I hope that it will help you feel more at home here." She told me softly.

"Thanks." I mumbled. I noticed that she had brought a few other things from my apartment placed throughout her living room to help me feel comfortable. My gaze traveled to the middle of the living room where I saw what really made me feel at home. Attached to a wall was the biggest flat screen TV that I had ever seen. Using Parker's favorite word, it was gimungous. I wheeled myself over to the wall and reached up and ran my fingers across the bottom of the screen, the only part that I could reach.

"Bones she's beautiful."

"She? Booth it's a television not a human being."

"I thought that you hated television."

"I don't hate it. I just find it unproductive. I bought it for you."

"Bones you shouldn't have. It must of cost a pretty penny."

"I also purchased a video game system that Jack recommended and installed." She walked over to a closet and pulled out Guitar Hero. This woman never ceased to blow my mind. "Jack told me that this game was one of the most popular games out there and from what I've seen and read it looks like it will help Parker develop his hand and eye coordination." Of course she would consider that. "I also purchased a couple of age appropriate games for him and Jack picked up a few that you might enjoy. If you look at the games and decide that you don't like them I'll be happy to return them and find you something else."

"I'll pay you back for this."

"Consider it a gift Booth. I want you and Parker to feel at home here."

"It's a pretty damn expensive gift."

"There's no price on friendship." I couldn't help but smile. That was a great answer. "I was hoping that you would go to the grocery store later with me so we can purchase some items that Parker will eat since I have no idea what a little boy his age likes."

"He's a kid Bones. He likes everything that's not good for him." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah I'll go with you."

"Great thank you. Maybe we can go after you settle in and rest." I nodded. "So can I show you around?"

"I've been here before."

"But just in the kitchen and living room. You need to see where you'll be sleeping." She began to walk away from me. I noticed that she avoided saying my bedroom, probably so I wouldn't be reminded that my presence in her home had made her turn her life upside down because of me. I followed her down the hall to the last bedroom on the left. When she opened the door I stared in shock. "This is Parker's room." She said proudly. The room was painted and decorated with sports memorabilia.

"Bones this is amazing."

"Rebecca told me that Parker was really into all sports right now. I had no idea what to buy so Angela and I went shopping and she picked out everything and painted the room. Do you think he'll like it?" She asked me nervously.

"He'll love it Bones. He really will." I saw her visibly relax.

"Okay now your room." I followed her again back the way we came. "I'll be sleeping in the room right across from you so if you ever need anything all you have to do is yell." I nodded in agreement and she opened the door to my new room. I slowly wheeled myself in and for the third time today I was shocked by what she had done.

I saw that she had brought my television from my living room and placed it in my room. My comforter set that was on my bed in my apartment was now on her bed or my bed now. I wheeled over to the bedside table and looked at the pictures she had placed there. She must have taken my pictures from my apartment and brought them here. I wonder what went through her mind when she packed these up. I never came out and said that I treasured my friendship with squints but I actually consider them some of the greatest friends that I have ever had. I imagine that she must have been surprised to find a 5 x 7 photograph of all of my squints, including myself and Bones and a charity function when we were all dressed to kill. It's one of my favorites but I wonder what she thought when she saw my favorite photograph that I had placed behind my alarm clock so her beautiful face was the first thing I saw every morning. It was a picture of the two of us from that same night with our arms around each other's waist smiling into the camera. I placed it behind the alarm clock again and headed over to my dresser. I'm assuming that she bought this dresser just for me because it wasn't as high as a normal dresser so I could easily reach all of the drawers. In fact it was just like the one I had at the rehab center. On top of my dresser, she had placed all of my pictures of Parker.

"If you don't like where something is, please feel free to move it."

"Everything is perfect Bones."

"I hope you don't mind but I put all of your clothes in the dresser. I also had a lower rod placed in the closet and hung up your suits."

"I'm not going to be needing my suits." I snapped.

"The bathroom is through that door. I measured and your chair will fit inside with room to spare."

"Thanks Bones. Look if you don't mind I really would like to take a nap. All this excitement has left me tired." I lied. I wasn't really tired. I just wanted to be alone.

"Of course. Do you need any help?" I knew she was trying to help but it pissed me off.

"I'm fine."

"Okay. Yell if you need anything." I nodded and wheeled myself into the bathroom. A minute later I heard the door shut and I returned to the bedroom.

I hated that my state of mind caused me to be pissed off at everything Bones was trying to do for me instead of being grateful to that wonderful woman. Even when I was in the bathroom and I saw the shower that she had installed for me, instead of being happy I was infuriated, not with her but with myself. For being in this position, for allowing myself to become so weak and helpless but I couldn't stop it. Every time I saw her or anyone else for that matter walking around on two good legs I was reminded that mine don't work and I'll never be the man that I once was. I pulled myself out of my chair on onto the bed. I knew I had to change my attitude or Bones would throw me out on my paralyzed ass so I hoped that a short nap would help adjust my attitude.

Bones' POV

I flopped down on the couch and sighed in frustration. He was so happy at first, especially when he saw the TV but I saw the happiness quickly fade into the frustration that had become a common occurrence since the shooting. Maybe I tried too hard. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. All I want is for him to be happy, here with me but instead of making him happy I probably pissed him off.

After thirty minutes of pointless stewing I headed to the kitchen to start dinner. I knew he loved macaroni and cheese and I wanted that to be his first home cooked meal. As I was mixing my ingredients I hoped that this wouldn't piss him off as well but if it did, tough shit. He didn't have to eat it. Once my dish was baking I whipped up a batch of chocolate pudding, another one of his favorites, and finished the meal off by putting together a salad, something he probably wouldn't eat. As I set the table I laughed at myself when I pulled out every kind of salad dressing imaginable because when I was shopping I had no idea what kind of salad dressing he liked so I bought one of each.

"Booth." I called as I knocked on my old bedroom door. "Dinner will be ready in five minutes if you're hungry." I decided not to beg him to eat with me. If he did then great and if not, then he either went hungry or ate cold food. I smiled when I heard the bedroom door open. I reached into the fridge, pulled out a beer and placed it at his seat.

"Bones this smells awesome. Mac and Cheese?" He said with a smile.

"Sure is. I thought you would like your favorite meal for your first night home." He flashed me his beautiful smile.

"Can I give you a hand?"

"Can you grab the salad and silverware? Oh and the napkins please." He wore a self-satisfied smile as he did as I requested. A few minutes later we were sitting down to our first dinner together as roommates.

"This is delicious." He told me.

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it. I'm sure you're like the salad too." I hinted and then surprisingly he filled his bowl with salad without argument. "I wasn't sure what kind of salad dressing you like so I made sure that you have lot's of options."

"That's weird." He said as he reached for the ranch dressing. " I thought you knew everything about me Bones."

"It's impossible to know everything about any one person. The reason I don't know what type of dressing you eat on your salad is because all of the times that we ate together you never ordered a salad."

"Well just for the record I'll eat any dressing but French." I laughed. "Since we are now living together Bones, I think that this is the perfect opportunity to learn everything we can about each other."

"And how do you suggest we do that?"

"Twenty questions." I raised my eyebrows. "Well not exactly but let's just ask each other questions, back and forth, questions that we have never asked each other before. Are you in?" I nodded my head. "I'll go first. Let's see, did you have any pets growing up?"

"I had a turtle named Zeus." He started laughing so hard that he snorted beer through his nose. "What is so funny?"

"I've always associated the name Zeus with power and a turtle doesn't exactly scream powerful."

"I chose the name because when I got Zeus I was studying Greek mythology and I was fascinated with Zeus. Now it's my turn, what's your favorite book?"

"That's an easy one, Bred in the Bone."

"I thought that we were supposed to be honest with each other."

"I am being honest. I am not a big reader. The only reason that I read that book was because you wrote it and it surprised me. It was fantastic. I stayed up all night finishing it. You made those characters come to life on the page. The cases were so realistic and I'm a much better FBI agent then Andy is and I couldn't solve the case before he could. That's great writing Bones. I've read that book so many times I practically have it memorized." He said sincerely.

"Thanks Booth. Your opinion means a lot to me." He reached across the table and squeezed my hand.

"I'm just being honest." We finished our dinner with more questions but honestly I don't remember what questions I asked or his answers because he never let go of my hand and I couldn't concentrate on anything but the feeling of his hand covering mine.

After dinner we worked together to clean up the kitchen, I rinsed the dishes and handed them to Booth who loaded the dishwasher. He was so happy to be doing something besides sitting in his chair. When the kitchen cleanup was complete we ventured to the grocery store. I pushed the cart while Booth loaded it up with the food that he and Parker liked, food he told me that I would grow to love. Things went smoothly until we walked out of the store to my car.

"Go on and get in the car and I'll load the grocery's." I instructed.

"I'll help."

"It's not necessary. I can handle it."

"I'm not going to sit on my ass doing nothing while you do all the work." Great, things were going so well.

"It's just a few bags Booth."

"Just hand me a god damned bag Bones." He snapped rather loudly. Biting the inside of my mouth to keep from crying I began handing him the bags to put in the backseat.

The drive home was silent. He stared out the passenger window and I stared straight ahead thinking about how yet again, I managed to piss him off. It seemed like no matter what I did or said, not matter how good my intentions are, he gets angry. I was starting to think that maybe moving in together wasn't the best idea. If his mood swings continued I was afraid that it might ruin our friendship.

"How many trips does it usually take you to get all of your grocery's upstairs?" He asked when he settled back in his chair when we arrived back home.

"Two or three."

"Between the two of us we can make one trip."

"I'm listening."

"Finally this chair may be good for something. Load my lap up with the bags. You'll have to push me in but it will only take one trip."

"Okay." I did as he asked and we managed to get the groceries upstairs in one trip. Maybe when he started walking again, I'll keep his chair for this reason.

"Did you bring my checkbook over from my apartment?" He asked me after we got the food put away.

"I put it in your nightstand."

"Thanks." Next thing I knew he was wheeling himself into his room. Since I was apparently alone I settled on the couch with my laptop and quickly absorbed my self into Kathy and Andy's world. I had gotten a few paragraphs in when I heard him clearing his throat. I looked up and found that he was right beside me.

"Hey." He handed me a check.

"This is for my part of the groceries."

"This isn't necessary." I handed the check back to him but he wouldn't take it.

"It was part of our agreement when I moved in. You said you would let me pay for half of the groceries."

"I know we agreed to that but I don't want you to feel that you have to give me money."

"Dammit Bones, I'm not a you're personal god damned charity case." Okay that stung.

"You're my friend, not my personal charity case."

"Then take my money without arguing about it."

"Fine but speaking of money when are you planning on returning to work?"

"I'm not going back to work. I can't do my job anymore."

"Not the exact same job but you are still a very valuable member of the FBI, with or without the use of your legs."

"I don't want another job. I want the same job that I was doing when I got shot."

"That's not possible Booth and since you are refusing to work how do you plan on not staying my charity case?" I said bitterly. It hurt that's what he thought he was to me.

"I'm getting disability."

"And will that check will be enough so when you finally move out of here? Will you be able to pay your rent, buy your groceries, pay your utilities, and make a car payment because since you no longer work for The FBI you'll have to buy your own vehicle? Will it be enough to make your child support payments to Rebecca, will you be able to purchase all of the equipment that you'll need?" I saw the anger and hurt flash across his face.

"My finances aren't any of your fucking business Bones." He yelled

"You're making it my business when you shove a check in my face, a check that I don't need." I shouted

"Why do you always have to rub it in that you have so much more money than the rest of the world? How do you think that it makes someone poor like me feel when I see that gigantic flat screen TV you probably paid thousands of dollars for, the video games, the parallel bars, the new dresser, Parker's bedroom shit, the specialized shower?"

"I…I just wanted you to feel at home. I'm not trying to rub my money in your face."

"Well you did Bones."

"I starting to think that this living arrangement isn't going to work out. You are so fucking moody and I'm tired of walking around on eggshells around you, worrying that if the next thing I say will piss you off or make you happy. I must be saying the wrong thing because you are constantly angry and yelling at me when all I want to do is be your friend. I guess I don't have it in me to be a good friend."

"You want me to move out?" He asked softly

"You haven't even been here twenty four hours and you're angry with me and we're shouting at each other. I can't live like this Booth. You need help with dealing with your feelings regarding being paralyzed. Maybe Sweets can help you."

"I don't need therapy to deal with my feelings on being paralyzed."

"Yes you do. Because if you continue to treat the people who are trying to help you, your friends you're going to lose them, starting with me."

"Bones you promised that you wouldn't leave me."

"Well that was before I became your punching bag. I care for you but I will not stay around and be treated like shit." I grabbed my laptop and stood from the couch, letting his check fall to the floor. "Are you willing to risk losing your friendships because you're to proud to ask for help?" With that being said I turned and walked away from him and into my new room collapsing on my bed. I buried my head in my pillow and sobbed.

Booth's POV

I could hear her crying from her bedroom, granted it was muffled probably because she was crying into a pillow but she was crying nonetheless and I was the cause of it. I couldn't possibly hate myself anymore at this moment if I tried. I knew she was right. I knew I was treating her like shit. I knew it while I was doing it but I couldn't help myself. Who the hell was I? Who had I become? She was right I needed help. I needed to talk to someone about my stupid feelings but I wasn't ready to do that. I wheeled myself over to her door and knocked.

"Bones can we talk?"

"No."

"Please?" After a few minutes of silence she opened the door. Her beautiful blue eyes were red and swollen and the edge of her nose was red from her obvious crying. I mentally kicked myself for doing that to her.

"Look I'm…" I began but she cut me off.

"I don't want to hear you say you're sorry again. I have heard that so much from you over the past month that it has lost it's meaning. You're sorry one day and the next you return to the behavior that made you apologize in the first place. When you decide to actually apologize and then do something about it I'll be willing to listen and accept your apology." I had no response. "I have a headache so I'm going to bed. Tomorrow morning we'll start over with a new board."

"We'll start over with a new slate Bones." I said weakly.

"Goodnight Booth." She said shutting the door in my face.

Sighing I wheeled myself back into the living room. I grabbed the remote and turned on the really expensive TV. She bought it so I might as well use it. The picture quality was amazing but I was quickly bored. I couldn't focus. Earlier I noticed my laptop was on her desk so I wheeled over and grabbed it. I plugged it in and logged onto the Internet. I checked my email, I read articles, and I found some pointless games like Solitaire to pass the time but I quickly got bored with that. While I was playing I was getting a ton of pop ups for online poker and black jack. Before I realized what I had done I clicked on one of the blackjack ads.

As the website loaded I knew that I should have logged off and threw the computer out the window but the excitement mixed with the nervous anxiety prevented me from doing so. When I returned from war I was so emotionality lost. I felt so guilty over the lives I took. Why should I be alive when all those people weren't? After being overseas for so long I felt like I didn't belong back in the states. I felt so out of place and in the middle of a casino where people weren't asking what happened and how I was the perfect place to hide from the real world. In the casino I was just another person trying to blend in. I felt like I had control over my life again. No one was telling me what time to wake up, what to eat, when to eat, when to sleep, when to take a piss, who to kill and who to let live. I didn't have to rely on anyone but myself.

The blackjack game required a $5 minimum bet. I quickly typed in credit card number and placed $100 dollars into my new online account. I told myself that when the $100 was gone I was done. I was older now and I had more self-control and I was confident that I would be able to stop. The first game I drew a 17. I hit and drew a 4, which gave me the 21 that I needed and the dealer busted. I was off to a great start. Six hours later at four in the morning my $100 was $1000. I was kicking some blackjack ass. I hated to end my winning streak but Parker would be here in a few hours and I knew that I needed to get a few hours of shuteye. I regretfully logged off my laptop and took it with me to my room. I wouldn't want Bones accidentally finding out that I started gambling again.

As I got ready for bed I kept telling myself that I wasn't addicted to gambling again. I was able to easily stop. When I was addicted I would go for days without leaving the casino, I couldn't walk away and tonight or actually this morning I walked away easily. I was a different man now then I was then and I knew that I was not addicted. I needed a release, I needed to actually do something that made me feel good, that made me feel like a winner again not the loser that I have felt like over the past month. I pulled myself into my new bed and snuggled down under the blankets that smelled like Bones. As I drifted off to sleep my last conscious thought was my confidence in my ability to stop gambling any damn time I wanted because I wasn't addicted again. I just didn't want to stop right now but when I was ready I could stop.

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