Ok, ok. I think writing this chapter was very cathartic for me. I am at peace with the whole Klaine thing. And since Glee is taking a month off, we can just drift off into our little world of Kurtofsky magic! This chapter is dedicated to all of my faithful reviewers. You people rock my toe socks, hardcore. (Especially YellowButterfly who requested a little less macking, a little more talking!) Please review. If you don't I will watch the Klaine kiss over and over and overdose on chocolate.! Don't make me do it, people!
Sneaking into Dave Karofsky's bed was the easy part.
Getting out of it in the morning was the hardest thing Kurt had ever done.
After Dave had driven over and snuck Kurt in through the back door to his room, they'd climbed out of their jackets and shoes and fallen across the bed, face to face. Kurt had never felt his heart race so fast. Not even during their make out session in the janitor's closet.
Because in this bed, in the middle of the night, there were no fellow students right outside the door. There was no mop and bucket to avoid banging into and ringing bell to fear. In other words, there was nothing to stop them. From doing…whatever. Kurt knew he definitely wasn't ready for whatever. Not yet, anyway.
Raising his lowered gaze to the other boy he was surprised by what he saw. Dave was just as nervous as him. Something about knowing that they were in this together, that neither of them knew that to do, melted all the fear and awkwardness of the encounter from Kurt's mind. Being here in this bed meant a lot of things. It meant that maybe one day they'd be ready for…whatever… but tonight; this moment; it meant that they needed to be together, close in every way.
Grabbing the now familiar quilt, Kurt took the initiative and, reaching around the other boy, wrapped it around both of their bodies. Inching forward, he nestled his lean body along the jock's, with one leg thrown over both of his, and his head nestled in Dave's chest. Sighing deeply, he soaked in the moment. Pure Bliss. The feeling intensified when he felt the other boy's big hands running over his back. Not urgently or with any intention. Just comforting. Kurt had never felt so safe, so protected. He was literally in Dave's keeping, body and soul.
Burrowing his head deeper against the warmth of Dave's wool sweater, he murmured softly:
"Talk to me"
Dave's hands paused for a second in their soothing circles on Kurt's slowly relaxing frame.
"What do you want me to talk about?"
Kurt could feel the vibration of Dave's husky baritone through his whole body. Something about being able to hear and feel his voice struck Kurt as extremely sexy. It took him a moment to slow down his rapid heart rate and reply.
"Everything. I want to know everything about you. I want to hear your opinions on everything. I want to know your favorite memory and your favorite kind of ice cream. When did you start taking pictures? Who's your favorite band? Why didn't I know that you had a sister?"
Kurt's flood of questions came to an abrupt close, as he felt Dave silent, shaking laughter.
"What is so funny, Karofsky?" Pushing back, he prepared his best "you better take me serious" glare for the other boy.
Dave's body continued to shake.
Kurt's temper was now genuinely triggered. Here he was; willing to open his heart and soul, and asking the boy who claimed to love him to do the same, and all he got was derision. Well, if he wanted to be mocked, he could go home and sleep in the same room with Finn, who mercilessly teased him for his collection of China Dolls. As if he didn't know they were valuable collectibles.
Seeing Dave's face now buried in the pillow, Kurt shoved his shoulder impatiently, running through the ideas of either storming out (which would involve a cold 5 mile walk home...in the middle of the night) or indignantly demanding a ride (less drama, but no pneumonia or scary walk). He hadn't quite determined his exit plan when Dave turned his face from the pillow.
Kurt was genuinely shocked. Rather than barely concealed mirth, his face was red and splotchy.
My god. Kurt drew in a startled and confused breath. Dave hadn't been laughing, he'd been crying.
Kurt had now seen his former bully crying twice. It made him feel like there was so much he didn't know, didn't get, and didn't see about the bigger boy.
"What's wrong, baby?"
It was Kurt's turn to run soothing hands over the jock's back. Snuggling back into their former embrace, he laid his head on the pillow across from Dave's, so that the blue eyes met hazel.
Taking a few shuddering breath, Dave managed to speak.
"This is so dumb. I feel so dumb. It's just…" pausing to inhale a shaky breath, he continued in an earnest whisper. "It's just that… no one ever cared about me before. I mean, besides my family. No one asks about my pictures or my sister Elly. The guys on the team only care about who you're screwing and where the next party or game is."
Whispering words of comfort, and brushing butterfly kisses along his forehead and cheeks, Kurt realized that; as much as he felt protected and safe within the arms of this big, handsome boy, that Dave felt protected and safe with him.
They were each other's safe harbor.
Kurt ran his soft hand along Dave's tear stained cheek. Leaning in, he brushed a quick, soothing kiss across the still trembling mouth.
"Tell me everything".
That night they talked about; well, everything.
Kurt found out that Dave didn't even really like football and didn't watch professional games.
Dave found out that Kurt did like football and cheered for the Steelers with his dad. Kurt was able to vent his rage over their recent superbowl defeat and walk Dave through what he called his play by play "what they should have done" playbook.
Dave told Kurt that he'd been taking pictures since the age of 5, when he got his first Polaroid. He showed Kurt his favorite pictures. One was a sunset, taken during his family's summer trip to the Grand Canyon. One was of his sister, Elly, swinging in the back yard at the age of 6, wearing an outfit she chose herself (Kurt couldn't help but admire her avant-garde style). The third picture astonished Kurt. It was a picture of him! Dave must have taken it during their last competition. He wasn't singing, but he looked flushed and radiant. They must have just finished their number.
He didn't know when he'd seen a better picture of himself, and told the other boy so. Dave; he found out, didn't accept compliments gracefully, muttering something about how he felt like a stalker taking the picture.
Kurt had tossed the pictures onto the nightstand and cupped Dave's face with his hands.
"You can stalk me anytime"
Their conversation took a backseat to a few minutes of fervent kissing. They were in Dave's bed, after all. It would have been wrong to not take a little advantage of the situation, Kurt reasoned.
Drawing back, Kurt rested his cheek back into Dave's chest, which now rose and fell sharply, with his labored breaths.
"Tell me about Elly".
Kurt could feel Dave's hesitation. Breathing deeply, he began; in a halting tone, to speak.
"It's just me and Elly. She is 3 years younger than me. A freshman this year. My mom couldn't have any more kids after she was born."
He paused, as if weighing his words.
"I've always loved Elly. She is the best sister a guy could ask for. I never noticed there was anything different. Not until...we got into the same school. The other kids were merciless. They called her "smelly elly" and "dumb dumb". My parents tried to protect her, but they couldn't be there every minute. And they didn't want to put her in a special school. She loved school, and half of the time didn't even seem to realize that they were making fun of her. But I knew it. That's one of the reasons…one of the reasons, I became the way I am. A bully"
Kurt smiled tenderly.
"You were a bully, babe. Past tense"
Dave smiled at Kurt's defense, pulling him a little closer to his big, warm body. Kurt reveled in the unique feeling of bliss that came from being plastered head to toe with David Karofsky.
Dave heaved a sigh and continued.
"My parents are really cool. They've never said anything. I mean, they love Elly and me. But I've always known that it was my job to be "the normal one". Elly might not ever get married and have kids. I mean, I hope she does. But, what if she doesn't? How am I supposed to tell my parents that they've got one special needs kid and one gay one? And maybe no grandkids? "
And then it wasn't just Dave crying, but Kurt too. Because he understood that feeling. The painful thought of disappointing a parent. Of ruining a parents dreams for the future. And he understood how Dave had become the person he had been.
Fear had made him a bully. Fear of the feelings that he had for Kurt. He'd tried so hard to protect his sister, and his family. Bullying was the only way he knew how to protect them, to take care of them.
It didn't excuse what he'd done. He'd hurt and terrified Kurt, and the other Glee kids. But something in Kurt's soul, a tiny piece that had resisted trusting and loving Dave, felt healed.
After that they talked until the sun came up. They talked favorite movies, favorite bands, foods, TV shows, and flavors of ice cream. They argued politics and men's fashion. (The flannel versus cashmere debate raged for a full twenty minutes) They talked about their future plans, and their dreams.
And so; at 5:30 am, when they decided it was probably wise to sneak Kurt back home, it was; in fact, the hardest thing Kurt had ever done to leave that bed.
Because although Dave was driving him to his house, where there were people he loved, this bed, this boy…they were his home now.
