Two Days Later
The tea kettle whistled loudly, breaking her from her reverie. Pouring the hot water in to a small tea pot, Henrietta Lange watched as the steaming, clear liquid quickly turned a deep, dark brown color.
"Much like the future," she thought, "unknown and mysterious."
After setting the kettle back on the stove, she slowly lowered herself in to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. While she waited for the tea to brew to her desired taste, her thoughts drifted once more.
And that was where the Admiral found her, staring off in to a distance far, far away….a distance only she could see.
"Henrietta," he said cautiously, not wanting to spook her, "everything all right?"
She turned at the sound of his voice, her eyes widening slightly to see him in front of her.
"I didn't hear you come in," she answered, sitting against the back of the chair and trying to shake the vivid pictures of Vietnam from her thoughts.
"Just got back," he replied, a small smile appearing on his lips. "Think I got everything we needed."
She nodded. "Let me help."
AJ set the shopping bags on the counter and quickly turned to give her a hand up. The doctor's appointment had gone well, and all of the stitches that AJ had tried to repair stayed intact. Dr. Atkins had even complimented AJ, saying he could have a job as a surgeon if he put his mind to it.
But AJ's thoughts were on one thing and one thing alone: the well-being of Henrietta Lange.
Hetty had not been happy to hear Dr. Atkins want for her to keep moving slowly, stay off her feet for another week, and stay on antibiotics for another two. While the wounds on her back would heal relatively soon, the doctor cautioned her about expecting too much, too quick. For instance, it could take up to six weeks before her ribs would not cause her pain every time she moved. And it would be even longer before her normal stamina would return- something that would keep her away from the NCIS Office for at least two months, if not longer.
AJ had driven her home from the appointment in silence, knowing she was once again blaming herself for the Vietnam mission and getting herself in to this predicament. And ever since they'd returned to Dovecote that afternoon, she'd been introspective, quiet and withdrawn. He worried that if he let her go on like this much longer, her memories of Vietnam would hinder her physical recovery.
He finished unloading his grocery bag and looked over as she put a few small items in the refrigerator. She was unsteady, hanging on to the door handle so tight that her knuckles were turning white. He leaned against the counter, waiting for her to finish so they could have the conversation he knew she was avoiding…a conversation that included what had actually happened in Vietnam…and what had happened between the two of them the other night.
It had gone no further than a kiss, but AJ wanted her to know just how much he cared for her. And it seemed she'd received that message. Though, whether or not she cared about him in the same way was yet to be determined.
The door to the refrigerator shut, and Hetty leaned against it heavily. AJ stepped forward, gently putting both hands on her elbows.
"Hey…let's go sit for awhile. Seems like that walk did you in this morning."
She turned slightly, looking up at him. "Never thought I would say a short walk up the street could do me in."
He chuckled, gently turning her around and leading her back to the table. "Well, times change, Henrietta. For both of us."
He sat across from her, leaning back with a large grin. "I remember the days when I was able to do fifty push-ups and not break a sweat. Now I'm lucky to even get down on the ground without breaking a sweat."
Hetty joined him in laughter, her ribs reminding her she was still injured as pain coursed up and down her sides with each chuckle. She gripped the edge of the table with her left hand, holding her right side with the other, as her laughter soon died away. The Admiral reached across the small table to place his hand over hers.
"You good?"
She cleared her throat and took a few small breaths. "Yes…just warn me next time. I forgot that laughter causes pain just now."
He smiled wide and patted her hand. "I'll try to remember. But I must say, it's good to hear you laugh again."
Nodding, she agreed. "Yes…it is good to finally have something to laugh about."
He stood, picking up her tea cup in one hand and holding out his other to her.
"Why don't we go sit outside? It's nice out…and I think we have some things to talk about."
She eyed him for a moment, unsure whether or not she was ready to have any type of serious discussion. Instead, Hetty wanted to continue in happiness…not relive the fear, the cold, the emptiness.
"Henrietta…please," he urged quietly, reaching down and taking her hand in his.
Sighing, she obliged, and stood with his help. AJ led her out to the patio by the pool, helping her settle in to one of the larger, cushioned chairs. He pulled his chair directly in front of hers, setting his arms on his knees and clasping his hands together.
"So…." he began, kneading his hands together, "…I think we should talk about that wound on your arm."
Hetty remained silent, her eyes cast down to her hands now clasped together in her lap.
"Dr. Atkins said it was healing nicely?" he asked.
She nodded slightly.
"And the day Callen was here…you indicated the wound came from injections…of sodium pentathol?" he continued quietly.
Again, a small nod.
He sat up a bit straighter, hands now planted on his knees. "How many times did they inject you?"
Hetty cleared her throat, turning slightly so she was facing away from him. AJ knew she was avoiding the subject…avoiding answering. But the why behind her avoidance was what he was unsure of.
"How many times, Henrietta?"
"Two…or three…I think," she answered.
AJ, knowing how powerful and intense one dose of such an inhibitor could be to the human system, cursed silently. He couldn't imagine how she'd fought against the pain of the injections…nor the increased pressure to answer questions about her past operations while her resolve was being weakened with each subsequent dose.
"Now why wouldn't you want to tell me that?" he asked gently, leaning forward and pulling one of her hands out of her lap to rest in his large palm.
Still, she wouldn't look at him. He saw her body shudder as she took in a breath, her eyes closing as she simply shook her head in response to his question.
"Henrietta…there was nothing you could do to stop them. They wanted intel…and they were going to do whatever they could to get it from you."
"I should never have trusted Dang…should have known he wouldn't give up Keane for money alone," she said softly, her eyes still focused out across the vast yard.
"Perhaps not. But you did everything possible to get away. Callen said one of the bodies only had half an ear…I'm guessing you took care of the other half," AJ reminded her.
Hetty shrugged. "Still didn't keep him from injecting enough of that damned concoction to take away my…." she stopped, her breath hitching as she looked down, tears welling in her eyes.
AJ moved his chair forward a few inches, squeezing Hetty's fingers lightly. "Taking away what?"
She shook her head again, much faster this time. "I should have known….should have been able to…"
"Henrietta!"
The Admiral's exclamation was enough to stop Hetty, her eyes wide in confusion as she turned to look at him.
"Enough of the 'should have's.' You did what you needed to do to keep yourself and Keane alive."
"But…"
"Henrietta, they were going to use every method possible to break you. But you're still here, and they are six feet below," he told her firmly.
"But they did break me, AJ," she responded, her eyes suddenly coming alive. "I cannot remember what I said after the second injection….I've tried over and over to recall how much I gave up…but I have no recollection. And if any operation or anyone I've worked with in the past has been compromised because of what I said….I can never forgive myself."
The tears welled in her eyes again as she quickly turned her head away, pulling her hand from his. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to shed more tears…especially not in front of AJ.
Hetty heard the chair move back across the concrete, heard footsteps walking away from her. And while there was a great deal of hurt knowing she had failed in Vietnam, the knowledge that AJ had just walked away from her was more than the incredibly powerful Henrietta Lange could bear.
After hearing the door to the house close, Hetty's tears began to fall freely, one hand covering her quivering lips while the other held her aching side tight. If anything, AJ had understood her each step of the way…not blaming her for keeping the mission a secret…understanding when she needed space during the day….keeping her occupied when the memories of her torture became so vivid it seemed she was back in Vietnam again.
But now, he had left her; had heard that she could have compromised every single operator she ever worked with…including him…and had walked away from her. Never give up a fellow comrade, even if that means death…that was the one cardinal rule for all undercover operatives. And she had broken that rule…along with the trust of the one man she'd allowed in to her heart.
Right now, she wished for death.
For death would hurt far less than the rejection of Admiral AJ Chegwidden.
