I wasn't sure how what I was supposed to do after I heard Dimitri and Lissa's exchange this afternoon. I sat at the bar, with my head in my hands.

"Need a refill?" Liam, the bartender asked. I nodded and slid my glass to him. He filled it back up with the expensive vodka I was drinking, and handed it back.

"Thanks." I said. I'd lost count of how many I drank. A dhampir guy that I didn't recognize came up and sat down beside me. He was extremely cute, and had such pretty green eyes, almost like Adrian's.

"Hello there, gorgeous."

"Hey." I said, taking another swig of my drink.

"What is a beautiful woman like you doing alone tonight?" He asked. I sighed.

"Long story… don't wanna talk about it." I slurred. He smiled.

"Doesn't matter. What's your name beautiful?"

"Rose Hathaway… and you?" I asked.

"I'm Logan. It's a pleasure to meet you." He said, taking my hand and kissing it. I smirked.

"I'm sure."

"Would you like to come back to my place? Get better acquainted?" He asked. I almost laughed, but I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and knew this was going to end badly.

"I actually have to be going. It's getting late." I said, trying to get out of my barstool without falling. He then laid a hand on my arm, smiling.

"Come on… just for a little while. I promise you won't regret it." He said.

"You've got about two seconds to get your hand off me before you lose it."

"Don't be like that, Rose. I'm just trying to show you a good time." He said, tightening his grip on my wrist. I drew back to swing when I heard a voice that made me freeze.

"Get your hand off her, now." The voice said, that Russia accent thickly lacing his words.

"What are you going to do about it Belikov?" He asked. Logan released me, and stood up. Dimitri took a step forward, and swung hard, catching him in the jaw. Logan hit the floor.

"Come on Rose." He said, offering me his hand. I took it, as he pulled me out of the stool. I stumbled into him, causing him to wrap an arm around my waist. When he got me out of the bar, I turned to him.

"I can make it from here, thanks." I said, pushing myself away from him. The moment I was standing on my own, my legs started to give out and I started to fall forward.

"Before or after the sun rises?" He asked me, smartly. I growled. He smiled at me. "You should know better than to get that drunk by now. You know bad things happen when you drink."

"Shut up, Dimitri." I muttered, as we made our way to my room. When we finally reached the door, he helped me over to my couch. I sat down, and sighed. "Thank you." I said. He nodded. He started to leave, when I felt the sudden urge to get sick. I was on my feet and sprinting for the bathroom before he even realized I'd gotten up. I hit my knees in front of the toilet, and heaved my guts into it. It was in this moment that I realized I hadn't really eaten all day. Stupid move, Rose. Dimitri walked in, and pulled my hair back out of my face. He reached into the cabinet under the sink, and pulled out a wash rag, wetting it and placing it on the back of my neck. When I was finally able to breathe again, after heaving up the contents of my stomach, I turned to look at him.

"You can leave." I said, trying to keep my voice hard. Instead, it came out as a whimper. My eyes were drooping slightly. He shook his head and didn't say anything. He knelt down next to me.

"Are you through puking?" He asked.

"Leave, Dimitri." I groaned. He shook his head. He stood up and opened my medicine cabinet, pulling out a bottle of aspirin. He poured two small red pills into his hand and gave them to me. He grabbed the cup off the counter, and filled it with water. He then handed it to me.

"Take them." He urged. I sighed, and did as he asked. He knelt down at eye level, and smiled slightly.

"Wanna know something disgusting?"

"Wanna know what I want more than anything right now? You to leave." I snapped. He flinched a little, but didn't get up to move. Instead, he reached over me and turned the water on in the bathtub. "What are you doing?" I demanded. He shook his head.

"Just trust me." He said, as my eyes got heavier and heavier.

"Sad part is, I can't trust you anymore."

"What have I ever done to make you not trust me?" He asked, as he forced my head back to let the water run over my hair. It was then I realized what he was doing. I'd thrown up in my hair, and he was washing it out. I could tell he was also trying to keep me talking. He was trying to keep me awake.

"You told me you loved me, and that you'd never let anything happen to me."

"And I haven't." He snapped.

"You're wrong. You never thought the person I'd need protecting from at the end of it all would be you." I murmured. This caught him off guard, because he sat up for a second.

"Rose, I-." I shook my head. I tried to sit up, so I could stand, but I got light-headed and toppled over. He caught me before I could fall over, and into my bathtub. He helped me up, and into the living room. He helped me into the chair, and knelt down beside me. "I never meant for things to end up like this between us. If you don't believe anything else that I've told you… you at least have to believe that."

"I don't know what to believe anymore." I murmured. I knew it was the alcohol talking, but regardless, I kept going. "I've been through too much now. It seems like the only one I can trust is myself."

"Roza, you can trust me. I'd never-." I cut him off.

"Just stop, Dimitri. I don't want to hear it."

"Will you just listen to me for once?" He asked, meeting my gaze.

"I could care less about what you have to say. Nothing you can say is going to change the fact that-."

"Roza, listen to me. I love you; I don't care how much you say otherwise. I've told you a thousand times over how I feel about you, and I'll say the same thing until I die. You'll always be the one for me, regardless of the past. I told you long ago that my heart was with you." He said.

"And then… you were turned strigoi, and when I turned you back… you gave up on me."

"No… You listen to me, Rosemarie Hathaway… My heart has always been with you. That was the sole reason I didn't leave with Tasha, the reason I gave in to my feelings that night in the cabin, the reason I fled to Russia when I was turned, the reason I wanted to turn you when I was a strigoi, and the reason I told you my love had faded when I was turned back." He said.

"That doesn't make sense." I slurred.

"It makes perfect sense. My heart went dark. Everything and anything I'd ever felt was gone when I was a strigoi. All I wanted was to kill, to feed, and to be on top. Roza, it wasn't that I didn't love you when I was restored. It was that I couldn't love you. I wish you could have felt, could have been overwhelmed the way I was when I was restored."

"But you didn't have to lie to me." I told him.

"You wouldn't have accepted it any other way."

"You didn't give me the chance." I snapped at him. I felt myself starting to slowly lose it. The composure I'd held on too was slipping through my hands.

"You're right… I didn't." He murmured, looking down. He glanced over at the loveseat to notice its sloppy appearance. I hadn't cleaned it up from Adrian and I's escapades last night.

"What happened over there?" He asked. I debated on lying to him, but I'd just jumped his case for lying to me.

"Adrian was here last night." I admitted, no shame what so ever.

"Did he stay the night?" He asked, pain very prominent in his voice. I nodded once.

"He did." He didn't say anything else for a few minutes. Finally, he stood up.

"I should probably go. It's getting late, and you need to rest." I just nodded, as he started towards the door. Right before he reached for the door handle, I sighed.

"Dimitri?"

"Yeah?" He asked, trying to keep his Guardian mask up.

"I didn't… I didn't have sex with him. I haven't had sex with anyone since you." I admitted. I couldn't help but smirk at the smile that lit up his face.

"You mean that? You mean in two years… you haven't-?" I shook my head.

"Nope… not since you." I murmured.

"I… I don't know what to say." He said. I sighed, and stood up, stumbling my way towards him. He took a few steps forward, and caught me before I could fall. When I got to him, I stood up on my tip toes, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. When I pulled away, his eyes remained closed for a second.

"Thank you, for taking care of me tonight." I finally murmured.

"You're welcome. Thank you… for being honest with me." I just nodded.

"Goodnight Roza."

"Night Comrade." I said. He opened the door, and took two steps out, before he turned to me and smiled.

"By the way… after our fight the other day at the academy, I want a rematch. I have to beat you." He said, smirking. It was the most genuine smile I'd seen on him since I'd restored him.

"Its not gonna happen, but we'll see." I assured him. He nodded, before closing the door behind him. Once he was gone, I took a deep breath, realizing that I'd just broken every vow I made myself. I told myself that I wouldn't let him back in, that I wasn't going to let him know how much he hurt me, that I wasn't going to let him know how much I still cared. I'd broken every one of those vows tonight, and to be quite honest… I could care less. I walked over to my bed, and crawled into it, closing my eyes, and slowly drifting into unconsciousness. It was the first time in a long time that I'd gotten a full nights sleep, without waking up due to the nightmares.