Don't be mad
"Mom" Callie says in a quiet voice "Don't be mad but I fixed it."
As soon as those words were out of Callie's mouth Stef, like every parent, knows that whatever Callie had done to try to "fix" the situation it is going to make her mad.
"What did you do?" Stef says a little louder than she meant to as she pulls out of the hug.
Callies hands grasp her head in pain. With a panicked look on her face she tries to get up and around Stef, but gets dizzy and becomes unbalanced before her feet are fully grounded on the floor.
Stef doesn't back away from where she was standing when they were in the hug. Blocking Callie with her body and quickly reaching out, trying to force Callie to sit back down. "Whoa, nope sit down" Stef says in a serious voice, her face softens when she sees that Callie is upset and scared "Just take a deep breath…that came out too loud. I forgot about your head."
"Just let me go...I'm sorry, I didn't mean for them to take me." Callie tries to make Stef understand.
"Awwwwweeeeee…hurtsss" Callie cries out when Stef accidentally hits one of Callie burns on her back when she reaches for a hold on Callie's t-shirt because she couldn't get a good hold on Callie's casted arm.
"I'm sorry, just calm down. We will handle whatever, it is" Stef says in a quite but strong voice Stef knows that Callie has shutdown and was going to have to calm down before she could get any answers. "Breathe for me" Stef puts Callie casted arm up on her shoulder, holding Callie tightly trying to bring her back into a hug "Its ok..shhhh."
Callie is hesitating to go into Stefs embrace as she tries to ignore the pain and the embarrassment of being a big freaking baby. One little raised voice and she is freaking out like a two-year old. She can't understand what is wrong with her, deciding that it is easier to rest against Stef, trying to ignore the pain and concentrate on how to breathe again than it is to fight, she finally lets her head fall fully onto Stef's chest.
This is how Lena found them several minutes later, sharing a concerned look with Stef. She can see Callie is hiding behind her hair trying to get her emotions under control.
"Cals what's wrong?" Lena asks in a concerned voice as she tries to move Callie's hair out of her face, sending Callie further into Stef. Callie squeezes her eyes closed tighter, forcing unshed tears to run down her cheeks.
When Callie doesn't answer Stef makes eye contact with Lena then quietly says "Callie wants to tell us something but is scared." Squeezing Callie tighter as she is talking "She thinks I am going to be mad."
Callie barely opens her eyes and gives the Moms a slight shrug.
"And I accidentally hit one of her burns, would you please get the cream for them?" Stef asks Lena who gives Stef a look reminding her not to push Callie. They would get information from her at Callie's pace.
"Cals, do you want me or Momma to put the cream on?" Stef asks trying to get Callie to talk to her. When Callie doesn't say anything, the Moms share a concerned look. Lena comes around and really looks into Callie's squinted watery eyes and she can tell Callie is clearly having a hard time concentrating.
"Ok, Baby I am going to look at your back." Lena says as she crawls onto the bed behind Callie. When Lena starts to lift her shirt, Callie starts to wiggle against Stef and hold her breath.
"It's just Momma, she is going to make it better." Stef says as she holds onto Callie tighter, trying to sooth the crying girl.
"Hurts" Callie whimper when Lena puts the cream on the burns. "Uuuggg burns" Callie cries out and tries to lift off the bed going more into Stef's embrace.
"Almost done." Lena gently says as she gives Stef a look to let her know that they are going to need to keep an eye on them so that they don't get infected. "Done, why don't you lay down for a while?"
When Stef goes to let go of a trembling Callie and move her to lie down. Callie shakes her head and holds Stef tighter. "With me?"
"No worries Love, I am not going anywhere…we still have a talk to finish" Stef says giving Callie a reassuring smile. Lena helps Stef move a grimacing Callie into bed until they are settled with Callie between them. Callie is on her stomach, with her casted arm on a stack of pillows between her and Stef and her good arm around Lena.
They let her get settled for a few minutes and get her breathing back to normal. Lena is holding her good hand, creating circles on the back of her hand with her thumb.
Stef searches for Callie's eyes but Callie will not look at her, keeping her eyes down on the blanket.
"Callie, eyes please" Stef says, she hated to be tough on her but warning bells was going off, she has never seen Callie like this.
Callie is self-contained normally and wouldn't or couldn't say what is really at issue; Stef knew that you had to read Callie's eyes and body language to get the truth from her.
"Sweets, there is nothing you can tell us for us not to love you or for us not to want you" Stef says quietly.
"You're our daughter forever" Lena says as she gives Callie a kiss to her temple.
"Promise?" Callie asks as she tries not to let her bottom lip tremble or the tears escape her eyes.
Stef nods her head as both Moms say "Promise."
"Its my fault" Callie whispers.
"Sweets, none of this is your fault" Stef says thinking that Callie is feeling guilt over being taken from them.
"Yes it is…I did this" Callie cries out in a rush "Ididntwantthemtobeabletotakeme... and and then... they did... and... and…" Callie tries to finish, to tell them all of it to make them understand but she cant because she is hyperventilating and crying to hard. She finally gives up and hides her face into the pillows, between her and Lena. Callie is totally embarrassed that she can't even have a simple conversation without crying.
The Moms share a look over Callie, trying to make sense of what she just told them. Neither is sure exactly what she is talking about or how to handle it.
"Shhh, Baby it's ok" Lena says soothingly trying to get Callie to calm down enough to elaborate on what she is trying to tell them so that they can figure out what needs to be done. "We will work it out together."
"No reason for you to hide" Stef says in a law and quiet tone of voice "Come on the worst is over and neither one of us are mad." She reaches and softly starts creating circles on top of Callie's head, playing with her hair. "We need you to talk to us Callie."
After a few moments Callie turns her head, keeping her eyes on her pillow. Between hitched breaths cries out "I cant quit crying."
Knowing that this was a combination of the medication and lack of sleep that was causing Callie to be overly emotional Lena says "Baby its ok to cry, it been a tough couple of days, huh?"
Callie nods her head "I didn't mean for this to happen" she whispers.
"You didn't mean for what to happen?" Stef questions softly.
Callie whispers as tears keep rolling down her face "I cant live like this anymore…I thought if I could get the paperwork signed then they couldn't take me away from you, but then they did."
"What paperwork?" Stef cautiously asks.
"I couldn't live waiting anymore" Callie mumbles.
The Moms share a look over Callie deciding that they would just let her talk.
"Always waiting for that knock, always not knowing when they are going to take me and split us up." Callie says quietly "Its killing me, I had to do something."
"So you did paperwork?" Lena asks trying to prompt her.
Callie nods her head "Yeah, I don't want the system making choices for me anymore" she spits out. "You're my Moms now not them. I don't need them making decisions for me"
When she says this Stef figures out what she has done "Are you talking about you being Emancipate?"
"Please don't be mad I just wanted to fix things so I could stay and us not have to worry about it anymore. I knew that they would screw this up and then I couldn't be an Adams Foster" Callie nods crying out as she can't hold back her emotions anymore and break down in tears.
