Sorry, I meant to update way earlier but I've had lots on, so, yeah :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the songs.
When I woke up in the morning my head was spinning. My mind was an endless cycle of answerless questions, and every plausible explanation I came up with was followed by a whole bunch of new question. I got out the special book I used for writing songs and started to let all of my feelings out through the lyrics. It helped a little, but there was still so much I didn't understand.
There was a knock at the door and Rachel poked her head in.
"Hey Bells. How are you?" she asked.
"I'm fine thanks. What about you?" I asked in return.
"Yeah, I'm good. I just wanted to let you know we'll be leaving in about an hour," she said.
"Okay, thanks Rach," I said. She smiled before closing the door.
Usually I would go out and spend the morning with my family, but today I just wanted some time alone to think.
I thought about what Edward had said last night, 'I was trying to protect her'. How did leaving protect me? All it did was hurt me. I was left alone and heartbroken, losing all of my hopes and dreams in an instant. His words from the forest still echoed in my mind, leaving a strange depressed feeling washed over my body.
And what was he protecting me from? There weren't many things I was afraid of in this world, but the things I was scared of, only he could protect me from. He had left me to fend for my self while Laurent and Victoria had hunted me down.
Frustrated with all of my unanswered questions, I decided to get up. Hopefully recording the new album today would help distract me.
I got dressed and ate breakfast, and then we all left for the recording studio. It was a medium sized building in Seattle, nothing flashy, but apparently it had been the starting point for many famous bands. We hoped that rumour was true. It also had lots of gizmos and gadgets which I'm sure I would be awed by if I knew anything about technology.
I showed the others some of the songs I'd written this morning and they put music to them. Most bands wouldn't be able to do this, they would spend hours perfecting the music to suit the lyrics, but with a band of vampires who get everything perfect in the first shot, it was easy.
We decided to start with one of the songs I'd written a while back. We were just about to start when a guy walked into the tech room and whispered into Dan's ear. Half of the people in the room could hear him anyway, but he didn't know that.
Dan's eyebrows rose slightly at whatever he said, and he nodded his head. I saw Mel shoot him a glare out of the corner of my eye.
Just as we were about to start, who else but the Cullens walked in. Why were they making life so complicated for me? It looked as though they were about to sit through the recording.
I know I wrote all of my songs as though I was talking to Edward, but it was hard having him right here and opening up my heart for him to see. He'd always said he wanted to read my thoughts; well this was the closest he was going to get.
"Okay guys, we're all set, you can start now," one of the tech guys said.
I closed my eyes and tried to pretend the Cullens weren't there so I could sing the song properly. I heard the intro start and began singing.
Here's the thing We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been goneYou're dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long 'til I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone
How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way
But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone
You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want
Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone
In a way the song was true; I was moving on with my new family and if it weren't for him I probably wouldn't be here. First he had unwillingly introduced me to his kind, and then he had left me to be fixed by the band. I would never have been able to write such goods songs without something so emotional and passionate to sing about.
I finally opened my eyes and looked at the Cullens. They looked shocked and hurt; did they really believe I could just forget about them? I might be moving forward, but I clung to the past so tightly. Every minute I spent with them was precious. Now that I think about it, why do they even care if I'd moved on? They had left me.
We decided to do one of the songs I'd written this morning. It took a minute to set up, and then the music started.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Even though I had moved on with the band, that small part of me that clung to that past was broken deep inside of me. Sometimes at night I would cry myself to sleep, knowing that he was out there somewhere and didn't want me. I didn't look away from Edward this time, I spoke directly to him. He needed to know what he'd done to me, what he'd left behind.
"Great job guys, perfect as always, lets take 5", one of the music guys said. The rest of the band went into the tech room to talk to Dan and Pip, but I took a seat in the studio. I didn't feel like being in the centre of everything at the moment. I took out my song book, I took it with me everywhere, and started jotting down random lyrics.
Sorry if what Bella's saying doesn't make sense; she's all over the place at the moment. And I don't actually know the names of all the music stuff, so pm/review me if you have no idea what I'm talking about :)
Songs were 'Since You Been Gone' and 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' by Kelly Clarkson (Lets just ignore the fact Bella has brown eyes for now) ;)
Important:
I actually have two endings to this story, and I don't know which one to use, so I'm making a poll :) I'll give you a bit of info about each ending, then you can go to my profile and vote for either ending 1, ending 2 or both :)
Ending 1: This was the original ending so I think it flows a bit better than the other. It's pretty much the Bella gets upset, then her and Edward have one of their deep, romantic talks and get back together :)
Ending 2: This ending was written because I got the new Kelly Clarkson album, so I wanted to use some of her new songs, and I ended up changing the whole end plot. It still has the Bella gets hurt/upset bit, but she also pushes Edward away. They do end up back together eventually though. It includes another Edward POV and a Rachel POV :)
So, now you go vote! Please, it would be a major help to me :) I'll leave the poll up until Monday, and then I'll update either Monday or Tuesday. Sorry for the really long a/n :D
