Chapter Eight
Hinata hadn't been able to sleep well every night—she kept on having the same dream with the same setting. She got up everyday and noticed the changes on her face. The circles around her eyes grew darker, and the color on her cheeks slowly faded away. She had to go to the supermarket to buy make up to conceal the exhaustion on her face.
She didn't feel like attending classes. All the works she did were half-assed, and her mind was elsewhere during lectures from her teachers. Spring break was close, she thought, so why bother?
One day during recess, she decided to go the infirmary, telling the nurse that she wasn't feeling well. After given permission, she lied down on her side on the bed, facing the wall, and let the tears she had been holding on fall from her eyes.
She wanted to go home. She didn't want to stay at school feeling miserable. She wanted to lie in her bed under her warm blanket and cry as hard as she wanted to.
She heard the door open, and felt her heart beginning to pound against her chest when she heard Gaara asking for her.
"Is Hyuuga Hinata here?"
Gaara noticed how miserable Hinata looked when she walked in to the classroom every morning. Usually she looked lively with flushed cheeks and sparkles in her eyes. She greeted him, as always, but her smile failed to reach her gentle eyes.
After the school bell rang for recess, he looked behind him and saw that Hinata's desk was empty. He had expected to see her leaning face down on the table, pretending to sleep. He wondered if she went to the toilet. He turned towards the blackboard again and thought that she would be back soon.
When recess was almost over, he looked behind him and still he didn't see her sitting there. He grew worried. There was no way she could stay in the toilet that long. He looked around the classroom and saw Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino sitting and giggling together. He decided to approach them.
"You two."
Sakura and Ino froze and slowly looked at him. Fear was clearly written all over their faces.
"Have you seen Hyuuga Hinata?" he asked.
"We saw her going into the infirmary," said Yamanaka Ino, trying hard not to sound nervous.
"Thank you."
He quickly walked down the hallway and the staircase towards the infirmary. The school bell rang again by the time he went inside.
"Is Hyuuga Hinata here?" he asked the nurse while closing the door.
"Yes. She's resting over there." She replied softly, pointing at the bed to her left.
He murmured a thank you before walking over to where Hinata was resting. He opened the curtain to see her lying on her side while hugging both of her legs. Her long dark hair pooled down her back.
"You better go back to class, Hyuuga," he said.
"I don't think it's a good idea," the nurse said. "She's feeling ill."
"She's fine." He insisted.
Hinata slowly lifted herself from the bed, and turned her head to face him. Her eyes were red and puffy. Looking at her long face brought a sharp pain in his chest, but he kept his straight face.
"Let's go."
He walked towards the door and opened it for her. She slowly got up from the bed and miserably dragged her feet out of the infirmary.
"Thank you, sensei," he thanked before closing the door.
Hinata stood before him with begging teary eyes. "Please don't make me go back to class," she said very softly.
"We're not going back to class," he whispered before walking away.
She looked at him with a puzzled look on her face as she followed behind him. "Then…where are we—"
"We're going to the rooftop." He said. "Hopefully, you'll feel better there."
She didn't say anything for a while.
"How do you know?" she asked slowly.
"I just know."
The rooftop was wet when they got there. The rain had stopped, but the sky was still covered with dark clouds. Hinata had to hug herself to keep her warm because of the cold air. She was relieved that she wore over knee high socks to keep her legs warm.
He was right. Despite the cold weather, she did feel better there. The cool air filled her lungs, and her shoulders didn't feel as heavy as if the world had been lifted from her.
She stood by the railing next to him, feeling the cool wind in her hair while they both gazed over at the cramped city before their eyes.
They didn't say anything for a while, enjoying the silence between them, until he asked her what happened. She was hesitant at first, but slowly she began telling him about her frequent bad dreams. He listened carefully and said something when he needed to. Topics quickly changed from her nightmares to her mother. He would look away when tears fall from her eyes when she talked to him about her mother and how she died. His heart broke with every word that came out of her mouth and every tear that fell from her gentle eyes.
He lifted his hand and carefully set it on her shoulder, as if he was afraid that she would break with a single touch because of how fragile she was.
Hinata felt her cheeks redden, but she didn't move a muscle. She liked the feeling of his warm hand there on her shoulder.
They remained like that for a while, with his hand on her shoulder and the wind blowing, until the sun slowly peaked through the gray clouds.
"My mother is dead too," he said after he removed his hand from her. "She died after I was born, so I never really got to know her. I've only seen her in pictures, and she was really beautiful. She seemed happy too. My uncle told me that she was very kind and sweet and caring like all mothers are.
"I really believe that my father wouldn't be harsh on me and I wouldn't be like this if she lived. Throughout my life, I've always believed that I killed her. My father said so too. He hated me. I grew up learning to despise him. I never had the guts to hurt him, so I hurt other people instead. I hurt myself too. I became very dangerous, always getting in trouble during my junior high school years. I make enemies instead of friends. I'm better at it anyway. The rumors that you hear from everyone are true. I am a monster."
Hinata wanted to say something, but she couldn't form the correct words in her head. Fearing of saying the wrong words, she kept silent.
"But now I've come to understand why he hated me and blamed her death on me." He continued. "He loves her. He loves her from the bottom of his heart, and I can only imagine how devastated he was when she died. I don't hate him that much now after I've come to understand his feelings. I probably would feel the same if I lose someone whom I love so much." He scratched the back of his neck.
"I'm sorry to hear that," she said, looking at her fingers on the railing.
"Don't be."
Gaara didn't know why he told all those things to her. He was ready to see her walk away and never talk to him again, but she was still there standing next to him, listening to his story. He thought for a moment that maybe the reason why she stayed was because she was being polite and didn't want to make him feel bad, but he immediately eliminated that possible reason because he knew that she was a sincere person.
He felt very comfortable with her. It was the first time for him to feel comfortable with someone else. Growing up, he'd always been alone. It was him against the world. Being with Hinata gave him a warm feeling to his heart. He could spend his day with her just looking at the view of the busy city and talking only once in a while without receiving a weird look from her. Just by doing that made him feel content on the inside.
