Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

mostly cuddles and kisses in this one, and several nightmares. And then a real kick to the face.


Draco was sitting by the fire watching the potion in the cauldron boil. He sighed and glanced at Harry who was still sleeping for now. They had managed to survive a week since Harry had been kidnapped and attacked. The man who had attacked him had managed to kill himself in Azkaban. Reportedly upon finding that Harry was not the Golden Child he believed him to be his world simply didn't work anymore and therefore his life was not worth living. Draco and Harry really didn't pay much attention to the news.

Harry had been plagued by nightmares ever since coming home. The Dreamless Sleep Potion that Snape had given them soon ran out. In the past four days, the two of them had barely slept. Draco had resisted making the potion. The night before it took Draco two hours to calm Harry down enough for him to go back to sleep. Both of them needed at least one night of constant sleep soon. They were getting irritable and arguing over the tiniest of things. When Draco and Harry got into a full fledged shouting match about where the remote was, he finally gave in and agreed to make the Dreamless Sleep Potion for Harry.

Draco rubbed his eyes and yawned as he stared at the cauldron. Once it turned the dark blue that was needed he gently took it out of the fire place, set it on the stone in front of the fire place and ladled it into several bottles. He put in the corks, cleaned the cauldron, and put the bottles in a little row on the nearby table. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. He closed his eyes and felt himself dozing off when Harry cried out in his sleep. Draco's eyes popped open and he immediately rushed to Harry's side.

"It's all right Harry," he said gently putting his arms around Harry's shoulders. "I finished the potion while you were sleeping."

"What time is it?"

"It's about five in the morning. You need sleep, probably more than I do. It will be all right, you can sleep the day away." He gently stroked Harry's hair while he leaned against Draco's shoulder.

"Gods Draco, I need help."

"I know, I know. I've made the potion for you. Just give me a second and let me get some of it for you. It will be all right."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I need this..."

"Harry, it's all right. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. Accio potion." One of the bottles flew off the table and into Draco's hand. He pressed the bottle into Harry's hand. "It's your decision, but you need sleep." Harry uncorked the bottle but then hesitated.

"Will you stay with me while I sleep?" he asked tentatively.

"Of course I will. I'll always stay with you." Harry drank down the potion quickly and put down the bottle on the bedside table. Draco cradled Harry gently in his arms and lay down on the bed with him. Harry was asleep within minutes. Draco watched him sleep for another half hour and wished that they didn't have to use the potion to get a decent night's sleep. But soon Draco was asleep as well.

Draco woke up at twelve noon. Harry was still asleep. Draco carefully got out bed making sure he didn't wake Harry. He stretched his arms to the ceiling and breathed deeply. He pulled a robe over his t shirt and sleep pants and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He made himself a cheese sandwich and opened a soda for himself. He sat down at the table in the kitchen and ate. He started pondering what he was going to do today. Most of the day was gone, but he intended on making some potions. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned towards the door. A sleepy-looking Harry shuffled into view and walked towards Draco.

"Have a good nap?" asked Draco quietly. Harry didn't answer but continued shuffling forward. "Harry?" Harry walked into the kitchen and pulled at Draco's chair until his legs were out from under the table. Then Harry stepped between Draco's legs and sat down on one leg. He put his head down on Draco's shoulder and put his arms around his lover with a tired sigh. Draco gently held his lover and stroked his back. "Are you all right love?"

"No. Draco, you are the master at potions and I'm sorry for making you feed my habit."

"It's not feeding a habit..."

"Draco, you don't have to finish that sentence. I was an addict when you left. I kicked it. And now I need it so I can get to sleep. It's stupid. I'm making you make me the one thing that drove you away."

"Harry, I understand why you're doing it. Before it was to shut everyone out. This is different."

"Is it? Really? People have said that nightmares are because you don't talk to anyone about what's happening in your head or in your life. You bottle it and let it fester. You let it go too long; things just get worse and worse."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure what to do. Do they even make psychiatrists for wizards?"

"Of course they do." Harry looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Granted, it's not the most publicized thing in the wizarding world, unlike the muggle world, but there are still psychiatrists for wizards."

"At St. Mungo's?"

"Yeah, there are one or two there. There are a few others in private practice as well."

"Great, back to the magic world again."

"I think only a wizard would be able to understand some of the things you've gone through. If you want, I have a friend who's a wizard and a psychiatrist."

"Would I have to go near the magic world?"

"Actually no, he keeps his practice in a quieter corner of London. It's part of his whole therapy for wizards. Take them out of the situation that is probably causing most of the problems and that makes them more comfortable."

"How close of a friend is this guy?"

"Since three years old. We talk a lot and one night I asked about why he does what he does and how he does it, and he told me. And no, the man was never my lover. We're best friends and he's currently married with two kids."

"I didn't-"

"It's ok Harry. I don't care." He gently stroked Harry's cheek with his thumb. "I love you." Harry suddenly leaned in and kissed Draco for the first time since the kiss he had asked for when he first got home. Draco was surprised at first but then just relaxed into the kiss. Harry clung tighter to Draco as the kiss deepened. Draco held him closer. Suddenly Harry pulled away, stood, and tried to get out of Draco's arms.

"Draco, if you love me, you'll let me go," said Harry in a dark voice. Draco realized his mistake and quickly let go of Harry's body. Harry stumbled across the kitchen and steadied himself on the counter. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"It just is. People never get over something like this quickly. Not even you my love."

"Why can't magic just fix this? I just want it fixed."

"There isn't a quick fix for this one. It just doesn't exist."

"What about the memory erasing spell?" Draco cringed.

"That can go badly easily. And further more it won't fix it. Your mind will still know something happened, but you won't be able to figure it out. And eventually you will have to remember again."

"I don't have to remember. I don't want to remember. I'm going crazy because I remember."

"And if you forget, you will go even crazier trying to remember."

"That's not going to happen!" Harry whipped around with fire in his eyes.

"Yes it is."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've seen it done! I had a friend who wiped the memory of getting raped from his mind. It didn't help. He still felt horrible, he just couldn't remember why. It drove him crazy for days. He started believing that he was just destined to be unhappy. He killed himself. I still blame the fact that he erased the memory instead of dealing with it."

"I'm not him. I won't care not remembering this. And I won't feel horrible once it's gone."

"Yes, you will. It erases the memory. Not the emotions attached to it. You have to believe me, this is a really bad idea."

"But... it's the perfect idea, the perfect escape."

"No, it's not. It won't work. It's never worked for anyone." Draco dropped his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. "Let me call my friend and I'll set up an appointment for you. Believe me, it's the best way."

"Fine," said Harry in a defiant tone and left the room. Draco sighed and watched as he quickly walked past him. It wasn't until he heard Harry slam and loudly lock the door to his room that he realized that Harry hadn't given up. Draco sprinted up the stairs.

"Harry! Harry no! Harry please no!" He beat his fists on the door and continued screaming and hoped that he could distract Harry so that he couldn't do the spell. But then he heard the snap of the spell and he stopped screaming and banging on the door. He backed away until he hit the wall. The door opened and Harry looked up at him. Harry looked at him with a confused look. Draco felt his stomach sink through the floor as his knees gave out from under him and he sank to the floor.

"Draco?" asked Harry with a confused expression on his face. "What's going on?"

"What...?" said Draco between panicked breaths. "What..."

"Why do I feel so bad... so very bad... I... my heart hurts..." Harry said this with a strangled voice.

"It's all right..." said Draco trying to contain his panic.

"What... day is today?"

"What's the last day you remember?"

"I... remember going shopping... getting some groceries and making shrimp scampi... was it good?"

"Yeah... it was good..."

"When was that?"

"A week and a half ago." Harry looked at him wide eyed. He stared at the wand in his hand.

"What have I done?"

"It's all right... we'll fix this."

"How?" Draco was at a loss for words. All he knew was that he had to fix this. Harry had done wiped his memory of the past week and a half. He was tempted to leave it. Then the image of his friend being lowered into the grave entered his mind. He knew this couldn't be left.

"I don't know... but we'll find a way." He slowly stood, walked to Harry cautiously, and held him.