Starting off! Thanks to Fathommyeyes and Autumn1121 for the suggestions :) This couldn't have been done without you

!i!i!i!i!i!

Kiku picked at the loose strands of thread on Yong Soo's blanket. He'd just finished explaining to him and Yao about the date and could hardly look at them. He was told once that the best thing to do to help ease the stress of a situation was to tell someone, but the more people Kiku told the more embarrassed he felt about the entire situation. He looked at it like this: here he was, this boy – no, young man – who had never been on a date and could only talk about love as an outsider looking in. It was humiliating. Not to mention he was still a virgin. Not that that was a bad thing. He didn't mind being a virgin, because there was nothing wrong with that, and sexual intercourse itself looked like a terrifying endeavor. As in, they say the man's private enters the woman's private and easily comes out but what if – oh god – what if it got stuck? Like a bloated erection that just got too wide and – Kiku pinched his forefinger, he was letting his mind wander again.

"Well …" Yong Soo began. "I think it's simple, really."

Kiku looked up at him, a glimmer of hope twinkling in his eyes. "You have an idea?"

Yong Soo nodded. He stood, a hand on his hip, the other pointing at Kiku – he looked so determined and confident in the coming answer that Kiku found himself smiling along with Yong Soo … Until the answer came. "Just claim one of his body parts and you'll be set!"

Kiku practically crashed to the floor.

"That is a stupid idea, aru!" Yao snapped. "He wants to impress him, not attain a warrant for sexual assault, aru!"

Yong Soo grinned at Yao and sat back down. "It got me you, didn't it?"

Yao said nothing.

Wait a minute ….

"I thought you said he was your cousin," Kiku said.

There was a bloated silence in the room. Kiku and Yao both looked at Yong Soo in confusion. A nervous laugh escaped the Korean and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "About that …you see … he's actually my other half."

Kiku's eye twitched.

They were dating. Of course they were. Was everybody in his life now in some sort of romantic relationship? Just when he thought he could confide in people of his status it turned out they were – yet again – one step ahead of him on the social scale. He supposed that was okay but … it just felt so lonely sometimes. Because if things didn't work out with Heracles Kiku was back to being forever alone.

Yao's panda bear climbed out of its basket and curled up in Yao's lap. Even it felt a sense of love.

Yao sighed. "Why would you tell him that, aru?"

"I figured it would soften the blow …."

"Don't you sleep in the same bed?" Kiku asked quietly, picking at the strands once again. He didn't exactly feel comfortable asking such a personal question but it hurt to think that Yong Soo would kick him out when there was still room for him.

"Well Gun gun normally gets his own bed. Or at least that's how it was when I visited you in China, Yao."

"Gun gun?" Kiku asked.

Yao pointed to the small bear in his lap.

So he was evicted to make room for a panda bear. Gun gun was lucky he was so cute. Or … or Kiku would make a vocal complaint! And nobody wanted that.

Kiku nodded at Yao and pulled out his cell phone. It was almost nine. Matthew would be there for him soon. He let out a small sigh and put the phone away. What an unproductive trip. It was nice (?) seeing Yong Soo again, and meeting Yao but Kiku was hoping to leave with some sort of sense of assurance.

"I think maybe you should get him something, aru."

Still picking at the threads, Kiku peeked at Yao curiously.

"It's always nice to receive something on a date, aru. Maybe you could get him tasty Chinese treats or a stuffed animal – one that is really cute, aru!"

Kiku sat up. That was genius! He would give Heracles a gift to show his appreciation. Kiku recalled the Greek man with the cat that stole his bag and the way he interacted with it, and the cat-shaped fliers – he must have loved cats. Yes, that was it! He would get Heracles a cat plushy!

"Arigato!"


By the time Matthew arrived Kiku knew exactly what he was going to do. His date with Heracles was still four days away – that was plenty of time to execute his plan!

=(OwO)=

Heracles crashed onto the couch. He was so tired~! He knew his apartment wasn't the cleanest but he had no clue it was that messy. Halfway through the night Sadik had to go and get more garbage bags from his apartment. But, Heracles had to admit, it was worth it. He could see the floor, the cats were happy, It didn't smell like poop – though that took at least 100 cans of air freshener and Smell-B-Gone cat odour removal spray (which, by the way, he completely forgot he owned). His clothing was in his room, folded and neatly put into their proper places, the cupboards didn't cough dust anymore, and so on. It was actually nice.

Sadik sat next to him, Demeter in his lap. His head fell back against the couch and he groaned. "How the hell did you live in that? I'm surprised there isn't black mold growing everywhere."

"I didn't think it was that messy …" Heracles admitted.

"Well it was. And y'need to buy litter boxes, and train these creatures."

"Cats," Heracles hissed.

"Cats, creatures, same thing. You need to train them."

Heracles stood up and went to the cupboard. He didn't feel like arguing with Sadik. It took up too much air. He opened the small, wooden door – it was bare. Not a thing in there, not even for the cats. A stab of guilt went through him, it didn't help, either, when Heracles' green eyes fell upon the small pile of collected bills. He was behind on his rent and the only reason he was still able to stay in the apartment was by the grace of the landlord's heart. She loved cats. Hell, when you've got it, flaunt it. But her patience would only ware so thin.

Since Sadik ordered him to deal with the papers he didn't see the bills – and Heracles didn't want him to. Heracles shoved the papers between a stack of papers to the side, went back to the living room and found Athena sitting in his seat. He frowned. "I was sitting there."

She mewed but didn't move.

"It's shedding on the chair we just cleaned," Sadik complained.

"She," Heracles hissed.

Sadik looked at him for a second before casting his attention back to Demeter. "What were you doing in there?" He asked.

"Looking over some … things," Heracles took a seat on the floor instead. He petted the cats that brushed against him and sighed. "There's no food here … at all."

Heracles felt Sadik's eyes on him. "Well I noticed that. What are you going to do?"

He was going to wait for his psipsina to move in. He'd be able to help with stuff like food and bills. They would live together like a happy couple, adopt cats, fuck, wake up together, fuck, make art together, fuck, shower together – while they fucked, the works.

It was a few days after their date and Kiku was visiting the apartment. He'd complimented Heracles on how clean it was and how nice it looked, the small Japanese man even went out of his way to personally meet every one of his cats. It was so cute to watch~. But when his psipsina offered to cook for him, that was when he realised … shit just got real – things were meant to be.

Kiku was in kitchen standing over the stove. He stirred gracefully at the contents of the pot and smiled – the same cute smile that sent Heracles' heart into a frenzy. The Greek man was entranced by the other, how the lights on the stove overhead hit his face and made his silky hair look silkier, the way his psipsina's milky skin flushed at the heat of the stovetop, the way his lips looked when he put his little tasting spoon to them. Kiku's beauty was statuesque. Heracles sighed lovingly.

Kiku was given a start. He turned to Heracles and his small smile broadened. "It's almost ready," he announced, offering a steaming spoonful – but not before he blew at the hot food.

Heracles crossed the kitchen, he stopped at Kiku and allowed his psipsina to feed him. It was delicious! A lazy smile turned on his lips as he licked away any stray drops. "It's delicious, psipsina." The Greek man took the utensil from Kiku's hand and placed it on the counter carefully. Heracles curled his arms around Kiku's waist and pulled him closer. He leaned in to kiss the Japanese man and the other accepted the gesture with a small laugh.

"You're going to make me burn the food," he chuckled lightly.

"Then we'll make more," Heracles purred and kissed him again, harder this time.

His psipsina stood on his tippy-toes and let his own arms snake over Heracles' shoulders and around his neck. The two of them indulged in each other, Kiku playing the submissive role as Heracles took over. His tongue mapped the inside of Kiku's mouth like it was a complex world to be discovered.

Kiku was a bit clumsy in the kiss, his teeth occasionally bumping against Heracles but it was adorable, nonetheless. Everything his psipsina did was adorable.

They fumbled backwards as Heracles led him to the counter. He lifted Kiku onto the flat surface and, finally, pulled away from a breath. His psipsina was panting, his face a pale pink as he stared at Heracles through lust-fogged eyes.

Heracles smirked. "Isn't someone horny~" he teased.

Kiku's face turned a deeper hue of pink and Heracles laughed. "Not denying it I see. That's okay, you don't have to, psipsina." Heracles went in for the kiss once again, his hand now wandering into Kiku's pants. The Greek man was instantly greeted by the heat of Kiku's member against his hands. "Quite horny …."

Kiku sheepishly bit at his thumb nail. "P-please just touch me, Heracles."

Heracles would never argue with such a polite (and mutually agreeable) request. He squeezed his hand around Kiku's cock and … … … … …. Heracles' face scrunched in bemusement. It was furry. What in the hell?

He looked up at Kiku but it wasn't Kiku's face that met his eyes, it was the face of an angry, hissing cat. Its human hand clawed out at him and slashed at his wrist. Heracles jumped back. He closed his eyes and rubbed at the newly acquired injury. When he opened them again Zeus was there. His tail pulled to the side, teeth bared.

Heracles looked around. Sadik was watching him, the most disturbed look painted his face and for the longest of moments they just stared at each other.

Well … this … was awkward.

"What in the hell was that?" Sadik asked.

There was no point in lying – he'd already been caught in the act. "Fantasising."

"That's fucking nasty. I'm not even going to lie to you."

Heracles blinked and puffed out his cheeks a bit. He shrugged. There was nothing he could do about it now. "I don't see why …."

Sadik cleared his throat and pointed to the space between Heracles' legs, eyebrows raised.

Heracles looked down. Shit. He was erect.

"And in addition to that: the noises you were making." Sadik got to his feet and put Demeter next to Athena. "I'm going to my place for a bit – mainly because I don't want to sit here and listen to you pant about this 'Kiku/Pee-Passee-na' person while you're tending to yourself. I'll be back in half an hour."

The first thing Heracles did when he heard the front door close was rush to the washroom, box of tissues in hand.


As promised Sadik came back. It was just passed 11 and he was loaded. His arms were filled with grocery bags. He didn't even wait for Heracles to let him in. The Turkish man pushed his way past and put the bags on the floor in the living room. Immediately they were swarmed by all fifteen cats. They meowed loudly and scratched and pawed at the bags.

Heracles looked at Sadik curiously as he tried to swat them away.

"Some help would be nice!" Sadik called.

Heracles shut the door. "Not barging into my house would also be nice," he muttered and closed the door.

He walked over to Sadik and knelt over the bags, gently pushing the cats back. He sifted through the bags. Heracles had to stifle a gasp. It was cat food, litter, litter boxes, a training guide, food dishes, milk, cat toys, collars, in addition to the bread and canned goods – this could not have been cheap. Heracles looked up at Sadik. The Turkish man had his arms folded over his chest.

"No 'thank you'?" he said, sounding a bit annoyed.

Heracles didn't know what to say. He'd have never thought that Sadik would go to such lengths for him—

"It's not for you, it's for the creatures. I just figured I should pick up some of the other stuff because the creatures can't feed themselves. They need you alive."

Oh. Well whether or not Sadik tried to play off the gesture it was still nice. Heracles would have hugged him if the idea wasn't such a turn off. So he settled with a thank you instead.

They unpacked in silence until Sadik spoke up. "The interviews start tomorrow. That's also why I'm doing all of this – don't think it's because I like you."

Heracles nodded. He'd already gotten the point that none of this kindness was directed to him. "I know."

"The last thing you need is people coming here and seeing a junkyard instead of a home."

"I know." Not like it mattered, though. None of the people coming were going to get a call back. The spot was reserved for his psipsina.

Sadik opened the fridge and put away the milk. He closed the fridge door and sighed. Something was coming. All of this meaningless small talk usually meant that Sadik had something on his mind. When he wasn't being such an asshole he could actually be a good person, Heracles found. Right now, was one of those moments. The Turkish man was building to a question that was clearly troubling him.

"So ..." And so it began. "Who is Kiku? A crush?"

"I guess you could say that," Heracles answered. He put another bag of cat food into the healed cupboard.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Heracles looked at him. "You mean that you want to know about him."

Sadik met his gaze. "'Him'? Kiku is a boy? You're gay?"

Heracles shrugged. "I guess."

No reply followed as Sadik went to Heracles' side to help him put the rest of the food away. "You must like him a lot to go into heat right in front of me. I should make you pay me for visually and verbally assaulting me."

Heracles turned back to the bags and started organising the cans on the other side of the kitchen. He ignored the latter comment. "I do. I love him."

The room got awkwardly silent for the second time that night. "It was love at first sight," Heracles continued.

"Does he know?"

"I don't know … I only asked him out."

"Props to you."

From behind him Heracles heard shuffling and a sigh. He glanced behind him and saw Sadik leaning against the counter. " Are you being sarcastic?"

"No. If you have a crush it means I can finally get you out of my life … not to mention I was having a pool with myself that something like this would never happen. You're practically a gender-bent cat lady."

Heracles snorted. "Thanks."

"But I mean it, good for you. I hope things go well. When are you going out – not tomorrow I hope."

Heracles shook his head. "Friday."

"Where to?"

The moment Heracles met Kiku he knew exactly 'where to'. In the middle of town there was this café was – a cat café – run by an old Japanese couple. He was a regular down there, and he knew Kiku would love it! Because someone as cute as his psipsina with animals as cute as cats only equalled sheer love. "I'm bringing him to a cat café."

Sadik bit his bottom lip. "Right. Why would I think any differently? Can you afford to?"

And that was where the problem roused. Heracles was flat broke. He was hoping that through loans from the bank and maybe, hopefully, Sadik, he'd be able to bring his psipsina there and even buy him something nice afterwards. "Not exactly …."

"Again, why would I think any differently? … I guess … if you're low on cash I can loan you some."

"Really?" Heracles couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew that Sadik had his moments but this, this was fantastic! To think that he was going to actually loan him money for the date~ it was beautiful! Yes, beautiful! Sadik not only supported him but he was offering to help~! Bliss~! Pure bliss~! The Greek man beamed – he was going to do it! Heracles was going to hug Sadik! He advanced on the Turkish man and gave him the biggest hug ever!

"This means the world to me. Thank you!"

Sadik shoved him away. Despite the harsh action he was smiling a little bit. "Hey! I am not doing this for you, don't feel so special."

Heracles laughed. "Right … thanks, Sadik. Really." He smiled. "This means a lot to me."

=(OwO)=

It was Wednesday night – and strike one.

The date was only two days away. Kiku sat at the desk in his room; he poked into the fur of the black and white cat plushy in his hand. He'd bought it for Heracles earlier that day; Kiku even took the time to curl some of the strands on top of its head to mimic Heracles'. He smiled at the toy. It had green eyes, too. Just like Heracles'. Kiku knew for sure the Greek man would love it. Because if he didn't … that would mean Kiku misjudged many things about Heracles and to know so would be mortifying.

He stroked at the soft hairs when suddenly he heard a light humming coming from the hallway. It was an unusual noise, like a machine, but the only other 'people' in the house were Gilbird and Kumajiro. Gilbert dragged Matthew to his house and Alfred was (probably )out with Professor Kirkland.

Kiku put the toy down and exited his room, as he stepped into the hallway he noticed Gilbird and Kumajiro gazing out of the window. Kumajiro was propped up on his hind legs, clinging to the sill while Gilbird sat on his head.

Curiously, he approached the two of them. As he drew closer Kiku noticed a bright red light shining above the yard. It was hovering and hummed quietly amongst the nocturnal ambience. Kiku recognised the noise instantly. It was the same one he'd heard from his room.

Kumajiro twisted his torso and scrutinised the Japanese man before turning back to the window. "It's Tony," Kumajiro said.

Gilbird chirped.

The bear talked?

"N-nani?"

"He's come to say hello," Kumajiro whispered.

Kiku stopped where he was – or maybe he stopped before. There was a distance between him, and the two animals, and the window. Why? Because something was so very off about this entire situation: Kumajiro and Gilbird standing before the window, their bodies' eerie silhouettes against the red light that was now descending towards them. … WAIT WHAT? Kiku jumped back. It was coming towards them! They needed to run! They needed to go! They needed to –

The light was at the window already. Kiku panicked, how had it moved so quickly? He hadn't contemplated what to do before Kumajiro began to lift the window. The light – no longer one light but many lights attached to one large, round object – lowered some more. Something hissed, and then popped. A rectangle beam of light progressively expanded along its surface and the entire hallway was illuminated.

Kiku dropped to his knees and prayed.

Oh, lord how he prayed.

And he wasn't even Christian.

He heard the sound of footsteps clinking down what Kiku could only assume to be some sort of metal platform. The sound came to an end at what Kiku could only assume to be the window. And then there was a plop on what Kiku could only assume was the hall floor.

He dared to glance up and practically shrieked.

There, standing before him, was an alien. Small and slender, gray like a rainy day with ruby red eyes one third the size of its head.

"Hello," the alien said.

"H-hello …" Kiku stuttered.

"I'm Tony, Alfred's best friend."

"I-I am Kiku, Alfred's friend."

The alien, Tony, randomly pulled a cell phone looking device from out of nowhere. His frail –looking fingers tapped along the screen and he flipped it around for Kiku to see. It was Facebook.

Tony turned the phone so the screen was once again facing him and his fingers began to tap vehemently.

"Status update," Tony stated aloud. "I just met Kiku - Alfred's human friend. He isn't a shit fuck like Arthur." Beep. "It's set."

Alfred? Arthur? Professor Kirkland? What was happening? There were only two relatively normal solutions here: 1) he was dreaming.

"Am I dreaming?" Kiku asked, his tone bordering on more of a plea.

Tony shook his head. "Nope."

Well that ruled out number one. Okay. Solution 2) He was being Punk'd.

"Am I being Punk'd?"

"Uh … nope."

Oh, wait. Actually there was a solution 3. It was hidden. Solution 3) faint.

Because aliens were not real and bears did not talk. That was the way the world worked. All of these things Kiku was encountering were all impossibly impossible. And he refused to believe any of it. He couldn't believe any of it – his mind was overriding and he was pretty damn sure that there were sparks flying out of his ears.

Kiku did not compute.

So he fainted.

Strike one.

!i!i!i!i!i!

So this story is going on a different route than I thought – for those of you being so patient: I'm sorry and thank you for staying. NO, this is not becoming Sci-fi but I really like the cannon pets (which I'm counting Tony in in this instance) and I didn't wanna turn 'em into stuffed animals so yeah … trust me this is going somewhere! That 'strike one' line means something, I swear!

But like I was saying: I am really sorry for the slow updates and I'm really grateful for the patience you have :') Unless you forgot this story was on your list until you saw it was updated, either way =D thank you!