3 hours.

180 minutes until she arrived.

I was lying on my brother's couch, watching "PONPONPON" for what seemed like the 143rd time. God, when was that idiot Denmark going to bring Iceland back? For the past day and a half, I had been the only one occupying Iceland's house, save for Mr. Puffin. I had taken advantage of this time alone to go through his things.

I had found out that he likes to read a lot of romance novels.

But I was beginning to grow bored, being here all by myself. Furthermore, I was really worried about what Denmark was doing to my brother.

Oh, speak of the devil.

The noisy dane burst through the unlocked front door without knocking.

"NORGE~Y! I BROUGHT BACK YOUR BROTHER!"

I stood up and made my way over to the door.

"I taught him a LOT about romance. Plus, I invited Prussia and Germany over for a movie night! It was AWESOME!"

I turned to look at my brother. His eyes were dead and emotionless, and his skin kind of reminded me of a fish. Plus, his mouth was hanging open like a carp, further legitimizing my comparison.

"Well? What did you learn? She's gonna be here soon, so..."

"B-bodies...sh-should NOT bend like th-that...And humans...should N-NOT violate d-dogs...and I...I don't w-want to eat p-poop..." he muttered under his breath.

"Denmark, tell me the truth. Did you show him some of that gross porn you have?"

"Maybe?"

I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and sighed. Iceland had curled up into the fetal position and was shaking like a leaf.

"Iceland, pull yourself together. We only have two and a half hours left!"

No response.

"Iceland, pull yourself together or I'll show her embarassing pictures of you when she comes."

No response.

"Iceland, pull yourself together and I'll make waffles."

Iceland stood up slowly and headed towards the kitchen.

And so, I spent the next two and a half hours making and eating waffles with my brother and that annoying Dane. We watched some disney channel as well. I would never admit this to anyone, but I kind of like Wizards of Waverly Place.

Then, the doorbell rang for the second time.

"Go answer it, Iceland." I nudged him.

"Why me?"

"It's your love interest!"

"Fine."

He got up and ran to the door, opening it slowly. I craned my neck to get a better view of the girl. She had blonde, wavy hair cropped into a bob, with a red ribbon tied like a headband. Her eyes just lit up when she saw Iceland.

"Hi! I'm so excited to meet you in person! You're so cute!" she giggled, flinging her arms around his neck.

His face turned several shades of red and he struggled to spurt out any words.

Eventually, he managed, "H-hi, nice to meet you."

She laughed and let go of him. "Where should I put my things?"

"Er, follow me."

Iceland led her through the house, and she waved at us while passing through the living room.

I laughed a little, in spite of myself.

As they entered the bedroom, Belgium shut the door.

Denmark looked at me. "How are we gonna spy on them if they-"

"Shut up. I have a plan."

I had drilled holes in each of the doors in order to eavesdrop on them.

We both ran up to the door and pressed our eyes against the two holes.

Belgium was unpacking, and having a one-sided conversation with Iceland, who had locked up with nervousness.

"And my brother didn't want me to come, but nothing gets in my way of a cute guy!" she giggled.

"I'm...cute?" Iceland questioned, totally deadpan.

"Well, yeah! Otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?"

"I...guess not? Wait here, I'll go get drinks or something."

"I'd like wine if you have it!"

"I think the options are tap water and cola."

"Okay, then I'll have some cola!"

Iceland exited the room without warning, causing both Denmark and I to topple over on the ground.

"WHY ARE YOU GUYS WATCHING ME!"

"Iceland, listen." I said as calmly as possible. "I took the liberty of buying you some wine, so have a glass before you go back in there."

"But...I've never had alcohol before..."

"The drunker you are, the less nervous you'll be."

"O-okay."

Denmark and I eagerly watched him down the glass.

"GO ICEY! CHUG, CHUG, CHUG~"

I got annoyed and clamped my hand over Denmark's mouth.

Iceland evidently couldn't handle his alcohol very well, because he was already starting to look a little tipsy.

"Now go in there and say 'Let's have sex.'" I encouraged him.

"Oh...uh, okay..."

He stumbled into the room with another glass of wine in hand, presumably for Belgium.

"Let's have sex!"

"Okay!"

"Um...now what?"

"Well, we have sex, silly!"

"And how does that..."

I watched my drunken brother's eyes widen as he remembered the boobies video and all that porn Denmark, Germany, and Prussia had shown him.

"WAITI'LLBERIGHTBACK!"

And with that, he ran headfirst into the door.

AN - Well, that was fun to write!

I'd like to thank the inspiration fairy for the idea.

AND MY LOVELY READERS. ALL OF YOU.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE SOONER.