A/N: Hello you all! Thanks for your patience with this extended wait. Returning to the working world has definitely been a transition for me, and I've spent a lot of time playing catch up. This chapter is rather long, and a lot of it is rehashing parts of the past few chapters (but I also see it as a good memory refresher since it's been so long since I've updated.) Hope you enjoy!

8. Friends or Whatever

Epov

My behavior had been reckless and inexcusable. And while I hoped Bella was convinced that my presence in her room had been a dream, I knew as she peered down into the darkness from her window in search of me that she wasn't fooled.

I had seriously considered not returning to school the next day…or not returning at all. What was I thinking? The trouble was, I hadn't been thinking…with my head anyway.

It was increasingly difficult to be rational where Bella was concerned. The scent of her blood invited me like the most wicked of addictions. That's what she had become to me – an addiction, more potent than any drug.

Her body was warm and inviting beneath my own, so tempting and sweet, and her voice was rich with lust, calling for me, begging for me…

It was no excuse. I shouldn't have been there to begin with. And as if my silence in biology class would quell any of her doubts, I remained as quiet as a church mouse.

"That was a very naughty thing you did last night, Edward," she said after an eternity of silence.

My posture straightened as the sensual undertones in her voice bypassed my brain and shot down like a thunderbolt straight to my groin. Yes, Bella, I longed to say. I am a very naughty boy.

Voices thundered in my consciousness, distracting my attention free from her hypnotic flirting. Don't blow this, Edward, the imagined voices seemed to beg. I could not only see the disapproving face of my adoptive father, but also my siblings, pleading with me not to give them another reason to be uprooted from their home again.

I had to force the words from my mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"The fuck you don't."

Her response was so crude…and vulgar…and hot. "Nice language," I replied, disguising the heat I felt from her response with the disapproval I was supposed to feel. It was adorable how she contained her anger, and almost perverse how much I wanted to witness that angelic face burst into an explosion of ire. Surely, I was a monster.

She continued her efforts in trapping me in my lie, questioning my multiple denials. Poor darling should have known what a good liar I was by now.

When Bella said she would see me tonight, I'd already decided that last night's mistake could not be repeated. It would be difficult to stay away from her; this I knew for sure, but I could handle it. I had to.

The temptation was unholy that night as my nostrils absorbed that irresistible scent of her blood close at her window. She was waiting for me. Keeping my distance a few houses down, I fought myself for hours, steeling against the urge to pass through the small entrance like a common thief. It would only take seconds to make it to her window, and once inside the haven of her bedroom, I would once again be encompassed by her devilish aroma.

It was unnerving, knowing it was more than just her blood that I wanted. My body ached for the promise of release I desired giving her.

The next day in class, she looked as awful as I felt. She was craning her neck back and forth, massaging her fingers into her shoulders and neck, as though she was trying to soothe sore muscles. Had she slept wrong? Bella looked tired and irritated. But she was adorable, even still. Although I knew that those groans were from her aches and pains, the fact that her noises turned me on was only a testament to what a pervert I was.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wishing my hands could replace hers and rub soothing circles into her flesh.

What she did next took me by surprise – shocked me, actually. She hissed. Bella was a wildcat seated beside me, dark eyes laced with fury as she threatened me with her primal warning. The action was utterly feral, and unwittingly I imagined her as a newborn vampire.

That was a no-no of monumental proportions. I could not afford to ever think that again. I was already half expecting one of Alice's visions to rear its ugly head.

But even after Bella turned away from me, I was still in awe. "Did you just…hiss… at me?" I asked dumbly. I saw it but still couldn't believe it.

Still in wildcat mode, she shot me a look of disdain.

"I would pay good money to know what's going on in that mind of yours," I uttered, half joking, but she either ignored me or tuned me out. I imagine any teenage boy may have been put off by her attitude, but I was thoroughly fascinated. And fascinated I remained as she shuffled through her backpack for something, her fingers digging into every last pocket as though her life depended on it.

"Do you need something?" I asked, unable to keep rein of my curiosity. Good money, I tell you.

"Unless you have the ability to make chocolate appear out of thin air, I don't want anything from you."

That was definitely not what I expected, but I shouldn't have been surprised by anything Bella Swan said or did by now. As I watched her slender fingers tear into a crumpled yellow bag of M&M's, I was struck by something that was comparable to déjà vu. Alice's vision: I was loading boxes and boxes of chocolate coated peanuts, no, sneaking would be a better word, into her blue Chevy truck in the parking lot.

Well, that wasn't going to happen, I decided. I wasn't dating this human, nor should I be giving her gifts…no matter how badly she wanted chocolate at the moment.

Oh, Edward, Alice thought, the smile evident in her mind. Very charming.

This was infuriating. I wanted to scream out to my clairvoyant sister and her intrusive thoughts. Purposely, I forced contrary thoughts just so that annoying vision would shift. It didn't. Alice didn't have any visions after that, and as she replayed the picture of me stacking those cartons neatly onto Bella's seat, I found the strange little smile on my face highly disturbing.

Stop it, Alice! I wished she could read my thoughts for once. My mind was made up –the vision had no merit. I was definitely not going to buy Bella chocolate. What I needed was to return to my original resolve, placing as much distance between her and me as possible.

I told myself it was ridiculous to find relief at the rejection she gave Mike Newton. She had every right to go to the prom with whomever she wanted, yet the thought of Bella in the arms of another male made the venom boil inside my body. It was irrational for me to want to kill every last boy at Forks High who pictured her in their mind. Nevertheless, I shoved away these urges and chose not to speak to her.

By Friday, the tension was palpable between us, and since I'd opened the dialogue with Bella, it was nearly impossible not to speak to her. I kept my focus on my work when close to the end of class she slammed her pencil down onto her textbook. Even though I felt her gaze burrowing into my face, my eyes remained on the page of my book.

"I just want to know one thing."

Sigh. This again. "I already told you. I wasn't in your room," I lied again, resisting the urge to look at her.

"No. Not about that. I want to know why you bothered saving me from the van?"

My gaze snapped to the confusion in hers as I processed her choice of words. Bothered? As if I had a choice. Well, to hear anyone else tell it, I had, but once I'd seen it play out in Alice's mind, there was no other option. I couldn't risk her blood being spilled and the aftermath of the ensuing vampire attack.

And then her next words sent the equivalent of a paralyzing shock through my system. "I can see you regret it."

My mouth fell open in disbelief at such a nonsensical statement. "You think that I regret saving your life?" Every inch of me felt as though it would burst out of my skin, and my hands balled into tight fists.

"Well, yeah."

So, she thought I was a monster, after all. In her eyes, I'd become the very thing I'd rebelled against for almost a century. I couldn't even stand to look at her with this new knowledge. Class wasn't over yet, but no mortal could make me stay, and I gathered my things. But before I left, I did tell her one thing: "You don't know anything about me."

After making an excuse to Mr. Banner to use the restroom, I was gone. What had it mattered that there were still two classes left? I got into my car and was likely halfway home before the bell rang.

For the rest of the day, I spoke to no one. In the privacy of my room, I sulked and raged, though I knew everyone heard my every step, every curse uttered from my lips. Jasper, bombarded by my fierce emotions, had done his best from the other side of the door, urging me to talk it out, but I was too enraged by what Bella said, and I was not ready to discuss it with anyone. And as far as I knew, I may never be.

On Saturday - day two of my self imprisonment, my curiosity became piqued by Emmett's thoughts – not his thoughts, but the silly jingles or syllables he put into play whenever he was hiding something from me. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to wallow when a variety of show tunes kept playing in his mind. That's when I realized he hadn't been the only one who'd been keeping their thoughts in check; Alice had as well.

There were times when Alice and Emmett were my biggest conspirators. Often the two paired up to play practical jokes on me, taking advantage of Alice's foresight. I suppose when one existed for as many years as us, the things we did to pass the time sometimes meant the difference between boredom and contentment. It broke up the day to day drudgery, but this time, I had a bad feeling about their secrecy.

"Emmett?" I called out, hardly raising my voice and confident he could hear me.

Yeah?

"What are you two up to?" I asked, still in my same sulking position on the couch. I hadn't moved.

"Nothing." Flintstones, meet the Flintstones – they're the modern stone-aged family.

Dammit. Not the Flintstones. "You're hiding something, Emmett, and I'm going to find out what it is. Where's Alice?"

From the town of Bedrock – it's a place right out of history…let's ride with the family down the street…

Sigh. Emmett wasn't giving anything away, and I couldn't pick up on Alice's thoughts - she was clearly out of my range. And then Emmett's train of thought was now directed to me.

So, are you going to give Jasper a break already?

It was exactly one second later when I heard Emmett outside my door telling Jasper that he would handle it. I had to admit that even though I had no intention of discussing anything with him, I was very interested in how my adopted brother thought he was going to handle me.

"Go away," I said to the door.

"Edward, how long you gonna stay in there?"

"Does it matter?"

"Man. You're really sweet on this girl."

In a millisecond I was at my door, appalled and defensive. "No, I'm not. You don't know what you're talking about."

I think I do. And you've got it bad.

Emmett had a talent for pushing my buttons. I opened the door, shooting fire from my eyes into the damnable smile spreading across his face. "It isn't what you think, Emmett."

He placed his hands on his hips. "Then what is it? Cuz, you know, I've known you a long time, and I've never seen you like this."

Heaving a sigh, I turned back around into my room, listening as Emmett's footsteps trailed behind me. "She thinks I'm a monster. And you know what bothers me? Maybe she's right."

"Did she say that?"

"No, but she didn't have to."

"Wait, I thought you couldn't read her mind."

"I lied to her, Emmett. I told her we couldn't be friends. I ignored her. She wanted to know why I even bothered saving her life."

"And this upset you so much because… you like her."

"No."

"C'mon. I've seen the way you look at her, Edward. And it's not about what's inside her pants."

His golden eyes burrowed into me with that lovable oaf-like quality that he possessed. Emmett knew me too well…and dammit, he was right. "I'm an asshole, aren't I?"

He braced his large arm around my shoulder, grabbing me into a headlock and proceeded to give me a noogie. "Yes, you are, but I'm pretty sure I know how you can fix it."

And so it came to pass, Alice's vision came true. I didn't even have to buy the candy. While Emmett was forcing me to come to terms with my feelings, Alice was at the grocery store, claiming the bulk of their and a few other supermarket chains M & M supplies. Soon, I couldn't wait to pack those cartons into her truck, already anticipating the smile on Bella's face as she opened up her door. As I lined up the yellow boxes neatly into rows on the seat and on the floor, I found myself grinning like an idiot…just like I'd seen in Alice's mind.

It was quite liberating. I liked her. I could finally admit this to myself. Was it so wrong? I could kill her, be tempted every second by her blood and suck the life out of her luscious body, but I was fairly sure I had better control than that. For God's sake, I'd already mounted her on her bed once. The trick was I couldn't let this get out of control. I couldn't afford to let my feelings for her get in the way of her safety. It was simple, really. And all this candy was a testament to that.

During lunch I sat with my family, painfully aware that Bella was refusing to look at me. How could I blame her? Still, my eyes wouldn't leave her face as I processed every smile, every frown, every thoughtful look that passed her features. I was almost tempted to move the candy from the truck to our lab table. Having her be angry with me was unbearable…

At last, she stood and dumped her trash, and when her eyes met mine, I felt a glimmer of hope, realizing at the same time how ridiculous it was that my happiness hinged on her opinion of me. I smiled hopefully, but she didn't smile back. She no longer looked angry, but surprised.

In biology, I waited impatiently for her to arrive, and when she took her seat, she kept her eyes far away from me.

"Hi, Bella," I said, swallowing back what felt like a frog in my throat. I couldn't ever remember feeling nervous around a female.

"Hi," she said back, her tone cold.

"I just wanted to apologize… for the way I've been acting."

Her features softened. "I'm sorry I hissed at you."

My lips curled upward. I wasn't sorry – I was shamefully turned on by the hissing. But then even though I should've just left it at that, I had to rip the Band-Aid from the wound. "It's just that… I think it's better this way."

"Fine," she spat. This made her angry, and now I knew there was nothing I could say to make it up to her. She hated me for sure. In the parking lot, I watched from my Volvo where I had a clear view of her close to the exit, bidding the M&M's to work their chocolatey magic.

The scowl on her face transformed into an o of surprise, and at last the warm, inviting smile came over her lips. Before she could look for me, I'd already pulled out of the parking lot.

I burned with curiosity that evening, paying special attention to Alice's thoughts and visions for insight. Unfortunately, when there was a vision it was only a repeat of the one I'd seen on that first day of school. Nothing more. And I so desperately wanted there to be more…

On what I felt was the most important day in my life, I had to wait to see her again. I stayed away from her room, only to ditch school to shield myself from the curse of the sun's rays.

I'd made a decision. Staying away from her was painful. By lunch the following day, I decided to leave it up to her. Bella should have some say, after all. After beckoning her over to me at a table for two, I laid it all out there for her.

"So unless you order me away, Bella, you're going to have to deal with me."

She responded that she could handle me. I knew the ridiculousness of the real truth and what she believed, but still couldn't bring myself to retreat from her presence. It worried me. My mouth was running away with itself again. In class, I offered to drive her to Seattle…as friends. So there we were, friends, with the understanding that it would not become more serious than that. However, a wrench was thrown into our new found friendship when she invited me to La Push with the despicable Newton and the gang. If I was trying to appear normal, I couldn't very well tell her about the treaty with the wolves. And as much as I didn't want to lie to her any more, I ended up fabricating plans with Emmett.

Turns out she didn't want to wait until the weekend, suggesting we get together after school, which made me ridiculously happy. It was an idea that filled me with hope, and lust, and anxiety. We could do homework, she said, or watch movies, or play games. A smile appeared, unbidden on my lips.

"I like games," I told her. It wasn't just the idea of engaging in Checkers or Chess; I genuinely wanted to spend time with her, despite the activity. It didn't sound sensible, and surely Alice could already see the outcome, though I was not picking up anything from her. And now, I wondered how I would fare, with the chief not due back for hours. Still, it was more than tempting, but I needed to stall, give myself time to convince myself that being alone with her in her home was a very bad idea. Tomorrow, after school, I told her. Bella seemed happy with that, and it only took two minutes into Mr. Banner's lecture before I was struck by another of Alice's visions.

We were in Bella's room on her bed. She'd settled herself onto my lap, her lips had met mine, and at the very moment when our tongues connected, I'd lost control. To my horror, the next thing I saw in my sister's mind were my hands braced against Bella's white cheeks, her eyes wide open in shock and fear as my mouth found the artery only inches south. The worst thing was that it only took seconds before I'd drained her body of more than half of her blood… before I'd found the sense to stop and see what I'd done.

I was faced with two choices: ending this desirable girl's life and hiding her body…or…rushing her to the hospital, with hopes that Carlisle could administer enough blood to save her.

Both options would inspire another relocation…and the likelihood of Bella's demise. I couldn't risk it. That was when Alice's mental voice burst in.

You can avoid all that, dummy. Just don't kiss her. And be careful.

Leave it to Alice. Instead of warning me to stay away from the human, Alice was hell bent on making her the next member of our family. She was impossible with her misguided notion that one day she and Bella would be as close as sisters.

Bella and I didn't speak for the rest of the hour, which was how I preferred it. Vision or no vision, I couldn't bring myself to back out of our after school date, but I could remind her that she had a choice.

The bell rang when I spoke again. "It's not too late to change your mind."

She looked at me, her eyes curious. "About tomorrow?"

"About staying away from me." I narrowed my eyes, hoping to frighten her with my intensity.

As I predicted, she wasn't impressed. She rolled her eyes as she gathered her belongings. "I already told you. You don't scare me."

With a sigh, I wondered if she was born without survival instincts. "Silly girl."

"Bye, Edward. See you tomorrow."

With that, she headed past me, taking her delicious scent with her. "Bye, Bella."

Much like the weekend before, I sat in my room, brooding that night. It was fast approaching the witching hour – the time I'd identified as the chief's sleep time. In my head, I heard the gentle thudding of two individual heart beats and the steady exhalations which managed to drown out the patter of rain outside.

I'm not going to see her tonight. I'm not going to see her tonight. I'm not going to see her tonight. This had become my new mantra. I absolutely could not risk her life by visiting her. Why had Alice not understood this? Why were Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle not guarding my door and window, making every effort to restrain this immense temptation?

By midnight, I sauntered down to find Alice and Jasper watching late night television.

"I was thinking of visiting Bella…."

Alice barely looked up at me. "Yeah."

"Well, you haven't had any visions…."

The corner of her lip curled up on one side, revealing a slight dimple. "You're fine, Edward. Just go."

It was then when her focus returned to the handsome talk show host who was giving a monologue on the latest news. And that's when it struck me – she was paying too close attention to the dark-haired man on the television, on every fold and wrinkle on his tailored suit, every line on his face. This was one of Alice's tactics to prevent my mental intrusions.

There was something she was keeping from me.

"Alice? What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing," she said, and Jasper simply shrugged his shoulders.

Before I headed out to the garage, I shot another look in her direction. Her attention was still on the television, and though there was nothing humorous about the show host's material, I caught the smile on her face.

Less than fifteen minutes later, my Volvo was parked a few houses down, and I stood on the grass in the darkness, peering up at Bella's open window. Why did the girl insist on leaving it open? Why was she inviting trouble?

A few more minutes passed as I battled with sneaking through her window or returning to my vehicle. With her enticing scent so close and the anticipation of seeing her lying in her bed, it was becoming increasingly difficult to convince myself to do the right thing.

I just wanted to see her. Just a sneak peek through the window. Then I would go straight home. After all, in less than eight hours, I would see her again. And Alice said it would be fine…

One deft hop landed me at Bella's window, and my fingers held tight to the frame, allowing me to gaze upon her sleeping figure. Her dark hair was splayed across her pillow, and there was a slight curve to those enchanting lips – lips I must never touch. She looked like an angel, and even in sleep she drew me to her. I was the mouse to her cheese, the rabbit to her dangling carrot…and I just couldn't help myself. My leg swung through the window and settled down onto the floor, quietly, so that she would not awaken. I never had to make contact with her, I told myself. And Alice said it would be fine…

…and it wasn't until my other foot pushed forward a rounded object, discordant and unexpected, the tin clanged against her wood floor before I could stop it. Even my lightning fast reflexes were no match for the detestable clatter this line of cans and string made as I moved forward and backward, fighting to untangle myself from it.

"Oh shit!" I muttered and then realized I'd said it aloud. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Dammit, Alice! This is what she'd seen…and she had kept it from me.

"Shhhh." Bella was now at my feet, and her scent was coming off her in waves as she unwound the tangled mess from my ankles.

There would be no running away now. She'd cleverly set her trap, and I'd been caught like the guilty prowler that I was. At least Chief Swan's sleep had not been disturbed despite the banging noises.

After she'd removed the booby trap and shoved it aside, her expression was mighty smug as she looked up at me.

"Well, hi there." She was on her knees, her face disturbingly close to my zipper.

"I'm sorry, Bella. This is a mistake. I shouldn't be here." There. I'd apologized. Now I had to leave.

"No, I'm very glad you're here," she said.

And her tone confirmed her words. Her arms were suddenly around the back of my legs, her cheek against the crotch of my jeans. I pulled away from her, wondering if she realized what it meant for a female to have her face so close to a man's private area. Soon I realized that she knew exactly what it meant as she continued on her knees to follow me around her room, her eyes hungrily locked on my man parts as though she had X-ray vision.

"What are you doing?" I asked, horrified. "Get up!"

Even in the moonlight I saw the pink that filled her cheeks. This surprised me; I thought she was incapable of embarrassment. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

"What's wrong with me?" I shot back hotly. "You're not even old enough to…how old are you?"

"I'm seventeen. Same as you, right?"

Well, I was in a seventeen year old's body. That much was true. I suppose that when it came to Bella, I'd conveniently forgotten that I was an obscene number of decades older than she. And when she called me hypocritical for being in her room and questioning why I was there, I felt every bit the letch that I was.

My head bowed down in shame. "I apologize again. This is a mistake."

"No, no. Please don't go." Her voice sounded dejected, and I looked up to find her back on her bed. "I just don't want things to get all weird again."

Weird. This was an odd choice for whatever existed between us. There seemed to be a variety of feelings. Anger, anxiety, desire…mostly desire.

She was lying on her bed in the fetal position facing away from me, and I suddenly had the urge to wrap my arms around her - but resisted it.

"I can't make you stay, Edward. But, if you're so repulsed by me, then maybe you should go."

Repulsed? Of all the verbs she could come up with, repulsed didn't come close, not even in the tiniest measure. Unable to keep my distance from Bella, I leaned in toward her on the bed. "Oh God, Bella. Is that what you think?" It was inconceivable to me how badly I'd handled things with her, how my actions must have led her to this insane conclusion.

"Bella Swan, you're the most absurd, frustrating, irresistible girl I've ever met." I meant every word, and I'd met thousands of females in my lifetime, heard everything in their thoughts there was to hear.

"So then you're just not attracted to me?" She'd turned around and was looking up at me with an expression that tore my nonexistent heart to pieces.

Like a magnet, I wanted to tell her, but unless she was just being coy, I couldn't imagine how she could not know better. "Would I be here if I wasn't?"

"I don't know. Would you?"

Nearly every boy at Forks High wanted her. And as shameful as it was, I wanted her, too. So badly. My body shifted so that it was lying behind her.

"You have no idea what you do to me…how I have to fight myself to stay away from you," I confessed, feeling the heat from her body as she scooted backward against me.

"Why do you fight?" she asked, looping her leg around my ankle in a very naughty gesture.

As I felt the warmth of her flesh press against the seam of my crotch, I silently asked myself the same question. "You really will be the death of me," I uttered, but no longer had the strength to fight. My hand rose of its own accord, at first as though to pull her body closer, but instead wandered to the silky fabric of her camisole, brushing delicately against the swell of her left breast. The stiffness in my pants was becoming harder to contain as her body reacted to my touch. I had to be careful to keep my icy touch from her bare flesh and my index finger quickly found its way to her nipple, which, like my cock was delightfully erect. It brought me immense pleasure that I could make her feel this way with our clothes on.

Her foot moved away from my ankle and wrapped backward around my thigh, so that her ass met the bulge in my pants. She so knew what she did to me. I pulled her closer against me, wanting her to know the need that her body was inspiring in mine. Eager to oblige, her fingers claimed my zipper. Since my brain had fifty percent less control, my arm reached underneath her torso, proceeding to flip her onto her backside, and I settled myself on top of her, my knees separating hers. The heels of her feet had soon found a home against my ass like her own personal stirrups, granting my muffled cock sweeter access to her center.

There was one word to describe the way our bodies ground and rocked against one another: hot. It was the single most erotic experience I'd ever had with my clothes on though my length longed for freedom from the constraint of my jeans. The combination of burning friction and the ecstasy of her voice calling out my name with her orgasm prompted the involuntary release of my own…and with the wetness now saturating the front of my pants, the stinging reality of what had just occurred washed over my consciousness.

Her arms linked around my neck, and I pulled away from her.

What was I doing? Had I lost my mind completely? Physical contact was supposed to be forbidden. Even though our clothes had never been removed our actions had opened the floodgates. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her. This was a recipe for disaster.

"I'm sorry," I said, rising from her bed, and covering the proof of my weakness.

"Don't be. I have a wet spot, too," she said as though my only issue were with the telltale release staining my pants.

"No. You don't understand. This is all wrong."

"It didn't feel wrong."

Indeed, it hadn't. And if my desires hadn't put her life in danger, it wouldn't have been such an issue. I moved toward her window. "I'll see you tomorrow." Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do, but I needed to get out of there, to clear my mind and body from the pull she had on me even now. And the next thing she said made it infinitely more difficult.

"I had a good time tonight."

In the one hundred plus years of my existence, I'd slept with the greater population of female vampires, nomads mostly. Despite the wild, uninhibited adventures I shared with those immortals, they didn't compare to the thrill or passion I'd just experienced with this human girl. I doubted now I could ever go back to those empty, salacious encounters. And the idea of it didn't bother me one bit.

I smiled with the realization of it. "Me too."


I counted the minutes until I would see her again. My car was parked out front as I watched for her to appear at her window before school. I was not clear on etiquette when it came to dating humans. Though, I didn't like to think that we were dating, I could hardly call it a one-night stand, and yet it was more than friendship. When you sneak through a person's window and dry hump them it was only proper to offer a ride to school the next day, was it not?

My breath caught when her dark eyes met mine from her window. She was beautiful as always. The circles under her eyes were a tangible reminder of my visit.

She looked confused, but smiled as she called down to me, her voice easily heard by my ears, despite my open window. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to pick you up for school."

Her smile disappeared, giving way to the dropping of her jaw. She was about to say something, but stopped herself and moments later she was storming through her front door, making a beeline toward me.

"What the hell are you thinking? I don't need a ride to school. I have my truck."

She looked insulted. Had I committed some social faux pas? "I know," I said. "I just thought you might like a ride to school this morning."

One hand was on her hip now, and the other shielded her face from the drizzle. "Why did you think that? Listen, Edward. You're not my boyfriend."

Surprisingly, the bite of that remark pummeled my insides, as though my feelings were nothing more than dough, awaiting the inevitable punching and kneading of eager hands. This should not have bothered me, I told myself. It shouldn't have felt like a rejection. We'd already established the fact that we were not a couple. A relationship between a vampire and human was simply foolish, and anyway, I was not looking for a relationship. Had things really changed so much between us?

"I know that," I countered.

Her brows were drawn together, and her tone was angry. "Well, just because of last night doesn't mean-."

I cut her off. "Bella, calm down. It's raining and cold right now. Why don't you just run in and grab your backpack and accompany me to school?"

"Hell, no! I'm not getting in your car. I'll see you there." She began to back away, and I was enveloped by a sense of urgency.

"Dammit, Bella!" I cursed. I'd never cursed at a woman before. "Just get your things and get in my car!"

Her eyes were no longer angry; they were wide with what appeared to be a mixture of horror and amusement. I certainly hadn't meant to speak forcefully to her, but at least I'd captured her attention.

My tone softened. "It'll take some time for your truck to warm up, and it's already warm in here."

I shook my head at the now speculative expression on her face. "I'm not offering you a promise ring, Bella. In the interest of saving time, ride with me to school."

"In the interest of saving time," she repeated.

"Right, and after school I'll drive us back here…to do homework…or play games. Just like we planned." She didn't answer right away, which made me nervous. "Are we still on for after school or have you changed your mind?"

"No, I haven't changed my mind. I guess I could ride with you, Edward…just for today."

I nodded toward the front door, gesturing to her to gather her things. It was only a couple of minutes after that when she was finally seated beside me, and once again I was drowned by a fresh spray of her scent.

She didn't say anything at first, but I could feel her eyes on me as I navigated away from her street. For the nth time I wondered what she was thinking. We both reached for the dial to turn down the heat simultaneously, and she jerked in surprise when our fingertips made contact.

"Your hands are so cold."

"Yeah." I had no explanation for this, so I did what I always do when it came to answering uncomfortable questions. I changed the subject. "So, is it weird?"

Her brows drew together again. "That your hands are cold?"

I chuckled at her response, not because it was funny but because I could see that she was trying to make her own connections to the chaos going through my mind. "No. You thought things might be weird between us again."

Now it was her turn to laugh. "Well, I'll tell you, Edward. I'm not weirded out by your breaking and entering into my room as much as I should be. But, this…you showing up at my house ready to escort me to school…that's weird."

"How about gentlemanlike?" I asked, though there weren't many other things I'd done that could qualify.

"No…just weird. But, as long as it's just for today, and you're not going to go back to ignoring me, then I can live with it."

I mock wiped the sweat from my brow. "Phew."

"You know that now that we're friends or whatever you're going to have to tell me the truth."

That worry had sat there like a monkey on my back…every minute of every hour since I made the decision that we could be friends. I didn't want to lie to Bella about what I was, yet how could I tell her the truth?

"At some point," I agreed in my most non-committal tone.

"Some point soon."

"I'm glad that we're friends or whatever, Bella."

From the corner of my eye, I could see her smile. "Me too, Edward."

The rest of the ride to school was quiet, but the monkey on my back was like the weight of a planet on my shoulders. Scaring her away with the truth felt like the equivalent of locking myself away in solitary confinement. The depth of my feelings for her increased incrementally with every moment that passed.

Yes, someday I would tell Bella the truth and risk losing her. Maybe that was for the best. Or perhaps, I might grow tired of her or vice versa. But for now, I would not spoil our time together with my fears. The truth would always be there, whether I liked it or not.

And I was determined to put it off as long as possible.


A/N: As you probably guessed, this last part was new, and next chapter I'll start fresh with Bella's pov.