Chikay's blah: I don't celebrate Christmas so you don't get an update.
But I do celebrate New Year, so you get 2 updates in a week. Isn't that fucking awesome?
Plus, next update will be the LONG AWAITED SMUT! What the hell?
No, this chapter is also to be reckoned with, coz you get to have some FLUFF. Yeah, fluff. In. This. Fic.
I'm disappointed that only one bothered to read my collaboration with Shirai, so she gets a one shot titled as: Nightmare in Gomorrah
I am the type to push my advertisement on your nose, so I made a cameo here. You have no choice but to read it. And when you're interested enough, you'll go visit my fic, review and I give you a one shot. Yes. You have no choice.
Why is this note so long? Because I missed you guys! Thanks for those who reviewed last chapter, yes YuuSora, especially you!
Now read: *pushes page unto your nose*
「~*~*~*~」
Bright sunlight peeking out the uncurtained windows startled him awake. Rubbing the sapphire orbs off, he yawned cutely and stretched, mind still not processing information.
"Ciel!" A harsh tackle pushed him back to bed, before a very wet tongue slobbered all over him. The smell of vanilla and coffee filled his sensitive nostrils, and with resignation, he identified the intruder with a bored tone.
"Alois, not now."
"Ciel, baka! I'm just here to wake you up! You'll go on a 'date' with Sebastian, neh?" the blonde huffed, before pulling him up and dragging his drowsy body to the dining area. Not bothering to change his symbolic rabbit pajamas (symbolic, because rabbits are supposedly the horniest animals on the planet), he sat to a comfortable chair and watch his best friend serve him freshly brewed coffee and pancakes dripping with strawberry jam.
Not the best cook, but at least he doesn't force-feed me vegetables. He crumpled his face in repulsion as he remembered Claude's 'strict' diet that included the fucking food pyramid.
"Do I really have to?" Whining, he stuffed a forkful of breakfast in his mouth, chewing noisily while Alois donned a pair of reading glasses. Looking up from Philosophy in the Bedroom (a banned book from Marquis de Sade), the writer frowned.
"You think it's enough to top him physically? That's stupid thinking, boy. That Sebastian has a pair as huge as Miley's wrecking ball between his legs. And I don't even mean that literally."
"So what?" a spoonful of jam was added to the cakes while he raised a brow at Alois's buttered pancakes with distaste. "Make him feel how great is it to be a bottom, leave him begging for more. Revenge complete."
"Not that simple, oh smart one.~" Seriously, Alois can be a diva during daytime. The shorter male rolled his eyes as Alois dramatically tossed his book aside and leaned on the table, almost toppling it off balance. Remind me to punish him later.
"If a guy comes close to you, a hot one at that, and made it obvious it's just for sex, watcha gonna do?"
"Kick his balls, smiley face. Ex oh ex oh." Ciel's lips puckered exaggeratedly as he tries to imitate the other one's speech.
Instead of splashing the scalding hot coffee on him, the should-be-offended male snapped his fingers and winked. "Precisely. Or you'll have sex with him then forget him after. Not much of a thrill isn't it?"
"So I have to pretend I actually like him? Fuck, that thing disgusts me!" the bluenette stormed off the place, leaving breakfast to be damned. The blonde, however, followed him around, voice never raising, but each word echoed like a scream.
"You gave him your virginity, Phantomhive!"
"I was cheated out of my virginity, bitch!" A passive couch was slumped upon by the temperamental male, memories flooding from his consciousness like a nightmare worth forgetting.
The delicious pain coursing through his body...
The sweaty heat mingling with his own...
Wet rain engulfing his person as he ran barefoot across the empty streets, tears flooding down his face...
Throwing away all his dreams of love and trust, and replacing them with hatred...
Sebastian Michaelis is a demon.
"I WAS CHEATED! HE SAID HE FUCKING LOVE ME! HE SAID THAT!" the shrill voice seemed so foreign that it made his friend stagger backwards at the outburst. Ciel rarely shout. Only during the times when he is panicking.
A blank look spread across the older boy, realization hitting him. "You're still affected. Why are you still affected?"
The soft hair was pulled in frustration, eyes suddenly taking an interest in a nearby antique vase, and that reaction pissed Trancy even more. "I would rather tie him up, use a vibrator, take a picture and humiliate him on facebook. Taking him on a picnic is too much effort."
"And where's the fun in that?" icy blue eyes pierced through the facade with little trouble, as his heart thumped in insistent rhythm. Drive him to the edge. "Unless you love him. Of course, you can't play this game knowing that you'll lose in the end-"
"Don't push it." the vase barely missed him as the adult store manager promptly threw it on a wall, glass shattered loudly as it collided with the hard cement. "DON'T FUCKING PUSH IT."
"Or what? You'll gonna toss the sofa at me? Very brave Ciel! Hide under that leather and see if you'll be able to get the fucking over with that douche."
"I am over him!" I see him and my heart doesn't beat like crazy. He touches me and I feel disgusted. Nothing that he can say can make me feel insecure. "I am so over him," declaring in a firm voice, his deep blue orbs met the lighter ones.
"Over huh," the lithe body leaned against the wall, shards were kicked out with the cowboy boots he wore at home. "Look at yourself. The strongest emotions inside that promiscuous body of yours is stirring oh so wildly. As if you're just holding it in. Holding all of it in."
"Tell me, Ciel. What better way to get back at him than to make him wear your goody-little-shoes, and stomp on them?"
"And I should do as I say because-?" Ciel smirked defiantly and rested his head on an arm rest, now calmly swinging an arm as Alois looked at him coldly with an absolute zero gaze.
"You have the choice. But don't you dare mess up Candy and Whip with that stupid attitude of yours. Sure, you're managing now. But when did you ever truly enjoyed sex?" The younger teen tossed an ashtray, aimed at his friend but Alois swiftly caught it.
"I remember, it was when you lost that fucking virginity! YOU ARE ATTACHED. CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING MESS." the poor piece was thrown near Ciel's foot, meeting the same fate as the vase. Claude will be so pissed when he finds out.
Looks like it's going to be the battle of the tantrums.
"You don't remember, do you? This was YOUR plan 3 years ago! Now you want a different course just because you saw his pathetic face? I know you're a pansy, but this takes the shit!"
"Maybe I'm just lazy to finish this-"
"Or maybe you'll afraid in falling back in love with him! That's it, is it not? It is!"
"Stop it. You're my best friend but you have no fucking idea what's in my head."
"And since when did you ever let someone get close to you?" He marched towards Ciel with echoing footsteps. Grabbing the heart-shaped face, he forced the avoiding eyes to look at him. "Even Claude who's been with you through EVERYTHING is now what? A stranger. You said we can't read your mind, but the truth is you can't understand your feelings as well!"
"I already made him my boyfriend, what the fuck do you still want?" he grabbed the wrists and removed the fingers restraining his movement. He is exhausted.
A day with Sebastian, and his teary eyed looks and his unchanged sarcasm is exhausting. It's already been a week since the 'wet diaper' incident, a talk of the town. And though most people just dismissed his aloofness as embarrassment at what happened, it's not the case. He just can't look into those pathetic little eyes. He feels as if he is stealing candy from a helpless kid.
"You're sorry for him?" as always, his nagging friend hits each nail with precision, and he can't help but push the male away from him physically.
"Then lemme rephrase the question. Was he sorry for you when he did what he did?"
That made him freeze on the spot. Chuckling at his victory, the writer scanned with confidence at the handsome person now flaccid at the question.
Ciel is strong, brave and smart. But he's so weak psychologically. While Ciel specializes in conviction, Alois is an expert at manipulation. The question, he knows, will bring him back to the traumatizing events that happened in the past. How he lost everything he worked for and everything that was left of him for that one chance of nonexisting love.
Think Ciel. Think how he broke you, ruined you, how he turned you into a monster.
As most friends are concerned, he shouldn't be doing this. But he should let it all bleed out. Let all the pain manifests itself.
That way, he can lick the wounds clean.
「~*~*~*~」
Text message:
Sebastian, this is Ciel. Let's meet up at the convenience store at the nearest town by the west. You can't refuse this date. Ex oh ex oh!
A stupid grin was immediately plastered before he willed it away, sighing as he headed to the closet. It's a date. With Ciel! Deciding on a new pair of black jeans and tight fitting T-shirt in maroon, he stormed around his already messy room, primping himself for the day.
You might think that a normal human reaction would be to avoid someone who humiliated you and blackmailed you. In a different case, the said someone would be sporting a huge black eye and a vacation in the hospital. But this was Ciel.
He saw it. The concern in those beautiful eyes while the embarrassing photo of his wet pants was posted on their bulletin board the next day. It was a sensation, and most girls were too disgusted to even walk beside him. No one dared to tease him about it (with the sole exception of Ash) knowing Sebastian's famous tantrums that can flip the whole school if he wanted to.
Not that his father would not disown him after that. He can kiss his inheritance goodbye if he even tried as much as to kick a puppy to the pavement.
Placing the silver pierce on his tongue, he ran to the exit with his small backpack and helmet at hand.
"Don't cook for me, Cora. I'll be eating out," he yelled at the Filipina maid with fuzzy curly hair who was currently feeding his cat, Izaya. "Be good and don't scratch the furniture mmmmkay? And stop teasing Shizuo." he glared at the gigantic St Bernard now growling lowly at the black cat with white 'socks'.
"And keep that mutt away from my cat. Thanks bye!"
He started his Ducati and sped away, not looking back as the maid was forcefully tackled to the ground by the gigantic dog in an attempt to catch Izaya.
I hate dogs.
「~*~*~*~」
He parked his big bike and entered Callie's Convenience Store, frowning slightly at the clank of the bell. A pretty blonde chick in a yellow hat greeted him in a low 'welcome', and he headed towards the frozen stock to down a beer (a little courage never hurt anyone). Glancing at a handsome man restocking the potato chips, he shook his head as he took in the auburn hair and cinnamon orbs concentrating on the task at hand.
There are too many star potential in this godforsaken place. Studying at a shitty school, working at a shitty place.
If we were at New York, we would've already been discovered by talent scouts. Or model scouts. Or Boy Scouts.
Prancing across the room, he placed the Heineken on the counter, the blonde chick raised a nicely done eyebrow before demanding:
"Identification?"
"You're a guy?" Sebastian smirked at the discovery, amused at how the pretty face contorted into a scowl and blue eyes dilated with a glare. Upon closer look, he realized how scary the other looked. He half expected a Beretta to be pointed at his temple, but instead, a gritty retort escaped the employee's lips.
"Identification, please. I wouldn't want to be selling alcohol to five-year-olds."
Snarky. Sebastian tilted his head to shot back, but a tap on his shoulder made him stop. The strong smell of perfume... it's Ciel.
"Sorry 'bout my boo's stupid behavior, Mello. Believe me, he takes stronger substances than that."
"Ciel. Hi." 'Mello' rolled his eyes and greeted 'boo' with a nod. "Where's Alois?"
"Somewhere, out there. Nah, he's on a date with Ash. Hello, Light!"
The handsome male waved back and resumed with cleaning the shelves. Apparently, Ciel's a regular.
"How's the porno doing?" What the-
"Fine, fine. Matt as usual, being so hard to get. Thanks for the toys, BTW."
"No problem!" Ciel smiled happily, frighteningly like Alois as he pulled out his card to pay for beer and CONDOMS.
Now I'm confused. As hell. Sebastian let Ciel led him out of the store/apparently-workplace-for-pornstars-during-daylight.
"What the hell was that place?" Crimson eyes widened as Ciel, in all his white jeans and black denim jacket, straddled on his bike. Tapping on the front, he hesitantly took his place and started the engine.
"Let's take a drive. And those guys are Alois's actors in a porn he wrote. Saw the potential, so I sponsored a little."
Alois. Sick bastard. Porn writer/human trafficker.
"Anyways, let's hit the McDonalds here and grab a quarter pounder or something."
「~*~*~*~」
Small arms wrapped around his waist and the head rested on his shoulder. It feels so nice, the gentle warmth against him, the breeze on his skin, and the small exhales as his beloved breathe.
This is how it ought to be. The two of them together in a carefree ride towards nowhere, a comfortable silence where only their hearts speak.
He might be a demon, but even he can be a little hopeless romantic.
The sunset by the boulevard was breath taking, and blue eyes lit up like a kid on the candy shop. Stopping on a perfect spot, Sebastian opened his back pack and take a green lunchbox out.
"I know you like cake. You mentioned it to me before right?" opening the container, a delicate chocolate cake with white vanilla candy decorations revealed itself. For a moment, the permanent crease on the younger male's forehead was gone. It was replaced with a concealed delight that only he can see.
"I baked it myself." Handing a plastic spork to him, Ciel placed the cake on his lap.
The urge to smash it on Sebastian's face was tempting. The chance was here. Do it. Do it.
One look at the vermilion orbs, honestly gazing at his for approval and he confirmed that he CAN'T do it.
It's cake. Ciel reasoned out while taking a delicate piece on his mouth. Flavor burst on his tongue, the potent dark chocolate and sweet vanilla fighting for his attention. Against his will, he moaned softly in pleasure. It'll be a shame to waste it.
Sebastian can't help but smile as his Ciel enjoyed the cake silently. He learned to bake a few years ago, intending to cook for someone who said he like cake.
The urge to be the best at baking was strong, but his motivation was vague. He can't remember who wanted cake. But he knows he want to make him smile.
Now Ciel closed his eyes peacefully, savoring bite after bite with a calm look on his face. He sipped on his beer and bit a chicken sandwich, content and fulfilled. It was for Ciel. He learned how to bake for Ciel subconsciously.
"Hey." Ciel spoke, looking up to him with a piece of cake offered to his mouth. He took the offer and ate the cake, smiling to himself how he managed to make it taste so good.
"If you were only like this before." Ciel mumbled, taking his beer and sipping on it. "We could've worked out so well."
The ravenette scooted closer and wrapped an arm around his waist, eyes trained at the setting sun with a melancholic feeling stirring up his inside. He wanted so much to beg, to scream he loves him so much. Is it going to be too much if he kneels for forgiveness?
How much will it be if he begs for just one chance?
And how much is he already missing out?
A lump on his throat formed, and he opened his mouth, but no coherent words come to his aid.
It's going to be the easier way to just let this angel fly away and wish him all the best.
But he just can't bear the truth that he'll just let him go again.
Waiting for someone. He knows he was waiting for someone. A lot of chances to go to a damned city and get wasted, a chance to run away from his father and live in a third world country, a fucking chance to be a model or a pornstar.
But he waited, at St Secaire. Without even realizing that the reason why he can't fucking move on is Ciel.
"But it's too late for that, isn't it?" a bitter grin spread across the bluenette's face. An invisible knife stabbed him through the heart, and he wanted to scream.
No! Please don't leave me again!
Not this way!
"Did you enjoy the cake?"
And the first words he said as he came down from his stupor are these.
「~*~*~*~」
In these substandard motels on the lalalala...
「~*~*~*~」
Boring day today. The motel receptionist wearing yellow nail polish and a skanky uniform popped a bubblegum while humming a tone. Her permed locks was brushed and artificial, making her like a piece to complete the cheap motel's look. Paint in the shade of brick red was chipping and cracks on the wall was evident. Sebastian surveyed the place with a frown, grimacing when a pair of teenage couple made out in front of him as if they can't wait for the room.
"Room 25, 2nd floor." the receptionist did not bother tossing them a second look as Ciel pulled Sebastian to the old elevator.
Yup. It is a boring day.
「~*~*~*~*」
Before you all kill me for this, let me just say that I am not withholding the smut deliberately. I just can't write it yet without setting the proper mood. I update immediately after posting so that's why I write like this.
Expect the smut before the first week of January ends. I am squeezing my brains trying very hard, so don't lose me yet. If you really want me to be motivated, is it so much to ask for reviews? Pretty please? I have said once that pressuring me will motivate me. I am not a fan of Mello x Near nor do I write dark fics but I deliver. because people expect me too. That's just the way I function. Sorry for being whiny, but I need to tell you before I start getting flames.
