I am an actual piece of shit I am so sorry for the wait. It's a long chapter so I hope it somewhat makes up for my updating skills. Tbh I wrote this chapter in like 3 hours but EDITING kills me. I try my hardest to make sure there are no typos and it is just well written. I think it is worth it though, you guys seem to like it. This is my first real fanfiction so I am actually super hyped you guys enjoy it, so thank you so much.
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or its characters, they belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I also do not own any of the songs mentioned in this chapter.
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Tweeks POV:
I am sitting in my parent's coffee shop working, well not really. It is almost closing time so the customers have depleted to about zero. So, I am just sitting here scrolling through a picture folder in my phone labeled "Craig". Is that creepy? To some extent, I guess it is, but he also takes pictures of me so it's not as stalker-ish. Most of the pictures are taken in the school's cafeteria, but this specific one was when he got a haircut a few days before. An undercut but it's not completely shaved, just shorter than the top of his head. It's not super long but he has bangs that hang slightly above his brow. It looks so good on him, everything would. He is just so handsome. God, I sound like a teenage girl.
I scroll to the next picture which is one of him and I. It was when he came over that one night and Kyle bullied me about grabbing Craig's-… um… you know. I shake the thoughts from the depths of my mind and return focus on the picture. Craig has a half smile with his arm around my shoulder, half-lidded and clearly wasted. I'm snuggled in close to his collarbone, holding my arm out to take the picture. My face is red with hair sticking to it because of all the accumulated sweat. Besides me looking like a complete mess, I have a huge smile on my face and my usually wide eyes are squinted due to the lift of my cheeks. I click my settings and make it my background, still not creepy.
During the times we have spent together, I have learned Craig is an amazing artist. He is so talented and is extremely musically inclined, he can play so many different instruments it is so cool. He is just so amazing, I hope he plays for me one day. God, stop that. I need to stop thinking about him. Actually, what I really need to do is just get Craig out of my life altogether. I really, REALLY, don't want to though. I subconsciously pout thinking about losing Craig again. I'm just, not strong… It's like I am falling for him all over again and I want it to stop.
We don't even hang out that much and I'm still so hung up on him. Aghhh, it's been about two weeks since the time at my house. Since then I've only hung out with Craig a handful of times during school. It's usually during lunch or a few minutes after our art class. So why is that tight feeling in my chest and fuzziness in my stomach getting worse? This just completely sucks! It is the worst feeling when you are standing at the grocery store, in the produce section, with one of those stupid bags that I never know which end to open, and to my surprise, I can't get it open. Standing there for god knows how long to start hyperventilating and twitching, making it significantly harder to open that god damn bag, because I feel like I'm being stared at. That's the worst part, right? WRONG! When trying to calm down, the only thing that goes through my head is the feeling of being near Craig. Sleeping on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat as I trace circles around the happy trail of black sticking out from under those jeans that accentuate the length of his legs. Then in that state of euphoria, my mind gives me a reality check when my "center Craig" pushes my hand away, glaring at me, telling me all my insecurities. I was standing there feeling worse than before. How do you handle when the person that makes everything better also makes it ten times worse?
I sigh out loud, not just because I hate myself but also because I really want to spend more time with him. My mind calls me selfish because "I'm asking for too much". We do text, it is just that we are both busy and our schedules never line up. I've been having more episodes because Kenny hasn't been texting me as much. He usually keeps me distracted, I hope I didn't do anything to make him angry at me. To get my mind off of all these thoughts, I continue to scroll through my Craig collection, which probably isn't the best idea, till I am interrupted by a text from the devil himself.
Mr. Long Legs 9:25 PM: Where you at?
Me 9:27 PM: Where do you think? Work.
Mr. Long Legs 9:28 PM: Don't you get snippy with me.
Me 9:28 PM: I'm not snippy. What are you though, an old man?
Mr. Long Legs 9:30 PM: Those damn kids that play outside my apartment and college has aged me. So prob. When do you get off?
I giggle at his message. Before I begin my response.
Me 9:31 PM: Shops closing in like 30 minutes. Why are you asking?
I waited for a reply for ten minutes, seems like he got caught up doing something again. God, Tweek, stop acting so lovesick, he's not your god damn boyfriend! I lay my phone face down on the counter to repeat that in my head. "He's not your boyfriend!" ...Aw... now I just made myself sad, again. I lay my head on the counter and begin to do what I'm best at, overthinking. Not like I wasn't already but my worries change slightly. Like, what if Craig is just acting nice because he feels obligated? Like we were best friends a long time ago and he feels that the "weird twink twitchy kid" can't make friends. Or is it like a South Park thing? No matter where we go, we still end up talking to each other as some unspoken rule? Gah, this is way too much pressure. I feel myself twitching on the counter till I'm brought back to reality when the bell over the front door rings.
I look up and see who it is. I mean, it is still my job to serve for the next 15 minutes. Oh, look at who it is, it's only just the person who has plagued my thoughts since I was 8, Craig Tucker. I wish I could groan out loud but instead, I give him my "work smile". He walks up to the counter and sits on one of the bar stools. He's still taller than me sitting down reminding me how perfectly tall he is. I'm going to punch myself when I get home. Till then, I have to act normal. "W-what are you d-doing here?" I ask him, trying to act "normal".
"That's not a nice way to greet such a handsome customer." He says with a smile. I roll my eyes at him and laugh. He is almost as bad as Kenny with his cockiness, they both have good reason to be though. I raise my eyebrows at him as an unspoken gesture to answer my question.
"I want to hang out with you since I finally have free time, but I made plans with Clyde and Token. So, come to a party with me." He says. There is that feeling that keeps taking over my person again. I look everywhere around the room, trying to keep my composer before my eyes fall on Craig. He's wearing a dark blue hoodie with a leather jacket thrown over it. His raven hair isn't styled in any kind of way but it looks perfect. I hope he's wearing those jeans "center Craig" had on. God, he is just so perfect. Tweek fucking, no.
"I-I don't know. I h-have a h-hard time around c-crowds." I tell him while fidgeting with my fingers.
"Don't make me beg Tweek." He says in that irresistible monotone voice. I really am weak, aren't I?
"N-no. You don't have t-to do t-that. I'll go. Y-You just have to h-help me clean up a-as a reward." I stutter out with a smile. He stands up from his seat and makes his way behind the counter. Two things go through my head, 1) I have the mental strength of a mouse when it comes to Craig, and 2) I have the mental strength of an ant when he is wearing those god damn jeans. Jesus, I might go insane if I ever see him naked. Maybe I'm just sexually frustrated, Kenny please come up soon. I pretend like I'm not contemplating pushing Craig down to ride him on the coffee shop floor by asking him to wipe down any surfaces and put anything that can be washed in the sink while I take inventory.
Ten minutes later, I emerge from the back room to see the much larger male back in the same seat. "W-well we can l-leave now. I-I need to c-change though. S-stop by m-my house?" I say approaching him. "Can we pick up Token and Clyde before we head to your place?" I nod while we head to the front of the shop. I head over to the open sign to turn it over so it says "closed". The bell over the door rings once more when we make our way outside. I lock the shop up before we head to his car that is parked in front of the shop, illegally I might add. I head over to the passenger seat but Craig beats me to it and has the door held open. I roll my eyes before I slide into the black leather seat. He shuts the door behind me and goes to the drivers' seat. We both buckle up because you know, I don't want to fly out of his windshield.
He starts pressing the numbers on the radio before a Sublime CD starts to play the song "Badfish". "You know y-you have a-an aux cord, r-right?" I ask him while he adjusts the volume so we can continue talking. "I like CDs a lot more. They have character." He tells me with this cute little half smile. I smile back at him. It's so easy to make conversations, I love him, I mean it, I love IT. Ughhhh…
"This is the kind of m-music you like?" I ask him as he pulls into the street.
"I like all kinds of music, to be honest with you. I just only have CDS from my punk-stoner days back in high school. Why? You don't like Sublime?" I laugh at his comment and I begin to sing him the current lyrics of the song to prove, I am in fact, a fan.
"Ain't got no quarrels with gooooodddd~. Ain't got no time to groooow ooooooooold~. Lord knows I'm weak. Won't somebody get me off of this reef." Luckily, I can sing without stuttering. He smiles while turning right on the road that leads to his house.
"I see that I was wrong. I also like how you proved me wrong." I smile at that comment before I ask another question,
"You w-were a stoner?" I look at him with my head slightly tilted. He nods with a hint of embarrassment. I keep smiling because I love learning new things about Craig. Fills me with more warmth than any cup of coffee ever has.
"Favorite strain?" I guess he wasn't expecting my question because he choked on his own spit. I start laughing extremely hard as he makes his way to his apartment parking lot. He's probably not going to respond so I'll just continue where I left off. "Mine i-is Sativa. Specifically, W-Willie Nelson and Jack T-The Ripper." I didn't realize it till Craig parked the car but "Lets Go Get Stoned" was playing which made me chuckle.
"You smoke?" he asks me. I look at him with a big smile and start trying to dance in my seat. I'm mouthing the words to Craig as he stares at me.
"Not much a-anymore. Weed is expensive, man. I was a-a druggie during high s-school. Helped me d-deal with t-things. I also like all k-kinds o-of music. If you p-play it I c-can sing to it." He laughs while his large hand starts to ruffle my hair.
"You are full of surprises Tweek. I'm glad you like all kinds of music, we can sing together." He laughs out while pulling out his phone. I feel the heat rise to my face, how can he do something like that with only a few words. I lean over to the radio and skip "New Thrash" because I want to listen to "Scarlet Begonias" before Clyde comes in and makes some type of gay comment. I turn up the volume a little and start to sing to Craig. He smiles at my attempt to sing the first part of the song, moving my body to the beat. Craig sang the next part and I was not expecting, any of that. He has a beautiful, deep singing voice with no hints that his speaking voice sounds like he's holding his nose. He gets into the song and starts dancing along with me. I laugh at the fact that this is so natural, so fun. I ignore the fact that I want to listen to him sing all day by adding my awful singing to the mix.
"Turn that shit down." I jump at the sound of Clyde's voice while he slaps the roof of Craig's car. I turn down the volume while Craig flips the brunette off. Token and Clyde both slide into the back seat and we all exchange greetings. "I get the radio, Craig." Clyde says holding out his hand. He groans as he takes out an aux cord from the glove compartment. I turn to Token to get some answers, which he provided. Thank you, Token.
"One night Craig got super drunk and he told Clyde that he is sorry for not telling him how much he loves him. On the other hand, Clyde was not drunk. He recorded Craig saying that instead of saying 'I love you' he just gives Clyde control of the radio in his car." I laugh because that is pretty smart of Clyde considering he is a complete idiot. Wait, is Craig rubbing off on me?
Clyde already has his phone plugged in and ready to play some music for the car. "Can you not do that yet. Wait until we are done at Tweek's house, please." Craig says putting his car into reverse. Clyde rolls his eyes while putting his phone down. I start to watch Craig as he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his hoodie pocket. He pulls one of the Marlboros cigarets and begins to multitask between driving and smoking. I don't mind smoking, I do it occasionally when I'm super hammered, but Craig just looks so good doing it.
I was so focused on Craig that I didn't realize him and Token were talking about the party. "Some girl from my class invited me and told me to bring some friends." Tokens says.
"She probably only invited you because you are a rich kid. You dress like a pompous jackass all of the time." Clyde intervenes with some venom in his words. Craig laughs while he turns onto my apartments street. Wow, I was staring at Craig longer than I thought.
"Wow Clyde, that's a pretty big word. Did you learn that recently?" Token retorts. That made Craig and I laugh but it made Clyde sigh in irritation. I notice that we pulled up to my apartment building when the car stops. "I-I'll only be a few minutes. Wait h-here." Craig just nods as I close the door. I run up the stairs and get into my apartment as fast as I can. I throw myself on the couch to scream into one of the pillows I throw at Kenny when he's acting like a dick, then I punch myself. I get up like nothing happened, making my way to my bedroom. I open up my surprisingly organized closet to pick out a simple outfit. I choose a pair of dark skinny jeans that I have to roll up because they are too long, a plain black t-shirt, and my black Doc Martens. I also throw over an oversized gray zip up hoodie Kenny left me to have when I miss him.
I check myself out in the bathroom mirror before leaving. The sweater goes to my mid-thigh, I like oversized sweaters on me, makes me look cute. I gargle some mouthwash, brush my hair once before I'm out the door and back in Craig's car.
"Awwwww." I hear from the back of the car, specifically from Clyde. "Seriously Tweek, you are cuter than most girls I know. How about you and I go back up the stairs to your place and- "Clyde is cut off by Craig slamming his seat all the way back to shut him up. I laugh as he starts whining and Craig flips him off. Token also laughs when Craig readjusts his seat.
"He has a point though Tweek. You did get really cute, Is that your sweater though? Seems too big." I blush because even Token thinks I'm cute, I also feel they do not understand that I AM gay. This is a bigger deal to me then it is to them.
"I-I like big s-sweaters. It's like a t-type of f-fashion trend. But t-to answer your q-question, i-it's not mine. K-Kenny left it here along t-time ago. I h-have one of K-Kyles too, but it's not as b-big as Kenny's." I tell him with a smile. I look over at Craig who has a scowl on his face while we pull out of the parking lot.
"Everyone shut up," Clyde says. "It's time to get pumped to party!" Token laughs and Craig goes "Dude, what the fuck!?" when Clyde leans to the front of the car to turn the radio all the way up. The beginning of the song "Wasted" by Tiësto plays. He belts out the first lyrics, grabbing Craig's shoulders from behind the seat. Craig groans loud enough that all of us can hear it over the song. Soon enough Token and I are singing along with him as we all dance in our seats. Craig pulls out another cigarette but he's still mouthing the words.
The song "Do Re Mi" by Blackbear plays after a few mainstream pop songs, I got way too excited when it started and yelled to Clyde that I love Blackbear. When the chorus comes on, Clyde and I sync up to sing my favorite part.
"Do-Re-Mi-Fa Sooooo~ fucking done with you, giiirrrrlllll~." I have no clue what is going on around me anymore as we sing together. During our little jam session, we pull up to a frat house and Craig turns off the car. Both Clyde and I whine at the abrupt stop of the song. Craig gives me a look that says, "Don't you fucking dare", It makes me giggle.
"Rules." Are all Craig and Token say before Clyde lets out the most dramatic noise.
"One," Token begins "No fucking tonight. I'm serious, all of you. This is a general rule." Clyde grumbles things like "boner killers" and "cock blocks." The dark-skinned boy rolls his eyes as Craig begins to speak.
"Two, no trying to get me drunk. No trying to give me drugs. I'm DD tonight and I want none of your shit." Clyde rolls his eyes and waits for the next rule. "Three," they both say together "No picking on Tweek." I am honestly kind of embarrassed that they both care enough to keep me safe from Clyde. "Break any of these rules and I will end you, Clyde." Craig threatens.
Clyde agrees to their terms and we get out of the car to the sounds of drunk young adults and loud music. I rush to Craig's side as we approach the "party house" that smells like bad decisions. A pretty girl with bleached hair and tight clothes waves to Token. "Glad you could make it. My BOYFRIEND really wanted to talk to you about the Chemistry program. He's thinking about changing his major." She tells him with the fakest smile ever. "That's a big fat lie", is what her body language says. She just wants to say something Token is interested in at the same time trying to make him jealous. I spend a lot of time with women, which is why I couldn't keep my mouth shut when she checked out Craig.
"You are too pretty, how are you able to stay with one person?" I say to her. Ok, so when I act I don't stutter, and when I have my breakdowns when I begin to talk really fast. Seems like anything I do that's an artistic outlet I'm not, you know, me, except for the panic attacks, that's too much like me… or sex. She gives me another fake smile. "I'm just loyal like that." She tells us with a flirtatious giggle. "That's not what your outfit says." I tell her with a friendly laugh, purposely trying to act over flamboyant. Her fake smile fades into a look of embarrassment as a shoot her a glare. I mouth "fuck off" and she shuts up completely. I know Craig is not my man, but back off. I thought she was going to be more resilient. Everyone is silent as they follow me into the house.
"What was that?" they all ask me at once. I just shrug and slightly blush. Wendy is the only one that has seen that happen. It was when these girls came up to her trying to start shit, it pissed me off so I started to act like a complete diva bitch. I scared them off and it works really well to get people to shut up. "M-my inner b-bitch came out. She w-was using a tactic t-to get y-you jealous. I g-guess it made me kind o-of mad she thought you w-were that s-stupid to g-get jealous like that." I'm also a good liar. It wasn't about Token, it was about the looks she gave Craig. I really do hate myself. "S-sorry…" I say to him. He smiles and pats my head. "No no, thanks, man. She's super manipulative." I smile back at him.
We are soon interrupted by a very muscular guy, about as tall as Clyde, to give me a shot glass. "Hey beautiful, want a drink." He says to me. Before the others can tell him, I am in fact, a man, I grab the drink from him. "What drugs did you put in this?" I ask smelling it. He shakes his head "No No No, this is a progressive frat house. We do not engage in any sexual activities unless a consent sheet is filled out." I look around and realize we are standing in a PC fraternity. I down the shot and tell him thank you while I hand him back the glass. He yells out "PC" when he walks away and is followed by tons of cheering.
"I thought you didn't like parties?" Craig yells over the music.
"Bad at c-crowds Craig. Not parties. I'm friends w-with Kenny. I'm i-immune to t-these pussy ass p-parties." I yell back at him. Clyde starts laughing so hard he grabs his stomach.
"This is the best thing ever. Tweek Tweak is a fucking party animal!" I wouldn't consider myself a party animal, but if they knew that I use parties to practice acting they might think differently. "I'm going to go party. All of us meet back here in 3 hours. Break!" Clyde says running into the crowd of people.
"Will he b-be ok?" I ask Craig and Token. They both chuckle before Token answers, "Yeah, he lives for this shit." Well, that's a relief. Another girl walks up to Token with a drink and starts up a conversation. I nod at him to continue because she seems nice. I guess I am now the "female whisperer" to find these guys a suitor. God, I hope I do not have to do that for Craig. Token smiles at my ok and continues talking to her. Craig and I take that as a sign to leave. He points to an area where everyone is dancing. The Nae Nae song is playing but I don't know the dance to it so I just move my hips and laugh at Craig trying to attempt the dance among the group of serious pledges. I was laughing and everything was going great until it happened.
The crowd closed in and everyone was jumping to a song I couldn't hear anymore. I was paralyzed with fear, panic and anxiety filled my entire being. I can't breathe, I'm trying to, but I can't. I start to hyperventilate as my eyes begin to sting. Oh no, I'm having an episode, I can't calm down. Where's Craig? Oh God, I'm alone oh my god. Before I start crying I feel a pair of large arms covered in black leather wrap around my tiny frame. We began to move out from the jumping drunks to the back yard that is basically empty. "Breathe Tweek." I hear a familiar nasally voice tell me. He takes me over to a bench that's out of the houses line of sight. He squats down in front of me so we are face to face. I still have scattered breathing and can't talk or close my eyes.
I can see clearly now even though I am still not in control of my own body. I can see Craig's beautiful multiple shades of blended blues in his eyes. I feel his hand glide across my cheek to the nape of my neck. He lightly massages his fingertips into my hair as he whispers stuff like "breathe" or "it's ok". I feel my eyes become heavier and my breathing become less erratic. His other hand is drawing invisible lines onto my palm. I finally regain my composure and take a few deep breaths.
"You ok?" Craig ask me. I lean over and throw my arms over his shoulders. His arms wrap around my torso, engulfing me inside his warmth. "Th-thank you…" I whisper taking in the smell of Craig and sweat. Is it possible to be in love with him any more than I already am? When will it stop? I'm interrupted by the sound of Craig's coughing.
"H-hey Tweek?" He says. Please don't ask me to let go.
"Yes?"
"Do you have anything planned tomorrow?"
"No. Why?" I say slightly pulling away to make eye contact. He looks like he is blushing. Is he still hot from dancing? He looks so cute.
"Want to come over tomorrow?" he says with a timid voice.
"Yeah. I'd love to." I tell him as my heart jumps out of my chest. These hot guys are going to end up killing me.
