Sorry it's taken me so long to get this up, I've been lazy lately. There, I admitted it ;-)

I hope you all enjoy this. Of course as you know, I've gone a slightly different route on the extent of Elliot's blindness.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olivia's POV

Waking up in Elliot's arms this morning I have never felt safer. Or more loved. And you know what? That scares the hell out of me. Not the safer part, I have always felt safe with Elliot. Ever since we became partners. This love thing though? That's what scares me. He meant it yesterday. I knew the minute he told me he loved me that he meant it. And not just in a friends only way either. He is married with a baby on the way. He's not supposed to feel that way about me. Only his wife.

I must have been laying here awake in his arms for about 10 minutes when he starts waking up. He pulls me tighter in his arms and starts kissing my neck. That's when I feel it. Him. Hard against me. Yep, he's definitely thinking about laying here with Kathy. Looks like being blind is good for something. I don't want to look and see if his eyes are open or not though.

"Morning Livvie." He says to me, in that sexy as sin gravely, groggy morning voice.

Okay, so I guess he wasn't thinking about Kathy. Which means…he is hard because of me.

"El, we should, umm…get up now. We've got to get to the hospital soon." I tell him trying to get out of his arms.

"I don't know about you, but I'm already up." He says seductively, rubbing his erection up against me more, as if he needed to accentuate his point there.

"Elliot." I warn him.

"Okay, okay. Getting out of bed. I've got it." He tells me, letting go of me finally.

I get up out of bed and walk across the hall to Maureen and Kathleen's room to find something to wear. Settling on a pair of jeans and a Henley I got dressed and went out to wait for Elliot to get out of the shower.

Ten minutes later he comes walking out in track pants and a white wife beater. The epitome of hotness right now.

"So, you ready to go?" I ask when I finally remember it might be good to speak.

"I'm ready to see you and my kids again. I'm not sure how ready I am for the actual surgery. What if it doesn't work." He says, voice trembling.

I have never seen him this scared before, even during the Gitano case when he was held hostage.

"If it doesn't work, which won't happen, nothing will change. Your kids will still love you to no end." I tell him, taking his hand.

"What about you?" He squeezes my hand.

"Elliot."

"No. I'm not keeping my feelings to myself anymore." He says forcefully.

"I'm not Kathy."

There, I'll leave him to take that however he wants. I of course mean I won't leave him because of being blind. I also mean that I'm not her. He shouldn't be having these feelings about me.

Still holding his hand I start leading him to the door so we can leave. He holds my hand and walks next to me down to the elevator. When we get to the lobby we silently walk out to my SUV and get inside.

20 minutes later I'm pulling into Mercy General's visitors lot again. The whole ride Elliot had his hand on my thigh. I know it was just a comfort gesture for him, and I know it's making me a hypocrite to think it, but fuck if it didn't feel good.

We get out of the SUV and walk inside the building. Inside Elliot gets checked in and walked back to get prepped for surgery. I'm shown to the waiting room.

"Don't worry Mrs. Stabler, we'll have your husband back to you in no time." The nurse tells me. She walks off before I can correct her.

Just like that I'm sitting there all alone worrying about whether or not I'll ever truly get my partner back. An hour and a half later, there's still no word on how he's doing.

Just then I hear someone walking towards the waiting room. Someone who's not a nurse.

"Alex? What're you doing here?" I ask as she walks in the room.

"Figured you could use a friend right now." She tells me.

Alex sits down next to me and takes the Cosmo magazine I'm reading out of my hands.

"So, since I haven't been around, clue me in on why I hear Elliot's still married and expecting a baby with Kathy." Never one to be subtle, that Alexandra Cabot.

"Rough case, he went home." I can't do this with her. I can't do it with Casey, I can't do it with Alex.

"I see. And now? I don't recall seeing Kathy here with you."

"Apparently she couldn't deal with Elliot being blind. Hasn't been to see him since the day of the accident when they brought him in."

"Let me guess. You're still denying your feelings for him after all these years."

"Yes." I mumble.

"Yeah, just what I thought."

"He loves me." I don't know why I'm telling her that.

"Wait. What?"

"Yesterday after we left the station I took him back to his apartment. He told me then."

"He meant it too, didn't he?" She knows me, she knows I wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't.

"He meant it. That doesn't change things though. Once he's all healed up and Kathy wants him back again he'll go to her.

"I doubt it." Alex tells me. "It obviously took him a lot to admit that he loves you. He's not going anywhere."

We're interrupted by Elliot's cell phone ringing. I'm debating whether or not to answer.

"Stabler's phone." I finally decide to just answer.

"This is Elliot's lawyer, is he there?"

"Nope. I'm his partner, Olivia Benson. He's in surgery right now."

"Can you have him call me when he's feeling up to it? I have the results of his paternity test for him." The WHAT?!?

"Umm…yeah, sure. I'll let him know. He probably won't get to call until tomorrow. Will that be okay?" It'd better be.

"No problem. No changes need to be made from the custody papers we filed last time around. Bye for now."

He hangs up and suddenly it hits me. Holy Shit! The baby isn't Elliot's!

"Alex?"

"Who was that?" She asks, confused.

"Elliot's lawyer. I don't think he realized it but he just told me the baby isn't Elliot's." I tell her wide eyed.

"Excuse me?" She asks, just as shocked as I am.

"Yeah. My thoughts exactly. Although I guess it explains why she left so easily."

Okay. So, I have two choices here. I break the news to Elliot or I leave that for his lawyer. Either way he'll be crushed. His nine months pregnant, ready to give birth any day now, soon to be ex-wife, who's told him for almost a year now that she's carrying his child lied. I could just beat her senseless right now. You know, if she wasn't pregnant. So much for fucking respecting Kathy.

"So, you going to tell him?" Alex asks.

"No clue. No matter what he's going to be pissed."

"You want my honest opinion?" DUH!

"Of course I do."

"He's going to be more upset if he finds out later that you knew. How I can't figure out just yet. But you know if he does find out he will." She says.

"I've got to tell him." I realize.

There's footsteps coming down the hall again. This time it's one of the nurses. She walks in the room and stands in front of me.

"Mrs. Stabler?"

"Benson. Olivia Benson. I'm his partner actually." I let her know.

"Sorry, my apology. I just assumed…well, you are listed as his next of kin." She tells me.

Alex and I exchange a confused look.

"How is he?" I ask, hoping he's made it through okay.

"He was just coming to when I left. Calling for you actually, that is if you are Livvie. The surgery went well so far. Within the next day or so we should know if it was successful."

"Can I see him?"

"As soon as we get home in a room but you and your sister can go see him. He may still be a bit out of it though. I'll send someone for you when it's time." She says before leaving.

"My sister, huh?" I laugh.

"Well, Liv, you know you're just like a sister to me." Alex tells me, trying to hold back a laugh as well.

"I should probably call the kids and let them know El's out of surgery."

"I'll head over to the station and tell them all." She says and turns to leave.

I pick up my cell phone and dial Elliot's apartment, hoping someone's over there by now. Five rings later there's an answer.

"Hello?"

"Katie, it's Olivia."

"Liv, is he okay?" She asks me, panicked.

"He just got out of surgery Sweetie. The nurse said everything went good so far. It's too soon to tell if he can see again though."

"Can we come see him?"

"Sure. He's being moved to a room in a few so call me when you get here and I'll let you know which."

"Okay. It'll probably be about an hour, the twins are still out in Queens. Involved in some argument about the move no doubt." I can sense her rolling her eyes.

"Alright. See you then."

As I'm ending the call, Stacy, Elliot's nurse from days when he was in the hospital after the accident comes in.

"Olivia! As much as I don't like seeing return patients, I am glad to see you and Elliot back."

"So, I take it he's on the same floor?"

"Same floor, same room. C'mon, I'll walk you up." She says, helping me out of my chair.

We go down the hall to the stairway and walk up to Elliot's floor. Knowing what I know now about Kathy, I'm not afraid to see him like I was after he called me Baby or even like I was that first time after the accident. Now I'm not afraid of how he feels, or how I feel. I'm done hiding from it. I'm going to seize the day. Whatever Elliot wants between us, he'll get.

Once we've reached Elliot's room I walk right in.

"Livvie, Baby, you're still here." He groans out, still half out of it.

"Yeah, Honey, no place else I'd rather be."

"I love you, you know that right?" Moment of truth here.

"I know. I love you too El." I tell him, trying to say it so he knows I really mean it this time, but not sound like I'm going overboard.

He reaches for my hand and I take his in mine, lacing my fingers with his. For a moment I'm glad his eyes are bandaged up. He can't see the tears falling down my cheeks, thinking how to break the news to him about Kathy's baby.