VIII — Blood
Mai had never felt so anxious for something. In fact, she had never felt anxious for something at all. But so help her if she is not bleeding this week she will start slitting the throats of random people. Or maybe just her own.
She did not have anyone to ask, anyone to confide in. Even if she did, she probably would not. Yet, as she stared at the mirror in the morning and tried to find some way conceal the visible cracks in her psyche, she wondered again what would have happened if she had stayed with her friends.
They were supposedly doing fine. They probably were.
Mai did not know why they wouldn't be in a blissful, perfect little relationship of some sort. Ty Lee regretted what she did at the Boiling Rock. Mai might. She wondered if…if she knew she would end up here, in this situation, if she still would have done it. Never was she a selfless person. Maybe she would have sacrificed Zuko to save herself from this.
No, she wouldn't have. No, after knowing what it was like to be with his father she knew she would never be able to let him get hurt. He was gone. At least it wasn't because of her; she wouldn't be able to live with herself if it was.
She stopped those thoughts, but then was thrust into the ones about her current concern. It wouldn't be a reason to end her life, would it? Maybe if she went through with it, it would humanize the baby's father.
Mai visualized it, tried to find the bright side, tried to love him.
She was never good at that.
All she could do in that process was make her stomach nauseous and her heart race.
That evening, she found out she was not pregnant.
The crisis was narrowly averted.
